Richard Robinson <RICHARDROBINSON@prodigy.net> wrote:

I was trying for the mad effect.
Nodoka in this is mad, insane, she is killing everyone who
comes to the door, thinking they are Ranma.
The Seppuku contract is actually almost incidental.
I could have done this with anyone. All you need is one
serial killer.

I am sorry you didn't like the story, perhaps I should have
included an explanation but I thought it would ruin the
effect.

I think that while an author explanation would indeed be a bad idea, you
could and should put more clues into the story itself to help the reader
figure it out. Nodoka could notice a traveling salesman's briefcase in
the hands of her dead "son," for example; it wouldn't clue her in, but
it could clue *us* in without your having to be too explicit.

Carefully editing your story before you post is also a good idea. I
noticed sentence fragments, missing words, tense inconsistency, and a
whole plethora of missing or incorrect punctuation marks. If you want
more details, let me know, but my point is that if you're going to
write, even if only spamfics, then it's worth your while to learn (and
practice) the mechanics of good writing -- if for no other reason
because your potential readers will be far less likely to just hit
delete.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html

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