Subject: [FFML] [C&C][Orig][lime]LoveStruck: Seven Days Chapter 2 pt4
From: "Ragun P. Moody" <Kichigai@tds.net>
Date: 2/27/2002, 5:09 PM
To: "FFML" <ffml@anifics.com>, "Jennifer Poulos" <temhaire@hotmail.com>




	$Dang, was hoping to be the first to comment on this part in public,
but Nathan beat me to it.  Heh, yeah, I'll second that opinion, if this
gets published, I definitely wanna copy.


Here's the end of chapter 2.  And don't forget this has houses
interested in
publication so everyone who C&C's will be in the authors
acknowledgements.
: )      Thx LS and Jenny.

	$Erg, hope this gets to you in time to be of some use.  Take what you
will, ignore the rest.  I have been known to screw up in my comments,
you know.


            Lipton double-checked the address against the record of the
parking ticket.  It was correct, just surprising.  Most succubae hung
out on
street corners or in clubs that were cathouses in all but name.  Dante's
was
way too upscale for that.  It reeked of money... and Old Money at that.

            _So what the hell does she want here?_ he thought.  Then
recalling
the limits on those canceled cards, _Ah... spoiled for the rich life._
He
looked over the classical gothic exterior of the imposing three-story
building, the small bronze plaque by the door proclaiming "Dante," the
only

	$proclaiming 'Dante', the

hint to the buildings occupation.  If Seraph was hoping to hook a rich
sugar

	$building's

daddy, this was the place.

            As he waited for the lights to change, he thought about lack
of

	$about the lack

information any of his contacts had managed to dig up for him.  Beyond
the
parking ticket, Barnes and Davis had so far come up dry, but they were
still
working through a maze of holding companies.  Lorenzo hadn't called yet,
and
even Terry had dredged nothing helpful from the corpses.  He had no
evidence
yet to even try and get a search warrant.  Coming down here had been his
only idea for trying to dig up a little info.  If he could avoid anyone
figuring out he was a cop, that is.  Last thing he needed was someone

	$The last thing

thinking he was Vice.  He'd dressed in his one and only suit for this
little
outing, and as he started across the street, he loosened his much hated
tie.

            He eyed the trident-carved doors, and stopped.  Mrs. L. had

	$doors and

described something very similar to him as the weapon the succubus had
used.
He pulled out the small mini-camera from his pocket and snapped a quick
photo before stepping inside.

            His immediate impression was one of stifling heat and dim
ruddy
red light.  His eyes caught the two doorways with their shimmering
curtains
as his ears were assaulted by the loud rock and roll pouring out from
the
interior.  He smiled at the effect.  _Cute, you walk through the fire to
enter.  A little diabolic humor, anyone?  No wonder she came here, must
remind her of home._

            Then his eyes caught the huge shadowy figure of the man
behind
the cash drawer and he stepped back.

            It wasn't that the guy was over seven feet tall -  Lipton
had
fought bigger demons -  nor was it his hugely muscled frame, since most
of
those demons had been brawnier. but something about the blond giant
reached
deep into him and evoked primal responses.  He couldn't put a finger on
it,
but something about the man scared him like no demon ever had.

            "What the fuck are you?"  Lipton whispered.

            The giant stood and stepped forward, revealing a huge hammer
on
his belt.  Lipton stared.  The hammer was iron, a square head bound to a
haft of iron by studded iron straps.  Well-worn leather was braided
around
the haft to make a comfortable grip.  An aura of immense age clung to
it,
and like its wielder, it gave Lipton the impression that it could argue
right of way with a Mack truck and win.

	$Or a giant with a 'tude.

            The man bent over Lipton with a look that begged for an
excuse
to flex those muscles.  "Thor," he answered to Lipton's question.  "The
bouncer."

            Lipton drew a deep breath.  "Uh, yeah.  If you say so..."
He
edged around the man's bulk.  "I'll just be going inside now."  He tried
to
walk casually around the man to the curtains.

            A huge hand met his chest and propelled him back in front of
the
giant.  "Not without paying first.  Twenty buck cover."

            Lipton swallowed and dug out his wallet.  As he handed the
giant
the bill, Thor grinned.  "Hand over the cannon too."

            Lipton decided he didn't want to argue.  He unhooked the
holster
and handed it to Thor.

            Thor took it to a door behind his drawer and placed it on a
shelf inside.  Lipton didn't notice which; he was too busy staring at
the
angelic swords leaning just inside the door.  One was crested by a small
carving of a flaming sword, the other was capped by an ornate horn.
Thor
closed the door before he could make out more details.  The giant turned
to
him.  "Enjoy the show.  Got a real treat.  The Boss lady's on tonight."

            Lipton nodded, and started to the curtain.  He paused right
on
the threshold to look at Thor again.  "Uh... nice mallet..."

            Thor gave him a measuring look as he stepped inside.

            Once past the curtain, the club proved to be pleasantly
cool,
despite the crowd.  Girls in various stages of undress wandered around,
or
gave customers private dances at shadowy couches.

	$Y'know what I love about this series?  The fanservice.  Pure,
shameless fanservice.  It literally brings a tear to my eye.

  Across from the entrance,
the huge three-pronged stage dominated the room.  The music muted the
usual
drone of conversation, the heavy beat giving the illusion of privacy.
He
decided on a table near the circular end of the center stage, a seat
that
would give him a chance to watch the girls as they came off their sets
and
see which ones were particularly chatty.

            The waitress had just brought him his drink when the DJ's
announcement nearly made him choke.

            "A big hand for Destiny!  She'll be right down if you want a
more intimate dance, just remember, our girls work for tips, so show
your
appreciation!  And now, for the star of Club Dante.   She's been out of
town
for a long time, but she's back!  If you wondered why all our Dante's
girls
are so beautiful, wonder no more, because they have to live up to her
standards!  The owner of Club Dante presents... Herself!  A big hand
for...
_Seraph!_"

            Wild applause broke out across the bar as even the dancers
turned to watch.

            The lights around the bar died as silence fell, then with a
hiss
a line of flame traced the edge of the stage as a heavy guitar riff
began.
Lipton began to reach for his glass as a single spot lit the center of
the
circular stage.

            The glass was left forgotten as Lipton got his first long
look
at Seraph.  She stood outlined in the light, her hooves level with his
chest, her tail wrapped around the pole behind her, and her wings
artfully
raised.

            That one brief glimpse he'd gotten of her in human form at
the
crime scene hadn't prepared him for the sheer impact of her physical
presence.  Most of the succubae Lipton had dealt with came to his chin
at
best, hooves included, but Seraph stood nearly seven feet tall, and
unlike
the soft sexy toys most succubae resembled, Seraph possessed a dancers
sleek
musculature.  For all her oversized breasts and rounded hips, Seraph
moved
with the grace and elegance of a gymnast.  She seemingly paid no
attention
to the crowd watching her, mesmerized, but she played them expertly, lit
by
the one spot and the flickering flames of the stages rim.  Lipton found
himself feeling sorry for the audience, unable to truly see Seraph as
she
was.  Her wings and tail were as much a part of her dance as any other
part
of her body.

	$Yes, this WOULD be fun to see animated.

            Then she finished her first song, having stripped from her
lacy
lingerie to a see through black bra and a g-string.  The music surged
from
the relatively slow song into a high energy dance number, and with it
Seraph
switched from the slow seductive motions of her first dance into a
whirlwind
of motion.  She flashed around the five poles of the circular stage in a
routine like the parallel bars turned on their sides, her motions giving
the
customers tantalizing glimpses of her body.  The crowd pressed against
the
stage, kept from climbing on the stage only by the flames.  Unable to
pour
onto the stage, they satisfied themselves with throwing money instead.

            At the highpoint of her song, Seraph did a set of turns
around a
pole that culminated with a mighty leap across the gap between the
center
stage and one of the outlying ones.  As she passed overhead, Lipton
noticed
her wingspan was a good thirty foot.

	$was at least thirty feet wide.

  She landed on the far stage with a
spin around another pole to the gasps and applause of those who had only
seen her acrobatics.

            Her final song started with her only in the skimpy g-string,
and
with it, she finally unleashed her abilities.  Lipton had to fight to
keep
from joining the crowd thronging at her feet.  He was surprised at the
difference Seraph's aura had from the other Succubae he'd encountered.

	$Should Succubae really be capitalized?

  He'd
played with them once or twice, and had always felt drained afterwards,
but
Seraph's aura had none of the hunger he'd learned to associate with a
Succubus using her powers.  It enticed, entreated, and begged for him to
respond, but there wasn't a hint of demand to it, he could respond or
not as
he chose.

            And it was all the more difficult to resist for it.

            Entirely too soon, the dance was over, and several girls
took to
the stage to collect the money Seraph hadn't deigned to pick up.  At the
sight of several hundreds in the take, Lipton whistled silently.  She
doesn't need a sugar daddy... Not with a take like that... and did the
DJ
say she _owned_ Dante's?

            "She's amazing isn't she?" a feminine voice asked from right
next to him.  He jumped and turned to see the dancer who'd been on stage
before Seraph sitting next to him.  He'd never noticed her setting down.
Blankly he nodded.

            "I was jealous the first set she danced.  I thought that
after
her, no-one would make a dime, but she doesn't work the tables.  She
just
gets em all worked up and leaves 'em to us.  I've already made what I
normally do in a night, and we still have four sets to go."

            "Uh... yeah... She's... amazing."  Lipton honestly couldn't
think of any other way to describe what he'd seen.

            "And she's pretty nice too.  I mean, you'd figure the boss
wanting to dance would mean she wants to show the girls up, but she's
gonna
teach us some of her dance moves, and she's already been giving advice
on
how to pick up extra tips."

            "Ah... I see...  So she's the boss?"  So he hadn't heard the
DJ
wrong.

            "Yeah.  She's had Tony managing the place while she's been
touring around the country, but now she's decided to come back
permanently."

            Great way to keep a low profile... wonder if she knows she's
being hunted?  Lipton mused.  "Looks like she'll be a real money maker."

            "Oh, for sure.  If she keeps pulling this kind of crowd,
I'll be
able to get my nose fixed in no time."

            Lipton looked at her pert nose, but refrained from
commenting.
"Um, yeah.  She looked great on the stage.  You known her for long?"

            "Oh, no.  She's been out of town, for like, forever.  I met
her
this afternoon when she stopped by with her girlfriend.  That was kinda
a
bummer ya know.  I mean, I got a rich boss who's, like, totally into
girls,
and she already has a drop dead gorgeous girlfriend.  And, they're,
like,
totally devoted to one another."  The girl gave a small pout.  "I mean,
I
wish I could find anyone half that in love with me.  Who cares what sex
she
is?"

            Lipton tried not to let his surprise show.  This wasn't
sounding
like a typical succubus crush.  The girl should have been completely
jealous
of anyone Seraph spent time with, and bitter that she wasn't Seraph's
play
toy.  Instead, she sounded like she envied Seraph more than she desired
her.

            "So, what does the boss's girlfriend look like?"

            "Oh, she a totally hot redhead.  She's awful short next to
Miss
Darkfell, but I wish I looked that good.  She's like got a smile that
just
lights up her whole face and makes her look like some kinda angel or
something.  And when she looks at the boss lady, you can tell how much
she
loves her."  She sighed.  "She's so lucky..."

            "Does she have a name?"

            "Huh?  Oh, yeah... Harterial or something.  But she said to
call
her Heart."

            An Angel called Heart.  Harteriel... he thought, mentally
correcting the girl's spoken _al_ into the _el_ all Angelic given names
ended
with.  At least it's something to check on.  He nodded.  "So what's she
like?"

            "Oh, she's kinda shy.  Tony wanted her and Miss Darkfell to
do,
like, a lesbo show, but that got nixed.  Pity really, if she's half as
good
as Miss Darkfell, they'd make most of the audience cream in their pants
watching."

            Lipton shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

            "And you know what?  I mean half the girls here would have
an
orgasm thinking about doing a lesbo act with Seraph, but she, like,
won't
dance with anyone else."

            "Devoted?"

            "Totally.  They, like, call each other Beloved and My Love
and
Dear.  They're so sweet you could get cavities."

	$Or diabetes.

            Lipton nodded and made polite noises as the girl continued
to
babble.  It was really strange.  She just didn't act like anyone he'd
ever
met with a succubus crush.  But then, nothing else about this case made
much
sense either.  One thing was becoming certain though.  Seraph Darkfell
was
about as close to a normal succubus as Alpha Centauri was to Earth.
Closer
than anything else, but still light-years away.

	$Nice analogy.

            He politely turned down an offer for a lap dance, and
followed
the girl with his eyes as she swayed to another table.  He was rather
glad
she'd gone, Seraph's dance had almost made him aroused enough to have
taken
her on the table.  As she sauntered across the bar, a flash of silver
drew
his eyes.  He focused on a table near the back with a pair of gentleman
in
Armani suits...

            And halos...

            The swords in Thor's closet returned to his mind, and he
decided
maybe they should have a little talk.  Two angels in a club owned by a
Succubus who just seemed to be dating an angel seemed a little
farfetched to
be coincidence.  No, they had to be here to watch Seraph.

            And maybe, they'll have some of the answers I need... if I
can
pry it out of them.

            He noted as he crossed the bar that people seemed to
unconsciously give the pair room.  Even though they were shape shifted
to
not have their wings, no-one bumped into the pair, and none of the girls
had
approached.  It seemed they were trying to be inconspicuous.  If he
couldn't
see their halos, he'd have never noticed them.  Which was probably the
point.  He smiled.  Nothing like disturbing angels to get one's blood
going.

            He sat down without asking.  "Gentlemen."

            They looked at him curiously.  The taller of the pair spoke
blandly.  "May we help you?"

            Lipton nodded.  "I sure as hell hope so."  He ignored the
wince.
"Mary wouldn't tell me much, but seeing as how you two are here, maybe
you
will."

            "I beg your pardon?" the angel asked.

            "Drop the innocent act.  I saw your swords up front, and I
can
see your halos.  I got six dead demons in an alley, an angel, and a
succubus.  I had lunch with the Virgin, who's hunting them, and now I
got
two angels in the club where the succubus works.  You ask me... that's
just
entirely too many coincidences to make me comfortable.  So I gotta ask.
What brings a pair of angels here?"

            "One could ask you the same thing," the shorter Angel said.

            "Fair enough.  I'm the detective assigned to the homicides,
and
hard as it may be to believe, yon sex demon is my primary suspect.  I
helped
Mary off six demons in her apartment yesterday, and spent an afternoon
getting vamped by the horniest Madonna I never imagined, then I come
here
and find you two watching the Succubus turn on an entire bar.  Just what
is
wrong with this picture?"

            The pair looked at one another.  The taller looked back at
Lipton.  "I'm afraid I really don't know what you are talking about,
Detective.  My associate and I are consultants to a local business.  My
card."  He slid a business card across the table.

            "And mine," the other Angel added.

            Lipton looked at the two cards.  "Gabriel Horne and Michael
Wright?"  He shook his head.  "Great.  Not only do I run into a
thirteen-year-old homicidal maniac who just happens to be the Mother of
God,
now I have to run into a pair of Archangels with lousy puns for last
names?"
He rubbed his temples.  "Why couldn't this be a simple case?"

	$Heh, both of those angels rank pretty high up there in badassness.
They don't seem as inclined to hack and slash as one might suppose,
though.

            "Perhaps you are working too hard, Detective," Gabriel said.
"Perhaps a vacation would do you good."

            "If you're telling me to drop the case, forget it.  I don't
give
a damn what you so-called higher powers do elsewhere, but I have six
bodies
that NYPD is wanting explained, and I don't have the luxury of telling
them
that they were demons, so who gives a damn.  Next week it might be
angels.
Again, who cares?  As far as I'm concerned you all can go and fuck
yourselves and leave us poor humans alone.  We don't need you, you need
us.
Now give me a fucking answer, godammit!  What the fuck is so important
about
this bitch succubus that it drags the Guardian of Eden and the Trumpeter
of
Judgment to Earth to watch her dance!"

	$dance?!"


            "I do believe you've had too much to drink, Detective
Lipton.  I
have no idea what you are talking about," Gabriel said coldly.

            Lipton glared at the icy look in Gabriel's eyes, the anger
in
Michael's.  "I haven't even touched my drink."  Neither angel said
anything.
"Fine.  If that's how you want to play it.  I'm getting fed up with you
fucking sons of bitches and your smug attitudes."  He stood.  "This
isn't
the end of this."

            "Yes it is Detective, Lipton.  Believe me, it is," Michael
said.

            Lipton leaned down and looked Michael in the eye.  "You
don't
scare me, asshole.  I know you bastards can be killed.  I've picked up
pieces of you scattered all over too many crime scenes.  I will find out
what the fuck is going on, and you better pray it isn't something I
think
needs stopping, or it might just get messy."

	$Talkin' smack to the holier than thou's, heh.  That's just too funny.

            Gabriel's hand stopped Michael's as he was reaching for
Lipton's
collar.  "Calm down, Michael.  He's just attempting to provoke you."  He
turned back to Lipton.  "I believe you were just leaving?"

            Lipton's eyes narrowed as he met Gabriel's implacable gaze.
Finally, he turned and stormed out of the bar.

            "Goddamn angels," he muttered as he waited for Thor to get
his
gun, so furious he wasn't paying attention.  "I'd like to shove those
halos
up their fucking asses!"

            Thor grinned hugely.  "Now there's a sentiment I heartily
agree
with."  He laughed.  "Come back some time and I'll buy you a drink."

            Lipton stared.  "Who are you?"

            "Thor Odinson.  God of Thunder and War, at least until their
type showed up anyway."  He hooked a thumb back at the bar.  "Damn Monos
can't stand for anyone to worship anyone but their precious Almighty."

            "Uh... yeah... I suppose."

            "Those two pricks tried to give me shit about surrendering
their
swords.  I almost got to give Mjolnir a workout.  I haven't collected
any
halos in years.  It's getting depressing."

	$I dunno, Thor's not someone to ignore, but those particular two angels
ain't pushovers, either.  I think they could take him.

            "I can imagine..."  Lipton couldn't think of anything else
to
say.

            "Still, I couldn't very well keep em out, what with the
boss's
girlfriend and all."  He sighed.  "What's the world coming to these
days?
When an angel is sleeping with a succubus?  Give me the old days, when
you
could always keep the players straight."

	$Little homophobia there?  There's nothing wrong with a little kink.

            Lipton just nodded dumbly as he reclipped his gun.  "I can
sympathize... Believe me..."


            Sitting in his car a few minutes later, Lipton pounded his
hands
in frustration against the steering wheel.  This case was getting more
aggravating by the second.  Mythological Gods now!  Would it get any
weirder?

	$Mythological?  Apparently not.

            At least, he had a name for the angel.  Harteriel Serefina.
Thor had been more verbose than the Archangels, and had told him about
his
meeting with the lovers the day before.  And it was becoming evident
that
there really was some relationship between the succubus and the angel,
however hard to believe that was.

            Still, he had more questions on top of the ones he already
had.
And to top it off, now that he'd calmed down from his encounter with the
Archangels, he had to find some way of dealing with the effects Seraph's
dancing had had on him.

            Only one cure for that.  Problem was, he had no girlfriend.
He
could never get up enough nerve to ask Terri out, and his odd hours
interfered with meeting anyone.  So he was alone, and horny enough to
fuck
anything.

	$I hate to blaspheme like this, but if Mary is only wearing a bikini to
protect her virtue, there's always the Clinton definition of sex...

            Well, there was one type of hooker in New York he could
count on
not to give him something incurable, and there was the
possibility she might even have some information on Seraph...

            After all, who better to ask about a succubus than another
succubus?



******


            Heart hummed happily as she placed the last of the groceries
in
her purse.  She was rather proud of herself.  She'd done exactly as
Seraph
had told her and taken the items up to the nice clerk, and given him the
green pieces of paper Seraph had told her was considered money these
days,
and he'd given her back her change.  He had
been so nice, she had given him one of the green pieces as a thank you,
one
that had a picture of a bald guy with glasses.  Seraph would be so
proud.
She'd never paid attention to the little details of how mortal life had
changed since she had been mortal,
and the grocery store was a complete change from the bazaars she
remembered.
Her head was still spinning from all the advice Seraph had poured out to
her
on shopping alone.

            Still, she had gotten everything on the list, and the
instructions on the sides of most of them seemed easy enough to follow.
She figured she'd have no problems making a meal for when Seraph got off
work.

            She was digging in her purse for the keys to the Corvette,
glad
Seraph had enchanted it to make it easier for her to drive, when she
heard
the guttural voice.

            "Well, well, if it isn't the pretty little angel."

            She looked up to see several shadowy figures between her and
the
car.  She switched from searching for the keys to grip the smooth wooden
hilt of her sword.

            "We were sent to kill the slut, but what the hell, we'd
planned
on fucking her first.  You'll do just as well."

            The speaker stepped into the light.  He wasn't trying to
conceal
his nature from her and he leered at her hungrily.  He had a
goat's head, and his muscular body rested on clawed feet. He was naked,
and
obviously planned to make good his threat.  His
member was a huge bloated organ nearly two feet long.

	$Yeah, he's big, but I know an old boy from Texas who...  Nevermind.

            "Come here, sweet cheeks, and I'll show you what it's like
to
get fucked by a man."

            "Not interested," Heart replied.

            "Now who said you had a choice?"  He jumped at her.

            Her sword flashed out and clove the demon in half in mid
air.

	$Clove in half, heh.  Now that's a fight with spice.

She ducked under the pieces and stabbed the second one who was rushing
her
through the head.  She wrenched the blade free just barely in time to
block
a thrust from a glowing red blade held by the third demon.  She traded
blows
furiously for several seconds
before she penetrated his guard and beheaded him.  She started to turn
and
look for the fourth when he slammed into her back.

            She landed hard, her sword skittering away as the demon
tried to
tear away her skirt and press his member between her
legs.  She reached behind her and tried shoving him off, but he was too
strong.  Angrily, she shouted a phrase in Angelic as she grabbed his
face.

            The ball of force threw the demon nearly a hundred feet
before
he exploded into a bloody rain.  She stood and dusted
herself off, muttering a charm to mend the ripped skirt.

"I wasn't in shock and unarmed this time," she told the corpses as she
picked up her sword.  "Makes a difference."

            "I agree,"

	$agree."

            She whirled towards the car, sword at the ready again.

            "Oh please, I'm no fighter, Harteriel," the tall shadow by
the
'Vette said.  "I came to talk.  Regrettably, I had planned to get here
before Bhaalor's minions did, but..."  It shrugged.

            "Who are you?" Heart asked, not relaxing a bit.

            The shadow stepped into the light, revealing the Lord of
Corruption.

            "Mephistopheles.  In the flesh, metaphorically speaking."

            "What do you want?"

            "Merely to appeal to you.  As one rational being to
another."
He motioned to the dead demons.  "Bhaalor wants your lover dead.  Alas,
she
no longer works for me, over this whole silly misunderstanding, and I
cannot
protect her from the brute."  He sighed.  "I'd really like to correct
that,
and have Seraph back doing what she loves, but there's just this one
small
little problem."

            "And that would be?" Heart asked warily.

            "You, my darling Angel.  Seraph was deathly afraid you'd
object
to living in Hell, and rather than risk your love, the short-sighted
girl
quit."

            "That's not what she told me."

            "Of course not.  But it's true.  This whole little spat is
over
you.  Yes, there are demons in Hell who'd like nothing better then to
torture an angel like you to death.  Seraph was afraid to risk you, and
was
worried you'd be in danger if she kept working for me.  She never gave
me a
chance to offer a solution that would grant you perfect safety," he
shook
his head, "and allow you both to live in Hell and work together doing
what
you both love."

            Heart really wished Seraph had told her more about her
abrupt
departure from Hell.  She had no idea if Mephistopheles was telling the
truth; it would have been just like Seraph to be so quick in doing what
she
thought would please Heart that she would overlook her own happiness.
She
knew Seraph had enjoyed her work for the D.O.C.  Still...

            "And what is this solution of yours?"

            "Elegantly simple, my angel.  You were Theliel's best agent,
and
the idiot exiled you, all because you admired Seraph's abilities to make
people happy, a skill that complimented yours, and because you loved
her.
You could continue to work with Seraph as you have been, you'd just both
be
working for me.  And just as I can give Seraph my protection, I could
extend
my sheltering wing over you as well.  I am the father of succubae,
Harteriel.  Making you into one would involve only a few hours, and then
you
could freely enter Hell with Seraph, freeing both of you from this
dreary
Mortal plane and allowing you both to return to what you do so well."
He
smiled.  "I certainly have no objections to your mated status.  In fact,
I
consider it a great boon."

            "And I would be a succubus too?"

            "Exactly.  What could be more perfect?"

            "I-I don't know.  I'll have to think about it, talk to
Seraph...
'
            "You know if you do, she'll try to talk you out of it, sure
that
you'd be miserable, and not giving a thought to her own unhappiness over
leaving her job."

            Heart nodded.  That was quite likely.  "I don't know.  I
still
have to think about it.  If it would make Seraph happy...  I just want
to be
sure."

            "Don't wait too long, angel.  Bhaalor gets madder with every
troop he loses.  Sooner or later, he'll try again."

            "Don't push me, Mephie!"

	$Mephie?  She calls him Mephie?  Nah, I'd change that back to his full
name.  Just doesn't seem right.

            "I'm not, Heart.  I want Seraph back where she belongs, and
to
do that, I need to make you happy as well as her.  That's all I'm trying
to
do."  He smiled as he faded from view.  "Until later..."

            Heart stood there thinking for a long time before she
reached
for the handle of the 'Vette.

******

            After Seraph, the succubus had turned out to be a little
disappointing.  Even the full exercise of her abilities to enhance
orgasm
had barely satisfied him, and he'd sated her before she'd been able to
drain
all the sexual tension Seraph had evoked.  He sighed and looked down to
the
small brunette with small black horns.  She was still slowly bobbing her
head, but not trying too hard to actually stimulate him.

            "Feed well?"

            She nodded, then looked up, alarmed.

            "Yeah, I know about your kind.  You've eaten, now how about
answering a few questions?"

            Anger glittered in her eyes.  "You're a cop."

            "Yep."  He brought the gun from under his pillow.  "And this
is
blessed ammo.  Don't get frisky.  I'm not out to add your horns to my
trophy
bag."

            She eyed the gun.  "You're bluffing."

            "Tell that to the goon I killed yesterday.  Bhaalor needs to
train them better."

            "How do you know that name.?"  Belief was dawning in her
eyes.

	$name?"  Belief, and a little fear, filled her eyes.

            "The same way I know you work for Mephistopheles.  The
Virgin
told me."

            She paled.  "Oh, shit."

            "I'm not as psychotic as Mary.  I just want information, and
a
good laying.  I got one, now I want the other."

            "Look, I don't want to die again.  I've only been a succubus
for
a year now.  I don't want to be reincarnated and maybe come back as a
bug."

	$I dunno, I think a bug would be pretty fun.  Ever read Biography of a
Flea?  Now THAT was erotic comedy.

            "Then answer my questions, and you get to leave without a
hole
in your head to match the one between your legs."

            "What do you want to know."

	$"What do you want to know?" she asked fearfully, poised to either run
or fight.

	It needs some description there, you decide.

            "Seraph Darkfell."

            The succubus swallowed hard.  "She's one of a handful of
Mephistopheles' best agents.  I don't know much else.  She and her kind
don't hang out with us common succubae much.  They all look down on us,
treat us like dirt."

            "So why haven't you ganged up and killed them?"

            "One, they're Mephie's pets, and two, they are just too damn
powerful."

            "How so?"

            She shrugged.

	$Little to blase there.  Add some fear, lessening as she begins to
believe that he's not going to kill her.

  "They just are.  I don't know why, or how to
explain it.  A Succubus tries to kill one of em, and she gets her head
shoved up her twat."

            "What about the other demons?"

            "Don't know.  Other than the usual stuff, most of them leave
us
alone.  We're just sextoys."

            "But Seraph is one of these special succubae?"

            "Up till a couple of days ago, she was Mephie's favorite.
Haven't seen her since she stormed out of Hell.  Made quite a ruckus,
though."

            "Anything else you can tell me about Seraph's group?"

            "Not much... well... maybe.  I heard a rumor that they're
the
only succubae with innate weapons."

            "What?"  Lipton looked puzzled.

            "Innate weapons.  Weapons that are theirs alone.  Like
Bhaalor's
Morningstar, a Valkyrie's spear, or an Archangel's sword.  A weapon that
belongs just to them.  In Hell, usually only the Demon Lords have them."

            "I see.  Any other juicy gossip?"  He was going to have to
remember that succubae seemed to be gossip hounds.

            "Not really... only other thing I can think of is that
Bhaalor
is real mad about something, and that Lucifer is awake for the first
time in
centuries."

            "I see.  So Hell is astir about something."

            "I don't know.  I don't know any more."

            "Really?"  Lipton lifted the gun and pointed it at her head.
"Are you sure?"

            "Yes!  I swear.  You said you wouldn't kill me if I told you
what I knew!"  A tear rolled down her cheek.

            Maybe it was the tear... maybe it was that he was starting
to
believe that not every demon had to be evil... maybe it was just that
she
was harmless and had been a decent lay...

	$Harmless.  Yeah, right.  Even a weak succubus could rip his spleen out
through his ass.

            Maybe it was even because he had told her would...

            He raised the gun and clicked on the safety.  "Okay.  I
believe
you.  Go on and get your clothes."

            He was surprised to actually see gratitude in her eyes...

******

            Lipton stood on his balcony looking in the direction the
Succubus had winged off, trying to put all the pieces together.

	$succubus

            "Nice view," a voice behind him said.

            He started to turn, to cover himself, then recognized the
voice
and decided not to bother.

            "I would have killed her."

            "I'm not as psychotic on the subject as you are, Mary."

            "So I see.  If I wasn't in this die-cast condom, I'd be
jealous."

	$I wonder why she's never tried to use her... Head.

            "I was horny. They're safer than normal hookers.  Immune to
disease.  Besides, she's harmless."

            "Harmless?  She's already broken up four homes, gotten five
people killed in fights over her and made a mother of two commit suicide
over guilt for their lesbian relationship."

	$Succubus: Actually, that was a mistake.  I really did like her, but
some people just don't know how to be happy.

            "You always such a downer?  Compared to the guys I usually
hunt,
she's harmless.  They actually kill people."

            "Demons are demons."

            "I saw one tonight who's really making me wonder about
that."

            "Who? Her?  Succubae are great actors.  It's part of what
makes
them so effective."

            "No... Seraph."

            "You saw her tonight?"

            "Yes."

            "Where?"  There was a hard edge to her voice.

            "No.  I don't think so.  There are way too many questions
that
need answers yet for me to let you go off and kill her."

            "Like what?"  Mary's voice was dangerous.

            "Like why Gabriel and Michael were there for one thing."

            "Oh, really..."  An interested tone replaced the lethal one.

            "I asked them why, but they were rather closed-mouthed."

            "Humm... I wonder what my son is up to.  Maybe I'll go and
ask
him."

            "There's another thing.  The angel was with her earlier.  I
talked to a direct  witness.  I don't think she's being held against her
will."

            "Then why is she with the Succubus?"

            "According to the witness, because they're in love."

            "Impossible!"  Mary screamed.

            "Mary, my world got turned upside down eight years ago by a
demon I could have sworn was impossible.  The last three days have
beaten a
lot of the belief in the impossible that I had left out of me.  I'm not
sure
what I believe anymore."  He turned to lean against the balcony rail.
"I'm
not even sure I'm still sane.  The Mother of God wants to fuck my brains
out; the God of Thunder wants to buy me a drink; and I just pissed off
the
Archangels of Apocalypse and Righteousness.  If I told a shrink any of
that,
I'd never see the outside of a padded cell again."  He laughed.  "After
all
of that, what's impossible?"

            Mary's eyes bored into his, but she didn't have an answer.

******

            The phone rang in the plush apartment and a feminine hand
almost
instantly picked it up.

            "Hello?"

            "Maggie?  We have a problem."

            "What?"

            "An overly inquisitive Detective for the NYPD. It appears he
has
True Sight, and has been talking to Mary.  He confronted Michael and I
at
the club while we were observing the succubus."

            Magdalene looked over at her sleeping husband.  No need to
wake
him.

	$Hah!  Knew he was laying her.

            "I'll take care of it, Gabriel."

******

            Lilith looked down at the chessboard laid out in front of
her
husband's throne.

            "A most excellent game, no?"  Lucifer said.  "The excitement
of
something new!"  He swept his hands over the board.  "What happens next?
Our Lord of Temptations has made his play.  Will the Angel fall to his
charms and deliver herself and her Love unwittingly to Hell?  Will our
good
detective find his answers?  Or will he go mad trying?  Will Mary kill
Seraph and condemn the Angel to an eternity of torment?  Will Bhaalor?"
He
laughed. "Oh, the joy of not knowing what happens next!"

            Lilith was happy to see her husband so animated, and yet...

            Her mind kept wandering back to that first night where she
had
watched the angel and demon make love...

            She'd been happy once... when she and Lucifer had just met
and
vowed themselves to one another... then as time had passed she'd lost
his
interest...

	$Too many friggin elipses.  Rework that with commas and occasional
actual periods.

            She stared at the chessboard... at the figures of Heart and
Seraph that stood there, and contemplated happiness lost...

	$Same here.

******

            Heart was subdued as Seraph drove them back to the hotel.
Seraph endured the silence with a sinking heart until she finally had to
ask
"Beloved?  Did I do something wrong?  If I did, I'm sorry."  The misery
in
her voice was plain.

            Heart looked up.  "Oh, Beloved, no!  I'm sorry.  I-I got
into a
fight with some demons earlier... And - and it seems Bhaalor is out to
kill
you!"

            Seraph tried to brighten.  "Oh?  Is that all?  Well all that
means is that I'll have to kill more of his troops.  I'm not worried.
They're incompetent."

            Heart could hear the traces of false bravado. "Oh, Beloved!
I
don't want to lose you!"

            "You won't, Beloved.  I'm not alone.  You're with me.  And
with
you I can beat anything."

            "I hope we can, Beloved."

            "No.  I know we can, Heart.  We love each other too much to
fail."

            Heart's eyes were wide, but she looked away.  "Do - do you
miss
Hell?"

            Seraph thought about it before answering.  "Maybe a little.
But
you're not there.  Without you..."

            "But what if I was there?  What if I went with you?"

            "No, Beloved.  The other demons would try to kill you."

            "But what if I was a demon too?"

            Seraph slammed on the brakes.  The car skidded to a halt on
the
currently empty street.

            "I am going to kill him," she said quietly.

            "Beloved?"

            "What did he tell you?  Did he say he could make you a
Succubus?"

            Heart nodded, alarmed at the anger in Seraph's voice.

            "Did he tell you how?"  Seraph whispered, her voice
anguished.

            Heart shook her head.

            Seraph collapsed on the steering wheel.  "Do you think
that's
what I want you to become?"  She whispered so softly that Heart had to
strain to hear.

            Heart laid her hand on Seraph's shoulder.  "I don't know
beloved.  If it would make you happy..."

	$happy...?"

            Seraph beat her head against the wheel.  "I'm such a fool!"

            "Beloved!"  Heart cried.  She wrapped her arms around Seraph
to
keep her from hitting her head again.  "Beloved, please don't do that!
Please tell me what's wrong!"

            "I should have known he'd try this..." Seraph sobbed.  "I
should
have warned you..."

	$this,"     you!"

            "Oh, Beloved!  I'm so sorry... I-I just want you to be happy
and

	$sorry, I, I just

he... he..."  Heart faded out as she started crying.

            "Beloved, I quit to spare you that fate, to save you from
becoming a succubus..." Seraph whispered.  "That's what he's had planned
for
you all along..."

	$along," she said, trailing off at the realization.

            "Would... would that truly be so bad?  If I could be with
you..."

	$you?"

            "You don't understand what's involved... what he has to do
to

	$involved, what

you to make you a succubus."

            "Is it truly so horrible?"

            Seraph nodded.  "It would destroy you.  All of you that I
love.
He would break you and rape you and make you over in his image.  He
would
rip out your essence and intertwine it with his own...  Only a very few
of

	$own.

us rejected his essence and stayed sane, stayed ourselves, but we paid a
terrible price for it.  All that we were before was gone.  The thought
of
that happening to you was more than I could bear, Beloved."

            Heart patted her head.  "It won't, Beloved.  Not now.  He
almost
fooled me, but never again."  She hugged Seraph tight.  "And once again
you
save me..."

	$me."

******

            Heart got to surprise Seraph with a candlelit dinner in
their
room.  She was
thankful for room service.  Seraph enjoyed it so much that Heart decided
not
to tell her about the ruins of her attempt at cooking.

	$Lemme guess.  She tried to make a devil's food cake, didn't she?

            After dinner, they made love for almost two hours before
drifting towards sleep,

	$Bah, you skipped over the good stuff.

 when Heart asked drowsily,  "Do you remember your
making, Beloved?"

            Seraph shook her head.  "No... All I remember is being a
Succubus when I woke up..."

	$up."

            Heart snuggled against her warm side.  "I wonder what you
were,
before..."

	$were.   Before, I mean."

            Then there were only the sounds of contented sleep...

	$sleep.



	$Sorry I was a bit late on this, but hey, ask around.  This is like
lightning for me.  I've been busy with classes, and editing for a
college literary journal.  Yeesh.  I'd rather write C&C anyday.

	Overall impressions are:

	Yes, this rocks.  I feel bad that I haven't been giving detailed C&C
from the beginning, especially if you're trying to get it published.
You need it as spotless as possible for that, and you _do_ have a few
mistakes in each chapter I've seen.

	I think you're getting in too much of a rush in spots I feel should be
drawn out a little more.  Lipton's interrogation of the succubus in
particular.  Make us feel her fear, that sickening realization that not
only is she anyone's meat in Hell, she's also an easy kill for a simple
cop.  That'd be a nasty thing to know about yourself.

	Too many elipses.  While yes, I have recently become aware that I've
been doing it wrong, at least according to the Webster books, they're
still a favorite gripe of mine.  Don't use so many, it looks
unprofessional, like you don't know how to end a sentance.  I know
people trail off at the ends of sentances, but you can work around it
and still let the reader see that.

	Definitely a fun read, though, and I eagerly look forward to more.  How
long we gonna have to wait?


-Ragun





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