----- Original Message -----
From: "Dave Menard" <menard5078@home.com>
To: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>; <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Saturday, November 17, 2001 12:19 AM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [FFML][fanfic][GundamWing] Yardwork (featuring Heero
Yui) Part 1

As always, D.B., when you're funny, you're _funny_. This one had me

giggling

like a maniac. Finally, a GW fic that those of us who can't stand GW can
enjoy!

    One thing, though. You kind of telegraphed the "Heero-beats-up-Dolph"
gag, I could see it coming a mile away. It was still funny, and I can't

for

the life of me think of how to improve the timing, but it was the one
slightly-weak bit in an otherwise stellar fic.

    Perhaps if Heero doesn't ask him for his 'assistance' until _after_ he
calls Selena?

    Ja mata,
    Larry F

    http://lwf58.tripod.com
    http://phantasiaca.tripod.com

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