Insertion

 

    Part 67

 

    Visiting Nerima

 

+++++++++++

 

    It was mid afternoon in Japan, the sun was
high in 
the air and slowly descending towards the
horizon.

 

    They had attempted their new technique earlier
that 
morning and had kept it up for about four
hours. They stayed in the home and 
things were
relatively quiet, other than a small scuffle about
what to 
watch on television that is.

 

    Now, Carrot stood in the street staring at Dan
and 
Xianfu just after they finished their
separation. "Well, we should get going. 
I'd say
we've got anywhere from three to four hours before
this breaks 
down on us."

 

    "Right, stay out of trouble," said Dan with a
snort 
as he turned away and started walking.

 

    "I suppose I'll see you when you get back
then," said 
Xianfu as she turned away.

 

    Ranma growled at her, but didn't say anything.
Carrot 
turned them around and started walking.
"Easy there buddy, we've got other 
concerns
today."

 

    They were all in different forms. Carrot and
Ranma 
were in their original sixteen-year-old
form, Dan was in their older adult 
form, and
Xianfu had taken the guise of Yohiko.

 

    "Right," grumbled the original owner of their
body 
hatefully. "We'll get her later."

 

    "One way or another," agreed Carrot as he
strolled 
down the street. "So where are we going?"

 

    "Well, Xianfu is moving into Nerima, who the
hell 
knows where Dan wandered off too, so I guess
we'll go this way," replied 
Carrot as he pointed
towards their destination.

 

    "I thought we weren't supposed to fight,"
muttered 
Ranma dumbly.

 

    "We should be all right," said Carrot as they
started 
towards Nerima.

 

+++++++++++++

 

    "So...ummm..." said Pissant as they stepped
into a 
bar and sat down at a stool. "What are we
doing today?"

 

    Dan snorted and glanced up at the bartender.
"Getting 
drunk."

 

    "Oh, why?" asked the voice with a slightly
nervous 
tone.

 

    "Because I deserve it, and we're gonna need it
to 
kill the pain once those idiots get together
again."

 

    "Oh."

 

    The bartender walked over to them and smiled.

 

    Dan returned the smirk. "Gimme a beer."

 

++++++++++++

 

    Xianfu smiled and sighed with contentment as
she 
walked through the streets in silence. It was
a wonderful feeling to just 
walk, no constant
babbling, no arguments, nothing. Just the sweet
sound of 
silence.

 

    After a moment she found herself in the middle
of a 
small shopping center and sat down at a table
just outside a cafe.

 

    "Good morning," said the handsome waiter as he
walked 
up to her with a notepad in his hand.

 

    "Yes it is isn't it?" she replied with a
smirk. The 
man's gaze was lustful and she crossed
her legs with expert care as she 
noticed his gaze
wandering slightly.

 

    He seemed to snap out of his stupor and opened
his 
mouth to speak.

 

    She interrupted him and tossed the menu aside.
"Bring 
me some green tea."

 

    "Of course," he said nervously.

 

    She watched him leave with a smirk on her
face, 
eyeing his rear as he walked away. With a
heavy sigh she turned away and 
frowned. "I suppose
I can behave myself for today."

 

++++++++++

 

    "Aiya! Airen!" cried Shampoo cheerfully as she
jumped 
towards her beloved.

 

    Carrot sighed and sidestepped the glomp,
barely 
managing to avoid it. "Damn, gotta remember
we're not as strong of as fast 
this way."

 

    The young Amazon girl was undaunted as she
turned to 
face them again. "You come to see
Shampoo?"

 

    "Not really no, but you're here," replied the
young 
looking pigtailed boy somewhat pleasantly.
"How ya been?"

 

    "Ranma not come visit Shampoo for long time!
Been 
almost week!" said the girl with a cute
looking frown.

 

    "I don't come here to visit you Shampoo, I'm
just 
checking up on things in general," replied
the boy casually.

 

    "Ranma being unkind to wife!" snapped the
girl.

 

    "You're not my wife, and I do come to see you
and the 
ghoul while I'm here," replied the boy
flatly.

 

    The girl nodded and started walking along side
him. 
"Ranma stay long time today?"

 

    "Only a few hours," replied the boy calmly.
"I'm 
working on something today."

 

    "Oh?" said the girl cheerfully. "What is
working 
on?"

 

    "New technique," said Ranma calmly as he
continued 
towards the Cat Cafe.

 

    "Well, at any rate..." said the boy as he
glanced 
around. "Where is Mousse, he should be
trying to kill me by now."

 

    "Mousse very busy today," said the girl
cheerfully. 
She giggled and bounced towards the
restaurant.

 

    Ranma followed them inside and sat down at one
of the 
tables. Cologne bounced over to him and
stopped cold.

 

    "Son in law?"

 

    Ranma blinked at this and stared at her.
"Huh?"

 

    "You have returned from China? Are you
visiting, or 
has something happened between
yourself and the Musk Prince?" said the old 
woman
as she sat down beside him. "It was unwise for you
to return here. 
The others are not pleased with
you."

 

    "What the heck are you talkin about you old
bat?" 
said Ranma dumbly.

 

    "Don't try to fool me boy, I can read your
aura," 
said the old woman as she eyed him
playfully.

 

    "Actually, I'm not sure what you mean..." the
boy's 
voice trailed off as a realization came over
him. "Oh. That."

 

    Cologne arched her eyebrow and remained
silent.

 

    "You've got the wrong Ranma," said the boy
with a 
chuckle. "I'm working on a new technique,
so my aura is different than 
usual."

 

    "A technique that changes your aura?" said the
woman 
doubtfully. "It must be a very powerful
technique, your ki is much lower 
than..."

 

    "I'm down by a two thirds," said the boy with
a 
shrug.

 

    "Oh?" said the woman as she relaxed a little.

 

    "I suppose there's no harm in telling you," he
said 
calmly. "It's called the Multiform Technique.
There's three of me running 
around town today."

 

    Cologne almost fell out of her chair. "What?"

 

    "I managed to split myself into three 
separate
bodies," said the boy calmly.

 

    "That isn't possible," said Cologne
doubtfully.

 

    "Really? It wasn't very difficult," said the
boy with 
a shrug.

 

    Cologne found herself chuckling despite
herself. "Ah, 
if it were anyone else, I wouldn't
believe it. I can see now that your aura 
is
slightly different now. That could have been done
since the boy left 
for China all those months
ago."

 

    "Naw, it's just me," replied the 
boy
cheerfully.

 

    "If there are three of you, then perhaps we
can work 
something out with my Shampoo..." started
the woman as she set tea out for 
him and herself.

 

    "Ha! Always manipulating?" he said cheerfully.
"Well, 
I still wouldn't do it, but I'm afraid it
wouldn't work out even if I 
did."

 

    "Oh?" asked the old woman as she 
frowned
slightly.

 

    "The technique only lasts about three or four
hours, 
and we aren't sure if there's some sort of
range effect or not," replied 
Ranma as he chuckled
slightly.

 

    "Most interesting, the weakness?" asked the
woman as 
she eyed him carefully.

 

    "It's a side effect. Each of us is weaker than
the 
original by how many copies we make of
ourselves. Three is the most I can do 
at the
moment."

 

    "Ah, I see," replied the woman as she nodded.
"So 
tell me, what brings you to Nerima? Shouldn't
you be working?"

 

    "Took the day off to test out the technique.
There's 
still some things I'm not sure of," he
replied with a shrug.

 

    "Oh?" she prodded.

 

    "Well, the exact amount of time I can do it
for one, 
the range, we're trying that out now, and
how many times I can do it in one 
day."

 

    "I see," said the crone with a short nod. "You
will 
be staying around today?"

 

    "For a few hours, until this wears off
anyway," said 
the boy with a small shrug. "You
still haven't told Shampoo? I'm getting 
tired of
playing Airen for her."

 

    "She isn't ready. I've tried to keep her
distanced 
from you, keeping her too busy to go
looking for you in Juban. I do 
appreciate what
you're doing."

 

    "Well, I suppose it's not hurting anything,"
replied 
Ranma with another shrug. "Still, you need
to work this out."

 

    Cologne sighed and nodded. "Believe me, 
I
understand."

 

    "I'm surprised she hasn't found out on her 
own
though. Kuonji isn't happy with Saotome, and those
Tendo girls 
probably would have told her by now
I'd think."

 

    "It was easy enough to buy silence from 
them,"
replied Cologne with a small smirk. "Kuonji was
the simplest, 
keeping her revenge private was all
I needed. Nabiki Tendo, she requires 
nothing more
than a small donation. Akane has never liked
Shampoo, but 
seems to respect her enough to keep
silent at my request. The two idiots, 
they need
only the knowledge that their plans for reunion
are exclusive to 
Akane Tendo. The Kuno family does
not speak with Shampoo, she tends to avoid 
them.
Mousse is an idiot, and he doesn't know thanks to
you. As for the 
Hibiki boy, his little habit of
making his bed with the Tendo girl..."

 

    "I think I get the picture. These fools are
too easy 
to manipulate, they all have glaring
weaknesses."

 

    "You are correct," agreed Cologne.

 

    "Is he still on about that Shinnosuke boy?"
asked 
Ranma with a slight chuckle.

 

    "Yes, it maddens him to no end," commented
Cologne 
merrily. "Young Akane has been keeping in
regular contact with him through 
letters, she
plans to visit soon. I do not think she will
return from that 
valley when she does go."

 

    Ranma nodded and smirked. "Hibiki's still
losing, 
despite everything?"

 

    "He doesn't seem to understand it," said the
woman. 
"With Ranma out of the picture, he thought
his love was secure. Poor 
creature."

 

    "Poor creature indeed, you can't imagine my
surprise 
when I heard him bellowing 'Shinnosuke!
This is all your fault!' Heh."

 

    "I have been getting a strange feeling
Saotome, that 
you had something to do with that?"
asked Cologne as her eyes twinkled in 
amusement.

 

    "Who? Me?" replied the boy with a knowing grin
on his 
face. "What makes you say that?"

 

    "What indeed?" she said as she turned her head
away 
from him.

 

    "It wasn't too much of a problem really, I
just had 
to fight a dragon, save his worthless
behind, and tattoo 'write Akane a 
letter today' on
the back of his hand." He sighed and hung his
head. "I 
just wish I'd done it as a man. I think
Akane still has a crush on her 
teacher."

 

    "Yes, she is a very confused young woman,"
said the 
hag in amusement.

 

    "Irritatingly so," agreed Ranma flatly.

 

    "So what are your plans for the rest of the
day?" 
asked Cologne as she stood up.

 

    "I was planning on wandering around town a
little. 
I'm really just waiting for my time to be
up."

 

    "I see, well, good luck then," said the old
woman as 
she smiled at him and hopped away.

 

    "Yeah, thanks," muttered Ranma as he stood up
and 
headed for the door.

 

    Shampoo appeared out of the kitchen. "Airen,
you is 
leaving?"

 

    "Yeah. Afraid so, I got some stuff to do
today," he 
replied as he glanced back at her.

 

    "Shampoo come too then!" squealed the girl.

 

    "Sorry Shampoo, I'm just visiting a few
people, I'll 
stop by again if I have time later,
but no promises."

 

    The girl frowned and pouted. "Ranma not being
very 
good husband."

 

    "Whatever, It's personal business Shampoo.
Don't 
worry so much," he said with a small sigh as
he walked out of the 
building.

 

++++++++++

 

    Carrot and Ranma found themselves standing
outside 
the Ucchan a short time later.

 

    "I'm hungry," said Ranma as he looked up at
the store 
sign.

 

    "Well, if you are I am," replied Carrot as 
he
shrugged and walked into the front door.

 

    "You!? How dare you show your face here! 
Die!"
screamed Ukyo.

 

    "You know, this was kinda funny the first ten
times 
it happened Ukyo," said the pigtailed boy
who found himself standing in the 
act of dodging
several small spatulas that were now stuck in 
the
wall.

 

    The girl behind the counter blushed and
relaxed 
suddenly. "Oh, it's you."

 

    "Yeah, me," said the boy a little sourly.
"I'll have 
the usual."

 

    Ukyo nodded and began to prepare his 
meal
silently.

 

    "How are things?" asked Ranma as he leaned
against 
the counter.

 

    "Well enough, you haven't been by in a while,"
said 
the girl with a somewhat cheerful expression
on her face. It didn't look 
forced in the
slightest.

 

    "Yeah, I've been busy. My daughter's falling
behind 
in her schoolwork, and my brother is still
living with me. That useless 
leech."

 

    "Must run in the family," commented the girl
as she 
put the boy's plate in front of him.

 

    "Something like that, I think that gene
skipped me or 
something," he said flatly.

 

    "Whatever," muttered the girl irritably.

 

    "Hey, stop comparing me to him. It's annoying
enough 
as it is," said the boy as he narrowed his
eyes at her.

 

    Ukyo blinked and turned to look at 
him.
"Brother?"

 

    "Yeah, I've got a brother," replied Ranma
calmly as 
he ate.

 

    "Ranma doesn't have a brother," said the girl
in 
disbelief.

 

    "And I'm not Ranma," replied the pigtailed boy
as he 
smirked at her.

 

    "Who is a useless leech?" said a familiar
voice from 
behind Ranma. He found himself face
down on the counter with a wooden staff 
in the
back of his head.

 

    "Who the heck are you?" muttered Ukyo as she
stared 
at the newcomer.

 

    "I am Xellos," replied the man cheerfully.
"I'm this 
fools brother. He doesn't appreciate me
though, obviously." He pulled up a 
chair and sat
down next to Ranma.

 

    "What the hell are you doing here?" snorted
the 
pigtailed boy irritably.

 

    "Just checking up on you and your friends. One
of 
them is babe watching in a shopping center, the
other is getting rather drunk 
in a bar near our
home. Neither one is my idea of an ideal day."

 

    "Figures," muttered the boy flatly.

 

    Ukyo froze and stared at the men for a moment.
"I 
guess I can see it, kinda."

 

    "Creepy isn't it?" asked Xellos.

 

    "Everyone keeps saying that, but we don't 
look
anything alike," grumbled Ranma irritably.

 

    "I guess it's that willing personality we seem
to 
have," said Xellos cheerfully.

 

    "Right," muttered Ukyo.

 

    "In any case, I should probably drop by to see
the 
Tendo family," said the pigtailed boy with a
heavy sigh.

 

    "So they can try to force you into marriage?"

 

    Ranma glared at Xellos and sighed. "They
aren't that 
bad."

 

    "Whatever," muttered Ukyo as she looked away
from the 
pair.

 

    "So how goes the quest for my dear other
self?" said 
Ranma as he cheered up suddenly.

 

    "I've almost got enough saved up," grumbled
Ukyo. 
"I'll get that bastard yet."

 

    "Well, you do that," said the pigtailed boy as
he 
stood up and started towards the door.

 

    "See you around," said Ukyo as he exited.

 

    He gave her an acknowledging wave over his
shoulder 
and continued on his way without a word.

 

    "Aren't you going?" asked Ukyo as she noticed
that 
Xellos had not moved.

 

    "So those two idiots can try to marry me off?
No 
thanks, I'd rather they never found out that
he's got a brother."

 

    Ukyo shook her head and chuckled despite
herself. 
"Well, what can I get you then?"

 

++++++++++++

 

    "Boy!"

 

    "Son!"

 

    "Oh my!"

 

    "Great."

 

    "You! Die!"

 

    The Tendo family, plus one Saotome, greeted
him in 
their usual fashion.

 

    Ranma ducked under the attacking Akane and
sent her 
sprawling across the floor with an
extended leg. He smiled at Kasumi, and 
jumped over
Genma and Soun, only to land in front of Nabiki.

 

    "You know, I almost think you scripted this
stuff," 
muttered the girl as she smirked at him.

 

    "Seems that way at times, I wish they'd stop
this. 
It's annoying."

 

    Ranma turned to face Genma and Soun. "Hiya 
old
guys."

 

    "Boy! It's time you lived up to your
responsibility!" 
cried Genma.

 

    "Yes, my poor Akane is so upset!" agreed Soun.

 

    Ranma looked over to where the youngest was
standing 
and smiled at her. "Hey Akane, how's
Shinnosuke doin?"

 

    The girl blinked in surprise and suddenly
blushed 
heavily. "How would I know?"

 

    "I dunno, he's been writing you right?" said
the boy 
as he looked at her in mock confusion.

 

    "Oh yes!" said Kasumi cheerfully. "In fact,
she 
received a letter from her little friend only
yesterday!"

 

    "Good," said Ranma cheerfully. "I imagine not
much 
has changed in that little part of Japan."

 

    "Not really," grumbled Akane as she turned
away in 
embarrassment.

 

    "Good," said the boy as he sat down on the
floor in 
front of Soun and Genma. "So how's it
hangin old guys?"

 

    "Boy, your family needs you!" snapped Genma as
he 
stood tall in front of him and tried his best
to be intimidating.

 

    "This again?" grumbled the boy as he 
frowned
suddenly. "Man, don't you two ever give up? You'd
think me or 
Akane had some sort of inheritance or
something the way you've been going at 
this."

 

    Both men fell silent and looked at one
another.

 

    "Of course not boy! What would make you think
that?" 
snapped Genma.

 

    "Because I had one, my evil clone killed you
after 
you tried to steal it from him. Too bad, he
rather liked you from what I 
understand."

 

    The men looked at one another for a moment and
fell 
silent again.

 

    "Did you say evil clone?" asked Nabiki 
in
shock.

 

    "Yeah, he was a real asshole. We killed 
him
eventually, but he caused all sorts of trouble,"
said the boy lazily 
as he picked at his ear.

 

    "Um. Ranma doesn't really have an evil clone
does 
he?" asked Akane nervously.

 

    "Huh? I don't think this one does. Well, he
could, 
but only if his mother turned into a
megalomanaical witch over the past ten 
years or
so. He killed her too as I understand it. I don't
know all the 
details, I was busy being dead for
most of that time."

 

    "Dead?" muttered Kasumi.

 

    "Yeah, it kinda sucked. I was in hell, then I
went to 
heaven. It's a long and involved story
that I really don't like getting into 
unless I
have too."

 

    Kasumi blinked and looked at her sisters
before 
sitting down in front of him. "Did you get
to meet Kamisama?"

 

    "Huh? Well, yeah. I was dead after all. I met
Hild 
too, she wasn't all that bad really," replied
the boy.

 

    "You have got to be kidding me," 
muttered
Nabiki.

 

    "So skeptical? Even after everything you've
seen over 
the past year or so?" replied the boy
with an amused looking chuckle.

 

    "Who's Hild?" said Akane dumbly.

 

    "She's the Queen of Hell," said the 
boy
cheerfully.

 

    "Oh my!" gasped Kasumi with a scandalized
looking 
frown.

 

    "Kamisama wasn't near as impressive looking as
she 
was really. It was kind of a let down," said
Ranma with a small shrug.

 

    "What was he like?" asked Kasumi hopefully.
She was 
absolutely enthralled.

 

    "Hmm? Oh, he was nice enough. He's got a
really weird 
sense of humor. I even found out he's
got a boss," said Ranma 
cheerfully.

 

    "Wait a minute," said Nabiki. "Let me get 
this
straight. Kamisama, has a boss?" The look on her
face told him she 
didn't believe a single word of
it.

 

    "Yeah, L-sama. Lord of Chaos or something.
It's a 
really big god that pretty much makes up
the entire universe," said the boy 
cheerfully.
"It's the really big one, even the demons are
under that 
thing."

 

    "Oh my! But, you said it was a god," muttered
Kasumi 
nervously.

 

    "Well, not really. It's more
like...hmmm...more like 
an all-powerful being that
controls both evil and good. It's sort of 
both."

 

    "Ranma, you're so full of crap your eyes are
turning 
brown," said Nabiki.

 

    Outside, thunder rumbled ominously.

 

    Everyone in the room became quiet.

 

    "Okay, how many people in this room have been
dead 
before?" said Ranma as he raised his hand. He
looked around and saw no one 
else with their hand
in the air. "Okay then."

 

    "That doesn't sound very nice," muttered
Kasumi as 
she fretted about it for a moment.

 

    "Huh? Don't worry so much Kasumi. Kami's a
great guy. 
You've got nothing to worry about.
You'd probably like L-sama if you met 
it."

 

    "It?" grumbled Nabiki crossly. "It's not a boy
or a 
girl?"

 

    "Actually, I think it's a little of both.
Mostly male 
though," replied the boy with a shrug.

 

    "You're just being a jerk and showing off!"
snapped 
Akane.

 

    "Why else would I come over here?" replied the
boy as 
he looked at her as if she'd grown a second
head.

 

    "You..." started the girl hatefully.

 

    "What? Calm down and relax. I'm just having a
little 
fun, besides, I'm not lying."

 

    "Do you really think L-sama would like me?"
said 
Kasumi as she looked at the boy.

 

    "Yeah. I'm sure of it," said Ranma cheerfully.
"At 
any rate, those two sure have been quiet." The
boy suddenly realized that 
Soun and Genma hadn't
spoken yet, they were merely sitting in place 
and
staring at him.

 

    Finally, Genma spoke up. "That's enough of
this 
nonsense boy!"

 

    "My son in law is crazy! Waaahhhh!" cried
Soun.

 

    Ranma sighed and stood up. "Idiots."

 

    "Show your father some respect boy!" said
Genma as he 
charged.

 

    Ranma put his palm against the man's chest 
and
casually flipped him aside, sending him into the
koi pond. "I really 
wish he'd stop making me do
that every time I come over."

 

    "So did you just come over here to bother us?"
asked 
Nabiki.

 

    "Huh? Naw. I haven't seen Happosai around
lately," 
said the boy as he looked up at the room.
"This is the third time I've been 
by, and I
haven't seen so much as panty lying around the
floor in this 
place.

 

    "Well, he's avoiding you still," 
replied
Nabiki.

 

    "Still? Man, it's been almost a month now!"

 

    "Well, you did sneak in and turn his head into
a 
'Chia Pet'," said Akane without much heat in her
voice.

 

    "And then there was that time you replaced his
panty 
collection with used men's boxers and jock
straps," pointed out Nabiki.

 

    "Yeah, it was disturbingly easy to find
volunteers 
for that one," replied the boy with a
shudder.

 

    "Don't forget the time he covered all his
panties in 
itching powder," said Kasumi
cheerfully.

 

    "Yeah, his head was beet red for almost two
weeks 
from all the scratching," said Akane as she
seemed to be getting into the 
spirit of things.

 

    "Well, he did keep trying to activate my
curse. I 
just couldn't get it through his skull
that water didn't work anymore." The 
boy shrugged
and turned towards the door. "Oh well. See you
around, I just 
dropped by while I was running a
few errands in town."

 

    "Yeah, see ya," muttered Nabiki as the boy
walked out 
the door.

 

    Akane sat down at the table and sighed again.
She'd 
been in a rotten mood over the past few days
or so.

 

    "What is it?" asked Nabiki.

 

    "Nothing. I'm starting to get worried about
Miss 
Hibiki. She's missed two days now," said the
girl with a slightly frustrated 
frown.

 

    "I'm sure she's fine. She'll probably be in
tomorrow. 
I heard there's some sort of little bug
going around that side of town," said 
Nabiki as
she turned away and looked in the direction Ranma
had walked off 
in.

 

    "Yeah, she's such a great teacher though. I
miss her, 
the substitute just isn't the same,"
said Akane a little too 
emotionally.

 

    "I'm really starting to wonder..." muttered
the older 
girl to herself as she watched her
sister stare out into space for a 
moment.

 

    "Did you say something?" asked Kasumi.

 

    "Huh? No. Just thinking out loud," replied
Nabiki as 
she walked towards her room.

 

+++++++++++++++

 

    Carrot walked into a park, looking for a
deserted 
area. It didn't take long for him to find
a nice quiet corner.

 

    He sighed and sat down, looking up at the sky
as he 
felt the last of the ki holding his body
together fading away. "Well, that 
was interesting
if nothing else."

 

    "Wonder where we'll end up? With Dan or
Xianfu?" 
asked Ranma.

 

    "Who knows?" said Carrot with a shrug of 
his
shoulders.

 

    "It'd be nice if we did," grumbled Ranma.

 

    "Well, that's how things are," replied Carrot.

 

    "Yeah," agreed the boy halfheartedly.

 

    "Ranma!" cried Ryoga Hibiki as he appeared in
front 
of them. "I've found you at last! For what
you've done to Akane, prepare to 
die!"

 

    "Hiya Ryoga," said the pigtailed boy as he sat
up and 
frowned at the lost boy.

 

    "Hiya? Is that all you've got to say to me?"
snarled 
Ryoga.

 

    "I'm not Ranma," said Carrot flatly.

 

    "What? How stupid do you think I am? You
abandoned 
Akane!"

 

    "You're obviously stupid enough to forget
about me," 
said Ranma calmly as he stood up and
dusted his pants off. "Besides, 
Shinnosuke is
Akane's boyfriend, not you."

 

    Ryoga glared at him. "What?"

 

    "You heard me," replied Ranma casually.

 

    "That bastard is not Akane's boyfriend!"
snarled 
Ryoga hatefully.

 

    "Well, in any case, it's none of my business
either 
way," said Ranma as he frowned at the boy.

 

    "Where am I?" asked Ryoga with a 
distasteful
snort.

 

    "A park near the dojo in Nerima," said Ranma
as he 
cheered up a little.

 

    "So, I'm near to Akane?" asked the 
boy
hopefully.

 

    "I'd take you there myself, but I'm waiting
for 
something," said Ranma cheerfully.

 

    "Waiting?" said Ryoga in confusion.

 

    "Yeah, this body should start do vanish in a
minute 
or two," said the pigtailed boy as he
looked at his hands expectantly.

 

    "WHAT?" muttered Ryoga dumbly.

 

    "I'm testing out a new technique," said Ranma.
"Don't 
worry, it's just a side effect. I'll be
fine."

 

    "Oh," muttered the lost boy dumbly.

 

    "Yeah, whatever."

 

    "So, which direction is the Tendo Dojo then?"
asked 
Ryoga.

 

    "The direction you just came from," lied
Ranma.

 

    Ryoga nodded and started walking directly
towards 
it.

 

    "Hey, lucky him," said Carrot cheerfully. He
glanced 
down at his hand and noticed his fingers
were becoming transparent. "Hey. 
It's showtime. We
got about...four hours and five minutes in."

 

    Ranma nodded and they drained the last of
their 
ki.

 

+++++++++++++++++

 

    They found themselves sitting in a small 
cafe,
staring obsessively at someone's rear.

 

    "Gah!" cried Carrot in shock as he quickly
jerked 
their head away.

 

    "Hey! I was watching that!" said 
Xianfu
irritably.

 

    "Obviously," grumbled Ranma.

 

    "Hey guys," said Dan as he appeared as well.
"We 
might not want to stand up for a minute or
two."

 

    "Huh?" said Carrot as he ignored the advice
and 
immediately stumbled over their chair. "What
the hell?"

 

    "We got a little carried away," muttered 
Dan
sheepishly.

 

    "What the hell did you do to us?" cried Ranma
in 
shock.

 

    "We're drunk," said Carrot irritably. "Sit
down again 
for a minute. We've got a lot of added
mass now, it shouldn't last 
long."

 

    "So, how was your day?" asked Xianfu.

 

    "Fine," said Carrot with a shrug. "We spent
the day 
in Nerima."

 

    "I thought you said no fighting," snorted Dan.

 

    "We didn't get into one all day," said Ranma.

 

    "Good," said Xianfu coldly.

 

    "How about you guys?" asked Carrot.

 

    "Huh? We spent all day in a bar," said 
Dan
cheerfully.

 

    "I spent most of my day wandering around this
area," 
said Xianfu.

 

    "Well, I suppose we should go home then," said
Carrot 
as he stood them up. The were a little
light headed, but the group of them 
was able to
keep them somewhat coordinated despite their
drunken 
state.

 

++++++++++++++

 

    The arrived home about an hour later and
looked down 
at Usagi irritably. "What?"

 

    "You've been gone all day?" she asked her
mother with 
a frown on her face.

 

    "Yeah? What of it?" snorted Yohiko.

 

    The girl sighed and watched as her mother
slowly 
lowered herself into an armchair. "I'm not
moving from this spot for a very 
long time Usagi.
Please don't bother me."

 

    The girl shrugged and walked into the hallway.

 

+++++++++++

 

    "Your performance was less than admirable,"
said 
Yotsuya as he glared at Yusaku. They were
sitting in the remains of his room. 
The boy still
had a somewhat dazed look about him.

 

    "Shut up, you're just mad she wouldn't let 
you
watch," said the boy as he glared at the man.

 

    "That has nothing to do with my objective
opinion," 
said the man as he turned away.

 

    "So Godai finally got lucky," said Itchinose
as she 
took a drag off of her cigarette and looked
at the remains of the wall for a 
moment.

 

    "I dunno if I'd call that lucky," 
commented
Akemi.

 

    "She seemed pretty upset," said Itchinose.

 

    Both women glared at Yusaku for a moment.

 

    "Hey! I didn't, I mean, she came...I um...It's
not 
like that! She made me do it!" cried the boy.

 

    Usagi appeared in the doorway and sighed at
the hole. 
"Well, I'm not sure what to say."

 

    "Usagi!" cried the man as he fell at her feet.
"Is 
she still angry? Tell her I'm sorry!"

 

    "I'm not really sure. She hasn't said anything
about 
it," said the girl with a shrug. "She was
pretty upset though."

 

    "Damn!" muttered the boy as he looked away
from her. 
"I've got to do something! Help me! I'll
do anything!"

 

    Usagi sighed and sat down. "Look, I heard
about what 
happened from Yotsuya, I'm not mad at
you. I don't think she's too angry with 
you
either. She seems more upset with herself about
it. But..."

 

    "But?" muttered Yusaku in horror.

 

    "I'm not sure if there's anything you can do.
I've 
never seen her this upset about something,"
said the girl with a small sigh. 
"I think you blew
it Yusaku, sorry."

 

    "Nooooo!" cried the boy in horror. He fell
face first 
into the floor and did not move.

 

    "He took that remarkably well," 
commented
Akemi.

 

    "Indeed," agreed Itchinose as she took another
drag 
off of her cigarette.

 

    Usagi sat down and sighed.

 

    "Now, on to this mysterious Xellos," 
said
Yotsuya.

 

    Everyone turned to look at Usagi.

 

    "What? How many times do I gotta tell you?
Don't look 
at me that way! I can't ruin his fun
like that, he'll be angry if I do. You 
don't want
him angry at you."

 

    "Why not?" asked Akemi with a slightly 
worried
looking frown.

 

    "He gets this really disgustingly cute look on
his 
face. It's so pathetic it's horrible! Then
he'll start doing things. Like one 
time, I got him
mad, so he froze all my panties, and then put them
back in 
my drawer right before I woke up. Then
later, he filled my shampoo bottle 
with shaving
cream. After that, he made curry flavored waffles
for 
breakfast..."

 

    "How diabolical," said Yotsuya in horror.

 

    "Yeah, tell me about it. You're just gonna
have to 
figure him out on your own," agreed the
girl.

 

+++++++++++

 

    Carrot and the others sat around in the
bedroom 
calmly. They were all looking at one
another. Dan and Pissant were wearing a 
black
leather jacket and shades, while Carrot and Ranma
looked exactly the 
same, but without the jacket or
shades. Xianfu was the only one currently 
in
female form and she glared at her companions.

 

    "So, roughly twice a day fully charged," said
Carrot 
calmly.

 

    "This is the third time," said Dan calmly.

 

    "We probably only got about two hour's worth
in this 
one," said Ranma calmly. "Besides, we
don't need to be doin this stuff all 
the time."

 

    "What?" said Xianfu angrily.

 

    "He's right, we're weak afterwards. We're 
just
testing the limits. I suggest we keep it down to
maybe once a day, 
and we don't have to go for all
four hours either. Think of it as sort 
of
borrowing the car from mom or dad. Go out, get
what you need, and come 
back." Carrot smirked at
the looks on the other's faces.

 

    Dan sighed and shrugged his shoulders.
"Whatever. I 
can live with that."

 

    "Well, I was hoping for a little more than
that," 
grumbled Xianfu irritably. "But..."

 

    "Well you can stop complaining right now
bitch!" 
snarled Ranma as he jumped up and glared
at her hatefully.

 

    Dan arched his eyebrow at this and snorted.

 

    "The hell! Look you jerk..." snapped the woman
in 
retort.

 

    "This is all your fault! Just cause you 
whine
and..."

 

    "Asshole! Do you have any idea what I was
going 
through?" snarled Xianfu as she stuck her
face into the pigtailed man's. 
Their foreheads
touched together as they glared at each other.

 

    "Brother," muttered Dan irritably.

 

    "Yes I do thanks to you bitch! I ought to kill
you 
for that!" snapped Ranma hatefully.

 

    "Just try it!" snarled Xianfu.

 

    "You're on!" retorted Ranma as he shoved her
back and 
tackled her onto the floor.

 

    Dan stood up and paused suddenly as he saw
Usagi 
standing in the doorway watching the scene
in shock.

 

    He looked at the ground and then back at the
girl 
again.

 

    "Asshole!"

 

    "Bitch!"

 

    "Hey kid," he said as he walked up next to her
and 
leaned against the wall.

 

    "Mom!" cried the girl in alarm as the shock
finally 
wore off.

 

    "Don't worry about those two, they're always
like 
this," said Dan calmly.

 

    "Always? Who are you?" said Usagi as she
backed away 
from him and looked at the fight with
an uncertain frown. "Mom!" she started 
forward to
help her mother but found a restraining hand on
her 
shoulder.

 

    "She'll be angry if you butt in on her fight
kid," 
said Dan calmly.

 

    Usagi blinked and looked up at him again. "Who
are 
you?" She looked somewhat frightened.

 

    Xellos walked into the room and smiled warmly.
"Ah, 
just like old times eh, Dan?"

 

    "Yeah, I suppose so," said the man at Usagi's
side 
with a sly looking grin on his face.

 

    Carrot and Xianfu were clutching at each
other's 
throats and rolling around on the ground
while kicking at each other. It 
wasn't even close
to a martial arts match. "Uncle Xellos? You know
these 
people?"

 

    "Of course, they trained under my father with
your 
mother to learn Martial arts. Carrot and
Yohiko are old...friends..." said 
the man
cheerfully. He looked somewhat uncertain at that
last part.

 

    "He's trying to kill her!" cried Usagi as she
pointed 
at them and froze. A deep blush covered
her face as she noticed they were no 
longer trying
to kill each other, but were locked in a rather
passionate, 
if somewhat violent, looking embrace.
"Oh my!"

 

    "Heh, come on kid," said Dan as he pulled her
and 
Xellos out of the room and left the pair
alone.

 

+++++++++++++

 

    Usagi blinked as she looked at the man and
frowned. 
"You trained with my mother in martial
arts?"

 

    "That's right," said Dan with a small nod. He
smirked 
to himself at the irony, it wasn't really
a lie.

 

    "So, how come you never visited?" asked the
girl as 
she frowned at them.

 

    "What? You saw what Carrot and Yohiko are
like," said 
Dan. "She was married, and she'd given
up the art too. We'd heard she'd 
picked it up
again and decided to stop by and see her."

 

    "How did you know?" asked Usagi.

 

    "I told them," said Xellos as he sipped at a
small 
cup of tea.

 

    "Oh," replied the girl as she frowned and
turned her 
head slightly at some of the noises
that were coming out of the room. She was 
blushing
quite badly when she turned back.

 

    "Man, I been hangin around Carrot too long,"
thought 
Dan to himself.

 

    "I'm surprised you were able to think all that
up so 
quickly," agreed Pissant.

 

    "Shaddap," grumbled Dan in his mind.

 

    "Well, I think it's time we got some sleep,"
said 
Xellos as he stood up and pat Usagi on the
shoulder. "We've got things to 
do."

 

    The girl nodded and stood up to go to her
room.

 

    Dan sighed and relaxed as he sat back in 
his
chair.

 

++++++++++++

 

    Xellos smiled at Usagi and looked at the wall
next to 
them as it began to shake rather
violently. "Um, perhaps it would be best if 
you
went out for a while. We both know you aren't
getting any sleep 
with...ahem...all this going on
around here."

 

    The girl blushed deeply and grinned at him.
"Yeah. 
Thanks Uncle Xellos."

 

    "Come back in a few hours or so," said the man
as he 
walked out and left her alone.

 

    Usagi nodded and stepped out of her window as
her 
clothes transformed.

 

++++++++++++

 

    A short time later she found herself jumping
across 
rooftops with a huge grin on her face. "I'm
gonna have to meet this Carrot 
later. If Mom likes
him this much, he might be just what I need to get
her 
over Dad!"

 

    She landed in the middle of a small abandoned
lot and 
blinked in surprise. A small tent was set
up, with a familiar figure sitting 
in front of it
with a pot of water boiling in front of him. He
poured the 
water into his cup of ramen and set it
down to cook.

 

    "Ryoga?" she said out loud.

 

    The boy jumped to his feet and blinked in
surprise. 
"Sailor Moon?"

 

    "Hey, it is you," she said as she walked over
to him 
and smiled. "You know, this is the first
time we've met when something wasn't 
trying to
kill me."

 

    "Um, yeah," replied the boy.

 

    "What are you doing out here?" she asked him
as she 
noticed his tent.

 

    "My house is pretty far away from here," he
muttered 
under his breath as he looked at the
tent. "It's just easier this way."

 

    "Oh," said the girl as she looked at his
campsite and 
smiled. "Nice tent."

 

    Ryoga blushed and quickly covered his crotch
as he 
sat back down again and leaned over the
fire. "Um, sit down if you'd like," 
he muttered
nervously.

 

    Usagi did, right next to him as opposed to
opposite 
the fire where he had indicated. Ryoga
was sweating bullets.

 

    "Are you hungry? I made some...um..." he
turned his 
head and noticed her staring directly
at him.

 

    "No thanks, I already ate," said the girl as
she 
smiled at him. She turned her head up at the
sky and leaned back in her seat. 
This put her
breasts at Ryoga's eye level, and he found himself
unable to 
move. "It sure is pretty out here," she
commented while looking up at the 
stars.

 

    "Yeah, um...pretty..." he muttered as he
finally 
managed to tear his eyes away from her
chest and look at his cup of noodles. 
He blinked
as he saw a spot of red appear on his hand. "No!
Not now!" His 
mind screamed as he desperately
plugged his nose with a tissue he pulled from 
his
pocket.

 

    "Are you all right?" said Usagi as she moved
in front 
of him and forced him to tilt his head
back. Not before he managed to get an 
eyeful of
her skintight uniform as she practically shoved it
into his face 
without realizing it.

 

    "I just feel a little light headed," he
muttered 
pathetically.

 

    "Oh my! You should lie down!" said the girl as
she 
grabbed the blanket he had set out and forced
him to lay on top of it.

 

    "Are you hurt? What happened?" said the girl
with a 
worried look in her face as she took his
hand away from his nose and applied 
pressure to
the wound.

 

    "It's nothing, just..." he muttered weakly.
"My god! 
I'm gonna pass out again," he said as he
tried to sit up and move away from 
him.

 

    In his flailing, he accidentally grabbed her
chest 
and froze with his hand there as he realized
what he'd done. "I...I'm sorry! 
I didn't mean
too...I mean...I..."

 

    Usagi looked slightly irritated for a moment
and 
gently grabbed his hand. She sighed and shook
her head. "You're not doing it 
right."

 

    Ryoga went white as a sheet as she pressed his
hand 
against her chest and slowly leaned forward
to kiss him.

 

+++++++++++++

 

    TBC...

 

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! I am so sick and evil!
Heh. 
Anyway, this is going towards something, so
don't worry... Next time: Vahn's 
Revenge!

 

 

 

Perfect Carrot- Consuming the universe, one Aspect at a time.


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