And this is from far back as well:

Saturday 11:10 a.m.
Children in the park emitting squeals of delight while at play. The

banging,

clanging, and shouting of construction workers rebuilding yet another
monster-
ravaged city block.

The Hikawa Shrine was particular

'particular' or 'peculiar'

 in the thick of this reconstruction, as it

usually is.

was

The shrine served as a place of gathering for prayer, a heaven

for
those who would seek a sense of peace, and a unusually

an unusually

At current,

Currently (drop 'at')


 she and her friends were in her room, which was a bit cramped

for all of them. A closer look would indicate to anyone with a special eye
that
this was actually too big a convenience that all five girls present had
incredible
resemblance to the Sailor Senshi. They were strewn about the room in no
specific
manner other than a relaxed one:

Your prose seems a bit off. Something about the sentence structure.

"I haven' t seen her in years, though we do keep in some contact.
She's your basic friendly kind of person. She was a bit boy crazy, but too
shy
to really do anything about it. Didn't help her much with that one time

she

got
her dress tangled in front of this guy that she had a crush on."

Sounds like Yohko

Once the laughter died down, Rei continued. "Well, the last letter I
received
from her basically said she was still having guy trouble,

As in most of them turn out to be possessed, or die, or are just using her
for their own ends.

Yohko Mano was usually not a person you could say that was 'that kind
of girl.' Even with as driven toward the opposite sex as her mother was,

she

often
exhibited a stronger will about the male half of the species. For her, the
limit
is reached

was reached

 > thrown

from his person at some time before this introduction. He also had arms

that

looked time-crafted, with strong, soft hands that were currently wrapped
around
the girl. Add the equally crafted legs, wonderful, almost Fabio-like face,
and
great butt, and you have something that gives you a picture of Yohko, for
once,
deciding to take on the hands on approach.

Hmm. Sounds like a set up.

And hands on it was; hands on his chest, tracing across his washboard
stomach,
then back up to his chin, where she drew him into a deep, hungry kiss.

They

both
sat there in that romantic and steamy setting like that, then drew apart
from
each other. Yohko, still entranced from the kiss, hardly registered it

when

her
partner guided her to lye

lie

[Why not?] she thought with satisfaction. [All other thoughts be damned; I
earned this.] With that said, she awaited her 'reward' from her partner

with

anxious anticipation.

Imagine her surprise and shock when he pulled out a rather massive wooden
mallet,
and took a swing at her head, effectively and abruptly ending her lovely
dream.

Hehehehe. Very nice.

"Hey!" Yohko sat stunned upon recognition. "You again! I already told you

I

don't want any part of you silly harem you

harem, you

and it began to roll out of the station. She sighed. It was all a game of
patience
now. She would soon see her friend, and things would seem normal again.

Heh

She stewed on that line of thought for a moment. On the term of normal,

her

current lifestyle was anything but normal. Being a resident devil hunter

had

no
benefits in anything along the lines of a social life. Her friend Chi was
more
concerned with temporary diets and managing her career at the moment,

Azusa

acted
more as a

like a

Rei Hino sat at a bench at the Juuban Transit Station, fuming at the state
of
human intelligence for the twentieth time.  She was uncomfortable, a silly
little bellboy that frequented her area of presence was constantly

starring

staring

With a giggle of glee, Souichi pulled out the last raisin in the piece of
bread,
and lay it beside it's brothers on the plate. It wasn't that he hated the
little
buggers, simply that he did not like raisin bread to an near fanatic

degree.

He'd
have to reprimand Kaolinite later for purchasing it.

Heh

"Well, he doesn't have much time for relationships here with his duties,"
The
priest allowed a smile to grace his lips. "But I'll be sure to ask him for
you."

Yohko blushed. "Ah, that's okay Grandpa.

okay, Grandpa.

Usagi and Yohko shrunk back from the flames surrounding the temple girl.
"Scary..." they said in unison.

Heh

The girls were at the temple steps when they heard it. Rei was the first

to

turn,
and her face froze

frozen

Rei and Usagi both looked at the girl in confusion. What was she

expecting,

"Daimon?" The three girls said in unison.

"Yes, Daimon! And this is why!" With a quick spin of the staff, the girls
were
assaulted with a hail of leaves.

Uh oh. They're being assailed with yardwork

Nice work. A bit choppy, but overall, nice.

D.B. Sommer


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