In a message dated 10/10/2001 10:32:26 AM US Mountain Standard Time,
Thermopyle@tds.net writes:
"Ummmm," Chibiusa voiced aloud, looking up and trying to
> > figure out who was speaking, "who
>
> Who
Actually, isn't it right as it is? The dialogue should read as "Ummmm,
who...", right? There is no period in the dialogue tag, so the 'who' isn't
the beginning of a new sentance but a continuation of the original one, and
as such should be lower-case.
Thanks for correcting that. ^_^
Heh, glad you did this c&c, I never read it when the chapter was originally
sent to the list, thought it was yet another stupid SI, but the parts you
commented on got me interested. It's funny and if done well the story
could
Isn't that the way it always is? We're so pressed for time that we skip
over potentially fascinating and hilarious material.
(I skim through everything. Sometimes I find something really interesting,
but only occasionally am I so impressed as to comment on it. It doesn't
mean that what I didn't comment on, I didn't like. It simply means that I'm
just as pressed for time as the rest of you. ^_^)
poke a lot of fun at the SM series in a more interesting way than usual,
especially when Chibi-Usa's personality starts to change through being
exposed to such, um, colorful characters. :)
Personality changes are unavoidable. :)
The story will simply have to evolve for us to find out what the results are.
I don't know what's going to happen yet. If I did, my prereader(s) would
be the first people to know.
For some reason the image of Chibi-Usa kicking Tux-boy in the nuts and
calling him a pedophile just appeals to me. Especially if the other senshi
are about, since it would raise the question of how Chibi-Usa would KNOW
that he's a pedophile. Once they started wondering about that, well, even
Usagi would be beating on him at that point. "How could you?!? Your own
daughter!", etc.
They do seem to overreact at the slightest hints of anything weird or wrong,
don't they? Could work, but it'll need an added 'kick' to it...
And some of us don't like Mamoru. True. ^_^
The story will simply have to evolve for us to know how it'll go. The
experiment could easily fail...
But... it's been two months since the first chapter was sent to the list.
To top that off, only now am I getting public commentary on it. ^_^
And it seems like such a short time ago, too...
Will we ever see another? *prods BoredCollective with a sharp spoon*
ArbyFish(grabs the spoon): Thank'you, sir! (flutters off)
Well, if there's that big of a demand for it, I will continue to write more.
Continue to show support; it's what keeps me going.
But keep in mind that I have some other projects I'm working on besides
it, including: Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow!!, Going at it Like Rabbits!!! and
this weird Sailor Moon semi-reversal thing I've come up with but haven't
released yet.
I'm swamped. ^_^
Plus, good writing takes time. Or random inspiration. Or both.
Again, thanks for responding. I'm working on everything, but
it takes time. I canna change the laws a' fanfics, Cap'n! ^_^
-------------------------------
Benjamin A. Oliver
boredcollective@aol.com
"We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
Your humor will adapt to entertain us.
Resistance is and always has been: Futile."
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