And moving on:

As usual, used most of the grammar comments.

This took me longer to finish that I thought. No prereaders this time,
so
there should be plenty more mistakes to correct.

$Oh, good.  Something for me to actually do while I read.

Always eager for the input.

The Cat That Danced With Death

$Which has nothing to do with the Bush song, Disease of the Dancing
Cats.

Correct. Actually, this really doesn't have anything to do with actual cats
either. It's just a slang term being used.

bun on
top of her head, was now shot with streaks of gray that were increasing
their numbers of late. Her face held lines of time that, even with
generous
amounts of make-up, were difficult to hide.

$Although, the caked on makeup did horrible things to her complexion.
He occasionally joked that she couldn't be very old if she was still
suffering from acne.

That would have earned him a blunt object to the head.

to
that. Despite the fact she still taught that art, her body continued to
slowly relinquish ground to the effects of the relentless twin banes of
humanity: age and gravity. Both had extracted their price.

$In other words, you had to look at her waist to see her breasts.

No. Not that bad. Not a young hot body either, though.

And to him, they didn't matter in the slightest. Twenty years of
marriage,
and he still genuflected in her presence. Perhaps she took his
attentions
for granted, or possibly she did not notice them at all -she could be
painfully blind sometimes-

$Shouldn't that be set apart with commas instead?

Think the lines work better.

than two decades. Other men, like Sano and Yahiko might have eyes (and
only
their eyes) that strayed from their spouses, but he did not. No other
women
existed as far as he was concerned.

$He denies reality to the point even Kuno would be proud.

Heh.

"Oww!" Kenshin Himura hissed as he accepted Kaoru's admonishment. It
seemed
he had been too deeply lost in his thoughts for his own good.

$A condition common to most men.

True. Of course, to some women, if we don't think about them constantly, we
too deeply lost in our thoughts.

Adjusting the packages he carried, he freed up a hand and placed it
behind
his head. "Because I need to do something to pay for my way since I'm
still
freeloading from you even after all this time?"

$He never bothered to get a job?  Odd.

He just helped out around the old homestead and did odd jobs. Teaching is
lucrative for them.

Kenshin shifted the packages again so that they were held in front of
him
with both hands. Shopping in the market was an effort the required a
fair
amount of skill. It was always crowded during this time of day, and of
late
they restricted their shopping to once a week, which meant twice as many
packages as most men could manage.

$Are they buying that much every time?  I think you should mention that
this trip was special, then explain why later, as you already did.

Hmm. Thought I did. Will look it over again.

explain the heavy traffic. Whatever the cause, it made moving from stall
to
stall difficult, even for Kenshin, and he had to keep a careful step
lest
even he be bowled over by an errant body.

$Did he ever gain any size?

No. He was late twenties when the tv series started, so I figure he was
fully grown.

fireworks to celebrate, and end up blowing the one of the walls of the
dojo
into kindling. And we will definitely keep a closer eye on Hiro and
prevent
him from peeking on your sisters when they're taking baths."

$He was just trying to judge the earlier argument between them.
Impartial third party, you know.

True. Hiro is a thoughtful child.

somewhat
benign to the untrained eye, and it wasn't in his nature to haggle over
things.

$Heh, I just got a mental image of Kenshin in Monty Python's The Life
of Brian, trying to buy a beard.

Don't do that. Suggestions like that keep making fics in my mind and I end
up lamenting not having the time to do them. Now I might have to do that one
of these days.:)

followed by a woman's scream that split the air, silencing everyone for
one
brief moment. But the moment passed and the crowds recovered from the
surprise, talking more loudly than ever about what they had just heard.

$Nicely accurate description of the crowd's reaction.

Thanks. Tried to keep it brief, but accurate.

As one, Kenshin and Kaoru headed towards the commotion to see if they
could
help. It was a struggle to move through the press of crowds, which
doubled
as people moved in the same direction, as many trying to get closer out
of
general curiosity as a desire to help.

$more trying to get closer out of general curiousity than any desire to
help.

Ordinarily I don't like to be that cynical, but since it takes care of my
excessive 'as' problem, I'll do it.

 Only a slight crinkle at the corner of
his eyes and a grim frown on his brow served as his reaction to the
sight.

$On his brow?  Generally people frown with their mouths.

Oops. Heh. Right.

Kenshin forced his eyes to tear away from the body of the man, looking
for
another he knew would be close at hand. Sure enough, standing behind
several
of the people at the opposite side of the circle, Kenshin recognized the
gaunt stranger. Perhaps before he had been unaware of the Battousai's
presence, but no longer; his unblinking eyes were clearly pointed at
Kenshin, the slender man's piercing gaze seeming to bore right through
him.

$Was it enough forshadowing, d'y'think?

Right. Have cut a lot out of it. Hopefully will be better now.

would refrain from trying anything violent, though the presence of the
masses had not prevented the fat man's death. No one was saying the word
'murder,' but rather they used the term 'accident.' It seemed only
Kenshin
knew better, and he had witnessed nothing.

$It was about here that I started suspecting that this was Shinigame,
or maybe that other skinny guy associated with death.  I forget his
name.

Haven't gotten that far in teh series yet. intend to, one of these days.

formed of porcelain, not flaring in the slightest, as though he could
not be
bothered with breathing. Never had Kenshin seen anyone so devoid of even
the
faintest hint of feeling. What was before him was more like an automaton
than a man...

$Would Kenshin know about automatons?

Good point. Have since changed to 'statue'

struggle. It was unfair, but of the many lessons as he had learned
throughout his travels, one of the foremost was that life was most
assuredly
unfair.

$Death, however, is fair to everyone.

True. It's the ulitmate in non-discrimination.

disturbed
by the sight. Her strength would be needed more than ever before in
their
lives if his suspicions were accurate, and with each passing step he
became
more certain they were.

$Which means, of course, that he's wrong and it's Kaoru that's gonna
kick the bucket.  I'd like to see how the rewrite of this went.

Sent it to the list.

Kenshin marked the protest as weak. Between the headache and the man's
death, Kaoru had seemed to grow more faint the nearer they drew to their
home. Now she had a ghostly pallor, and was obviously straining to
remain
standing. Did she sense what was to come too, on some similar level? Was
this her reaction for what was to come?

$Yeah, it's just too obvious.

Oui. Completely cut.

kiss was the least she deserved. Had she felt better and they had more
time,
perhaps he would have made love to her, despite the fact it was the
middle
of the day, but neither was the case.

$Kaoru: Aww, not now honey.  I have a headache.

Heh. Someone else said the same thing.

His older son, Hiro was at a friend's house. He had no idea where Yoshi
currently was. Perhaps he was cleaning out storeroom, another one of his
chores he had been given while Kenshin and Kaoru had been shopping. He
hoped
his son would not witness what was to come, though in truth he had no
idea
of how the upcoming conflict would appear to another person's eyes.

$A really wild, really realistic kata, probably.

Heh. I leave it ambiguous. I think it's better that way in this case.

 He did
not know what form the struggle would take, or even if there would be
one.
But in any case, it would be for the best if Yoshi saw nothing. No child
should be forced to witness what was to come.

$Kids need to learn about death early, IMO.

Yeah, but not by watching a parent keel over before their eyes.

that buried everything under a veil of pristine innocence. It was an
illusion, of course, all the dirty things were still there, but it was
an
illusion he had enjoyed throughout his life.

Save when bright red blood was spilled on top of it.

$Don't eat the cherry sno-cones.

_<

"I cannot be defeated," the man told him.

$And besides, I'm not here for you.  I have really come for Goldie,
your son's pet goldfish.

Kenshin: NOOOOO! I won't let you take that fish! It's my favorite! Now
you've gone too far and will pay.

lost

meaning as a hundred strikes became five hundred, and then more. The
Battousai switched from speed to strength to solely relying on skill,
and
still his opponent effortlessly countered everything, never a reaction
in
his face. It felt like Kenshin was fighting a statue. The man did not
even
break into a sweat!

$Well, he IS dead.  Sorta.

Yep. Makes guessing hard, in many ways.

now sailed high above his head. Had the man so chosen, he could have
ended
Kenshin's life at any moment, but still he refrained from unleashing
even
the most meager of offenses, impossibly content at remaining passive in
their duel.

$Of course.  He needn't do the deed himself, mearly be present for it.

True. At least in a non-metaphysical sense.

the
price of survival? Against another opponent, probably not. He was
willing to
die for his ideals under those circumstances, but against the being that
stood before him now, could he even kill him with a sword at all?

$Given time, even death may die.

Oh? Are you sure?

ground. Both warrior and weapon lay unmoving long after they struck.

The Hitokiri Battousai, Kenshin Himura, had been defeated without a mark
on
him.

$There's always someone better.

Yep. A theme I've used on more than one occasion.

As Kenshin lay there, he could have sworn the ground grew colder, and
subsequently transferred that cold into him.

$I'll leave the physics nitpicks out of this.

Thanks. I think it's for the best. :)

Yoshi nudged his father with his foot.

$Foolish child!  You're supposed to poke them with a stick, not your
foot!

Heh. That will be Heero Yui's advice to his daughter in 'Yardwork'. About
time I did GundamWing. :)

"I'm just glad I can do this to you. Oh, Son, you have no idea of how
good
it is to hug you." Kenshin felt like crying.

$And thus we see how Soun became what he was.

^_^

So who wasn't?

"KAORU!" Kenshin roared.

$Not the quickest mind in the room, is he?

Nope. Not that it would have made a difference.

this
day was coming long before Kenshin had. Kaoru's diagnosis had been the
worst
she had ever delivered in her life. "She died in her sleep. It happened
quickly and painlessly."

$When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather, quickly, in my sleep,
not screaming in terror like the other passengers in his car.

I want to die around the age of 100 in a hot tub full of Jello with two
supermodels and . Most likely what I'llget is to  die in my sleep alone in
bed, though.

wanted to witness it almost more than anything. Now, with the snowfall
before him, it seemed hollow and empty. Just frozen water with no
special
significance at all. Completely pointless.

$And cold.

Kenshin: Right. Almost forgot that bit.

"Useless thing," he muttered, tossing the two pieces away. It had been a
silly thought, really. A sword was a poor choice of tool for staving off
death, even a reversed one.

$Although, he did get to fulfill many a hero's dream of actually
fighting death on a battlefeild they could understand for the life of
their love.

Yeah, but he lost. I don't think that's usually part of the dream.

life to
the fullest, while for just one hour a day, he would remember the past
and
see if his old acquaintance would drop by for a visit again, and this
time
intent on meeting him instead of another.

$Yes, but should he forget him?

Nope.

was as
energetic as her father or mother, sometimes even more lively, but not
today. For the first time in her short memory, he looked old.

$It's never fun to suddenly realise that someone you know is old.

True.

"But how come?"

"I'm waiting for an old acquaintance to drop by."

$Well, he didn't forget.

Nope.

"Uncle Sano?"

"No. Someone else. He came by twenty years ago this day. I offered to
dance
with him, and we did."

"You danced with a man? I thought only girls could dance with boys."

$Yes, but your Grandfather is silly, and just a little funny.

Hehehehe. Now that's evil.

"It wasn't that sort of dance. It was one with steel and sweat. I led,
but
he outlasted me. In the end, he chose to dance with a different partner.

$That's the sort of metaphorical double talk that confused the hell out
of me as a child.

Luckily Mitsune is taking everything literraly and thinks she understands.

share it with Tomo and Seiji. They were her brothers, after all, and she
should be nicer to them, just like their grandfather was. If he could be
patient with them, then she could too, no matter how irritating they
could
be.

She thought he would have approved.

$Gee, that's a rather extreme way to teach the concept of sharing.

Kids are hard to teach, though. :)

I think that just about does it for my ramblings. Ciao


$Pretty good, if a bit somber for my tastes.  Was damned difficult to
think of cute comments to throw in.  The foreshadowing issue has already
been delt with by people far more qualified than I, so I'll assume
you've taken care of it.

So, what's next on the list?

Uncertain of order, but it will be something like 'Yardwork (featuring Heero
Yui)' A humor piece directed at Gundam Wing. A Dual! fic (with a lemon
scene) whose title remains uncertain at this point, but I'm leaning to
'Gestalt'. A piece on giving and getting C+C (or at least my observations on
it), and maybe a character datafile for Quantum Destinies. And I'm doing a
private work that probably won't end up on this list. Not sure which will be
next, but it will probably be one of those. At least after I do some more
C+C on some of my backlog. One day I might even catch up on it.

Thanks for the C+C. As usual very entertaining and useful. I really
appreciate it. Don't see too many RK fics on here, so I didn't know how this
would be received, but I'm satisfied with the useful responses.

D.B. Sommer

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