I'm pulling an Adrian Tymes here:

I feel so honored.  ^_^

Ah, that you think everyone in Nerima should be under mind-altering
pills? ^_^

Jadeite finally gave in, finding some dark alley to stagger into before
letting his maniacal laughter out.  It was so *EASY*: just spike the
water supply, keep the local martial artists mad at each other, and he
didn't even have to extract any energy.  They willingly pushed it from
their bodies!  Just standing in the way of a few blasts - which, no
matter what the appearance he gave, did not hurt him one bit - gave him
as much energy as any two of those youmas gathered - and, inevitably,
lost upon death.  Let the other three generals deal with those
miserable Sailors.  Beryl was most pleased at his progress, and so far
had bought his notion that it would take all three of his "allies" to
pin the Sailors down in Juuban, leaving Nerima ripe for the harvesting.

******

"Yo, Happi."  Ranma took a quick look to make sure no one was around,
then bared her breasts.  "Whatcha waiting for?"

Happousai looked at her, eyes full of obvious desire...then fatigue, as
he pulled his sight from her chest.  "You'd just dodge.  I need to
conserve what energy I have."

"You're faster than me.  Go on, I know you can squeeze my tits before I
can get 'em away from you."

"Ranma..."  The old one closed his eyes when he saw Ranma moving to
stay in his view.  "*Please*.  Just...go away."

"Alright, old man.  But first you're gonna tell me what's going on.  No
one's got any fight left, aside from Akane.  I know Hiroshi and
Daisuke are nowhere near the rest of us, but they just pushed Ryoga
outta the way like he was nothing.  Ryo could barely stand up!"

"Genma never did tell you, did he?"

"Tell me what?"

"Ranma...when Genma and Soun engaged you to Akane, they were not as
drunk as they let on.  You and she are the result of special breeding
and training that none of us have dared talk about...until now that
it's too late to hide."

"I assume you can prove this."

"Tell Nodoka I told you of this, and she can provide all the family
records you want.  Kasumi, too.  It's about ki, you see: if everyone
could wield what you and Akane do naturally, humanity would be better
off...we hope."

"Whatcha mean, 'if'?  Half the people I meet *do*...until today."

"Exactly."  Happosai sat down, getting visibly weaker with each
passing moment.  "But we took drugs, herbs, special treatments to draw
our ki from the world around us.  We thought it was far more plentiful,
or perhaps we lost all track of how fast we were using it...but we knew
this day would come.  Just not this soon."

"Whoa, hold on, old man."  Ranma pressed a hand to his forehead, then
to his neck.  "Maybe you'd better stop there.  I need to get you to a
hospital."

"No time...and even if you did, there's nothing they could do for me
now.  Rnama...the drugs we took, there's a gene to produce them.  You
and Akane possess that gene.  Your children will possess it...and if
we're right, it'll modify its opposite in children of those with two
copies, so all their descendants will possess it."

Ranma blinked, uncomprehending, as Happosai went limp.  She quickly
picked him up and stuffed him in her bosom, feeling his magnets for
that sort of ki and willing her energy towards them.

"Thanks...but that won't help much."

And indeed, she could feel the magnets weakening as he spoke.

"Ranma...please...don't let Akane slip away..."

---

"And so, umm..."

"HENTAI!"  Akane malleted him into the sky.  Honestly, Ranma expecteed
her to *believe* that nonsense?  Even if Ranma's other fiancees *did*
crumple a bit more easily...

******

"Let me get this straight, Morpheus.  That red pill and blue pill you
offered me, they've been mass producing."

"That's right."

"And everyone who takes the red pill, they've been seeing glimpses of
reality, getting fragments of history from the Matrix's archives."

"Unfortunately, yes.  We're not sure how the trace program tapped-"

"Hold that thought.  You said the blue pill was more dangerous."

"Well, yes."

"How can it be *more* dangerous to them?  Once they get corrupted with
the truth, the machines will dump them, and there's far too few of us
to rescue even one percent of the bodies before they drown."

"The machines can not afford to release so much of their power source
at once, and they realize it.  No, the blue pills are more dangerous
to *us* because they enhance the body's reproductive cycle.  It makes
the real body more fertile, with corresponding changes to the avatar in
here."  Morpheus pointed, from their table at a cafe, to a rapidly
approaching dust cloud.  "Here comes one of the results."

"SWEETO!"

******

"Speed, crack, LSD, marijuana...Gos, honey, I know you're doin'
Ran-chan a favor, but what *is* all this stuff for, anyway?  It's
enough to send anyone to the loony bin."

Goskungi nodded.  "He thought it would push Kodachi over the edge.  I
believe his exact words were, 'She's so far down, her mind'll hit rock
bottom and bounce back up to some degree of sanity...I hope.'"

******

All her rivals had conveniently left town, and Shampoo turned herself
down to the point where Ranma would not run away.  She'd talked Ranma
into letting her keep him warm tonight - nothing intense, she promised,
unless of course Ranma wanted it and said so.  Which, she added, she
knew Ranma had no intention of doing.  It was only this way - and the
fact that she was his only friend not somehow busy on his birthday -
that Ranma let her accompany him home.

"SURPRISE!"

Ranma figured out the surprise party just as Shampoo, a bit more
startled than he, dropped the Wide Area Passion Grenade she had been
intending for later use.
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