Got a little bit of time:

RATING: R

SUMMARY: There's got to be a measure of maturity at some point in time.

Untrue. I know many people that are just as immature and petty twenty years
after their childhood ended. Some even start out more mature, and end up
infantile over the years. But most people do tend to act somewhat more
responsible as time goes on.

There are times that I turn around to look behind me, at the way the sun

set

amidst the dust our feet rose up

Awkward. I'd reword the end there.

I sniff the air again.

Oh, and she's in heat, too.

Heh.

It must have only started a few moments ago, or else I would have been
walking funny earlier.  Thank God for these robes.  Don't start me on the
horrors of the male perversity, you deal with a body part that can't be
hidden, constrained, or properly punished without seriously painful
consequences, and that possesses a mind of its own - *then* you can harass
me about it.

Yes. I do know that feeling. :)

But even with the damn kimono - sitting down sounds good.

Gruffly, I sneer at her and throw down her enormous Pack from Hell,
carefully listening for the sounds of any unfriendly intruder, I smirk and
say, "Fine, this place seems as good as any to tuck down

'tuck' is an odd choice of words. Might want to choose a different one.

She smiles now, "Thanks, Inuyasha."  She grabs Sango's hand, the strap to
her bookbag and starts bolting towards the dark part of the woods -
undoubtedly for their nightly bathroom rituals.  Ever since Kagome
introduced Sango to the joys of future skin-care products, every evening

has

just been another trial in repressing laughter for me and the priest.  If
its

it's

not cucumbers over their eyes, then its some strange, pale green cement

all over their faces.  We know better than to laugh - but it still hurts

to

hold it in.

Heh. Nice reaction on his part.

"About the jewel, Inuyasha - we're only missing about one or two pieces
anymore."

Again 'anymore' sounds inappropriate. I'd just drop it.  or have him say
'there's only one or two pieces left'

Sometimes, things just get

'go' instead of 'get'

There's an inherent lesson to be learned in this, just because women are

in

'heat' doesn't mean that we want some.  In case no female has ever gone

off

on you about this already - it is painful, it is nauseating, and no, it is
*not* some joyous passage into adulthood.  Most likely, all we want is to
curl up in a ball and die with dignity.

Indeed. If I ever get a hint of it being 'that time' I tend to avoid the
woman in question for a few days until it passes. Just better for everyone
involved. :)

It's as if the entire bottom half of my body drops out from underneath me,
and I'm overcome with this awful vertigo.  With all of this, of course, I
panic and my mind runs through seven thousand variations of painful,

violent

things that she could be suffering and that I should have protected her
from.  You wonder how you're going to survive without her there to make

you

smile or roll her eyes, or tell you what an ass you've made of yourself.
And then the worst part of all - you think: Oh - God, I never got to tell
her what I felt about her, and now she's dead, she'll never know.

Five minutes later, I get over it. But it's a really BAD five minutes.

But then again, she's wearing the Shikon shards (something that I

absolutely

despise - considering that she's a weak and silly human who wouldn't be

able

to protect herself from lusting demons or malicious demons or - but I'm
getting off topic here).  There are millions of people and

drop 'and'

And we stop short in silence, only the sound of trees and grass shaking in
our aftermath penetrating the absolute quiet.

Oh.  My.  God.

Sango - her arms raised to shield her face, her yukata half hanging off of
her shoulders, revealing broad expanses of cream-colored skin broken my

by

Right - tonight is going to be hell.

Heh

=====

I should have known that something bad was going to happen.

I should have told Sango to shut up the moment she screamed as I threw the
first pinecone at her for that crude comment.  And I should have taken the
yells from the trees as a warning to *get some clothes on*.

Yep

I look surprised, no 'stupid wench' comment?  "Then why are you acting

like

this?"

Truly a bad sign. :)

My voice is warning as I start, "Inuyasha, I don't want to ruin this
perfectly nice evening by saying the 's' word, but I will if I have to."

He

stares at me, that beseeching, transfixing, dewy-eyed, whipped-puppy-dog,
'why are you going to be mean to someone who loves you and licks your
cheek?' look boring into my skull.

God, I hate that.

Hehehehe. This part is very nice.

He sneers, "I'm *not* going to tell you, all right?  It's private, and

it's

something that human's

humans

I'd *never* crawl up from the 'sit's I'd get.

Prolly right at this point.

Yes, I want to say, absolutely.  Everything to do with seeing you naked.
Because now - I'll know exactly what patches of skin I'd like to suck on

as

I'm -

Heh. He is quite crude, but it works, since it emphasises he's part demon.

Nice work for an intro to the piece. Doesn't feel like you could stretch it
much longer than a couple of more chapters unless you shift the focus to
recovering the last two pieces or so, though.

D.B. Sommer


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