So. Just for a change, I'll do some C&C, and since (as I seem to recall
I've mentioned to you before) I love this story, well ... :)
Process of Elimination -- Chapter Five
The more I think about it, the more ominous that title seems. Unless of
course you really mean ...
Washuu pounded on the bathroom door. "For goodness' sake, Tenchi
aren't you ever coming out of there?" she called.
"Er ... sorry," came Tenchi's voice nervously through the door.
"I'm a little ... busy."
Nahh, I didn't think so.
"From a historical standpoint, this will largely be identified as
nothing more than an odd footnote, but from a relative standpoint...
the impact of Emperor Yosho's decision set in motion changes that
will doubtlessly change the way that the entire hierarchy of Jurai
works. Ironic, really, since he did so little to move events in this
direction, other than his first official act. Actually, --" [record
truncated].
I wonder, under the circumstances, if it's appropriate to speak of Yosho's
"first" official act? :) Of course "only" would be too much of a spoiler.
And I guess it's possible that he becomes Emperor again later, somehow or
other...
"Oneesan," Nabiki said firmly. "Listen to me. Ranma's... Ranma's
better off without that stuck-up..." she trailed off, composing
herself. "I'm sure that Nodoka's just a little unbalanced. With some
time, she should be able to calm down, and since Ranma's... pet...
ate her sword, she's no longer dangerous."
She trailed off [needs capitalisation]
NODOKA: No longer dangerous? Think again! [Throws a small ball to the
ground] Mewtwo, I choose you!
Both girls broke of their ruminations, as a pale beam of light
swept through the walls of the house, bathing the pair and
brightening in intensity until Nabiki was forced to close her eyes.
When she opened them again, she found herself sitting in the center
of a vast wooden deck, Kasumi and Nodoka close by, and looking
equally stunned.
broke off
Probably don't need the comma after "ruminations", or after "close by".
A man wearing officious robes attended by a pair of tiny wooden
cylinders floating -- one over each shoulder -- approached, nodding
slowly, and scanning a small display that the cylinders projected
before him.
Reads rather oddly. I'd suggest:
A man wearing officious robes, and attended by a tiny wooden cylinder
floating over each shoulder, approached, nodding slowly and scanning...
A figure stood before her, bending low and placing a hand on her
shoulder. "Nabiki? When Kasumi comes to her senses, tell her that I
love her. I love both of you." Nabiki blinked, trying to work her
jaw as the figure -- her father -- straightened, and approached the
man with the wooden cylinders. "I need to return, can you please
send me back?"
Last sentence probably better split:
"I need to return. Can you please send me back?"
Another man in officious robes, accompanied by a trio of slightly
smaller wooden cylinders over one shoulder, approached. His bearing
screamed, 'military,' to Nabiki, and she gathered her will, trying
to collect her senses. "Hello, and welcome aboard the Freya-oh. My
name is Laruma Genoh, and I'm with the Silver Journey -- Ginraii.
Can you please give me your name?"
I don't think you need the commas around "military". It's not a quotation
to be offset by commas; it's more a word that you're simply emphasising.
His bearing screamed "military" to Nabiki
would work better, and you could even use single quotes (or whatever)
instead of the speech marks.
The bespectacled boy nodded, taking off his glasses to clean them
on the sleeve of his robe. "Yeah," he said, donning the thick lenses
again, "I think that throwing spring of drowned duck water or
something like that on the monsters would help us out quite a bit."
Heh. Interesting idea. As long as they don't end up using Drowned Twin
water by mistake...
Mousse simply shrugged. "I just hope we don't end up being
totally useless. I keep worrying that I should be doing more..." he
trailed off uncomfortably.
He trailed
Ayeka cleared her throat anxiously as Ryo-oh-ki pierced the thin
and flimsy looking field that surrounded the Throne, sinking to rest
some distance over one of the decks. The starboard deck, Ayeka
noted, glancing around the flat surface, the stars sharply
contrasting against the gleaming wooden floor.
Just how long does it take to travel from Earth to Jurai, anyway? I'd always
had the impression that it wasn't that short a trip. Here it only seems to
have taken a few hours, though, if that.
The Emperor's pride exceeded his skill at hiding his expression,
and he smirked broadly, nodding at Yosho as he drew near, Tenchi
trailing him. Yosho coughed loudly, stopping some paces before his
father, and held one hand towards Tenchi. "Give me the Tenchi-ken,"
he commanded quietly.
"smirked broadly", "coughed loudly" and "commanded quietly" seems a bit much
for one paragraph. I'd suggest losing the "broadly" (it seems a bit out-of-
place with "smirked" anyway).
Tenchi frowned, a moment of doubt visibly passing across his
features, but nodded, handing the master key to Yosho. Yosho held it
in one hand, inspecting it closely, while the Court watched
silently. They wouldn't say anything until the meeting between Yosho
and his father was over, most likely, with the possible exception of
the Emperor's wives. Of course, Ayeka had never known her mother to
speak out against the Emperor in public.
Yosho eyed the key for a moment, running his fingers across the
jewels in the hilt, and then looked up to meet his father's gaze.
"I'm here," he said simply. "Now what?"
The Emperor coughed imperiously, and nodded. "Well, it is good to
see you again, my son. We said we would wait for you to return to
rule Jurai for as long as it takes... and it make not even take as
much time as we had thought."
The "make" in the last phrase doesn't make sense. Should perhaps be "may"?
"did" would make even more sense, it seems to me.
Also, you've a bit too much repetition here, having the Emperor coughing
imperiously (!) after Yosho coughed loudly just a couple of paragraphs back.
Yosho shrugged, twirling the Tenchi-ken through his fingers in a
brazen display of indifference. Even Tenchi winced upon seeing the
breach of protocol -- the only ones who looked to be unaffected were
Tsunami, and Yosho himself. The Court gasped, if quietly, but no
murmurs were allowed to escape. "Let's get down to the point," Yosho
declared. "And that's this: you wanted me to return so that I could
take the mantle of 'Emperor' once you decided to leave it, correct?"
Why the quotes around 'Emperor'?
The man sighed, and tossed the Tenchi-ken to Tenchi. The boy
caught it belatedly, horribly confused, as Yosho slipped off the
mantle of Emperor. "My first act as Emperor of Jurai," he announced,
throwing the mantle towards Tenchi, after the blade, "is to step
down. Congratulations, Emperor Tenchi."
Heh. Yes, I did see this coming. What I don't see is why Azusa agreed to
stand down, though. It seems odd that he'd relinquish command so readily.
Sure, he's been put on the spot, but even so, I find it hard to imagine him
just stepping aside at the drop of a hat. If he's that weary of power, or
that eager to have his son back, well, I don't recall seeing any indication
of it...
Tsunami smiled, and reached for Yosho's hands. "I applaud your
choice," she told him. "Now, we must depart." So saying, she
gathered his hands on her own, Ryo-oh-ki scrambling to climb atop
Yosho's shoulders. Her eyes closed in concentration as beam of light
from the tree enveloped both of them, and they vanished.
as a beam of light
Misaki glanced at Ayeka and Tenchi, now the center of the entire
Court's attention. "Besides," she stated calmly, before grabbing the
former Emperor in a crushing hug, her voice escalating to a squeal,
"aren't they just so _cute_?"
Oh boy. Tenchi's gonna have in-laws problems like you wouldn't BELIEVE...
I pity him. Really.
"If you don't mind, Tenchi-sama, I'd like to faint now." And with
that, everything fell to blackness.
Heh. On top of everything else. that's just ... perfect. Nicely done.
A tall, lanky, dark-haired man pulled himself upright from one of
the piles of amassed and discarded machinery, peering around
blearily. Wearing a worn looking lab-coat, the man smacked his lips
together tiredly, dislodging some of the devices that had somehow
come to bury him. "What's going on?" he asked, his voice tired
enough to suggest that he was about to fall asleep again. Blinking,
he focused on Terry and Nuku, slowly waking himself up. "Oh, hey...
you guys got any mayo?"
I'm guessing this guy is a cameo, but I have no idea who. Sorry. :)
"I wish I had a boyfriend like your old sempai!"
Makoto snickered, shaking her head. "Who wouldn't?"
"Say... what was his name, anyway?"
Makoto sighed dreamily, already half-lost in fond remembrances.
"Saotome Ranma..."
*sigh* One of the great cliches of crossover fanfics ...
At least you play a very nice riff on it later, though. :)
Ryouko shrugged, drifting towards it. "I don't know, but I'll
meet back with you with Washuu. You go help whoever's down there."
"I'll meet back with you with Washuu" reads very strangely. Suggest: "I'll
meet you back with Washuu" or "I'll see you later back with Washuu".
And Emperor or not, Tenchi wouldn't have a choice in the matter,
either. He was emperor in name only, just yet. There would be the
standard fanfare surrounding a once-in-several-centuries event, as
the change in title as recognized by the Council and then the
assorted Juraian nobles would attempt to coerce him one way or
another... No, the way Yosho saw things, Tenchi would need every
whit of the help that Ayeka, Tsunami, and even Ryouko could provide.
as the change in title was recognized by the Council, and
He stared at the gem for a moment, while the Americans watched in
confusion. The edges of his body became indistinct and blurred, then
there was a shift, and he faded out of sight. When he returned to
Cologne's visual range a second later, he was standing next to...
his cursed form. The two looked at each other, grinning raucously.
But there was a difference. Ranma had a gem in his wrist, and a
flare of blue on his skin-tight black costume, while his cursed form
lacked any gems.
Cologne opened her mouth to comment on that, when the redhead
reached out, grabbing the gem Ranma had left in the air for a
moment, and seemed to absorb it into her wrist. There was a faint
humming sound, and a matching blue flare formed on her left wrist,
to compliment the blue flare on Ranma's right. Done with that, the
two Ranmas nodded, and the male disappeared while the redheaded
Ranma looked at Washuu attentively, still hovering slightly over the
deck. "Okay," she said slowly, seeming to adjust to something
internally. "What now, Washuu, Old Ghoul?"
Very interesting. Ryouko's duplication trick, with a twist...
The boy who had named himself, 'Ranma,' whipped his head around
to stare at Mousse. "What did you say?" he demanded. "That's the
name of one of the Yamasen-ken school's attacks! Where did you see
it?"
No need for the commas around 'Ranma'.
Nodding, Ranma floated upwards, the small furry creature at his
feet pausing to bare his teeth at Ryouga before jumping to Ranma's
arms. "I'll scout around," he said, patting the creature on the
head. "I'll keep close by."
I like the baring of teeth. Ran-oh-ki knows what Ranma's feeling, possibly
better than Ranma does himself ...
Stunned, Ranma could only nod, clutching the scroll that bore his
father's legacy to his chest as he floated over the roof. "Tendo..."
he said slowly. "Are... I mean..." He bowed his head, unsure of what
words were appropriate. "Thank you, Tendo. Thank you, and... if I
ever see your daughters again..." he trailed off, wondering. Would
he? Would he see them again? "Farewell, Tendo."
With that, he drifted away backwards, south and east, watching
the sun frame the old warrior atop his home.
When the distance was as great as Ranma supposed the man could
shout, the Tendo patriarch rose, and saluted Ranma with his
naganita. Ranma swallowed, unable to help himself, and wiped at the
moisture in his eyes before turning away.
A touching scene. Very nicely done indeed.
Norris nodded again, looking at a sheet of paper before him.
"Well,'' he said, "I hope that we can work together, but I'm afraid
if you've come to us for protection, we can't offer much."
'' ==> "
"Who is 'Nuku-san'?" Norris interrupted.
Washuu gestured to Ranma, smirking. "Ranma's daughter."
Heh, heh, heh. Well, more or less true, I guess...
And there's something just too ironic about his having a
_cat_ as an adoptive
daughter.
Ranma blinked, trying to fathom what the scientist was speaking
of. Norris raised an eyebrow speculatively. "Can you manufacture
those for my crew? Or do you have a more versatile piece of
equipment that does the same thing?"
"speaking of" is rather clumsy here. Suggest: "what the scientist was talking
about."
Washuu nodded her thanks silently, as Ranma sank through the
ship, deck by deck, and from there, into the space phased through
the cold water of the bay.
Don't quite understand the last phrase. Perhaps "into the space" should
be dropped? It seems to make sense then.
Terry took off his hat, and scrubbed his hands through his hair.
"Okay," he said slowly, glancing around. "Maybe I can get someone on
the radio to tell me how to work this thing." He frowned, trying to
remember anything he knew about more complex machines. Red buttons
were bad. Glass shielding over a button was there for a reason. And
a very important one, yellow and black warning tape meant 'Don't
touch!'
That means he should press it, doesn't it? Any self-respecting cartoon
character (anime or not) would press it in a heartbeat...
Nuku watched him silently, and he shook his head, turning to
study the rows of switches labeled -- oddly -- in English. Switches
weren't as bad as buttons, he reasoned. A switch could be reversed,
after all. Despite his knowledge of English, the meanings eluded
him. "'Phase dispersion'? What the heck _is_ this stuff?" Turning a
beseeching gaze towards the young woman, he asked, "Do you know how
to run this thing? I know that we're supposed to get Washuu to
control it, but I'm afraid to touch the thing."
"What does 'Launch photon torpedoes' mean?"
Lights suddenly brightened, various displays flickering and
resetting, and more of the machinery whirred to life, making Terry's
hackles rise. He didn't understand it very well, and he didn't like
it much, either. A sweet, childish voice with a faint edge of malice
echoed from a concealed speaker system, "Hello, Atsuko. I didn't
think you would come back."
Nuku fidgeted for a moment, then bowed her head. "Nuku-Nuku is
sorry she ran away, Eimi-chan."
A faint laugh filled the room from the speakers, making Terry
wonder where this 'Eimi' were hidden. "That's fine, Atsuko. The
coding that allows me to be upset with you was damaged before I was
transferred to this facility."
Oh, shame. I liked Eimi...
I wonder, though, why her voice has the faint fint of malice, if that coding
has been damaged?
"That analysis is most apt. My original perimeters were
substantially altered when my initial form failed in a test against
the current threat."
perimeters ==> parameters
"Pleased to meet you, Bogard-san. My name is Eimi. Would you like
me to sing you a song? Kyusaka-sensei taught it to me..."
"Daisy, daisy ..."
The rest of their allies arrived in short order, Saturn, Uranus,
and Neptune arriving together, followed swiftly by Mars, and
Mercury. Endymion hadn't shown up yet -- likely because of the
wounds the monsters were creating in the Earth. The wounds that
effected him, as well, making escape impossible. Which was why Moon
was absent, as well. Someone needed to take care of him, moving him
to the harbor, and to safety. They all would have been happier if
they could _all_ have helped, but they needed to stay behind.
Superfluous commas after "Uranus" and "Mars".
effected ==> affected
The entire group fell into a careful silence, spread out into a
wide circle. Saturn leaned against the Silence Glaive near a
storefront, while the rest of the senshi fanned out from her, each
peering about cautiously, and making as little noise as possible.
The moon cats finally made their presence known, climbing atop an
abandoned car for a better vantage, and sniffing around themselves
cautiously.
"cautiously" twice in one paragraph. You should probably change or
remove one of them.
Jupiter whipped her head around to locate the speaker, but he was
already gone, and Saturn's shrill cry of alarm distracted her. She
spun again, only in time to see a man, or something _like_ a man,
though she didn't have enough time to make out his facial features
wrap his arms around Saturn, lifting her off the sidewalk, and then
simply vanish. Only a half-second later, the storefront where she
had been standing exploded violently, and a mass of black carapace
and shattered glass tumbled through.
Needs a comma after "facial features".
He dove towards it, sinking through the ground, and floating back
up behind it, while it spun to face him. Taking advantage of its
momentary surprise, he launched a powerful roundhouse into the joint
between its abdomen and one leg, throwing all of his strength and
cheating a bit by adding all of the power his levitation afforded
him into the blow.
Cheating? Hey, it's called "anything goes"... :)
The girl turned to look at him cautiously, her eyes traversing
his body from head to toe, then back up before she responded,
holding her hands towards him in a ready stance. "I'm Sailor Mars,"
she declared, "one of the--"
The rest of the declaration was cut off as Ranma grabbed her,
Oooh, interrupting the speech. That's a big no-no.
Seeing in a spectrum not normally visible to humans was
disorienting, but she concentrated on getting used to it. The ships
above her had warm/bright spots near the engines, slowly brightening
as the massive propellers whirred to life. Her hearing had changed,
too, so that the disturbances of the ships' sonar and the noise of
the propellers of the ships that were already pulling out registered
as a kind of audible static.
Also, she had a sudden appetite for krill.
The girl with the red skirt, and long black hair said, "Um... I
don't think he's on the same side as the monsters."
Unnecessary comma after "red skirt".
The reaver's piercing claw ruptured the gas tank, coating the
wound, and the carapace near it in flaming gasoline. While fire and
heat didn't affect reavers very well, the wound allowed the gasoline
to enter its body, still burning. The hulking mass of metal that had
once been a car was shrugged off, as the burning reaver gave a
piercing shriek, sinking below the ground hurriedly.
Superfluous comma after "coating the wound".
That would have to be it, Ranma decided. "That was pretty good,"
he said aloud, wondering if he had perhaps abandoned martial arts
cheerleading too quickly. The ability to throw fire around might
have been nice, in the end, though he wasn't sure it would be worth
having to wear a cheerleading outfit. No, he decided, glancing
briefly at the green-skirted girl, when it came right down to it, he
had enough problems trying to sort out honor and love, without
adding more confusion to the situation.
Heh. Trust Ranma to see it all in cheerleading terms.
The girl beamed at him, traipsing casually around the desiccated
hulk of the reaver. "Thank you!" she exclaimed.
He nodded wordlessly, as the crowd behind him remained silent,
apparently stunned at the whole ordeal. Not that he could blame
them, really. Ran-oh-ki's senses linked with his, showing him where
the other reaver was hiding nearby -- preparing to strike again,
undoubtedly. "I didn't want to do this," Ranma grumbled. "I _really_
hope you guys don't get mad at me for this. Ran-oh-ki? I see those
large rats on the car over there," he said, pointing to the one car
left undamaged from the battle. "Go ahead and let go of the control."
Rats. Riiiiight. I hadn't quite realised all the implications of him
calling Ran-oh-ki a "rat" until now. Or that Ran-oh-ki was suppressing
his fear.
She eyed Ryu appraisingly. "Ryu?" She asked, "Why did you lie to me?"
This is okay as it stands. But I think it would read smoother as:
"Ryu?" she asked. "Why
The older man with the sword snorted, pointing at Ranma. "You'd
better," her warned, "unless you want to make him mad. And, uh, I'll
explain that part later."
he warned
"No," Terry said slowly. "That's very kind of you, but you don't
have to sing for me."
"Are you sure, Bogard-san?" Eimi asked him yet again. "I know how
to sing, 'To be in Love', among other songs."
I think the comma after "how to sing" is superfluous.
"Mae West was destroyed," Eimi explained, "but we were able to
discern that the Americans named their fleet 'The Last Hope', before
they departed. It's not widely publicized, but several of the ships
in Tokyo Harbor arrived with the American Military vessels."
Should "Military" be capitalised?
Also (and this probably displays appalling ignorance on my part), what,
apart from an actress or a lifejacket, is Mae West?
The same soft 'ping' sounded, and the visual display zoomed out
to a map of the entire planet. "This map is realtime, and we are
currently tracking two hundred and fifty seven reavers. We suspect
that there are more we cannot scan, and many are outside of out
targeting range." The map zoomed in on the bay again, rushing in
close enough to show a grainy image of a small crowd standing around
the ruptured remnants of a reaver. "This is unexpected. It would
appear as though this one was destroyed. However, I detect nearly a
dozen more headed towards the same location, and one beneath this
very tower. I cannot strike it without damaging myself."
out targeting ==> our targeting
The reaver plummeted like a greasy comet, black legs waving
limply behind it, trailed on all points by fluttering streamers of
thick yellow ichor. Ranma landed gently on the street only a short
distance away from the senshi, on all four limbs, and behind him,
the reaver impacted in the crater with a moist sounding, 'thump', a
small fountain of ichor fountaining upwards briefly to spatter
against the street.
moist-sounding 'thump'
Please tell me that Ranma didn't start cleaning himself off with his tongue
after that...
Dead silence rang out, while Pluto climbed to her feet, and
dusted herself off. Venus was the first to break the quiet, "That
boy's got issues." Hotaru smiled happily. Maybe he did, but she
liked that. He was very interesting -- and he had tried to protect
her, too.
Venus was the first to break the quiet. "That
Cologne snorted, having just reentered the bridge. "I see that
Ranma's found a solution after all," she commented. "I think he
should be congratulated on damage control, considering how much a
mess he normally makes.
makes."
"Um," Sailor Venus began, cocking her head as she looked at
Pluto, "where were you? Weren't you supposed to be here?"
She shook her head, drawing her attention away from the softly
purring... creature... that Hotaru had managed to collect. Well, the
rules on pets might have to be relaxed a bit, but if it were
controllable, then there were no worries.
But is it housebroken? :)
The oldest of the males interjected before anyone else could
answer, "That's probably going to be something of a surprise to
you... And it's probably just as well for you. My father wouldn't
care to rescue a rebel faction, but I suspect my grandson will be
far more lenient."
Pluto stared at the man in confusion. "'Rebel faction'?"
The man's smile widened. "Yes. I'm Masaki Yosho, former Emperor of Jurai."
Hmm, I'm missing something here -- probably deliberately on your part.
'Rebel faction'? I suspect that Yosho knows smoething about the senshi's
past, that even Pluto doesn't.
Ranma waved a hand dismissively, scowling, and hovering a short
distance above the ground. A moment later, redheaded female appeared
at his side, dressed identically, save that the blue flare was on
her left arm, where his was on his right. The two faded out of sight
for a moment, and then it was only Ranma, with a blue flare
encompassing each arm, instead of just one.
A moment later, a redheaded
"You're my boyfriend now!" she exclaimed happily. Ranma's face
spoke volumes of incredulity.
*sigh*
So he's collecting another stable of fiancees. Hotaru .. and both Washuu
and Tsunami seem interested as well, though neither has actually come right
out and said so ...
Screaming, he flung himself into the abyss, deeper into that
reservoir of strength, and burst into a sudden leap towards the
reaver, absently batting a massive, black, contusion covered limb
out of the way. He landed a kick that cracked its carapace, knocking
it back into the wall, and followed up with another carapace
cracking punch.
carapace-cracking
Yosho nodded, galvanized, and spun towards the still-frozen
senshi, and assembled martial artists. "Okay, everyone, by now
probably half of the ships have already left. Let's go!"
Lose the comma after "senshi".
Not wanting to face the possibility of being left behind, or
worse, caught in the path of destruction from the heavens, they all
wheeled and ran, Yosho just barely behind them, making sure none
were abandoned. Ranma groaned, looking behind him. One way or
another, the battle was a mixed success at best.
Any battle that gives him another fiancee is a mixed success...
Terry's eyes were half-closed, his breathing was labored, and his
chest was a bloodied ruin. The man was trapped in the decimated
remnants of the staircase, but he smiled when he saw Ranma. "Ranma,"
he said weakly. "I hoped... I hoped I would see you... before it was
too late."
Probably not "decimated". Decimated means that a tenth of it has been
killed. Suggest "devastated".
"Bogard-san?"
Terry swam up through the layers of darkness that bore down on
him. "Yes... Eimi?"
"I'd like to sing a song for you. It's not the song that
Kyusaka-sensei taught to me, but I think you will like it."
"Sure," he said, too tired to complain. "What's it...?
"It is called 'Sou Gan', Bogard-san."
"Terry. Name... Terry."
"Very well, Terry." Eimi took two seconds to compose herself, and
then her voice sounded, lyrical and sweet, not just one voice, but
thanks to her synthesizers, a choir, nearly angelic in quality.
The music flowed through him, lifting his spirits. He knew he was
dying. He had been asking for it, ever since the Armor of Mars. That
he had finally managed to beat the odds, and be the one to die,
rather than the one forced to survive was merely something that
would allow him to perish happier.
An odd surge of momentary strength surged through him, and he
smiled, ignoring the dried and caked blood flecking his lips. "Thank
you, Eimi, that was beautiful."
"Thank you, Terry... I wish... I wish I could go with you."
"Got... got enough women... waitin' for me... on the other...
side..." His eyes became heavier, the strength fleeting and leaving
him sapped. It was soon, he was sure. Soon, he would fade away. He
had never thought that death would be like that. "But... you're...
welcome, too... Eimi..."
And with that, his eyes drifted shut, one last time. "Thank you,
Terry." Were those sobs he was hearing? But he couldn't be sure...
"Thank you..."
I don't know much about Fatal Furty, but ... another sweet and touching
scene. I wish I could do that as effortlessly as you seem to...
"Ranma!" she yelped, pulled down on top of him, his hand on the
back of her neck, and their faces close. "What are you doing?"
"Shiatsu," he mumbled. "Ghoul taught me. Used on Shampoo."
"What's shiatsu?" Washuu asked, not attempting to wrest herself
free of Ranma's grip.
Uh-huh. I
_said_ she's interested in him... :)
Okay. Hope all this is of some use. Now get moving on the next chapter!
(Or actually ... back in chapter 4, didn't you say that the next chapter
of Rursus Iterum would be next? That'd be good, too. Write, write, write!)
Cheers,
Angus