Subject: [FFML] Re: [Commercialfic] The 2001 TakoBall Awards - Commercial #2 - The Running Gag
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
Date: 7/23/2001, 1:24 PM
To:
CC: <FFML2@listbot.com>

About time I got so come public C+C:

Joshua 'Gargoyle' Trujillo wrote:

"Pizza!" she screamed and dove for the boxes behind the driver.

"She likes pizza, does she?" he asked Shinji.

"Just the vege-pizza," Shinji said quietly, "You know how girls
are..."

Actually Asuka expressed no reluctance at getting something with steak in it
when Misato was springing for it. The episode it  happened in eludes me,
though.

"Please Asuka," a voice said from the kitchen, "Don't pick on my
son."


Please, Asuka

"Well, they don't have to do that in my house," Gendo said from
the big chair in the corner.

"Now dear," Yui shook her finger at him slightly, "We must
remember that we were that age once."

Yui: Remember, we even taped some of it, just to be kinky. And then somehow
that tape got mixed in with the vacation tapes of Antarcitica we showed my
parents? Now that was embarrassing.

Gendou: And your mother kept going on 'I can't believe he's that small and
can still satisfy you' yes, I remember!

Yui: I think 'Tiny' Ikari is a cute nickname.

"I know." Rei replied, forcing herself between Shinji and Kaoru.

know,"

It wondered at what it saw there. A length of some
kind of metal, small to a planet, but large to a human.

[All the women in the room get a good chuckle]

Misato: Let me guess, it was twelve inches long too...

Shinji unzipped his pants and whipped it out, measuring it. "Oh, man. it's
only ten inches. I'm inadequate in everything!" he wailed as he reverted to
his spineless state.


Kaji: I just hope there aren't any of those humans in gorilla
costumes...

Pen Pen: WARK wark warkwark, wark WARK WARK WARK!

[Everyone falls silent and stares]

Misato: Thanks for the Heston...

Hehehehe. An excellent  delivery there.


It gleamed slightly in a fiery-ball-
of-gas sort of way,

Asuka: It needs a Tucks.

Tucks?


Kaoru: Is it going somewhere special?

Kaji: Down the drain, REAL quick with these jokes...

but the Earth didn't mind. For millions of
earths,

What? No comment on that typo?


Then there was a chord, and the Earth looked up into the space
surrounding it.
Misato and Kaji: [Singing] Lucy in the sky with diamonds!

No one will ever top Shatner's version of it. I still wake up in chills even
after ten years, the last time I heard it.


It wondered at what it saw there. A length of some
kind of metal, small to a planet, but large to a human.

[All the women in the room get a good chuckle]

Misato: Let me guess, it was twelve inches long too...


Gendo: Narrative license.

Kaji: Like who my killer was in the series?

Misato: No dear, that was me.

And here I thought it was ruled a suicide. Guess I wasn't paying close
enough attention to Anno. :)


Rei: Actually it was Pen Pen.

Rei: But we took turns desecrating your body.



And there were many people there. Old, young, dead and alive
(though the dead didn't really act all that dead).

Rei: I'm not dead yet!

Gendo: No Python sketches in this house, young lady! You know
the rules...

Rei: Not even the Lumberjack song?

Gendo: ESPECIALLY the Lumberjack song!

So that was why you bypassed the 'Spam, Spam, Spam' song when the
opportunity arose.


Kaoru: Chickens have balls? I thought it was only roosters?

Asuka: No...You're thinking of-

Yui: I didn't know that tacos *had* balls!

Never worked in a Taco Bell, I see.


Yui: Asuka dear, I don't think they want the ceremonies to crash
every two minutes...

[Shinji gives them a rimshot]

Rei: You play the drums too?

The 2001 TakoBall Awards...Sponsored by Yebisu.

Sigh. An opportunity for a gratuitous self-plug, and I skip it. I am
becoming too much of a softy. :(

Amusing commercial fic.

D.B. Sommer


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