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The Joy of Fatherhood
Carrot blinked as he stepped out of the hotel room he and his new wife
had gotten for the weekend. It was in a fairly nice hot springs just
outside of Tokyo. Things had been going reasonably well, and on Tuesday,
he'd be back in school again.
Nodoka was somewhat traditional in many ways, in others, he wasn't
exactly certain if she was even human. The woman had somehow gotten it
into her head that he was some sort of insatiable pervert. "At least
she's not into that bondage stuff. I don't know how much more I can take
"Carrot?" said a familiar voice.
He looked up and simply stared at the man in front of him. "Soun?"
"What are you doing here?" they said in unison, much to the amusement of
the young girl standing next to Soun.
"Honeymoon. You?" replied Carrot lazily.
"The same actually," muttered Soun as he coughed into his hand
"Really? You told me you were engaged, but..." said Carrot in genuine
"Well, yes. This is my wife, Kimiko Tendo," said Soun as he presented
his wife to Carrot.
"Oh, is this a friend of yours?" said the woman with a small oblivious
"Uh, yes ma'am," replied Carrot as Soun floundered for the answer for a
"Yes, quite so. My name is Tendo now, by the way."
"Oh? You too huh? My new name is Saotome."
"Well, perhaps we should get together later, for dinner or something?"
said Soun cheerfully.
"Yes, I'd like that," said Carrot calmly as Soun ushered his wife away.
He raised his eyebrow slightly as he saw her profile from the side. The
girl was slightly pregnant, and was holding her hand tentatively against
the small of her back already. "Hmmm, that must be Kasumi."
"Genma, darling!" said a familiar voice. Carrot turned to see Nodoka
skipping up to him cheerfully. She was still wet from the springs, and
dressed in a yukata.
"Hello, dear," said the boy with a weak smile.
"I was looking for you," she said as she walked up beside him and took
"Actually, I was looking for you too," he said as he managed to
straighten up a bit.
"Yes, I'm getting hungry, so I thought we might eat together," he said
"That would be nice, I was just starting to think about lunch myself.
Wow, we must be more alike than I thought!"
Carrot winced slightly at this. "Er, honey? I'm always hungry, see?" He
pat his belly for emphasis and smiled at her gently.
"Oh, oh my," she said as she looked down at his gut.
"Come on, dear," said Genma as he led her towards their room.
"Fancy meeting you here, Saotome," said Soun as he walked into the hot
springs a few hours later.
"Hello, Tendo," said Carrot with a small nod.
"How is your wife?" said Soun cheerfully.
"Huh? Oh, fine I guess, she's over in the woman's side right now," said
Carrot with a small cheerful smile. "I can tell this is going to take
some getting used to. I've always been a bit of a loner, now I've got to
start thinking about both of us."
"Huh? Oh yes, you just met your wife. It must be hard on her," commented
Soun with a serious nod.
"Actually, she seems to be having the time of her life. I'm the one
who's having trouble adjusting to this. It was all just so fast, plus,
she somehow decided that I'm some kind of pervert!" Carrot hung his head
as he said this and sighed.
"That doesn't sound so bad," commented Soun with a wistful smile.
"It's not, physically, I'm having the time of my life. Mentally I'm
trying to figure out what happened to me still. Nodoka can seem so
oblivious at times."
"Well, you'll come around. You seem to be getting along well. I'm sure
she'll make a fine wife," said Soun with a cheerful pat.
Carrot looked over at him and smirked. "I'm just hoping she doesn't turn
into her mother in law. That woman is scary."
"Actually, I agree with you. My mother in law had a nodachi sitting
across her lap throughout the whole ceremony," said Soun with a heavy
"Nodachi?" Carrot looked over at the man in surprise. "Wow, you got me
beat, mine just had a katana."
"So, you got your wife pregnant too did you?" said Soun with a little
understanding crossing his features.
"Actually no. You were there the first time I met her two days ago.
Remember?" said Carrot with a slightly nervous chuckle. "I think her
mother is a bit impatient."
"I guess it's just me then," muttered Soun with a sad look in his eyes.
"Cheer up ,Tendo, I would have gotten Nodoka pregnant early given half
the chance. I just never did get the chance," said Carrot as he pat the
man on his back.
"Thanks ,Saotome! You don't know how much that means to me!" said Soun
with tears in his eyes
"Relax ,Tendo, I'm sure we'll both be fine," lied Carrot.
"Saotome..." said Soun as he suddenly became calm again.
"What do you say? Would you like to...you know...?" said the man
"What? Here?" said Carrot as he looked around in confusion.
"Why not? We both need to blow off a little steam, and our wives aren't
going to object at the moment," said Soun with a serious nod.
Carrot blinked as he noticed that the men, who had once surrounded them
in the water, were now all sitting comfortably on the opposite side of
the spring. "What's with them?"
"I'm not sure..." said Soun as he shrugged his shoulders.
"Right, let's go then," said Carrot as he stood up and grabbed a towel.
Soun followed him out of the springs and into the changing room.
"Hiyah!" cried Carrot as he landed from a jump kick that sent Soun
sprawling across the ground. The man sat up and smiled dumbly as he
dusted himself off and readied himself again.
"That was a good shot ,Saotome!"
"Quite so ,Tendo!" agreed Carrot as he smirked and prepared to attack
"Ready!" said Soun as he started to rush forward.
"What the hell is going on here?" said an angry sounding voice from
Soun went pale and shrank back under a gaze that Carrot knew they were
both receiving at the moment. "Uh oh..."
Saotome slowly turned to see Kimiko and Nodoka standing side by side,
glaring at the both of them. Each wife moved as if choreographed, rushing
up to her husband's side and twisting his ear, dragging them both off to
their respective rooms.
"Having a good time?" said Carrot with a look that told Nodoka that he
hoped it was the right answer.
"Beating up another man is fun?" snapped Nodoka angrily.
"But, that's Tendo! We do this sort of thing all the time!"
"You invited one of your friends to stop by for our honeymoon?" said
Nodoka with her eyebrow twitching slightly. She seemed to be grabbing for
something at her waist that wasn't there absently.
"What? No!" cried Carrot as he pulled the futon up in front of himself
in a vain attempt to hide from his wife. "It's just a coincidence! I
"It had better be!" snarled Nodoka angrily as she calmed slightly.
"It is! He got married the same day we did! He's here for the same
reason as us! I didn't even know about it until we got here!"
"Very well," said Nodoka, as she seemed to accept this finally. "Genma."
"Yes dear?" said the man pathetically from behind the futon.
"Leave the dogi on, we're going to play 'wandering martial artist'
"Can't we just have sex? I can never get into this role playing stuff."
"No, now try to remember your lines," said Nodoka as she unfolded her
futon on the ground again.
"Yes dear..." grumbled Carrot as he kicked at the dirt.
"So, you're still alive too?" said Soun as he took a swig of a large
bottle of sake. He was sitting on the outside steps of the small hotel,
"Yeah," said Genma as he sat down next to him, with his own bottle in
his hand. His dogi hung from his body in tatters, but still covered
enough of him to be decent.
"Women," muttered Soun.
"Yup...'Wandering martial artist, and lonely housewife'. You?" asked
Genma lazily as he took a swig from his own bottle.
"Evil shogunate warlord, and slave," muttered Soun as he picked up the a
nearby samurai helmet off the ground.
"Here's to the women," said Genma as he raised his bottle.
"And their husbands," said Soun as he tapped it with his own.
"Soun, come back to bed," said a feminine voice from behind the men.
They both turned to see Kimiko standing in the door of the hotel. She
turned to walk back, and paused, turning her head slightly. "Bring the
"Yes dear," said Soun as he jumped to his feet and followed after her.
"Well, I've known her for three days, and I'm as whipped as he is.
Downright pathetic," commented Carrot as he stood up and walked back to
his own room.
"There's someone I want you to meet. He's a great uncle of mine," said
Nodoka as she sat across from him in their room.
"No way...it couldn't be..." muttered Carrot to himself.
"He's a grandmaster of a very powerful form of martial arts, and his
name is Happosai," continued Nodoka with a very formal look about her.
"Uh, dear...this man...why do you want me to meet him?" said Carrot
"You wish to be a martial artist? I shall support you, he has told me he
will take you as his student if you wish," said Nodoka calmly.
Genma froze in complete terror. The tone implied that it wasn't really a
choice, and the real Genma Saotome would have caved in an instant.
"Honey, I appreciate that you are willing to support me...however..."
"However?" said Nodoka with an arched eyebrow. It was obvious she wasn't
expecting opposition from the man she had been feeding a steady diet of
sex to over the past few days. According to her mother, that, and a
serious and formal tone, would be enough to break him. Having a weapon
with you would also help; perhaps that is what she was missing.
"Look, I'd like to see how far I can go on my own, before I seek the
training of a Grandmaster. A man like that wouldn't have time to teach me
the basics really."
"But, you have already have training," pointed out Nodoka.
"A red belt in Tai kwon do isn't training," said Carrot in retort,
secretly he was relieved that he'd never certified his kenpo training.
"Look, I want to learn a real martial art, but I need a little time. I'll
seek out the help of a grandmaster when I can't go any farther. With
Soun's help, I should do fine."
Nodoka pursed her lips and frowned. It had to be the sword; she needed a
sword to get her way. "Very well husband, I shall send word that you do
not feel you are ready yet."
Carrot had to stop himself from sighing with relief.
"Come husband, Kimiko has offered to have us with her and her husband
for dinner," said Nodoka calmly as she stood up.
"Hey, great!" said Carrot cheerfully as he stood up. Disagreeing with
Nodoka was harder than it first appeared to be.
"I feel so fat," whispered Kimiko to her husband.
Carrot froze suddenly and slowly moved a little further away from the
table before Soun opened his mouth.
"Of course dear, you're pregnant! It's only natural that you gain a
little weight! You'll be fine!" said the boy obliviously.
Nodoka noticed her husband inching away from the table, and clamped her
hand down on his knee, preventing him from moving away any further.
"Insensitive bastard!" cried Kimiko as she broke into tears and turned
away from Soun.
"Nonsense dear, you look fine," said Nodoka cheerfully. Using the same
fake cheerfulness that she had fooled Carrot with when they first met.
She turned her head towards her husband and smiled at him, while clawing
at his leg in warning. "Right dear?"
Carrot nodded vigorously. "Of course! She's absolutely beautiful! Look
dear, doesn't she just seem to glow? Why, I'm absolutely jealous Tendo,"
He turned his head and saw Nodoka twitching, apparently he'd laid it on a
little too thick. "I overdid it?" he asked her out loud.
"Wahhhhh! A stranger thinks I'm more beautiful than my own husband!"
cried Kimiko as she turned and started to beat Soun in the chest lightly
as she cried.
Soun was starting to cry himself. "Saotome! How could you!?"
"Well, maybe she could stand to lose a few pounds," muttered Carrot in a
desperate, and incredibly stupid attempt to make up for over doing it.
Nodoka was starting to turn red, and Soun simply cried with his wife,
who had stopped just long enough to look back at Carrot again.
"I'll just sit here and be quiet now," said Carrot softly as he hung his
"Well, it's the third night, and we've already been kicked out by our
wives," commented Carrot as he sat outside and watched the snow fall to
the ground lightly.
"This is all your fault, Saotome!" grumbled Soun angrily.
"It's the fault of our stupid mouths, and your wife's hormones. Besides,
we're both out here, so you aren't suffering alone you know."
"You're right, Saotome," muttered Soun dejectedly.
"Well, Tendo, shall we?" said Carrot as he pointed out to the snow as it
slowly drifted to the ground outside.
"Huh? It's freezing, Saotome!"
"We'll freeze to death if we just sit here, we'll do a little workout
and then go into the springs again," said Carrot with a small shrug.
"Come on, we want to be masters of the art someday, we gotta start
"You're right, Saotome!" agreed Soun. "For the art!"
"For the art!" agreed Carrot as he stood up and walked out into the
The resulting noise woke everyone up in the middle of the night, and
promptly got both families thrown out of the hot springs.
Next time: Suffering for the art.
This fic will be updated approximately 'whenever I feel like it' which
should be once a month. So, unlike my others, it will not be on a
constant writing schedule
C&C to Carrotglace@juno.com
Previous parts can be found at Http://www.fanfiction.net and R&C Books
International Fanfic Company at Http://www.rcbooks.org
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