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The Three Saotomes
The tournament, round 1
Hakama stood on the edge of the ring, with a microphone in his
hand as he read the first to names off his list. He waved his arm out
dramatically as the excitement rose within the crowd gathered and
grinned at the glare Ranma was giving him. The boy was wearing a dogi,
with a T-shirt underneath the loose clothing.
"Our first battle of the day! Are you prepared? Ranma Saotome and
The doctor stood up from his place and strolled into the ring with
a frown on his face, he casually pushed his glasses up his nose as he
waited patiently as Ranma approached him. The doctor was dressed in a
plain brown dogi. "Hello."
"You've got no business here," said Ranma calmly as he looked the
man up and down, equally relaxed.
"I'll decide that," replied the doctor calmly.
"No, I will. You're out of your league Tofu," said Ranma angrily
as he stepped back in an offensive stance, not even bothering to bow.
"We'll see," said the doctor as he followed suit. "I won't let you
"Who? My wife, or Kasumi?" replied the boy coolly. "Which one are
you in love with doctor? Or is it both?"
Tofu remained completely calm. "Jealous?"
Ranma smirked at him; he opened his collar revealing a simple
cross hanging from his neck. "Hardly."
Tofu stepped back in shock for a moment, and quickly regained his
composure. "Where did you get that?"
Ranma's grin widened slightly. "Where do you think I got it? Do
you think I don't know? You think I don't realize that you know every
little detail about her? The way she looks, the way she smells? I've
been watching you Tofu, you're pathetic, and she knows it."
"Shut up!" snarled the doctor as his composure began to wear down.
"Heh, I bet I know how she looks better than you do. After all,
I've seen more," said Ranma quietly.
"You bastard! Die!" screamed the doctor as he charged forward.
Hakama blinked, and watched as the fight started. "Hey, not yet
you idiots!" he cried in vain. After a moment, he simply gave up and
sat back down.
Genryu watched in awe as Ranma said something to the doctor that
completely blew his top. "Man, that guy is pissed."
Akane blinked and looked at him. "What did he say?"
"I dunno, but whatever it was, it really worked," said the boy
with a shrug.
Ranma jumped back, analyzing the doctor's movements, and staying
out of the enraged man's reach as best he could. "Say, didn't you take
some sort of hypocritical oath or something?"
Tofu was beyond words though as he charged forward almost blindly.
Ranma ducked and spun on his heels, putting his fist into the
doctor's gut and sending the man back a few feet.
Both of them rose up and glared at each other for a moment. Tofu
had a scowl on his face, and he was almost completely red with anger.
Ranma merely cracked his knuckles and leveled a casual smirk at
the man. "Too easy. You've been training with my wife haven't you? I
recognize some of the style you've picked up Tofu."
The doctor's face went from red to white in an instant. He put up
his fists and cursed himself mentally. "Damn it! How could I be so
stupid? I just gave away everything about how I fight!"
"It was a rather effective lie I'll admit," commented Ranma as he
realized the man was on to him now. "Or is it a lie? You'll never
know, will you?"
"Of course it is! Kasumi would never do something like that!"
snapped the doctor angrily.
"Oh no? How well do you know her doctor? Ever sat down and
actually talked with her?" Ranma smiled as the man's face fell. "I
didn't think so. You don't know anything about her do you? She's just
a nice lady, who brings you cookies, and borrows a book on occasion.
You haven't got a clue, or a spine for that matter."
Tofu growled and clenched his fists, this time he channeled his
anger, focusing it carefully into the task at hand. "You don't know
anything. I know enough to know she'd never do that with the likes of
"Really? Too bad, Mr. Tendo was pretty happy when I changed the
engagement to her instead of Nabiki last night. The two of us weren't
getting along very well. I think this time will be different." Ranma's
smile went almost completely wild as he said this. "She's a real
looker Tofu, got the cutest little birthmark on her...""
"Shut up!" roared Tofu as he charged forward again.
Ranma blocked the strike and backhanded the man in his face,
sending him sprawling across the concrete on his back. He chuckled and
slowly walked forward towards the man. "Sloppy."
Tofu looked up at him with a smile of his own this time. "Was it?"
Ranma stepped back, he growled as a tingling sensation began to
run down his arm. "What the?"
"Martial arts isn't my only forte you know. I'm also a skilled
practitioner of the art of Shiatsu. Very useful for medicine, but also
"I expected as much," said Ranma as he shook his head from side to
side. "That tingles a bit, but it won't do much more to me I'm
Tofu's eyes went wide as he watched the boy flex his arm for a
moment. "What? That's impossible!"
"Is it?" said the boy calmly as he glared at him for a moment. "I
don't think it is." Ranma charged headfirst as the doctor did the
same. They met in the center of the rink and locked up each pushing
against the other in an attempt to force one another back.
"Foolish, that young man has lost," said Cologne with a sigh.
"What mean?" asked Shampoo.
"Ranma has no ki, shiatsu is the manipulation of ki in most cases.
There are a few things that should still work, such as veins, and
certain muscles that can be effected by pressure. However, Ranma
cannot be effected by any attack that would disrupt his chi field."
"So what?" muttered Mousse.
"The blow he just tried, was one such point. It would cut off the
ki flow into his arm, thus forcing the body to believe that the arm
had died. Quite effective, but useless against someone like that boy.
The doctor doesn't seem to want to harm Ranma permanently with a more
effective strike that would sever the muscles, or perhaps cut off the
blood flow to his arm."
"Doctor not make good warrior," commented Shampoo.
"Indeed, his compassion will be his downfall, a pity really.
Still, the real world is harsh indeed," agreed Cologne.
Ranma screamed in effort and pushed Tofu back forcefully. The
larger man was thrown back a few feet, but maintained his balance.
"Come on doc, you can do better," snapped Ranma irritably. "I
don't want to get out of this without a scratch. How else will I get
Kasumi to nurse me back? She's got this cute little outfit she likes
Tofu moved with surprising speed and managed to catch Ranma in the
face. Sending the younger boy back a few feet.
"Better," said the boy as he wiped his chin with the back of his
hand and smirked. "Let's finish this. I don't want this to take any
longer than it has to."
Ranma ducked under a high kick and punched out quickly, catching
Tofu in a sensitive area. The man fell to the ground clutching himself
and Ranma merely stepped forward and picked him up by the hair on top
of his head. Tofu's face was contorted in pain as he managed to open
his eyes and look at the boy.
"Good night," said Ranma as he put his fist into the man's face.
Tofu slumped down to the ground, out cold.
Ranma turned and walked away from the scene. He was feeling more
than a little guilty for using Kasumi's necklace that way. The girl
definitely wouldn't approve of it, and she'd probably die of
embarrassment if she ever found out the things he'd said about her.
"She'd never speak to me again," he said with a sigh as he stepped
down and sat down with his brother again.
"What did you do?" said Genryu.
Ranma looked around and realized everyone was staring at him.
"Nothing much, I just found a convenient weakness. Don't worry about
Taro seemed amused by this, and everyone else simply shrugged it
off. Ranma pissing people off was not a new occurrence to them.
Akane shook her head in disgust. She used to have a crush on Tofu,
he always seemed so strong, and was such a nice guy. This was a side
of him she wished she'd never had to see. It was rather pathetic, and
she felt she could have beaten him just as easily as Ranma did. "Men,"
she said under her breath.
"And the winner, by complete knock out. Ranma Saotome," announced
Hakama lazily over the microphone.
Most of the crowd was relatively silent by this point, a cheer
slowly began to rise from it that eventually roared as most of them
began to realize what they were in for.
"Wow! Ranma beat the doc hands down!" said Nabiki in shock as she
lowered her camcorder for a moment.
"So it seems," agreed Nodoka with a small frown.
"I wonder what he had on him to get him that worked up?" said the
girl idly after the cheers died down around them.
"I hope I never find out," replied the woman calmly.
Hakama stood once again and smiled at the crowd. "Since the
opportunity was rudely taken away. I shall now explain the rules. They
are quite simple really. No time limit, no ring out, the last man, or
woman, able to stand wins. A true fight, to decide who is really the
strongest." The crowd cheered once again and he waved the noise down
with his hands. "Now, on to round two. I'm afraid I don't have a name
for this one...ah, here we go." Hakama cleared his throat and then
frowned as he read the slip of paper that was handed to him. "Asswipe
the Mighty? What the?"
Matin jumped up from his place and glared at Ranma. "You! I'll get
you for this you bastard!"
The crowd roared with laughter and Ranma glanced around for a
moment in surprise. "What the?" His eyes fell on Genryu, who had a
stupid looking grin on his face. "You didn't."
He shrugged apologetically and beamed with pride.
Ranma merely sighed and hung his head. "I guess it can't be much
worse with him anyway."
Hakama had managed to shake off the incident and turned towards
the three Amazons sitting in front of him. "And all the way from
China, an Amazon warrior. Shampoo."
The girl stood up and walked into the ring confidently. Her head
held high and the bonbori tightly in her grasp. Cologne had the bundle
with the spear inside held across her lap as she watched the girl move
"Aw, man. Why'd I get stuck with a girl," muttered Matin angrily as he
looked her up and down for a moment. "And a cute one at that. My life
"What is talking about male?" snapped the angry Shampoo as she
raised her weapon up and pointed at him with it.
"Look, why don't you just give up now? I don't want to fight you,
I'm here for Ranma," said the boy irritably. His mind tried it's best
to ignore her cuteness, and that sexy accent of hers. She was so
Shampoo stood dumbly, pointing at the now drooling and spaced out
boy with her weapon still. "What? Is stupid boy having perverted
thoughts?" she snapped at him.
Matin, who was completely oblivious to the world around him at the
moment, merely nodded the affirmative.
"That dope," grumbled Akane out loud, just loud enough for them
both to hear it.
That seemed to snap the boy out of his stupor. "Right, I'm in love
already! Can't be doing things like that!"
Shampoo briefly wondered what he meant by that, but pushed it
aside as Hakama raised his arm into the air and chopped down.
The Amazon charged forward, slashing downward with her weapons
hoping to catch him off guard.
Matin jumped back skillfully and frowned as the impact of her mace
cracked the concrete. "Hey! Cut that out! That looks like it might
"Is point! If no want fight, just take hit and stay down!"
screamed the girl irritably as she attempted to hit him again. He
dodged aside easily, keeping a good distance between himself and his
As time went on, Shampoo was becoming more and more frustrated
with the boy. He simply dodged around her strikes, not taking a single
blow from the weapons. The crowd was beginning to grow restless, and
she was getting tired.
"Stupid man! Fight!" she snapped.
"Hey!" said the boy in retort as he dodged another strike. Shampoo
smiled as her other bonbori homed in on his head. The boy's eyes went
wide, and he slashed at her with his arm in a motion almost too fast
for her to see at all. She staggered forward as her arm suddenly felt
lighter and looked at the clean slice on the handle of her weapon. She
looked up to glare at him for destroying her favorite weapon and saw
the metal ball just as it reached her head.
She slumped to the ground and did not get up.
Matin dusted off his pants and smirked at her fallen form. "Well,
looks like I win." He turned his gaze towards Ranma and smiled even
wider, it was not a friendly gesture. Ranma knew what it meant. "I can
play dumb too."
Ranma stood up and nodded at him, acknowledging his victory.
Something about that last strike bothered him, he could have sworn
he'd seen a flash, but the boomerang was still on the boy's back.
"That's something I'd better watch out for."
Hakama stood as the battlefield was cleared once again. He smiled
and spread his arms once again as the crowd cheered in reply to the
Cologne glared at Matin, who was sitting over with his group,
smirking at her. Shampoo was laid out on the ground next to the old
woman, with Mousse sitting next to her. The boy also leveled a glare
at the boy, barely containing his anger.
"I'll get him for this..." he muttered.
"You'll do nothing of the kind boy," replied Cologne coolly
without glancing away from Matin.
"What? How dare he do this to Shampoo?! I'll tear him apart!"
snapped the angry boy.
"What was he supposed to do? Lose on purpose? There is no kiss of
marriage here, calm down. Your feelings for Shampoo are exclusive
here," replied the old woman as she settled down and turned back
towards the ring again.
Hakama picked up the microphone again. "Next in our exciting day
of pure mayhem, is another battle of amazing strength! From our own
country, Ryoga Hibiki!" The boy stood up and glanced around, moving
away from the ring. Several of his teammates forcefully turned him in
the right direction, sending him onto the concrete flat on his face.
He stood up and glared at them for a moment, while dusting his pants
Hakama ignored the amusement of the crowd and smirked. "And from
the visiting Chinese warriors, Mousse!"
The boy stopped glaring at the old woman for a moment and adjusted
his glasses as he stood up and walked calmly into the ring.
Ryoga bowed to him, and Mousse did the same, eyeing his opponent
for a moment carefully as he did so. Neither of them spoke a word to
the other, they simply readied themselves and faced off in the middle
of the ring.
"Begin!" cried Hakama as he swept his arm down and then sat down
again. Ranma frowned as he noticed the boy's hand come to rest on top
of the covered box at his side.
"I won't forgive you barbarians for harming my Shampoo!" said
Mousse as he charged forward with an upward slash that caught Ryoga on
his chin. "Fist of the White Swan!"
"What?" snapped Ryoga as he stood up and idly rubbed at the spot
where the blow had connected. "You dirty..."
"A weapon?" commented Akane from the sidelines. "That boy is
carrying a weapon!"
"Indeed," agreed Ranma coolly. He smiled to himself, she had no
idea how much of an understatement that was.
Mousse jumped up in the air, throwing several objects to the
ground around Ryoga. The lost boy opened his umbrella and kneeled down
behind it to shield himself as several gas pellets exploded around
him. He felt the impact of several objects against the umbrella and
frowned as he stood up and saw several small throwing knives embedded
or lying on the ground around him.
"Damn, I missed," grumbled Mousse as he landed in the middle of
the cloud and frowned as he looked over at Ryoga for a moment.
"What the?" muttered the lost boy as his vision began to blur.
Tears formed in his eyes as the gas started to take effect. "Tear
Gas?" he muttered hoarsely.
"I'll finish this!" cried the Chinese boy as he jumped into the
air. "The Hawk's Talons!"
Ryoga watched as the blur descended on him, it slowly became
clear, revealing Mousse with a pair of clawed shoes on as he almost
Ryoga's arm shot upward, with the umbrella striking the Chinese
boy in his chin. Mousse was thrown into the air and came down hard
across the field. He slowly staggered to his feet and glared at Ryoga
for a moment angrily. "That was a good shot."
"Are you finished playing around with these stupid tricks? Or are
we going to have a real fight?" snarled the lost boy angrily as his
vision began to clear up.
"What? You dare call my techniques tricks?" snapped Mousse
"I haven't seen a real attack yet you loser," retorted Ryoga as he
pulled the umbrella up in front of him and pointed it towards his
opponent. "Here, let me show you a real attack."
"I'll show you!" snapped Mousse as he charged forward angrily.
Ryoga reared his arm back and threw the, now opened, umbrella
forward. It spun like a Frisbee through the air and sailed past the
Chinese boy, before turning like a boomerang just behind him. It tore
a groove into the ground, and stopped just before it reached Ryoga.
Mousse froze as the weapon passed on both sides of him and raised
his arms in a defensive posture. "Well, that's not bad. You don't have
a weapon anymore though."
"I don't need one anymore," replied the lost boy as he charged
forward like a bull.
"Fool!" snapped Mousse as he jumped up and back, waving his arms
in the air and sending a hail of weapons at his opponent.
Ryoga continued to run, pulling a bandanna off of his head as he
went. He swatted aside a few of the better aimed weapons and wove
around the ropes and chains that now seemed to fill the air.
Mousse came down and gasped in shock as soon as he landed. Ryoga's
fist connected with his chest, sending him flying back. The lost boy
had met him on the ground, and was covered in ropes, a few of the
weapons even hung from his arms as he stood there, still extended from
the punch. He slowly relaxed as Mousse lay on the ground just outside
the ring. The Chinese boy merely stood up slowly and frowned.
"You're stronger than you look."
"And you're not," replied Ryoga calmly. "Give up, you can't beat
"Bastard!" snarled Mousse as he jumped into the battle once again.
A long spear came from within his robes and slashed down at Ryoga. The
lost boy blocked the strike with is forearm and fell backwards. The
spearhead looked ridiculous, nothing more than a wooden duck.
"Is this some kind of joke?" snapped Ryoga angrily. His frown
deepened as a hole opened up from the duck's rear. Several small white
objects fell from inside, and exploded as they hit the ground around
"Heh, so my techniques are weak are they?" chuckled Mousse as he
looked at the smoke cloud that now billowed from the area where his
opponent had once been standing.
Mousse stood gloating for another moment, and was about to turn
away, when he noticed something move within the cloud. His hand shot
up as it jumped out at him and stabbed through it with a small knife.
He blinked and looked at the object he had caught and frowned deeply.
"You think that was enough to beat me? You're a bigger fool than I
thought!" snarled Ryoga as he became visible as the smoke cleared. His
clothes were singed slightly, but otherwise he seemed unharmed, if not
a little dirty. In his hands, several bandanna's spun around, he
released them all at once, pulling still more off of his head as
Mousse was forced to jump back and dodge.
"How many of those things are you wearing?" snapped Mousse
"How many more toys do you have hidden in those robes?" replied
Ryoga as he jumped up towards the Chinese boy.
Mousse grit his teeth in pain as one of the cloth disks swooped
down on him from behind and slammed into the back of his head, sending
him down from the air. Ryoga was waiting, and before he even hit the
ground, Mousse's face connected with Ryoga's knee.
The fight was over.
"Impressive," commented Cologne as she hauled Mousse off to the
Ryoga merely nodded and turned to leave the ring. He walked over
to Ranma's side and sat down, not caring where he was.
"Not bad Hibiki," commented Ranma coolly.
"Of course not, I've been training to beat your little brother
haven't I?" replied the lost boy coolly.
Ukyo clutched at Genryu's arm and glared at the boy for a moment.
"Eh? Who's this?" he said eyeing her for a moment.
"My wife," replied Genryu calmly.
Ryoga raised his eyebrow slightly and nodded. "Oh yeah? Good luck
with him lady." It didn't sound all that insulting really.
"Whatever Ryoga," grumbled Genryu lazily.
"Well, I wonder who's next?" said Ranma as he looked up at the
ring again. Hakama hadn't moved, and the crowd was still cheering from
the end of the last fight. He paused as a shadow fell over him and
turned slowly around. "Who?"
"You, must be Ranma," said Kodachi Kuno with a wry smile on her
face. "Most impressive."
"Sister..." warned Kuno as he stepped up beside her.
"Late are you?" said Ranma as he turned away from them with
"Yes, Mr. Hakama is aware that we would be, my sister enjoys being
fashionably late to these events," commented Kuno with a rough snort.
"Indeed, I had also wanted to meet the man who would destroy our
family blade in such a brash manner," commented Kodachi as she eyed
"Well now you have, now leave," snorted Ranma rudely. He did not
want to deal with this right now.
"I cannot, for I must first win this title, and further humiliate
my old rival. Her name is Akane Tendo, perhaps you know her?" Kodachi
turned and glared at the now fuming Akane.
"Akane? You're going to fight Akane?" Ranma started to laugh out
loud for a moment. "Get your hands off me, Akane's going to tear you
apart little girl."
Kodachi seemed unperturbed by this announcement. "Oh my, such a
wonderful personality. Brother, I want him," cried the girl as she
fell down beside, the still sitting, Ranma and latched onto his back.
Akane looked at the scene in annoyance and turned away after a
moment. It was a disgusting display on Kodachi's part, and she knew
Ranma well enough that he wouldn't have anything to do with it.
Kuno almost attacked Ranma right there. "I forbid it!"
"Put that thing away Kuno, there's no way I'd go out with your
sister," said Ranma calmly.
"So! You hate me?" cried Kodachi with tears in her eyes as she
released him and fell to the ground with a handkerchief in her hands.
"Boy, you do catch on quick don't you?" snorted Ranma as he looked
back at her indifferently. "I broke that sword for a reason little
girl. Go away, before you make me angry."
Kodachi just looked up at him with wide eyes. The tears had been
fake of course, but this... No one had ever spoken to her in such a
way before. Her demure tears had always worked before, but this boy...
he was different. She stood up calmly and started to walk away from
"Saotome! How dare you speak to my sister in such a way!" roared
Kuno as he ran up and put his face into Ranma's.
"Would you rather I told her I liked her and married her? Or
perhaps I should have just slapped her? Really Kuno, the way I handled
that was in both our best interest, now go away. We have a battle to
fight right now."
Kuno paused and calmed down visibly. "Very well, we shall settle
this later Saotome."
"Fine by me," said the boy with another shrug. He sat down and
waited for the next announcement.
It didn't take long.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are ready to begin again! Next up for
your personal enjoyment. Two devastatingly familiar figures! Kodachi
Kuno, ruler of the Rhythmic Gymnastics Martial Arts Competition, and
our own, Akane Tendo!"
Akane smirked as she stood up and glared at Kodachi. "That was
fast," she commented idly.
"Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Well, it seems we meet again little
girl," said Kodachi snidely as she leapt into the ring acrobatically.
"I'll show you how little I am Kodachi," snapped Akane as she
cracked her knuckles.
"We'll see about that," countered the gymnast with a dark smile
appearing on her lips.
"Keep thinking that way, you're not in a gymnastics competition
this time. This is my turf Kodachi, and you couldn't attack me before
the match either."
"Yes, I know. Hakama would not divulge the identity of the other
contestants to me. Such a boring man." Kodachi spun her ribbon in the
air lazily for a moment and then smiled at Akane again. "I shouldn't
have too much trouble though."
Akane merely smiled and punched her palm in anticipation.
Hakama raised his arm into the air, and brought it down. "Fight!"
Three words I know you don't want to hear...To be continued...
Next time: The Tournament: Round 2
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