Subject: [FFML2] (fanfic)(Ranma) Same Old Different Story ch. 2 (formerly Here We Go Again)
From: "Hans Holm" <>
Date: 2/11/2001, 6:53 AM
To: <>


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Well, I've heard from all my pre-readers except for the one who
warned me that he was unreliable, so...
Hopefully, nobody's used this title for a Ranma fic yet.
This has happened:
Not very much. Lin Lin complained about the lack of good boyfriend-
material, was late for school and ran into Kazumi Ono, the new
transfer student and Doctor Tofu's cousin. She later got into a fight
with him as he wouldn't admit that being knocked down by running
into someone doesn't count as a defeat. He had no idea what she was
talking about. This turned into an argument that gave the teachers (at
least) Ranma-Akane flashbacks. A re-match for the next day was
agreed to. Ran Ran started to take bets on the outcome.
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 etc. does not belong to me, but to Rumiko
Takahashi and others whom I can't quite remember at the moment.
I merely use them for what might be a blatant copyright infringement
or possibly acceptable under the fair use doctrine. Since most new
characters can trace their origin back to the copyright above, I
probably can't claim any rights to them either.

- chapter 2
 A Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction by Hans Holm
<thought>, used inconsequently
The big day dawned. Jubilant crowds filled the streets. Orchestras
played. Streamers, confetti and small members of the public sailed
through the air. But never mind that. Let us instead concentrate on
Nerima, Tokyo, Japan, where, in particular, two martial artists
dragged themselves blearily from their respective beds.
Despite this, Lin Lin felt surprisingly good. This was brought to an
abrupt end when Ran Ran asked if she was ready for her big date.
Still, it was nothing that an afternoon of jerk-bashing wouldn't cure.
It wouldn't be that terrible if she lost either, would it...NO, what was
she thinking? Why couldn't it have been a nice, considerate guy like
Ranma, instead of this...this obnoxious jerk! If he'd been more like
Ranma, she might even have considered losing on purpose.
Kazumi's day, on the other hand, began by having a two-year old
check if he was sleeping by opening his eyelids. It was not a good
way to start the day. It was not what Mrs. Ono had wanted when she
asked her oldest son to see if Kazumi was sleeping either. Kazumi
still hadn't come to any conclusion about what to do with Lin Lin
(well, certain parts of his mind were quite definite on what they
wanted). She had made him late for his first day at his new school,
as well as knocked him out. He really wanted to defeat her for that,
but if what his cousin's wife said was true, he'd be stuck with her as
a girlfriend if he won. If he lost, whatever reputation as a martial artist
he might have had would be lost too and replaced by that of a wimp.
Then she would probably keep on beating him up on a regular basis as
well. A draw, then. He'd fight defensively and try to drag it out until
she tired and agreed to call it a draw. Yes, that was it. She had to tire
of it sooner or later, even if it took a dozen re-fights before she gave
* * * * * *
The school day was remarkably calm, as everybody was waiting for
the big fight. Lin Lin and Kazumi engaged in low-level verbal and
ocular warfare (which everybody else interpreted as teasing and
staring lovingly into each other's eyes, respectively), while Ran Ran
continued on her quest for a working betting pool. Finally it was
Most of Furinkan's teachers and students, as well as several
passers-by gathered near the football field in anticipation.
"What are they fighting about, again?"
"She says he didn't defeat her, so she wanted a re-fight."
"It's a martial artist thing, I guess."
"I still don't get why they're fighting...I mean, they've been flirting
with each other all day."
"As I said, it must be a martial artist thing. How many of Ranma's
gang were able to solve matters in a civilised manner?"
"Yeah, and Lin Lin's one of those Chinese Amazons too."
"So she must really like him."
"Or maybe she's just happy another martial artist showed up."
"Or she's not, so she's trying to chase him off."
"But why is he fighting? If he's Doctor Tofu's cousin he must have
told him about the Amazons."
"Well, maybe he likes her too."
The noise of the crowd died down as Ran Ran walked onto the field
with a microphone, followed by the combatants.
"Thank you for coming, everybody", Ran Ran announced, "but
before I introduce today's fighters, I'd like to take this
opportunity...". She signalled an unseen assistant and music began to
play over the P.A. system.
%Sometime I wonder by the look in your eyes
When I'm standing beside you there's a fever burning inside
Is there another in your memory?
Do you think of that someone when you hear that special melody?
I always stop and think of you especially
when the words of a love song touch the very heart of me
There'll be sad songs to make you cry, love songs often do
They can touch the heart of someone new
saying I love you, I love you
I often wonder how it could be you loving me
two hearts in perfect harmony
I'll count the hours until that day
the rhapsody plays a melody for you and me
Until the moment you give your love to me
You're the one I care for, the one I will wait for
There'll be sad songs to make you cry, love songs often do
They can touch the heart of someone new
saying I love you, I love you
There'll be sad songs to make you cry, love songs often do
They can touch the heart of someone new
saying I love you, I love you...%
"And now introducing first, from Sasebo, Kyushu, Japan and
weighing in at 150 pounds - KAZUMI ONO!!". Kazumi, starting
to get into the thing, bowed and started posing - earning him cheers
from the crowd and a very dark look from Lin Lin.
"And next, from Joketsuzoku, Qinghai, China and weighing in at
mmffll...", Ran Ran was interrupted by Lin Lin clamping her hand
over Ran Ran's mouth, "OK, OK - LIN LIN!!".
Lin Lin confined herself to a small bow, but the crowd cheered
"You both know what the stakes are in this fight?"
Kazumi and Lin Lin nodded, and took up their stances.
Lin Lin started off with a series of kicks, this time Kazumi dodged all
of them.
"You think I'm going to fall for the same thing twice?", he taunted her
only to be met with a flurry of punches and snap kicks.
<She's fast. I'd better put some distance between us. Then I'll have
time to think of something.> A series of back-flips brought Kazumi
out of Lin Lin's reach. This didn't last long as she closed the distance
with a quite impressive flying kick. Since Kazumi got out of the way
this resulted in a Lin Lin making a quite impressive furrow in the
football field. It made her skirt less restrictive, too, and much more
<That didn't work...her glasses!...she can't fight what she can't see.>
As Lin Lin was getting back up, Kazumi charged in close to grab her
glasses. Lin Lin recovered faster than he had expected and met him
with a throw, taking advantage of his momentum. She attempted
to follow up with a stamp-kick as Kazumi rolled out of the way.
Then he threw a handful of mud in her face to get some breathing time
and, more importantly, some distance.
<That coward! Resorting to mud-slinging!"> Failing to find
something to clean her glasses on, she chose to throw them in what
she assumed was the general direction of her sister for safe-keeping.
"Hey, she threw away her glasses! Isn't she, like, blind without
"Well, Hiromi, her brother used to fight without his glasses a lot.
"It might be a power-up move, you know, like when a wrestler pulls
down one of his shoulder straps or gets a seizure in the ring.
Becoming invincible."
"And let's not forget that during their senior year, Mousse beat Ranma
several times without his glasses."
There were scattered boos from the crowd, which was less than
impressed by what amounted to a two-man game of very near-sighted
girl's buff. It didn't help that Kazumi, sticking to his game plan, was
keeping well away from Lin Lin. However, when somebody started a
'boring' chant, he changed his mind.
<She's practically helpless now. I might as well entertain the crowd
while we wait for her to tire.>
He started off by simply running past her, just out of reach, to get her
and the crowd's attention. He continued by back-flipping and
cartwheeling around her, while still keeping just out of reach. Then,
getting overconfident, he tried to dive over her. She caught him.
"Ouch. That must have hurt."
"That was some kind of power bomb variation, wasn't it. Is she
really allowed to do that, Ran Ran? It's not a Kung Fu move, is it?"
"What are you talking about, Rie. That's...uh...Rabbit Pounding
Rice Cakes. Yeah, that's it! Cologne used it a lot when she was
"Hey, he's still moving! He's rolling away from her!"
"Well, she couldn't use full power could she? He wouldn't be much
use as a husband paralysed from the neck down, would he?"
Showing admirable fighting spirit or incredible stupidity, Kazumi was
soon back on his feet. He stayed well away from Lin Lin while trying
to catch his breath. Eventually the chant started again and once again
Kazumi reacted in a suicidally Pavlovian way. After another series of
flips and cartwheels, he decided to go under her this time and tried to
dive between her legs.  A person less interested in showing off would
have slid on his stomach or maybe his back, if he had even done it at
all. Kazumi chose to slide on his knees and bend back in sort of a
limbo-dancing position. At least the crowd enjoyed it.
He tried to not think of where his face was (light blue with white
bunnies!?) and focused on pushing himself up off the ground.
<That doesn't feel like the ground...and the crowd seems very
loud...and she's screaming too...uh-oh!>
Fortunately for him, quick reflexes and the awkward position
prevented him from being punted clear off the field. But whether
a softer impact when landing after a hard two-footed kick to the
stomach really matters, can be discussed.
As Lin Lin picked herself off the ground, one of Ran Ran's
associates ran onto the field with her now-cleaned glasses and
pointed her in Kazumi's direction. Seeing Kazumi on his hands and
knees, Lin Lin charged in to finish him off. What she didn't see was
the unusually large and blue beetle that was making its way towards
her. With an unusually loud crunch her foot turned the beetle into an
unusually blue and slippery mess which in turn made her lose her
balance. When Kazumi looked up he saw Lin Lin's face approaching
as she performed an unplanned flying head butt.
It didn't quite work.
* * * * * *
When Lin Lin woke up she found herself staring at a vaguely familiar
ceiling and tried to work out where she was and why. Then it hit her:
"Aiyah!! What am I doing in Tofu's clinic?!...and where are my
"You got knocked unconscious", answered Doctor Tofu, "Kazumi and
Ran Ran were worried so they brought you here.".
"And my clothes?"
"They got so dirty and torn, that even Kasumi said they're
unsalvageable. Ran Ran left some clean clothes for you.".
He indicated a blue Chinese-style jacket and a red pair of pants,
neatly folded on a chair next to the bed.
"Could you turn around so I can get dressed?"
"Yo Tofu, has she...", Kazumi said as he entered the room.
"Aiyah! Don't look! Pervert!", was Lin Lin's response, as she, still
jacket-less, tried to both cover up and find something to throw at him.
Kazumi muttered something about her lack of cuteness as he ducked
out through the door and went to look for something for his nosebleed.
He'd tell Mrs. Ono that the tomboy threw a bottle in his face, which
wasn't entirely untrue anyway.
"Kazumi, could you follow Lin Lin home to make sure she gets home
safely", Doctor Tofu asked.
"Why me?", Kazumi wondered.
"Well, she IS your fiancee now", Mrs Ono pointed out.
"I don't need anyone to follow me home. Especially not that pervert!",
Lin Lin responded.
"Now, now, you took a pretty nasty hit.", Doctor Tofu said, tapping
 Lin Lin in the small of the back, "We have to make sure you get
home safely.".
"Go away! I don't need you to follow me home!"
"Do you think I actually want to follow a violent maniac like you!"
"Violent? I'll show you violent!" WHAK, WHAK, WHAK!
"Hey!...Stop it!...Haven't you heard of the laws against spousal
abuse?" WHAK, WHAK, WHAK!
"We are NOT married!" WHAK, WHAK, WHAK!
"Your great-grandmother...stop it!...seemed quite keen on it:"
"Then marry her!" WHAK, WHAK, WHAK!
"A dried-up monkey instead, no way!" WHAK, WHAK, WHAK!
Lin Lin's whacking came to a sudden end as her legs gave way.
"Oh man, I KNEW something like this would happen. Do you
"Get lost! I don't need your help!"
"I suppose you'll walk on your hands the rest of the way!"
"Damn right! Just watch!"
Then they both found out that the jacket didn't stay in place when
its wearer was upside-down. Kazumi looked the other way, while
he tried to hide a nosebleed and both were trying to find words.
<Aw, what the hell.> "Come on, I'll carry you."
"Otherwise we'll stay here the rest of the night, right?...I won't tell
anybody if you don't."
And so, as Kazumi carried Lin Lin home on his back, they were
united in thought: <I'm going to get them for this.>.
End chapter two
Regardless of canon, Lin Lin's view of Ranma is based on two things:
Shampoo's loveblinded descriptions in "the good old days" and
Ranma's behaviour (mostly towards Akane) after the twins relocated
to Japan.
The song is There'll Be Sad Songs To Make You Cry by Billy Ocean.
(I'm not sure if the lyrics are exactly right or the lines end in the right
place). I would have preferred a more obscure song (this one
apparently reached no. 1 in the U.S. in the mid-eighties), but some
people felt that the original choice was inappropriate for a sixteen
year old girl to sing (nobody helped very much by offering any better
choices, though). And this one suits the story better, anyway. Since
Ran Ran probably will sing again, I need suggestions (including
where to find the lyrics), preferably not to recent or well-known ones.
(The song above was sort of a desperation choice).

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