***Author's Note: Why is this in script form? Because it was quicker to
write that way. :)
Quantum Destinies: Breaking the Fourth Wall
*** Earth 0.000,0.000
(The scene: Ranma's bedroom at the Saotome household. He is tapping
away at the keyboard of his computer with an intent look on his face.
Suddenly he stops.)
QD Ranma: I don't believe it.
QD Nabiki: What don't you believe, Ranma-kun? (She has just come into
the room carrying a cup of tea.)
QD Ranma: Well, you remember my theory about using the resonator to
transmit and receive data from a computer in one timeline with one in
another?
QD Nabiki: Yeah. Did you finally get it to work?
QD Ranma: Yeah, but you would not believe how much of a pain it was to
establish a static interdimensional IP address. Anyway, that's not the
most interesting thing. Look what I found. (Moves aside slightly from
the computer monitor.)
QD Nabiki: What's this FFML thing you're getting messages from?
QD Ranma: It's an email-based mailing list where people post stories.
Look, there's a whole bunch of them about us.
QD Nabiki: Us? You mean you and me?
QD Ranma: No, _all_ of us. Your sisters, me, my mom and dad, your
friend Yohko, and a lot of other people we know. There's hundreds of
alternate worlds described here. There's even one story about our world
in particular, written by this guy named Jurai Knight.
QD Nabiki: That's a silly name for a writer.
QD Ranma: Well, it's just a pen name. He also uses his real name. But
look at this... the FFML is shutting down, and he's asked if anyone
wants to receive his stories as private email.
QD Nabiki: So how many people want to read about us? Five? A dozen
maybe?
QD Ranma: He's gotten over seventy requests now.
QD Nabiki: You're kidding. I may be that interesting to read about, but
_you_? (teasing tones)
QD Kodachi: Don't be ridiculous. They're obviously waiting to see
Saotome-kun finally profess his undying love for me. (Sighs and smiles)
QD Ukyo: Ha! He's going to end up marrying me. There's no way that a
ninja of my superior capabilities is going to lose out to a couple of
posers like you two.
QD Ranma: Why are all of you in my room? (plaintive tones)
Shampoo 1/2 Ranma: Better you than me, buddy. Of course, if it wasn't
for a top-rated author helping out Jurai Knight in the very beginning,
like that suave and articulate DB Sommer who wrote _my_ story, no one
would be very interested in yours. (Strikes a conceited-looking pose)
QD Ranma: Is that so? (angry)
QD Shampoo: Is Shampoo too late for farewell spamfic?
QD Kuno: Verily there can be no depths of depravity to which thou
wouldst not stoop, eh Ranma Saotome? Keeping all these young lovelies
to thyself is a crime. Come to me, Nabiki Tendo, my darling!
(QD Nabiki bashes QD Kuno into unconsciousness quickly)
QD Akane: Ranma, my love!
QD Ranma: Gah! (hides behind Nabiki, Kodachi, and Shampoo)
QD Genma: That's enough fooling around, boy! As for the rest of you,
take your bows now and thank everyone who has been reading so far.
(The entire cast of QD takes a bow to the audience)
Entire cast (simultaneously): Thank you!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The End
Final Note: I want to say a sincere thank you for those who wrote me
about receiving my story. I was seriously expecting maybe a dozen or so
people at most to respond to my message. When the number passed fifty
within 24 hours, I was stunned. Thank you. Now I have to figure out if
the number of responses affected my ego or my innate shyness more. :)
I know the FFML is not going away forever, but the version that exists
here and now has a lot of memories tied up in it for me. Thank you to
everybody who pre-read for me, or otherwise helped a fumbling first-time
author get better at the writing craft.
That's about it. My last message to the FFML before it closes. Will
the last person out take care to shut the lights off and lock up when
they leave? :)
Take care,
Steven Thesken/Jurai Knight
January 31, 2001