The very last, ultimate, final, end of all ends, decision.
Ranma stood against the tree in the schoolyard. His escape route cut off
by two frowning women. The group of fiancees.
"Well?" said Ukyo impatiently.
"Ranma hurry up and choose Shampoo," snapped the Amazon agrily.
Akane stood with her mallet barely hidden behind her back, just off to
the side. Not that she was interested in what the idiot told them.
"I uhh," stammered Ranma as he stalled desperately for time.
"Shampoo first!" snorted the Amazon.
"Ranchan wouldn't betray his oldest friend, and cutest fiancee!"
retorted Ukyo.
"Look, maybe if I..."
"Decide already!" snapped both girls in unison.
Nabiki looked at the scene from her seat nearby and shook her head. He
glanced over at her for a moment and started to sweat even more.
Ranma was having a mental conversation with himself at the time though.
"Great! Now what genius?" screamed his brain.
"You're the one who is supposed to do things like this!" he replied to
it.
"Maybe heart can help us?" retorted the Brain.
Heart looked up and shook it's imaginary head from side to side
violently. "No way! You're on your own buddy!"
"Great, a lot of help you are!" retorted Ranma mentally.
"How about stomach? Pop seems to do all right with him," offered Brain.
"I'm hungry," whined Stomach.
"Great, nothing," grumbled Ranma bitterly.
"Sorry, there's no way out," said Brain with a sigh. "We might as well
just get this beating over with.""
Hear interjected. "Hey! Maybe if we call Akane uncute again, she'll just
hit us away from this mess!"
"We're trying to avoid that!" replied Ranma and Brain.
"Oh," muttered Heart.
"So now what? We have to do something!" cried Ranma desperately.
"Let's fight our way out!" exclaimed Ego. "We can take em!"
"We don't hit girls! Especially not our friends!" replied Conscience.
"They're going to kill us!" cried Anxiety.
Shampoo and Ukyo were both tapping their respective feet with
impatience. It was clear their tempers would not hold out much longer.
"Come on Ranchan! You've got to pick one of us! I'm tired of waiting
around!" snapped Ukyo.
"Yes! Ranma make final decision now!" agreed Shampoo.
Finally, Ranma found his salvation. Tatewaki Kuno walked by and gave him
a dirty glare for a moment. He continued past him and did nothing though.
"That's it!" cried Brain in triumph.
Ranma looked at both girls and spread his arms out. "Alas! I cannot
decide! I love them both!" he cried joyously. He began to eat the
Okonomiyaki and the Ramen together.
"What?!" cried the two girls in shock. Before they could say anything
more, it was over. Both meals had been devoured.
"That dope," grumbled Akane as she stalked away. "He's too stupid for me
to bother pounding him."
"We did it!" cried all the mental voices inside his head at once. Ranma
breathed a sigh of relief and slumped down against the tree trunk. The
fiancee's dispersed peacefully, giving each other hateful glares.
"Can we never do that again? I don't know if I can handle it," muttered
Stomach a little sickly.
The End.
I'm surprised no one else thought of this. Oh well. That's my
contribution to the 'Final Decision' parodies. Ja!
C&C to Carrotglace@juno.com