davidpascal@juno.com wrote:
49 More Appearances of Sailor Moon is longer than than the FFML message
size-limits allow.
Geeze, you ain't kiddin'. Almost 900K? Yow.
A few comments:
Overall, *hilarious*. Loved it.
Put the crossword puzzle in a fixed-width font.
"Less than ichi": Princeton has a couple of fraternities, but they're
small and of recent vintage. (Woodrow Wilson, when President of Princeton
a hundred or so years ago, banned fraternities from the campus, and only
recently have they started sneaking back in.) Use "eating club" instead
of "fraternity", and you'll get a better sense of verisimilitude. ("Eating
clubs" took the place of fraternities at Princeton for the last century or
so.)
"internal rhyme" reminds me strongly of George Carlin's "Hair" poem;
intentional, or coincidence?
"blurb:" Repeated instances of "49 More Appearance" (singular). Also "is
one naval" should be "is one navel", unless you're intentionally making a
sailor/navy pun; the context is a bit obscure, so I'm not sure.
"dreckov:" "the Ranmanoff Dynasty"? You are an evil man.
"chthulhu:" First, it's spelled "Cthulhu" (most of the time, at least). And
second, that's one of the better Lovecraft pastiches I've seen in a *long*
time.
"senshi and senshibility:" I'd horsewhip you for that title, if I had a
horse...
Overall, a lot of fun, even the parts I didn't have the proper background
to appreciate. Good work.
-- Bob
--
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Bob Schroeck
http://www.eclipse.net/~rms rms@eclipse.net
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"It's my exam on Suicide tonight, so it'll be really tough to survive (and I
guess if I survive it it will mean I've failed...)" -- Malka Susswein
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