Fair warning: Only Nabiki appears here.
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Wheel of Fire Special #4: Inner Circle
Written by Razorclaw X (spiceoflife@NYChotmail.com)
http://www.crosswinds.net/~slythe/ranma/ranff.html
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and characters belong to Rumiko
Takahashi. And all that other good stuff. Proper
licenses belong to respective properties and
characters. The manga has precedence over material in
the anime.
This file can be freely distributed so long as it
appears in its complete form and proper credit. No part
may be reproduced for monetary gain without permission
from the author.
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# You are now logged onto #NexusZero
# The number of users in channel are: 17
# The current topic is: "Goose... cooked, or steamed?"
BWidow> Hey there
Takeshi> Well if it isn't Grand Master Shi!
Warlock> I see all the usual suspects are here
# CSpider has joined #NexusZero
Warlock> Glad you could make it, Kanna
CSpider> Hey Shi. It's hard finding a good connection
point in Sticksville, so I'm payin' out of my ass for
satellite linkup.
Jerkmeister> Is that everybody?
Partyhorse> Probably... unless Death (Shi) over there
wants to pull in more girlfriends into this club
Warlock> That's MASTER (Shi) to you, bud
CSpider> C'mon, you know Horse just does that to get
you riled up. Why are you so gullible?
BWidow> Actually I think it's kinda funny. I used to
pull that kanji stuff on Kuno, too.
BWidow> So where is your girlfriend, anyway?
Warlock> She's not my girlfriend.
CSpider> Gullible.
Warlock> Shizuka stopped by my house earlier today and
asked me for money. Apparently she's going to go out
and buy a new set of clothes or something....
Ziel> That sucks, your girl just wants money.
BWidow> Anything's gotta be better than her tacky
taste. At least she isn't hanging around my house
anymore.
Ziel> What was she doing at YOUR house?
BWidow> (shrug) some badger ate her beads or something
like that and it went spastic, then she went spastic
CSpider> Warlock: So you gave her the cash
Warlock> If I didn't I wouldn't be here, would I? :P
Jerkmeister> LOL you suck
Ziel> Ask her out already!
Warlock> No
Partyhorse> Hey CS, how's it hangin' in Sticksville?
CSpider> Terrible. Not a decent bath for miles. My
hobby these days is shining my blade.
Partyhorse> That bad?
CSpider> No, not really. Just that everyone seems to
want a piece of me these days, asking me if such-and-
such is a good idea like I'm some wiseman. I swear I'll
kick Mousse's ass for dragging me out here. I think
that weenie Wash is coming on to me.
Takeshi> Umm... great.
Ziel> What? You blow the bandwidth again?
Takeshi> I didn't think Kanna'd be back this soon
Ziel> Or was that porn really, really bad?
CSpider> So what were the odds?
Partyhorse> haha... you owe me 2000 yen now! :)
CSpider> That's it? I thought I'd be worth more than
that...
Warlock> I think you should've graduated first
CSpider> Why?
Warlock> I mean, shit, you were almost through and now
you take a leave. What the hell were you thinking?
Ziel> same I can say for you, Shi
CSpider> I can finish when I feel like it. It's not
like I can direct a war every day
Warlock> Ziel: I'm more respectable than you anyway
BWidow> Warlock: Yeah right
Ziel> Warlock: Until I get Interpol on your ass :)
Partyhorse> Not this again
BWidow> What?
Partyhorse> Oh right, you're new, so you don't know
CSpider> Oh god, here we go again
Acid> CS: if only horse would just shut up about it
Acid> Crap, wrong window
Partyhorse> BWidow: Warlock got really well to hack
into the government computers, but apparently it was a
setup. This was a while ago. Thing is they really
wanted to see how safe their systems were.
Partyhorse> Acid: Freudian slip? :P
Partyhorse> BWidow: Of course Warlock figured it out
on his own, but he did it anyway because they paid him
good.
BWidow> He let himself get caught?
Warlock> Hey, stop talking as if I'm not here! :)
Partyhorse> BWidow: No. Best part is while he was
going through the dummy files Warlock threw in a bunch
of notes telling them how easy it was. He then got the
dummy files and gave them back to his employers,
throwing in another note
Warlock> It was "Pay me twice my fee and I'll fix your
leaks." They didn't go for it, those bastards...
Warlock> Although the worst shit was this: the dummies
were on the same server as the real one, so I threw in
a bunch of plants so I can get in easier later. It's
good that the government pays me to take advantage of
them :)
BWidow> So what kinds of stuff have you stolen?
Warlock> Nothing, really. I just like looking at the
stuff and keeping tabs on everything. Information from
the highest sources, you know.
Ziel> And that nobody smart would pay his fee ;)
CSpider> and then of course they want his ass, too.
Jerkmeister> Plenty of dumbshits get fed some really
bad stuff
Warlock> LOL, I remember sending that CIA loser a virus
that was supposed to be Iraqi weapons placement plans,
and boy was that shithead mad
BWidow> But doesn't that mean you went back on your
pay?
Warlock> No. I did give him the plans, but he was too
busy dealing with the virus. Why can't these spy guys
do their own dirty work? They're SUPPOSED to be better
than I am!
CSpider> You get exactly what you pay for....
Acid> Only the DUMB Feds turn to guys like us. The
SMART Feds recruit help
Ziel> BWidow: Warlock hates working for any of the
big groups like government agencies and mafias, because
they always try to force him to choose sides. So he
gives them incentive NOT to hire him again.
Ziel> It's good to be neutral if you're mercenary
Warlock> And sometimes it doesn't work, and they still
hire me again anyway
Acid> It's not like everyone's Bond or stuff, you
know
BWidow> Ziel: I see
Partyhorse> Bond's no spy, he's a pimp
CSpider> Bond's also phony, too
Acid> CS: Is not! :)
Warlock> That reminds me... another funny story
Ziel> really
BWidow> What this time?
* Ziel hides in a corner
Warlock> Some loser wanted to know how to mod his
Playstation
Takeshi> Someone actually paid you for that?
Warlock> Actually, I wasn't paid...
Ziel> wait, I think you told me this already
Warlock> Some crackhead on #nukers gave out my contact
address I used to have to another shithead lamer...
this was back when there were no such thing as standard
mod chips, I'm telling ya, so knowing how to do it was
a demanded skill.
CSpider> Disc swap was simpler...
Warlock> Course, it's a piece of cake to figure it
out, but it takes too long to make my own chips. So
this lamer contacts me about modding his stupid PSX
and I think I'll play with him
Warlock> So I lured the lamer on a private, secure
channel and I walked him through the process, without
the need of a chip. What I did was tell this sucker
how to fry his console, and he fell for it.
BWidow> You're sick
CSpider> BWidow: the best stuff in life doesn't come
free, either
Warlock> Wait, it's not over. So this lamer fried his
PSX, and I'm sitting there laughing my ass off while
he's making all sorts of threats on me... like he got
my IP address and can take away my service...
Ziel> And if he tried he'd only run into a dummy
Warlock> He even told me his pop was a lawyer and he
could sue my ass
Partyhorse> LOL!
Acid> lol
Warlock> Later on I looked into this lamer again, and
he got arrested for fraud. Seems he bought another PSX
at the store and tried to replace it with his fried
one, and return it
Partyhorse> Serves him right
Takeshi> loser
BWidow> My god, Shi, you guys are sick
* Jerkmeister notes, "That is the understatement of
the year!"
CSpider> Welcome to the club, so glad you noticed
Ziel> It takes a certain kind of person to become part
of the Inner Circle, you know. Apparently Warlock
thinks you got the right stuff....
Partyhorse> yeah, he spills the beans on every girl he
runs across. Where's Chika these days?
Warlock> Working. She's respectable now. And Shizuka
figured it out by herself, and Nabiki here just got a
bit too close.
BWidow> It's Akane's fault. She told me you were an
information broker.
Ziel> And you just put two-and-two together, huh?
That's either really smart, or really dumb.
Warlock> That's what I get for getting involved too
deep.
BWidow> I'd think you'd have to kill your sister for
leaving
Partyhorse> Dude, we're not pirates
Jerkmeister> Horse: Mafia
Ziel> All our goals is to become respectable
Partyhorse> Jerk: whatever
BWidow> Riiight...
CSpider> BWidow: What good is being so gifted if you
can't share it with the rest of the world? That's what
respectability is all about; we get recognized.
CSpider> As it stands we're just underground, and that
is where we're known only. Kinda sucks.
Acid> Ego hurts so much it bleeds...
Takeshi> Speak for yourself, I like things the way they
are :)
Ziel> That's because you've got a shitload of porn and
warez on your HD!
Acid> Ziel: lol it's so true he'd land himself in jail
for life with all that shit
BWidow> I thought Warlock was up with that warez junk
Warlock> It's way too much trouble for my tastes, and
besides, this way splits the load. I'm the boss, I
delegate the tasks, is all.
Ziel> And you get most of the cut ;)
Acid> Jealous, Ziel?
BWidow> Actually why don't you invite Shizuka into the
circle? She already gets paid a lot of money to do what
she does.
Warlock> I'm not asking her in, she has to WANT in
first
BWidow> What makes you think *I* wanted in?
Ziel> And he doesn't want to work with his girlfriend
Warlock> You came to us. That's good enough for me
Warlock> Ziel: shut up
CSpider> Putting up with Chika was bad enough; she
absolutely sucks, Shi, and you know it.
Acid> what'd you expect from small-scale fish? no
wonder she got respectable first, easy to satisfy
BWidow> Then what am I supposed to be doing, anyway?
Warlock> Don't you know already? I'm training you to
become the new administrator.
Ziel> What?! It's not going to be me? :(
Partyhorse> Umm.. the newbie needs to be shown the
ropes first, Ziel
Warlock> Ziel: I'm not going anywhere for a while, not
until I really become respectable. That's when I'm
leaving; it's just I need more free time to myself
lately.
Ziel> Warlock: Girlfriend...
Warlock> ....
CSpider> ...
Ziel> Damn I want a girlfriend, too
Acid> Ziel: get respectable
Ziel> Acid: now you got me considering it :)
Warlock> dang, brb; looks like Shizu came back
# You are now known as Warlock-away
Ziel> Tell us more loverboy!
* Acid whacks Ziel with a 2 by 4
CSpider> Oh bother, leave him alone this joke is
getting old.
Ziel> So who's tutoring the newbie?
BWidow> I'm still here, you know
CSpider> Not me, I'm busy. I think Warlock's doing it
Acid> Well, ain't she privilaged
BWidow> Jealous?
Acid> I don't care
Ziel> BWidow: Acid and Warlock are old rivals. They're
both into the hacking stuff
Acid> Ziel: which is more than I can say for you. *I*
don't know what you do
Ziel> Acid: I don't do anything :P
Jerkmeister> THAT much is a given....
# You are now known as Warlock
Warlock> Back
Ziel> And...?
CSpider> Took you long enough. What the hell were you
doing?
Warlock> What'd you expect? She finished shopping, and
tried to give me the change back, then went home.
BWidow> And you didn't take it?
Acid> Of course he didn't. He wouldn't be good if he
did
BWidow> What's that supposed to mean?
Warlock> I'm a nice guy ;)
Ziel> When baiting a fish, it's best not to throw
everything you've got into the first go
Acid> Lesson #1 is patience. You can't expect
everything to go your way on the first time
Takeshi> Of course if it does no argument :)
Warlock> Of course that doesn't even begin to cover
the Three Cardinal Rules of the Inner Circle
CSpider> aka the long-winded name for three stupid
rules
BWidow> And they are...?
Warlock> Thought you'd never ask. Rule #1: Do your
best
BWidow> Should've known...
CSpider> Well, duh
Warlock> Rule #2: Once you've given me your best, you
give me even more
Warlock> And Rule #3: Do what I say.
BWidow> Uh, right
Ziel> The last one is the most important, of course.
After that everything is fine and dandy :)
CSpider> It's one of the perks of being a founder of
the Inner Circle.
BWidow> So who are the other founders?
Ziel> The rest of us, mainly, and most of the guys
here were invited, just like you. Acid was invited,
too
Acid> It's nice to have a big ego, but even better to
bounce that ego off others who understand
CSpider> BWidow: Me, Warlock, Ziel, Kurdrac, and
Zeroc
BWidow> You mean friends
Acid> Not necessarily
Jerkmeister> Acid: true
BWidow> CS: the other two don't seem to say anything
CSpider> Oh, they're watching all right, they just
don't say much these days. Busy with other stuff, but
they keep in touch.
Ziel> Zeroc used to be the head guy, but he stepped
down after real life started weighing him down. Got
respectable and all that, and so did Kurdrac
BWidow> So why don't either of you become the new
administrators?
CSpider> I don't have time for that kind of crap
Warlock is doing
Ziel> Hey, sometimes the best seat is behind the
throne :)
Warlock> Whatever
Acid> Basically nobody else wants the job; consider
yourself fortunate
BWidow> Yeah, sure
Partyhorse> Gotta go, Mom's made her caserole
Acid> C'ya later
CSpider> later horse
Takeshi> bye...
* Partyhorse has quit IRC
BWidow> Hmm... dinner's going to be ready soon. I'd
better leave, too
Warlock> BWidow: btw, how's the new line working?
BWidow> Like a dream. Nobody but me knows it's here,
and it's only wired to my room. Everyone thinks I'm
still using the phone line if I'm on the net.
CSpider> That'll only work until someone decides to
call
BWidow> I don't care.
Ziel> Oh yeah, before you go, we gotta lay a few more
ground rules.
Acid> Yeah, you can't go around telling us we're
here; that'd beat the purpose of Nexus Zero
BWidow> Well, duh
CSpider> Hang on, Mousse is begging for attention
again. BRB
* CSpider is now known as CSpider-away
Warlock> BWidow: So long as you're using the account
and line we gave you, your transmissions will be
secure, and all IDs scrambled on a regular basis. Only
log into these places with that line, or you can't get
in. We control who comes in and comes out.
Warlock> Further, if for some reason information of
our existance, and how to get in, become available,
your account will be terminated permanently, and
instead will be routed directly to a porn site of our
choosing.
Ziel> Or at Takeshi's discretion....
Warlock> And should you decide to work against the
interests of the Inner Circle as a whole, no matter who
you are in the chain of command, you'll be hunted down
and dealt with accordingly.
BWidow> Such as?
Acid> We haven't had to do it yet. Don't even tempt us
to remedy that.
Ziel> BWidow: strap you into a prototype Mishima
weapon and hope it blows up
Warlock> You will maintain an air of strict neutrality
in all but the most important matters, which include
alliances, favors, and codes
CSpider-away> and the whims of the founders
Ferret> Ziel: Hey, I saw that!
Jerkmeister> I see Ayame's awake, after all
BWidow> Ferret: You're Ayame Mishima?
Ferret> Who else would use such a dumb name? Of COURSE
I'm here.
Warlock> Yeah, and because of it, Mishima Heavy
Industries is afforded special privilages. Any and all
deals which work against it will be denied, but that
also offers their services to our disposal.
BWidow> Next thing you'll tell me Kuno's part of this,
too
Ferret> Darn straight.
Warlock> BWidow: We've used his services from time to
time, but he ain't a member. We haven't seen it fit to
draw another wealthy member yet.
Ziel> And besides, the guy is stupid enough to think
we're working for HIM
BWidow> Ah, Kasumi's calling... gotta go.
* BWidow has left #NexusZero
Acid> you oughta kick her if she's away for long
Warlock> Acid: Sure.
Acid> You sure you know what you're doing? I mean, to
bring in an outsider specifically to administer us?
Warlock> I've been watching this one for a while. She
doesn't begin to understand the scope of the task,
but she'll manage. Nabiki's just like us, only she's
much more prone to mistakes. I intend to correct that
Ziel> Hah, good luck.
Takeshi> I don't see how she's anything like us.
Ferret> She likes money. Don't we all?
Acid> I could care less about the money; all it does
for me is keep me up and running.
Warlock> Acid: same here. Money is just a byproduct of
my hobby
CSpider-away> but still you can't deny that money
helps heaps
* CSpider-away is now known as CSpider
Takeshi> Yeah, so what if someone offers her loads to
turn us in? Then what?
Jerkmeister> Takeshi: you say that EVERY time a new
guy comes in
Takeshi> hey, we can get put away for years for the
crap we do; international espionage and all
Warlock> That's only assuming they can catch us first.
Me and Acid made several failsafes for that, they
won't ever get past level 1
Acid> And assuming she got to the authorities before
we got to her. We've still got the Section mind-wipe/
suicide drug handy.
Ziel> Warlock: That's what they thought in Eva...
CSpider> Acid: Turning her into a veggie would only
make things look suspicious, I'd prefer selective
memory wiping
CSpider> Eva's just a stupid anime, this is real life
Ferret> CSpider: that may be possible in the near
future... not promising anything, those Section goons
like witholding stuff from my uncle
Warlock> Hey, some people need a hobby...
Ziel> Ferret: Section can suck it, all they do is
twiddle their thumbs
Acid> Except she knows some of us on a first-name
basis, and can finger us. In that case we'd have to
sever ourselves physically for all time.
CSpider> Acid: Ziel can handle Nabiki; she's no
fighter
Ferret> Ziel: Better to be on the inside track than not
at all
CSpider> Her brother-in-law, on the other hand, may be
a bit much for him; he's a toughie
Ziel> CS: What's that? There's someone that's a match
for our resident martial artist?
Warlock> Gotta go, Chika wants my help with her
homework.
Jerkmeister> tell her to stuff it... j/k
Ziel> Cya Warlock
CSpider> Later Shi
Acid> Cya
Warlock> Catch y'all later
# Disconnected
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Author's Rant
Okay, so it was ANC-centric, but like the badger that
haunts these side stories it just won't go away. I
chose to do it in an IRC format because I thought it
could be done... while sitting in IRC. I wanted to see
how much personality I can pull through with simple
lines of text, because it seems to work IRL. It also
gave the opportunity to introduce the Inner Circle, to
which several ANCs belong to, and clear up their
shady roles/relationships they had in WoF. I also
thought I'd introduce Ziel into the mix as well, for
what it's worth.
The deal with the names is this: although the
characters are different the pronounciation for both
'master' and 'death' is 'shi' (the number 'four' is
considered unlucky for this reason, as it is also
pronounced as 'shi'), thus a play on Shion's name akin
to how Nabiki played with Kuno's name at the beginning
of the Ranma series (Kuno wrote his name on the
blackboard, and Nabiki did the same, only with a
different character as an insult, and was changed in
the Viz manga). Also, Shion's name is a play off
'shi-o,' honorable master (Kagami -> mirror, so he's
the mirror master; a master of two worlds, one in
reality and the other in reflection of reality).
BWidow -> Nabiki Tendo; Warlock -> Shion Kagami;
CSpider -> Kanna Rajura; Ferret -> Ayame Mishima;
Ziel -> Ziel Kagura. 'Acid' is a tribute to Hackers;
one of the main characters went by the handle, 'Acid
Burn.' Some of the other screen names are in-tributes
and it's likely most people won't get it anyway.
-- Razorclaw X (spiceoflife@NYChotmail.com)
http://www.crosswinds.net/~slythe/ranma/ranff.html
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