Release 1.2 - Mmm...Cheesesteak
Hmm.
In general, there's many things in this story that I like, though
there are things I don't quite like.
"An unauthorized usage of the ultimate force by a non-aligned being,"
Skuld finished.
I presume this is Ranma doing lightning bolts.
It's strange, doesn't fit.
At least not in the concept of god/goddess using his/her personal powers.
Though if it was caused by Ranma thinking, "God, I wish someone would
get that lazy idiot", I can sorta see this.
In this quaint little village, there exists a square. Normally, this
square had naught but a few children playing in it, or practising their
less
lethal weapons. Today, however, was vastly different. A log had been
suspended in the air from two strong oaken posts set securely into the
ground. Upon this log were two young women, approximately (to
Ranma's
trained eyes) the same height. One, with red hair, fought with a sword,
the
other, with purple hair used two rounded clubs that looked most
unwieldy.
The timing seems improbable, if the timetable is off by 5 months...
"She's bigger than me! Waaaah!"
If it's Jusenkyo-caused chest increase compared to a certain purple-haired
amazon, this shouldn't be so. Unless Shamps had kids, in this 'verse,
already. Or if the author wants so. Whatever. I'm feeling reeeeallly nit-
picky right now, so feel free to completely ignore my comments if you
want.
"Ucchan, you're very pretty. Please stop crying." Please god, let this
work, he thought.
Is Ranma female, currently?
"You think so? Really? Thanks, Ranchan!"
Ranma looked up into the sky. Thank you, he mused.
Heh.
"I'm not silly dressed. I'm not into the pain thing, really...and what
panda? We don't have a panda. The only people here are me, Ukyo,
the Guide, and Pop...who turns into a panda. Damn it, Pop!"
"Growf?"
"I challenge you, outsider male! You no offend Shampoo!"
Ranma the offender.
"POP!"
"SNAP!"
"CRACKLE!"
<But pandas don't have pockets...>
<Exactly, great granddaughter.>
Hm. get rid of the <>:s and just say they're talking in chinese.
Plus, it furthers the storyline and makes for good jokes. Why five
months? The
number five is never wrong.
Er.. What's two plus two?
/me gets pulped to thin paste for being a wiseguy.
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