weirdphoenix wrote:
Do not ask me where this came from, cause I do not know.
I blame this on late nights due to Mountain Dew overdoses.
I'm taking that as a challenge. You want a wierd spamfic/idea?
Here's one, with extra sad attempts at humor sprinkled in for good
measure:
The Ultimate Technique
Disclaimate as appropriate.
'Ranma' is property of Viz, Rumiko Takahashi, and various others who
probably don't approve of my misuse of their property.
Ranma flicked his pigtail over his shoulder, "Feh. I could beat you in
my sleep." Then he turned his back to Ryouga.
Ryouga frowned, "I'll get back at you for this somehow, Ranma!"
***
Ryouga ran. Run Ryouga, run. Why does Ryouga run?
He glanced behind him to be certain, but the thirty-foot tall slavering
creature was still hot on his heels. Teeth sharp enough to cut
through... well, probably not Ryouga's thick skull, but likely the rest
of him, were littered around what the lost boy guessed passed for a
mouth. Ichor and spittle oozed along, and spattered on the pavement
behind it.
Ryouga looked away, unsure if he ever wanted to look again. <Come on!
Come on! HURRY!>
Of course, the problem with a curse is, it never works when you _want_
it to. It only works when you _don't_. A location popped into Ryouga's
head just then, and he changed course, running in a straight line
towards it. Sundry things like stone walls, elderly couples, and Sherman
tanks were simply smashed through without pause, since Ryouga didn't
have the breath to apologize.
If it had occurred to him _where_ he was leading the demon, he might not
have been so eager to go to this one place he could suddenly remember
how to get to. He skidded to a halt, having lost the creature
momentarily, and looked around.
A nearby sign read, 'Tendo Dojo'. Ryouga blinked between gasps for
breath, considering running to spare sweet innocent Akane, and leading
the demon inside to deal with his arch-rival, Ranma. Ryouga knew that
Kuno wasn't Ranma's arch-rival, despite the bokken wielding kendoist's
claims. Ranma even gave him a laminated card that read:
Hibiki Ryouga
Saotome Ranma's Arch-rival
#01 NRMA
The lost boy fished the card out to admire it momentarily, then returned
it to his pocket. As if on cue, or as though the card summoned him,
Ranma sauntered into view, "Hey Ryouga, what's up?"
Ryouga gathered himself, and calmly explained the situation, "TEETH! Big
_NASTY_ teeth! Chasing me! RUN!"
Ranma, a veteran of situations like this nodded, and said, "Ah. The
thirty-foot tall slavering monstrosity breathing down your neck right
now, or the fire-breathing one that attacked this morning?"
After checking behind him, Ryouga consulted his Thesaurus (he carried
everything around with him, you know) and said, "The, uh... former."
Ranma nodded knowingly, "I see. Well, why don't you run around in a
blind panic, and I'll gather some reinforcements to eradicate the
demonic threat? Most of them are probably still at the cafe from this
morning's attack."
Ryouga flashed Ranma a smile, "You're a pal, Ranma!" After a moment of
silence, Ryouga shrugged, "Don't worry, it'll be back to 'Die Saotome'
tomorrow."
Ranma released a breath of relief, "Oh, good. Well, see you later!"
"Take care. Now, let's see... ah yes. AAAAHHH!!" Ryouga ran in a wide
circle, the monster chasing him, while Ranma assembled those who could
be summoned to help fight the demon.
***
Genma observed the demon for a moment, then heaved a sigh. "It's come,
Tendo. The demon we've been fearing for all those years has finally
returned."
Soun consulted his day-planner briefly, then shrugged, "Which one?" He
glanced at the creature briefly, "Ah. That one. Well, it's time to skip
directly to the ultimate technique, then."
The old, bald man glanced around at the assembled heroes. Ranma, Mousse,
Akane, and Kasumi. He knew better than to count himself, since he was
about as far from heroic as you can _get_ and still be related to Ranma.
Why he counted Kasumi... well. "Kasumi, can you make some of the...
special tea?"
Kasumi nodded and returned shortly, while Ranma smacked himself in the
forehead with an open palm, "Pop! Do we _have_ to use that technique?"
Genma nodded gravely, "I'm afraid so, boy."
Everyone else with the exception of Soun blinked. Not that they didn't
normally blink anyway, but they made the kind of synchronized blinks
that made those neat squeegee noises. Kasumi returned with the tea, and
the part rushed outside to see Ryouga still running in circles through
the ruin of a neighbors house. "AAAHHHH- Oh, hi Ranma! HHHHHH!"
Ranma gulped the tea down, and tossed the cup to Genma, then... passed
out.
Akane sweatdropped, while Genma shouted, "Ryouga! This way! Lead it to
Ranma!"
Ryouga did so instantly, and the demon followed even as the lost boy
leapt over Ranma's sleeping body.
>From a safe distance, Akane asked, "What... what did you do to Ranma!?"
Genma sighed, "The ultimate technique. Ranma is invincible in his sleep.
It's the most defensive form of Martial Arts Sleeping known to man."
Akane face-faulted, while Soun nodded knowingly, "Of course. The Tendo
school teaches the most offensive form of Martial Arts Sleeping. Why
else do you think I had to find a house with a separate room for each of
the family member in Tokyo? I'm poor, it wasn't a whim. Anway, that's
why the houses have to be joined."
Meanwhile, Ranma was busy beating the crap out of the demon. In his
sleep.
Notes: Nyah! This idea's been bouncing around in my head for a while.
Caffeine prompted me to get it out.
--
Forgive my spelling,
my U.S. education,
is the thing to blame.