Interesting. A few points:
During the fight scene, I'd recomend using Ranma's name much less. More
pronouns and descriptive references are deffinitely recomended. They break
up the monotony of "Ranma-chan did this and then the monster did that."
Also, varying your sentence construction during aforesaid fight scene is
rarelly unwise. Keeps everything moving faster. And fight scenes, somewhat
by definition, should move really fast.
Now, we only have Ranma's word for it but he thinks he's been inprisoned
for at least a decade. Given his capacity to learn and the base powerlevel
he manifests in the original series, if he really was inprisoned for a
decade, I'd imagine he's nigh unstoppable by now. We don't know whether
the OS has happened, it seems like an alt uni is very possible, but if it
did and _then_ he gets a decade of pure training, he'd be able to mop the
floor with Saffron. I'm surprised he even needs a boat ride.
He interacts a bit too well with the other people for my liking. I mean,
he's been by himself for so long that he's been hallucinating and
inventing friends. And Ranma never was exactly a people person to begin
with.
Please, put the title in the subject. It was barest chance, and Tangent's
comments, that I read this to begin with.
Now you have my curiousity piqued about why he was inprisoned. If I
remember from the teaser, it had something to do with all his associates
combining against him. I'm also interested in finding out what he's going
to do. Considering he's most likely significantly nuts to begin with now,
I think a extremely overpowered and vengence maddened Ranma would not be
someone I'd want as an enemy. Great main character, of course. ~_^
And I'd really like to know how anyone managed to confine him for that
long. So many questions, so little fic. Keep it up.
Miashara