future of humanity. The knowledge that Kodachi Kuno and
Nabiki Tendo would soon be locked in a struggle to see who
would become Empress of the Universe was unnerving. The

# High stakes :)

Genma through these kind's of spells. I finally learned not
to spoil him."

# This should probably be either "these kinds of", plural
  rather than possessive, or just "these kind of".  Personally
  I would go with the latter.

      This was an answer Ukyo found amusing. She broke out
into wild fit of laughter. Nabiki  calmly waited for the
storm to pass.

# extra space between "Nabiki" and "calmly"

     "You think I don't know that? It isn't fair to Ranma,
or you, or me, or my sisters. Genma laid a trap for you, you
know."

     "Huh?"

     "Sure he did. The more women after Ranma, the more
likely Ranma will produce an heir, right?"

# Interesting thought, I never really pictured it like that.

     "Don't do that anytime too soon, Ukyo-chan. I'm not
through torturing him, yet. I might've grabbed Ranma if
hadn't been for him."

# if it hadn't (missing word)

to do about which. She knew she would never insist that Ranma
give up The Art. It had been his entire life until now, but

# He wouldn't really have to give up the Art itself, just
  official sanction to teach (and technically use) it.  No
  one is likely to try and force him to refrain, especially
  with the recent...changes he's gone through :)

Akane's and so long as she remained friendly with Akane and
Ranma, there was hope that...they could...could. Much to
Ukyo's annoyance, she was still blushing as customers started
coming through the door.

# I liked the way you phrased Ukyou's thoughts on the subject
  here.

     "Well it's time you tried it, dear. A little will do
you no harm."

# Or so she thinks... :)

      The was no breeze by the time she got off at the bus
stop nearest Tofu's clinic. The humidity had climbed to the
point that she felt like she needed a towel by the time she

# "The was" should be "There was"

     "Yeah, the look of perpetual surprise. It goes away
after you get used to being here. Don't let it bother you
any. Nerima's a nice place, just different."

# Heh, advice from the locales on adapting to the local
  flora and fauna.

     "Oh, well that makes sense," Shimazu said, as she
nodded her head. It really did make sense. Shimazu found the
fact that it made sense to somehow be frightening. Things
like this should not make sense at all, but this did. She
shuddered. Was she becoming acclimated that quickly?

# The horror!  Before you know it she'll be forming her
  own peculiar brand of martial arts and challenging the
  locals at their own game :)

legerdemain. What she was seeing was real. She let the air
out of  her lungs once she realized she had been holding her
breath.

# extra space between "of" and "her"

     "It might," Shimazu said," but it is bound to be
inconvenient for him to undergo the treatment. His patient
load has been pretty heavy."

# Shimazu said, "but it

      The effort brought her down to her knees. It had been
necessary though. There were several dangers to involved in
what the boy was doing, all of them potentially fatal. She

# the "to" between "dangers" and "involved" seems extraneous
  here.

     (Hey! We're talking to Akane here, not Pantyhose or
Shit-daddy. Besides, right now we're scared we're going hurt
somebody without meaning to.)

# That name for Genma really seems out of place, to tell the
  truth I think you'd be better off with something less
  vulgar.  Maybe use Oyagi if there's nothing else.  In fact,
  if I hadn't read your C&C of "Genma's Journal" I wouldn't
  have even known who you were talking about.

     (Come on, Red! In Nerima? And what is up with all this
weird, ki stuff we've been doin'?)

# That comma between "weird" and "ki" doesn't look right for
  some reason, although I suppose it's technically correct
  as "ki" could be a second descriptive word for stuff.

--------------

An interesting story as usual, I'm looking forward to seeing
more of this.


--------------
-James M. Zema
-http://gozips.uakron.edu/~zema/ranma.html
-E-mail: zema@uakron.edu

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