Heya, Morgan!
Hey, pal! ^_~
Sorry for the lateness, but RL has come back with a vegeance. I
hate that
thing!
Yeah, I keep on whomping mine with an aluminum bat, but the second I stop it
comes back and bites me. Maybe I should switch to wood...
BTW, you keep sending these babies late at night--and I keep
trying to start
C&Cing as soon as I get it. So don't complain if this C&C is
plagued with
idle comments and witticisms. That's all my tired brain can
produce at
such hours. ^_^
Idle comments and witticisms are the stuff of life, my friend! And I do
apologise for the lateness -or in some cases, earliness- of my posts. When
I'm near the end of a chapter I often forget to do things like eat or sleep
until it's done. I send them as soon as I can, and if I stay up all night
finishing a story, it gets sent pretty early. Or late. Or whatever. I'm sure
it's right on time, somewhere on the globe... ^_~
> Boy, this one took me forever, didn't it? I wish I could say
>that the next
> one will be faster, but things have been piling up in RL. If I >
don't deal
> with them soon, they will fall on top of me, and I could hurt my >
typing
> hand. ^_^
Forever? You don't know the _real_ meaning of that word--just wait > for
me to finish something again and you'll see how wrong you were.
Oh, yeah, I'm not waiting for you to finish anything...
*cough*nextchapterofSilentBattles*cough*
But, seriously, this felt to ME like it had taken forever. So far, most of
the people who've responded disagree.
> Why, I even mention my e-mail address in the opening of the fic > >
itself.
> It's not just there to take up space, people : drop me a line!
Well, that certainly works at times. However, I'm sure the fact
that this is
one of the best fanfics out there helps to increase the amount of > C&C
you get.
I'll stick to begging, thanks. It seems to work better than dignity.
> <whew!> Anyway, now that that ugly bit of business is over with, > >
I'd better tell you all where to find earlier chapters of my
> fic. 'Cause if I don't, Latin D will yell at me. ^_^
Heheh. I'd never yell at you--more like I'd remind you about it in > my
C&C and then make fun of your terrible memory. ^_^
My terrible what? What was that? ^_^
> Now, all that is aside and over with, so let's get on with the > >
story!
Yeah, let's find things to nitpick, errors to criticize, jokes to > make
up, typos to correct, and so on, and so on.
Yeah, like I said : "on with the story!" ^_^
Without further ado...
> Chapter Seven : A Brief Calm
What? No action in this chapter? No bloodbath? No powerful attacks?
Not until you eat your vegetables.
Awwww... ^_^
Those are the rules, young man. ^_^
Seriosuly, sometimes in a longer work like this I may have to take a little
break from the usual non-stop violence. Not everything can happen at once,
and frankly I thought that my stars could use a little break. I'm a sadist,
not a monster. ^_^
> Kujuurou Sasaki stared at his reflection. It was not an ugly
> face, in fact a face that many might have called handsome. He
>wasn't
Um, I don't think this comma is right. Maybe a semicolon (oh, if
Larry knew I'm correcting other people in the usage of
semicolons... ^_^), as in:
"It was not an ugly face; in fact, many might have called it
handsome."
Dead to rights, you are. Consider me corrected! ^_^
> a bishounen, by any stretch of the imagination, but his rugged
Now, I don't know whether "bishounen" can be used as a noun or
not, but I think that as an adjective it would sound better,
anyway. Just drop the "a".
Originally, this was going to say "not a handsome man, by any stretch...",
but I wanted to avoid repeating "handsome" twice in the same sentence. After
all, I had just said he was handsome. I didn't want to contradict myself in
the next line. I replaced "handsome man" with "bishounen", the word for what
I was trying to say he wasn't. Unfortunately, the "a" avoided my little
cut-and-paste job.
So, I'll fix it. No big deal. ^_^
> features were far from unpleasant. A scar in the shape of a cross
> graced his left cheek, nearly bisecting his eye, but its mark
>had been
> on him for so long that he usually didn't even notice it.
That is, until he decided to shave himself. Damn, he couldn't
believe how many times he had reopened that wound...
With that sword of his? He probably took off his nose! And if he was using
his claws... ouch. ^_^
> His eyes
> were green, and had that same strange, piercing quality shared > > in
the gaze of all Masho.
If the Masho's gaze have something in common is that you _really_ >
don't want to see it in a dark alley--nor in well-lit shopping
mall, for that matter.
Or really under any crcumstances at all, or at least none that I can think
of. These guys are just plain spooky, when you get down to it.
^_^
And, BTW, aren't Setsuna's eyes green, too? They do have a story
in common, that I imagine comes from long ago. Maybe Anubis is
Setsuna's father...?
More like a foster father. In Shell Games, he definitely acts like a father
figure to her, at times. She mentions that she is raising Hotaru "as well as
(Anubis) raised me", and refers to him once or twice as "Uncle Kujuurou". He
also threatens to "take her over his knee" (spank her) once, when she's
being too cold, and she says he's
"the only one who ever tried" it.
Trust me, I'll explain this all at length in future chapters. When we're
done here, Setsuna's whole past with the Masho will be aired out like wet
laundry.
> Perhaps it was just the result of four hundred and fifty long,
> hard
> years.
And perhaps it was just the soft contact lenses he had been using > for
more
than a decade now. There was nothing wrong with his sight, of
course; being
a magically-enhanced being definitely had its advantages. But he > had
never
liked the color of his eyes, so he had to resort to that wonderful >
lenses,
that had worked its own magic in a very special way. NOW he had
cool eyes,
worth of your typical hero/villain.
You realise you just found another in our long list of spamfics begging NOT
to be written. ^_^
> He was not a vain man, and it had literally been years since
> he bothered examining his own features. Why bother, when he was
"...since he had last bothered..." maybe? So to keep the same tense
throughout the sentence.
"Since he had bothered". I lost a word in there, somehow.
Was repeating "bother" intentional?
Errr... Yes. ^_~
> ageless?
Gee, my grandmother could sure use some of that stuff... How do
you call it
again? Yoroi, was it?
Yeah, Yoroi of Olay. Guaranted to hold for four centuries or your money
back. ^_^
> that matter. This was different, however. He was meeting his
> Empress
> again, and even before she had proposed to him, that had always > >
been
> a reason to shine his claws.
Shine your claws? Go take a bath, you stinking excuse of a Masho!
ANUBIS : Hey! I'll have you know I took a bath just last Tuesday, and now
I'm all clean...
Sorry, don't know what's happening to me today. Scroll forward and >
close
your eyes; everything should be fine. ^_^
Unless a certain Masho finds out he was called "stinking", yes... ^_~
> It was usually one of three, locked
> into the armoured end of his metal gauntlet and each the length > > of
a
> small sword. At the moment, it was one of two, the middle blade > >
having
> been snapped off at its mid-point.
How DO you repair one of these things? I doubt it has a warranty...
Super Glue and Duct Tape, same way you repair everything else in the
universe. ^_^
> That fact alone would have
> distressed Kujuurou Sasaki, were he the kind of man to got
> distressed.
"...to get distressed."
Good catch! ^_^
> The man most called Anubis knew he was not. He had always been
"...mostly called..." perhaps? I'm really not sure, and this could > be
simply
a stylistic issue.
Stylistic. "most" is considered to be an acceptable way of saying "most
people". I think. ^_~
> held his own against his opponent, and the other half of that
> claw was
> currently lodged in the man's right kidney.
Ouch. Pedri is gonna be sooooo angry...
Yeah. And he's ALWAYS kind of angry...
> His armour would return to
> him whole and unmarred, when next he called it, but that pain
> should
> stay with Thraw for some days yet to come.
Ah, forget what I said before. This thing is great! I want a yoroi!
Don't we all? I'm sure I could find a use for mine every single day. ^_^
And maybe it'd sound better without the "some" in this last
sentence. Just a suggestion.
I'll think about it : I was trying to sort of get into Anubis' head for this
bit of the narrative.
> Thraw had been a big man, and even tougher than he had looked.
> Anubis made a note of that for next time, and began planning
> ways to
> make the big man more his size. Perhaps it was the wolf in him, > >
but
> he had always been fond of hamstrings... one strike was all it > >
took
"One strike..."
Noted. ^_~
> to end a fight, if that strike was well-placed and well-timed, > > and
it
> would leave the prey alive. Not that he intended that as a mercy.
Hangman's Hundred Handed Horrifier! YAY!
^_^
> Anubis smiled again. Quite the opposite, actually.
>
> The last bushes parted, and he hung in their shadows for a
> moment, savouring the presence of his Empress. Her perfume, even > >
from
> across the clearing, tantalised his sensitive nose and filled
>with a
I think there's something amiss here. "...filled him with..." or
something, maybe?
I hate it when words go missing on me. That's twice now, and one word that
popped up where it shouldn't have. Nuts.
> sense of calm. Lilacs, he reflected, with a slight hint of
> honeysuckle,
> blending with a scent that was uniquely her own and had nothing > > to
do
> with perfume. There was a trace of fear in that scent, he noted, > >
and, in case it was for him, he decided he had waited long
> enough.
Heh. Good description of the odor! I could almost sense it myself!
Thanks. Considering that Anubis is supposed to have wolf-like abilities, I
thought it would be interesting to lead him around by his nose. I did it
once in Shell Games, too, IIRC.
And it seems Anubis has some romance in him. Wow.
Basically, Anubis is everything Tatewaki Kuno deludes himself into thinking
he is.
> Kayura lunged across the space between them with a speed and
> surety even he would have been hard pressed to match, and
> latched onto
Hard-pressed?
<shrugs> If you say so.
> "Go ahead," Kayura mumbled into his chest, "say it and get it
> over with, Kujuurou Sasaki. You know you want to. I messed up."
ANUBIS: Okay. You messes up. Big time.
KAJURA: You're right, sorry. By the way, you're sleeping in the
coach tonight.
ANUBIS: Oh, c'mon Kayu-chan, it was a jok--
KAYURA: Make it tonight and tomorrow's night.
Heh. He's the Masho of Darkness. The second she turns out the lights, he's
literally all over her. ^_^
> "It was a wonderful plan," Kayura admitted, then levelled a
> somewhat less than friendly glare in Rajura's direction. "I was
Less-than-friendly? I always wondered if these compound adjectives >
ought to
be hyphenated...
<shrugs, again> I guess they'd work either way, myself... I'll hyphenate if
you say so.
> "My God," Haruka Ten'ou said, as she and her two team-mates
Well, Setsuna IS one of her teammates (to hyphen, or not to
hyphen... THAT
is the question), so, perhaps:
"...as she and two of her teammates..."
I guess. I meant the two other people who had been in her team recently
(y'know, during that plan of Rajura's? They were one of the teams he formed.
Setsuna was with him), but it's true that it does make it sound like I mean
the Outer Senshi in general. I'll make the change, as you suggested.
> entered the clearing. "Is there ANY blood left in your ice
> water, or
> did you just switch over completely?"
RAJURA: Nope, it's all ice water. Why?
HARUKA: Well, the Senshi had a bet about that, and it seems
Setsuna got lucky. Again.
Of course, Setsuna would know better than any of them. She probably helped
spill most of his original blood. ^_^
> "Setsuna," Rajura called into the underbrush, "your little
> dog is yapping at me. I suggest you muzzle her, before I am
> forced to
> put her to heel."
SETSUNA: Okay, okay, you're right. Come here, Haruka.
HARUKA: Warf!
SETSUNA: Good girl. Now go chase some youma or something. We
humans need some peace, okay?
HARUKA: Warf, warf!
LOL! Now I have a mental image of Haruka as a little Yorkshire Terrier to
store in the old brain bank... I'll put it next to the one of her dressed as
Julius Caesar.
> Dressed in the black and white fuku of Sailor Pluto, Setsuna
> Meioh stepped gracefully into the clearing. The filtered
> sunlight of
> midday cut through the omnipresent shade of the tree canopy in > >
shafts,
> some of which caught and reflected from the golden tiara she
> wore.
> With an almost reflexive gesture, she lifted one arm and brushed > >
back
> her long emerald tresses, causing the thick mane to sway behind > >
her,
> billowing like a cape in the slight breeze that swirled between > >
the trees.
And that, my fellow FFMLers, is what I call a classy entrance.
Good work!
Thanks! I really try to do Setsuna justice. I'm not saying I succeed, but at
least I try. ^_^
> "Really?" Setsuna glanced back at the shaken Masho of
> Deception and grinned wickedly. "I suppose then, that the name > >
Hanako
> would mean nothing to you."
Yeah, give the bastard what he deserves! Go, Setsuna!
Sorry.
Yeah! Cripple him emotionally! I mean, he's only on YOUR SIDE, after all!
Heck, he'd do the same in the blink of his eye. ^_^
> "Whatever you meant," Haruka noted as she and the other two
> Senshi joined Setsuna, "it sure seemed to rub old Spiderman the > >
wrong
> way. What were you talking about?"
Now THAT's a spamfic I wouldn't mind reading. Kajura as Spiderman. >
Hah!
Well, he DOES do whatever a spider can...
> "Those are events, she said softly, "that very few of us like to > >
think
Missing quotes after "events."
Good catch. I wondered when I'd make that mistake. ^_^
> form-fitting style of armour that Samurai Troopers referred to > > as
their
"...that the Samurai...", mayhap?
Yeah, but that makes it sound like Anubis and Kayura aren't Samurai
Troopers, and they are. At least, that's what I thought it sounded like. I
could be wrong. I'll try it the other way, and see if it fits.
> Pulling off the stiff-collared jacket, Haruka folded it into a
> makeshift pillow and tossed it onto the ground. Ruffling her
> short
> blonde hair with one hand, she unbuttoned her starched shirt
> enough
...for us readers get hentai thoughts.
I said "enough to breathe". That can be as many buttons as you wanted it to
be.
O_o Goooood description. Keep it up! ^_^
I intend to.
> Sailor Saturn, she patter the ground next to her. "Have a seat, > >
child.
Typo: patted (there HAD to be one of these somewhere ^_~)
D'oh! Will fix!
> It wasn't going to be easy, Setsuna thought to herself as she
> idly stroked Hotaru's hair. They were up against foes they knew > >
less
> than nothing about, and who seemed to have the advantage in both
> numbers and power. She smiled. If Toshitada were there, he would > >
have
Toshitada? Whossat? Shutendoji? You have to stop using the
Japanese names, Morgan. I hate to be kept guessing. ^_^
Yes, Toshitada Koma is the real name of Shutendoji.
> argued that it merely seemed that way because he was pacing
> himself.
> She wished he was with them.
I _think_ this is called foreshadowing, ne? ^_^
Of course. He'll be there. He already is. ^_^
> **********
> Noting that the muck had coated his hand when he set it down
"...he had set it down..."
Right!
> decided it was a good a place as any to find who he was looking > >
for.
"...as good a place as any...", right?
That would be what I was trying to say, yes. ^_^
<SNIP!>
> "In about three seconds," he said simply, "you are going to
> make me cross." An arctic wind would have appeared warm in
> comparison
> to the look in his sharp blue eyes. "Now I suggest you sit down > >
and wait your turn while you still have one." The ogre whimpered > >
slightly
> and sat, clapping both hands over its mouth. "Yes," the man once > >
called
> Shutendoji admitted reasonably, "you WERE here first. I cut in > >
line.
> Do you want to have a problem with that?" The ogre shook its
> head.
> "Wise choice."
Heheheh. I'm beginning to like this guy.
Yeah, he's kind of like a slightly (and I mean SLIGHTLY) less angry version
of Vegeta, from Dragonball Z. With better hair. And more loyalty.
Okay, so he's not THAT much like Vegeta... he's got the attitude, at
least! ^_^
> His hair
> easily reached the small of his back, and for some odd reason he
> reminded her of Setsuna. "You're not part of my dream," she
> asked him
> nervously, "are you?"
SHUTENDOJI: *grin* I'm not a dream, or an illusion. Setsuna will
agree, I'm sure.
I don't know... I'm sure she thinks he's pretty dreamy...
> After all, Hotaru Tomoe was the daughter of Setsuna Meioh. So,
> as Setsuna's husband, that made Toshitada Koma her father. And > > he
had
> every intention of being an involved parent.
FOUR PARENTS? Jun doesn't stand a chance...
Hey, Shutendoji is one of the only people in all of YST who ever cut Jun any
slack at all. Of course, if the little guy screws up even once, it's "Quake
With Fear" until the cows come home...
<SSSSSSNIP!>
> The girl in the dark blue fuku began to sniffle, her lower
> lip trembling, and Thunderstorm rolled her eyes. Pushing past the
> armoured forms of Kayura's Imperial Guard, Sailor Lightstorm
> intervened
> and draped an arm over Icestorm's shoulders.
Now that I think about it, what happened to Firestorm (that was
the name, right?)
Right.
, Rei's counterpart? Is she imprisoned? Then why didn't Kayura rescue
her?
She's not imprisoned. She's dead. She was killed back in Inner Battles 12,
when Wiseman mistook her for Setsuna and blasted her into oblivion.
Icestorm, Lightstorm, and Thunderstorm were all smart enough to switch sides
and join Kayura. Firestorm never even got to meet her.
<GEE, I DON'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY, IT SEEMS>
> "True," Nasuti confessed, "it feels a little weird without
Isn't it: ...confessed. "It... ?
Yes, it is. Thanks for the catch! ^_^
> "VERY big deal, Jun. I happen to be responsible for you, and
> you're taking risks you shouldn't." Nasuti was going to continue > >
her
> lecture, then noticed that Jun had plugged his fingers in his
> ears.
> "Very funny. The fact of the matter is that you and I are not
> powerful
> enough to fight youma or youja bare-handed. If you don't start > >
being
> a little more careful, you're going to get hurt."
Um, it seems we'll see more of Jun in the next chapters.
But of course! He's a widely ignored, unfairly disliked secondary character!
You'd rather I focused on somebody else? ^_^
> "I'm not a child, Nasuti, and you're not my mother, no matter
> HOW much you try to act like it." Jun scowled at the older
> woman, who
> looked back at him in shock. "It's true, Nasuti. I can take care > >
of
> myself, okay? You were there when I won the Nationals! I'm the > >
best
> kendoist my age in ALL OF JAPAN!
KUNO: Silence, knave!
Hey, Jun said the best HIS AGE... He is only TWELVE...
But still : ^_^
> I'm not stupid : know exactly how
I'm not sure the colon goes here, but, anyway, wouldn't it
be: ...stupid : I
know... ?
Good points, both. I'll make sure to use wither one or the other.
<SNIP A COUPLA PARAGRAPHS>
> Jun chuckled. "You really don't know Hotaru that well, do you?"
LOL! A Death, Reborn, Revolution and they won't have any more
problems....
Or, depending how you look at it, a whole bunch of new problems...
You _have_ to use that attack someday, my friend. Pleeeeaaaase? ^_~
Have faith, my friend. Be patient. ^_^
<SNIPSNIP!>
> Holts clapped slowly. "Nice," she said, "I give it an eight out
...said. "I...
Noted.
> Holts looked down at the small bonsai she was holding. "I
> suppose this little guy is safe with you again." Looking utterly > >
bored,
> she handed the miniature tree back to her brother. "You know,
> Pedri
> was so mad when he heard about your screw up, steam nearly shot > >
out
> of his ears. I'm surprised he didn't kill you again.
"AGAIN?!" I think there's something you're not telling us...
It certainly does sound that way, doesn't it? ^_^
> reports. Mother no longer wishes to see me." His voice faltered a
> little, and Holts winced. Ignored by Mother? Most of them would > >
rather
> take the beating. Which reminded her...
Well, I, for one, would love to be ignored by Mother, if the other >
choice is losing a year. Who understands these loony siblings?
Let me put it this way. Your god has forsaken you. Personally, and on
purpose. Still sound like Thraw got off easy?
> Holts narrowed all four of her catlike eyes and frowned.
Y'know, you used "hawk-like" somewhere up there. If that word is
hyphenated,
why shouldn't this one? Or maybe it's one of those things that
make me love
English so much... ^_^
The sad thing is that both went through my spell-checker without a hitch. I
guess both are accurate, although I WILL try to be more consistent as to
whether I hyphenate or not.
> she hadn't been staring him in the chest. Thraw chuckled despite
> himself. The very idea of his sister Holts -who weighed perhaps > >
eighty
> pounds after a big meal and was too lazy to even lift her head > >
without
> good reason- actually doing something as physically active as
> smacking
> him almost made him want to see her try. She'd probably stop for > > a
> nap halfway through her swing and forget where she had left off, > >
he
> decided, and just nodded.
This is too leading. I bet she's the best fighter of the siblings > and
deathly as Rambo in a killing frenzy--but you won't show us
that until the very end.
To quote comedian Christopher Titus : "I used to think my dad was lazy. It
turns out... he was just resting up." ^_^
Or am I reading too much between lines? ^_^
Could be. It's not a bad idea, though. A lot of stuff happens between the
lines, especially where Rajura's involved. ^_^
> **********
>
> To Be Continued...
...so Latin_D will be happy, happy he says.
Gee, I'm running out of words to praise your work, Morgan. Good, >
great,
interesting, exciting, wonderful... all of them have been \
mentioned before,
and they're all fitting.
I really want to know what you're going to do with Yun and Hotaru,
That would be in the next chapter. And most of the ones after it, of
course... I promise only that Jun and Hotaru will have absolutely no
problems with each other at all when this story is over. Take that to be as
promising or menacing as you want. ^_^
and how
Shutendoji fits in the story arc.
More than one YST and RW fan has compared him to Obi-Wan Kenobi.
And I wanna see the other siblings!
In time, in time. I'm fighting my natural urge to toss all my cards out on
the table at once, so that there's a reason to keep reading these chapters.
I can promise that you will at least get to see Tytoung in the next chapter,
and Tuls somewhere further down the line.
Now, my friend, know that I going for my prom trip tomorrow, and
I'm not
returning till August the 14th.
Well, I hope this gets to you fast enough, then. I'd hate for you to have
left before getting it. ^_^
What do you say you keep from posting
till that date, eh? So I get the chapters hot from the oven. ^_^
Well, these chapters usually take me about two weeks to write, and I've got
a lot of other things keeping me busy right now, so you might get lucky. ^_^
Er, guys, guys, it was just a joke. Really. C'mon, people, cut if > off.
Please! *runs away from the lynch mob of RS fans that won't wait a > day
more
than necessary*
Hehe. Well, you WANTED to see the Hangman's Hundred Handed Horrfier, didn't
you? ^_^
See you!
So long!
-Morgan Hudson
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