In a message dated 00-08-01 23:50:13 EDT, you write:
<< Onna-K: [Characterization] It was your standard newbie Eva Lemon. It had
next to no plot, OOC in extreme proportions, and seemed to be written
with one hand. Overall, not really worth the ASCII it's written on.
=No arguments there. I couldn't really imagine Misato getting that plastered
to not recognize a few "minor" details...
Little-J: [Romance/Sex] I tend to agree, with Onna-K, it had very little
of everything that makes a fic good, and plenty of everything that makes
a fic bad. The sex scene had nothing special about it, seemingly taken
from "The Misato Chronicles" by Katsuragi Misato, as did the plot.
=One of my major gripes is that there was too much slang used in the
narrative. While it's perfectly fine to have, say Misato say, "Oh, baby...
fuck me, fuck me hard!" It's not all right for the narrative going, Shinji
slapped her ass as he shoved his cock deep in her cunt.
=That makes the writer sound like a lonely editor for Penthouse, which is
_not_ the reaction you want readers to have.
Chibi-K: [Plot] Plot? What plot? Did you see a plot? <holds magnifying
glass to fic> OH!! God, that's small. Overall, what little plot there
was turned out to be a poorly written version of "The Misato
Chronicals".
=Very true at that. Of course, you could counter the argument by saying,
"This is a LEMON, for God's sake! Plots are irrelevant!" Then I get to
smack you with the first six chapters of "Aikan Muyo," then ask you to
rephrase that.
Katarn: [Overall] If most of the fic (read all but the basic premise) is
scrapped, and re-written with more of a plot, it might work. As it
stands, it's a standard Lemon (read substandard fic). >>
How true. I think a lot of Lemon stories forget about the importance of
believability to their stories. Yes, we know that the characters are acting
a litt OOC at the least; we can accept that. What we can't swallow, pardon
the pun, is outlandish behavior, such as Ayeka or (heaven forbid) Sasami
offering Tenchi a blowjob and the Lily of the Vally (despite the Jurian
marriage customs).