Subject: [FFML] Re: [Original] Ynnis Jihad: Prologue
From: David Johnston
Date: 7/21/2000, 3:45 PM
To: Kyle Emmerson
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

Kyle Emmerson wrote:

        Authors Note: This is all based on 'The Ynnis Jihad', a Big Eyes,
Small Mouth campaign run by me. There are a few people I wish to thank and
give credit to beforehand. First of all, Kieron, for the character of Ryo,
MageOhki for the character of Dee, and Miashara for the character of Hiro,
whom you'll be meeting within the next two chapters or so. All other
characters/creatures were created by me.

        Also, additional thanks go to Kieron & MageOhki, who pre-read for
this, and helped me out with their characters. ^_^

        ****

        It leapt from place to place, not knowing it's destination, only
following instinct, and orders.

place without knowing its destination, only following instinct and orders.


        The creature itself was not intelligent, only knowing how to do basic
things. Operate simple machines such as doors, or move a box to help it
reach a higher place.

The creature's intellect was barely adequate to open a door, but it was quite
violent and very good at killing.  It had no need for doors or complex thought.
It simply did as it wanted--or was told to do.


        But it was quite violent, and extremely skilled in the art of war. It
had no need of boxes or doors. It had no need for complex thought or
enlightened knowledge. It simply did what it wanted--

        -- or what it was told to do.

        In this case, it was simply looking for a victim. It knew that the

it wasn't simply looking for a victim.

simple prey, the countless human beings on the streets below were of no
consequence. It could easily slice them up and consume them without so
much as a thought.

        But not all. Some humans were crafty. Some of them could fight back,
or even kill one of his kind.

        For a war machine, it was incredibly frail.

        But once again, it was of no consequence. The masters, the Great Ones

But then again, it was of no consequence.

that had created it easily had one hundred times its own strength.

More importantly, they could easily create more.


        Masters who could consume thousands of the strongest human beings in a
matter of seconds.

        But today, the creature wasn't looking for a human being...

        It was looking to deliver a message.

Well, no it wasn't.  It had been sent to deliver a message, but I doubt
it has any intent except to follow orders.


****

        Kyle Emmerson Presents...

        A BESM Campaign turned prose...

        The Ynnis Jihad

        Prologue: Pact of Ages

****

        Ryo Murakuma yawned passively as he stared out the window at the
passing buildings. The lights and sights of midnight Tokyo were blinding,
especially to Ryo. He much rather preferred the nights sky to be cleared

night's

of any ambient night. To sit at the steps of the Great Pyramids outside of

light

Cairo and look at the sky. The millions of stars staining as far as the

Cairo's a big city that puts out a good deal of light pollution.

eye could see...

        But then, Tokyo wasn't as bad as New York.

Yes it is!


        He had been in New York with his parents for the nineteenth biannual
Museum of Natural History's archaeologist convention. His father, Ichiro
was quite famous for learning of, and documenting the entire known history
of an ancient Summerian city, while his mother Rei, worked on the Troy
Resurrection project. They met about twenty-two years earlier in Monaco,
while the both of them were on vacation...

        Ryo was the ultimate result of their union, and eventual marriage.
Since then, Ryo had followed in his parents footsteps, traveling the
world, visiting any and all places of historical importance that one could
think of.

        He trailed his finger along the rim of his fedora and smirked. That
had been another of his personality quirks.

        He worshipped Indiana Jones.

        Of course he knew that Indy himself was entirely fictional, but that
didn't mean that his exploits, no matter how fake, couldn't actually
happen.

Gee, that must just thrill his parents since Indy's methods are hardly in
tune with the methodical approach of the professional modern-day archaeologist.


        The search for the Holy Grail, the discovery of the Ark of the
Covenant... Ryo often daydreamed of finding such things, and what would
come of it...

        During his days in school, life had slowed to a crawl. The only thing
he could do was research-- and he hated it, but he worked hard at it. He
had gone to a very reputable school out of England, and soon found himself
making friends--

        -- and rivals. Deborah Jane Croft was the worst of the rivals-- but in
a way, the best. She often teased him, and worked against him... But
truthfully... She had a thing for him.

This is his internal monologue here.  Is he really that sure?  Maybe instead
you say "He had a thing for her".  I think you dropped a stitch there, incidentally.
There must be some reason why he particularly didn't like New York, but you didn't
tell us what it was.  Did he see Croft there?


        It was well received in the beginning, but soon... It all went
downhill...

        Ryo had written his thesis based on an ancient Summarian text,

Sumerian

discovered by none other than his father. It was soon translated, and
spread around the archaeologic community-- however, Ryo was the only one
to take the greatest of interest in it. By arranging the text, he was
able to discern a great deal of Summarian culture. Moreso that was ever
learned before. The story behind 'The Sky People' finally began to make
sense.

        Ryo spent six months on his thesis...

        But Deborah claimed it as her own, thus betraying Ryo in the worst way
imaginable.

        She explained there was reason behind it. She explained that her
parents had placed the pressure upon her, and she was left with no choice.

I suggest cutting out this part of the exposition and moving it into when 
Deborah actually appears on the scene.  Don't over expose.


        But Ryo heard none of it. He only felt the rage and mistrust. Even as
she went to explain further, that she had an acceptable excuse... No, Ryo
wouldn't hear of it. He changed his number and was often away from his
dorm.

        After graduation, Ryo left the Academy forever, to seek his own

Which is not that big a deal, really.  

truths. He'd heard rumours of Deborah constantly following him, but always
being a step behind. Ryo preferred it that way. Which is why he never
stayed in the same place for too long of a time.

        But now was not the time for such worries. He was in Japan to visit
his uncle and aunt. That's it. If Deborah followed him--

        -- well, he'd be out of there soon enough. Besides, he was only there
for a few days. As soon as Deborah picked up on his location, there would
be no trouble, because Ryo would be gone.

        Still, it was interesting... How she always knew where to go. There
were very few people who he told. Only a handful of people knew where he
would go...

        Ryo looked back to the car of the train, as if expecting to find
something.

        Nothing... Just some lady with a duffel bag and a man sitting against
the wall, wearing a green trench coat and mirrored shades.

        Ryo turned to the window. If he had been in another state of mind, he
may have wondered what had possessed him to look back into the car.

****

        "You need to rest, Lieutenant Commander," he had said, rather
matter-of-factly.

        "Sir, I apologize for--" she had tried to interrupt, but to no avail.

        "This isn't a court martial, Dee. Call it a vacation."

        "Sir, I--"

        "No, Dee. One year administrative leave... Go visit your family or
something."

Diedre:  Uh...sir?  My family blew up.

Commanding Officer:  Doh!


        Lieutenant Commander Dierdre Moate sighed inwardly. Little more than a
month ago, it had happened. Little over a month... She was a SEAL, dammit.
She needed action. Not this administrative bullshit.

        It had started this way, in the beginning. Her first blown mission
working as a field agent for the Central Intelligence Agency had paved her
way to SEAL school. Upon 'graduation' through hell week, as the first
female ever to make it through, she was given leave.

        But... it was the road that got her there that made what had happened
possible. For the CIA, she had been assigned as a liaison for the CIA to

Eschew redundancy and repetition.  

work under the Japanese government, to help infiltrate a terrorist group
called 'Rising Sun,' who were suspected of planning an assault upon the
populous, like in the 1994 subway gas attack.

        But her cover was blown, and she was left to fend for herself. But she
got out, and created quite a mess in doing so.

That doesn't really deserve its own paragraph, and could be better phrased,
as something like "When her cover was blown she had to shoot her way out
and made quite mess in the process."


        Needless to say, the Rising Sun were not happy.

        So in retaliation, they _WAITED_. They all _WAITED_ until the exact
moment that Dee would visit her family in Norfolk, and just as she walked
up the walkway, they...

        ...they blew the damned house up.

        Dee was damaged. She was hurt inside and out. But when she inherited
the family sword of the Japanese side of her family, and got out of the
hospital, she became set in her ways.

Dee was damaged; hurt inside and out.  But when she inherited her Japanese 
mother's family sword and got out of the hospital, she became set on her 
course.  


        By convincing Rick, her former lover, fellow SEAL, and current best
friend to join her on a headhunt for the remaining members of the Rising
Sun, she wrote the chapter of her life that led to this point.

        They hunted them down, and collected upon their lives.

I suggest you cut those two lines out.  


        Dee _ENJOYED_ leaking the life out of that Rising Sun bastard. Piece
by piece, she enjoyed watching him die, clawing at her for mercy.

        No mercy, no prisoners.

        Then, she had been hauled in to the the CINCPAC HQ, and was given her
'administrative' leave. It had sucked. She knew it sucked, her CO, Rick
Aston knew it sucked. But orders are orders.

        James had been ordered to an REMF position, and told to keep his nose
clean. Dee didn't mind, at least he was still in with the action.

James:  But...but...I didn't do anything!
Superior officer:  James, Rick, what's the diff?


        Still, that meant she was OUT of the action.

        Which brought her to Japan. The whole purpose for being there was
quite simple. She had an entire culture, a part of her life, invested in
the country. 

You need to rephrase for clarity.

Her mother was Japanese, and she had only spent a year in the
country during her life, when she was seventeen.

        So now, she was here. She was certain she could find things to do for
a year in the small island country.

        Yawning and keeping her duffel bag at her side, she looked around in
mild interest. Some kid near the back, looking out the window, and the
dude across from her. He caught her attention easily, though she couldn't
explain why. He was a rugged, almost feral type handsome man. This in
itself shouldn't have attracted her full attention. But something else
did, and as hard as she looked, she couldn't explain it.

When's the last time you got laid, Dee?


        Suddenly, she saw him jerk his head back, as if hearing something. Dee
narrowed her eyes in confusion. She hadn't heard anything, but what--

        *thump*

        --... was that? Dee looked back toward the source of the sound. It
seemed to be coming from the other train, or--

        *Thump*

        The roof. She was vaguely aware of the man across from her standing up
as the train immediately lost power and skidded to a sudden stop, sending
her off balance, and tumbling head over heels over seats, and onto the
floor at the front of the train.

****

        Ryo looked up in consternation. Did he just hear a thump? He looked to
the front of the train long enough to see the man with the mirrored shades
stand up and stare back toward him before the lights began to flicker.
After another moment, Ryo was sent sprawling onto the floor as the trains

train's

brakes slowed the train to an immediate stop.

Now, why did the creature bother to do that?


        Tumbling down the aisle, he collided with a seat on the opposite side
of the train and tried to get his bearings. It was dark, but he could
still make out the man standing in the aisle.

        Then he blinked in surprise. He had been knocked halfway across the
train, but this guy was still standing as if nothing had happened? Was
that possible?

Inertia is just a state of mind.  


        *THUMP*

        The noise was there again, this time directly above the man. Ryo
looked up toward the sound just as something began to happen.

****

        Dee growled to herself and rubbed her head as she stood back up.

        "Now what the hell was that about?" she asked nobody in particular.
Narrowing her eyes, she managed to catch a view of the man in the green
trenchcoat that was sitting across from her.

        And he was still standing.

        Dee blinked and pushed her duffel bag up against her again, this time
checking to see if the contents were still inside.

        They were, and she looked back toward the man.

        This time, she heard it. The metallic shing was unmistakable.

        And the light from outside reflecting off of the blade was even more
unmistakable.

        Thinking quickly, she reached into her duffel and pulled out the
contents, which closely resembled her family katana. In fact, it WAS her

The most direct route between two points is a straight line.  

family's katana.

        "Drop it, buddy!" she screamed.

        The man made no motion to either acknowledge her presence, or even
listen to her.

        "I said, DROP IT!"

        Finally, she received a reply, but it wasn't in the way she had
expected. Not by a longshot.

****

        Below.

        Yes, his charge was below. It was to this one he would deliver the
message.

        The one called Hobgoblin reared back one steady claw, and forced it
through the rooftop of the train, tearing a whole through the thick sheet
of metal and plastic. A moment later, it was large enough for him to
descend, and so he did.

        Three. He had only to find one of the Clans. No matter, the other two
would die just as quickly. He was ordered to kill indiscriminately, and do

No he was ordered to kill specifically.  It is simply his inclination to kill
indiscriminately.  

that, he would.

        But first, his charge.

        The look on the face of his charge was serious, but with a sense of
apprehension. He looked toward him, his weapon poised at the ready, but
not attacking.

        "Why are you here?" he asked.

Hobgoblin:  Why are any of us here?  


        Had the Hobgoblin been able to reply, he would have. But his level of
the caste, like many others of his kind, had no vocal cords. Nor did they
have need for them. 

Excessively circumlatory.

He quickly looked to the others. The male behind him a
look of fear, and the female further ahead a look of disgust.

        Rearing his claw back, he began the attack.

****

        The emergency lights had come on just before the... creature dropped
in. Ryo had been shocked enough to see the man in the green trenchcoat
carrying a sword, but the crazy woman behind him, too?

        He had almost wet himself, thinking they were slashers, or assassins
or something. Probably working for the Lesbian Amazons Warriors he had

Amazon

encountered, and barely escaped from by the skin of his teeth.

        But no, they weren't wearing loinclothes... and one was male. Maybe a
bad remake of Highlander?

        As soon as it had grown, he dropped all forms of fear for the two
human beings before him, and renewed it as the... creature dropped out of
the ceiling.

        "Why are you here?" the man asked.

        Ryo watched in wide-eyed shock as the creature lumbered toward the
trenchcoated man and reared its claw back to attack. Nimbly, the man dodge
aside and drew his sword to stab the... thing through the chest.

        And it still stood.

        Suddenly, he knew. It wasn't a creature that could be killed or hurt
by conventional means.

        Pulling an object from within his jacket, he moved forward to attack.

Ryo:  Cower in fear of my deadly camera!  


****

        Dee watched in complete shock. She had seen weird things during her
service, heard weird stories. But this had to be the WEIRDEST damn thing
she had ever seen.

        A creature, made of pure blackness. Weird little tentacles hanging off
its head, like dreadlocks, and BIG damn claws. While vaguely humanoid,
there was no way this thing could have been mistaken as such. It was too
thin. Too frail. You couldn't even wear a costume that would make you look
like that. This thing was for REAL.

        When it was stabbed by the man, she heard it scream in pain. Finally,
she moved back into reality, and leapt into action, slicing her sword at
the thing from the side, and severing its right arm.

        A moment later, she saw the fop from the back of the train pull out a
camera and snap a picture of the thing.

        Still standing, the creature lashed out again, striking the man in the
side and creating a fair sized wound, which was no bleeding quite a bit.

now


        The man sneered at the creature, and then struck it down, one final
time. This time, it fell.

Looks to me like conventional means do pretty good at killing it.  


        Kicking the lifeless corpse lying on the ground, he spat. "Why have
you broken the pact?" he asked, although he didn't seem to be asking
the... thing.

        "Hold up," Dee interrupted. "What pact? And what the HELL was that
thing?"

        Finally, the man became aware of her presence for the first time. He
looked over to her and sighed. "I thank you for your assistance," he said.
"But it was foolish of you." He looked toward the other boy. "Both of
you."

        "Hey, I'm US Navy, boy. They're the only ones who can tell me what's
foolish and what's not. And... standing like an idiot in the corner,
playing with myself while some mutated reggae singer tries to rip folks to
pieces didn't seem like a SMART thing to do."

        "Excuse me, sir?" the boy asked, walking up. "What was that?"

        The man sighed. "It was a Mare-Waver... And it has friends," he
replied. "Forgive me."

        "Forgive you?" Dee asked. "For wha--"

        "Sleep," he said, and waved his hands in front of Dee's face.

****

        Ryo blinked. He just said... 'Sleep' and she fell to the floor.

        Ryo gulped. And she looked TOUGH.

        The man in the green trenchcoat turned toward him.

        "Say, uhh... That's not really necessary, is it?"

        "As I said," he replied. "Forgive me."

        "Well, hey! You don't hafta do that! I know the score here! I'll come
willingly."

        "That is not part of the equation, boy," he said, stepping up to Ryo.
"Now sleep."

****

        He stood in the train car alone. Well, nearly alone. There were two
people in the car with him, though unconscious, and a dead Mare-Waver.

        He hefted the boy and his supplies over one shoulder and walked
towards the woman, and did the same with his other shoulder.

        Before long, the police would arrive and wonder what had happened, but
he would be long gone by then.

        He had to get the two to safety. Or else the others would hunt them
down and kill them, just as they had before.

as had happened before.  


        Genji Maeshima sighed as he leapt to the roof of the train, and ran
off into the night.




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