<SNIP>
Thanks! It's nice to see such a marked difference in
attitude towards this
fic, actually. I had the hot foot for almost a week
when I posted the first
chapter. :(
@@Really??? Hmmmm, I'll have to read the first
chapter.
As far as I am concerned chp. 2 is a very nice read.
A good solid story, good dialogue, nice internal
logic.
I've pointed out what I feel are some problems but,
overall, it's a nice read.
<SNIP>
Hmm, like I said in another reply, I don't know if I
want or should write
everyhing to that particular intensity. For one, I
don't know if I can do it
effectively, and for another I'm not sure it would
help and might actually
hurt the story.
@@I like your writing. I can't see how good writing
could hurt, but it's your story. The author is always
write. <G>
If a section starts to drag on, to become to boring
that may have to be
addressed. But even really great works typically
have 'slower' and less
dynamic parts. Not everything is going to be imbued
with intense amounts of
emotion.
@@True, but IMO the slower sections would still be
better with more of your intensity. Again, it's up to
you. These are only my opinions.
<SNIP>
Kuno let's Akane take him out with a single kick,
regularly. During Ranma's
first confrontation, Kuno couldn't even handle a
simple three story fall.
He's consistantly shown his skill level to be very
apathetic in comparison
to Ranma and Akane so far.
@@and considering he gets creamed it seems that he
really isn't that good. ^)^
On the other hand, I also pointed out that Nabiki
basically sicced Kuno on
Akane (causing that entire situation) in the first
chapter. Nabiki is
actually much more familiar with Kuno than Akane is.
That's why this
judgement was made.
@@OK. It makes sense after you've explained it.
I'll go back and read chp. 1. That will probably help.
<SNIP>
Hmm, choreographed as in the fight is very similar
to how it was in the
original? Realistically, it should. It's pretty much
how the same two
fighters dealing with the same sort of situation.
@@Partly that. and partly Kuno's fights seemed to be
VERY similar. Not a big point. and I've got to admit I
didn't see Akane in disguise at all. I'm still not
sure about the hair cutting scene. It seemed the most
contrived of all. It really felt as if you were trying
to force events rather than let them flow naturally.
But, that's just me. Other readers may feel
differently. Again, the final authority is you as
writer. this is just IMO. ^)*
<SNIP>
More is planned. But Nabiki (and her problems) are a
long term plot. IIRC,
she's pretty much around and used by Takahashi more
than Ryoga (or at least
*very* close to the same amount). I intend to have
her around for the long
haul.
@@Good. I think you're doing a very good job with her.
She feels more "real" than many other Nabiki's that
show up in fanfics. VEry good job.
<SNIP>
I do not want to re-read things
I've seen before. Especially when it appears to be
almost a cut-and-past job. If I wanted to see this
I can go back and read Takahashi Rumiko. (I can
look at the pictures too. *_*)
But these are there for someone who *hasn't* read
quite as many fanfictions,
while trying to evoke some of the imagery from the
original. That's why they
are even there.
@@Ahhhhh!!!! Good point. OTOH I would rather see YOUR
take on the situation than a re-hash of the original.
I'll say again. I REALLY like your original stuff. IMO
you can create the _feeling_ of the original, even for
people with little or no knowledge of the original,
w/o
doing an almost word-for-word replay. Again, IMO.
<SNIP>
Unfortunately due to Real Life I don't have
time to finish commenting on the comments.
Hopefully I can finish later.
Please do. You've actually helped but some of my
thoughts and ideas into
contrast. It's helped me see why I've actually done
some of these things.
@@Great. I'm glad I could help. It does not look like
I'm going to be able to do much more C&C on this one.
I'm trying to get as much C&C done as quickly as
possible. I've got other RL things upcoming plus my
own writing. I'm probably not going to be able to C&C
for many more days but I'll get back to yours if time
allows.
As for the rushed part, well, about half of this
was
written in about
six
hours, and then polished in two days.
@@I'm impressed.
Had a lot of time and some focus one Sunday. I was
rather impressed myself.
Wish I could get so focussed more often.
Thanks!
@@you are quite welcome. A VERY NICE read. Keep up the
good work.
=====
"When I get a little money, I buy books;
And, if any is left, I buy food and clothes."-Erasmus
"A man is a small thing, and the night is large
and full of wonders." -Lord Dunsany
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