----- Original Message -----
From: David Johnston <rgorman@telusplanet.net>
To: <LadyCailin@aol.com>
Cc: <Kenjiko2@aol.com>; <ffml@fanfic.com>
Sent: Friday, June 23, 2000 11:05 PM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [Ranma] [Alt] Fair Warning
LadyCailin@aol.com wrote:
One evening, her father called her and her two sisters to make an
announcement.
Her and her sisters Nabiki and Kasumi. In fanfiction always assume
your
readers know next to nothing about the series. If you talk about
everyone in
reference to your main character (Akane) then it takes them out of the
story.
Akane's sisters are important characters no matter how you play this
one.
Their plot drivers you can't slide out of the story.
Also, I'm not sure that you should use 'her' three times in succession like
this.
How about: 'One evening, her father called her to a family meeting.'
Then you could go on to describe how her other sisters were already sitting
at
the table when she arrived, etc.
And in point of fact, it was Nabiki who was sent to fetch Akane, who was in
the
dojo smashing cinder blocks at the time.
I disagree. They don't drive this plot at all. They are totally
unimportant
characters here.
Most of us know what happened next.
Er. . .See above note about assuming your readers know nothing.
Besides,
Akane might also act differently though this part. If Akane is waiting
for
that one special man she was told about then she might just get a little
panicked about a fiancee comin' round. She would also be really relieved
when
Ranma shows up as a girl. Take us through it, make it short, but take us
through it. First impressions are important.
<debate>
Whether to rehash the beginning endlessly or not?
My personal opinion is, if there's no significant difference between canon
ep. 1
and the fanfic's ep. 1, then it shouldn't be described in detail. Gloss it
over,
perhaps with the odd comment. "THERE'S A PERVERT IN THE FURO!"
If you're reading(and writing) Ranma fanfic, then you should be reasonably
familiar
with the Anime and Manga. It's BORING to read the same scenes over and over.
</debate>
The thing is, in the story Akane doesn't necessarily believe the
prognosticator until some of his predictions come true. So far,
all he's done is appear surprisingly knowledgeable about her current
problem, but nothing that couldn't be explained away
by a skeptic.
I agree. I think Akane's reaction to Ranma's statement that he was going
back
to China was completely OOC, even allowing for the 'fair warning'. Akane is
stubborn, prideful, and arrogant. She's also blissfully unaware of half the
things going on around her. I REALLY doubt these character traits happened
because of Kuno. I find it far more likely that they developed from
childhood
(possibly her mother's death contributed?) So why should she bow and scrape
for some guy? Even if he IS her true love, she's seen no PROOF, and her
pride would keep her from doing that anyway.
As far as my opinion of the story goes, I have a few issues with the
prognosticator's version of Ranma. Ranma didn't do anything to cause
anyone else's enmity? Really?
I'm not going into THAT, as that would diverge into spam, and cause this
thread
to enter bansville.
Thomas Hood
thood@cs.mun.ca