----- Original Message -----
From: "D.F. Roeder" <dfroeder@flash.net>
To: "FFML" <ffml@fanfic.com>; "KaraOhki" <karaohki@snet.net>
Sent: Tuesday, June 20, 2000 7:42 PM
Subject: RE: [FFML] [fanfic][Ranma] The Smallest Kuno
This one's beeing
been (unless someone's figured out how to stick tiny little wings on
their fanfics and have them buzz around the room... at least that no
one's told me about, anyway. :P)
Moral: Never submit a fic to the list when half asleep.
sitting around since March. It was
written during one of our FFIRC "one hour" evenings.
The car pulled up to the Kuno house and stopped. Its
driver got out, opened one of the back doors, and leaned
inside Soon she
inside. Soon, she
thank you
walked up to the house and knocked on
the door. When she got no response, she shrugged and let
herself in.
Principal Kuno lay back in his chaise lounge, sipping his
pineapple juice while the sun lamp deepened his tan.
"Da wahines lub me tan, HAHA!" Well... maybe not. ^_-
(Pictures the girls of Furinkan high turning green.)
He
had his favorite Don Ho CD playing, his sunglasses on,
and was in an unusually relaxed mood. His students would
never have believed it.
Heh.
The mood was shattered when the sunglasses were snatched
from his face.
"Uncle Kuno! Uncle Kuno!"
He squinted at the source of the sound. A small child
was holding his sunglasses, waving them about gleefully.
Behind the child, Principal Kuno's sister Minori beamed
at the child.
"There you are, brother! I've brought little Hitoshi to
spend the day with you."
"You wen did wot?"
Hehehe.
blame it on Gary!!! (sorry, Gary)
The principal's sister frowned at him. "You heard me. I
have errands to run, and Hitoshi's nanny is sick." She
patted her son on the head. "You'll be good for your
uncle, won't you dear?"
you, dear?"
The child ignored her, and ran across the room to a bowl
of fruit. He grabbed several pieces, took a bite of
each, and threw them on the floor.
Oh, no. I'm already cringing on this one. I may end up sympathizing
with old palm-tree head, as bizarre as the possibility sounds.
Are you sure you don't need to see a doctor? ^_^
"I'll be back tonight. Have a good time!"
Before the stunned man could say a word, his sister was gone.
*****
Kodachi Kuno was brushing her hair when she heard a knock
on the bedroom door.
"Yes?"
It's
"It's (missing quote)
yo' faddah, sweet t'ing!"
Kodachi was instantly suspicious. Her father would never
call her "sweet thing" unless he wanted something.
And by calling her that, we're all wondering just what he wants...
(/me taps his cigar and waggles his eyebrows.)
She
opened the door a crack, and he pushed his way into her room.
"Dat auntie o'yours wen' bringin' dis cousin t'play wit'
you t'day. You be takin' 'im to school wid you, yeah?"
He was gone so fast she couldn't see his smoke.
LOL!! Even a Kunou has his or her limits to insanity. ^_^
At least this Kuno does
Kodachi cupped her chin in her hand as Hitoshi
methodically destroyed her bedroom.
"I shall take you to school, and give you to the
homemaking class. They can take care of you!"
*****
An hour later Kodachi heard her name over the loudspeaker
system at St. Hebereke's. She was being summoned to the
homemaking classroom.
When she entered, she encountered a sea of unfriendly
faces. The teacher's glasses were cracked, most of the
students had food splattered all over them, and there was
a pile of broken toys on the floor. The teacher picked
Hitoshi up and handed him to Kodachi.
"Miss Kuno, I would appreciate it if you would remove
your cousin from the premises. Please do not bring him
here again."
:)
*****
"Akane Tendo, I have come to rescue you from that fiend Saotome!"
Kuno flew across the schoolyard, waving his bokken at
Ranma. Ranma turned to look at Kuno just as Akane
attacked him and knocked him unconscious.
"Hey, why did you do that?"
Akane shrugged. "It was my turn. You got to have the
fun yesterday, and the day before that. Can't you keep track?
"Sorry."
They went into the school, and left Kuno lying on the
ground. He woke up some time later.
"Classes must have begun," he muttered. "The loving
attentions of my beloved Akane have made me late again."
Kuno began to stand up and felt something touch him.
When he looked down, there was a pair of chubby arms
grasping his leg.
"Cousin Tatty!"
/me falls out of chair laughing. So much for the Kunou pride. ^_^
Thank you! that is exactly what I intended.
A familiar laugh brought Kuno's head up. His sister
stood there, looking a little worse for wear. Her hair
was out of its usual ponytail, and her normally
immaculate uniform was torn and dirty.
Hehehe.
"Brother! How convenient of you to wait outside for me.
Cousin Hitoshi needs someone to watch him today, and I'm
afraid my schedule is too full. Since you're so very
fond of him, I know you won't object to having him for a
few hours."
Kodachi disappeared. One second she was there, and the
next--she wasn't.
Family school: Disappearing Hair Clipper School of Stealth
Departure... or something. ^_-
Yes, such a shame that Cousin Tatty hasn't quite perfected it yet.
*****
Homemaking class was just about to begin when the door
opened and Kuno entered with his cousin. He bowed
respectfully to the teacher and pushed the child forward.
"This is my cousin Hitoshi, who has been left in our
family's care today. I thought it would be good
experience for the young ladies in your class to care for
the child today." He paused, and noticed that the
teacher looked somewhat annoyed. "With your permission,
of course."
The teacher gave herself a mental shake. This was the
principal's son, after all. It would be best to agree.
She took the child's hand and nodded at Kuno. "We will
take good care of him. You should get to your own class."
Kuno didn't respond. He was much too busy staring at
Akane in what he considered to be a romantic manner. If
he'd known that she thought him to look rather bovine at
the moment, he would have been crushed.
Hmmm, you might need to add a word or two explaining why Kunou
looked bovine. I assume it was because of his stare, but that's not
completely clear.
Thanks...will try
"Mr. Kuno, I suggest that you get to your classroom."
*****
One advantage that little Hitoshi had was the fact that
he was very cute. First impressions are important, and
the girls in the class were captivated by the child.
That is, most of the girls. Akane sat in a corner of the
room, watching the rest of the girls hovering over the
toddler. Ukyo noticed, and joined her.
"Is something wrong, Akane?"
"Did you see the way Kuno looked?"
"Yeah, kind of beat up. Wasn't that because of you?"
"Nope. If he has anything from me, it's a bump on the
head. So where did the scratches come from, and what
happened to his clothes?"
"You don't think Hitoshi did it, do you?"
"He IS a Kuno."
Just then one of the girls shrieked and ran to the sink.
She began to cry as she ran cold water over her hand.
The teacher was there in seconds.
"What's wrong?"
"He BIT me!"
Well, he SORTA takes after his uncle Tatty...
He does? Who did HE bite?
<girl-type Ranma: "Don't look at ME!!!">
After that things only went downhill. Ukyo and Akane
watched as Hitoshi went on a rampage. He refused to sit
and listen to stories, instead destroying the book. When
the girls tried to interest him in building a tower of
blocks, he knocked them down and then threw the blocks at them.
If this were anyone but a Kunou, I might accuse you of exaggeration.
;)
Someone got the bright idea of making him a snack. She
and the rest of the girls ended up wearing it--mostly in
their hair.
While they were cleaning up the mess, Hitoshi decided to
have some fun of his own. He started to pour water out
of the classroom windows.
Ah. Here we go. I knew this had to tie in somewhere. ^_^
Had to have one stock water-at-the-wrong-time scene.
Down below, Shampoo was chasing Ranma around with a
delivery of ramen. The water hit both of them, and soon
Ranma disappeared over the horizon, trying to run from
the cat which had its claws buried in the back of his shirt.
A little predictable, but okay.
As I said....
Ukyo and Akane sat in the corner the entire time,
watching the carnage and whispering quietly to each
other. When the teacher and the other girls were at
their wits' end, they approached Hitoshi. Everyone held
their breath as Akane and Ukyo walked right past him, and winked.
The wink intrigued the child. He followed to where Ukyo
and Akane had huddled in another corner, whispering.
They ignored him as he tried to listen in, and continued
to whisper.
Akane looked down when a small hand touched her arm.
"You have a secret?"
"Yes. You want to hear?"
Hitoshi nodded enthusiastically.
Now, this is good.
Thank you. Kids just don't LIKE being ignored, and if this one has the Kuno
ego, he'll be even worse.
The teacher strained her ears, trying unsuccessfully to
hear what the conversation in the corner was about.
Unfortunately, she and the others in the room were only
able to hear small bits of what Akane and Ukyo were
saying. The only voice that rang out clearly was Hitoshi's.
"...want to learn...later?"
"Yes! Yes! I want to!"
"....then you can...say...and..."
"Okay! I can do that!"
*****
Ukyo and Akane were excused from the rest of their
classes in order to stay with Hitoshi. The teacher was
afraid that if they tried to get anyone else to watch
him, he would go out of control again. Instead, she left
him entirely in their care.
Eventually, the school day ended. Kuno arrived at the
classroom to check on his cousin.
"Ah! The fair Akane has been caring for my cousin! How
can I express my gratitude? OUCH!"
Kuno fell over. He had been hit from behind by a small
wooden bokken, wielded by an equally small child. He sat
up and looked at his cousin, who pointed the bokken at him.
"Tatty no baka!"
Ukyo grinned at Akane. "He learns well, doesn't he?"
The door opened, and Principal Kuno entered. He saw his
son sitting on the floor and laughed.
"'Ey, little brudda, you lookin' silly, you know dat?"
His laughter stopped quickly when Hitoshi's bokken came
down on his foot.
"Uncle look silly! Uncle no baka!"
The teacher put both hands over her mouth in an attempt
to suppress her laughter, and fled. Akane and Ukyo
didn't even bother to try. They laughed until they cried.
Principal Kuno wasn't around to see it. He grabbed his
nephew and got himself home as fast as he could. The
cries of "Uncle no baka" echoed through the streets as he ran.
As well as the thwacks of a diminutive bokken, no doubt.
OUCH
*****
Minori arrived to pick up her son. When she walked into
the house she discovered him fast asleep on a mat,
clutching a small bokken. Her brother, niece, and nephew
were all sitting nearby, looking totally exhausted.
She picked her son up, and gave him a kiss. He woke and
smiled at her.
"Did you miss Mommy?"
"Mommy no baka!"
Minori glared at the other occupants of the room. "What
have you taught my darling child?"
The three started to back away. When Minori got mad, it
was time to run. Fast.
***********************
It was cute, June, but I think the ending fizzled a bit. Having
Hitoshi go on a rampage for over half the fic seemed to cry for
something a little stronger (and a little longer) and substantially
more responsible than the child learning to call his family "Xxxx no
baka" and then abuse them. I kept waiting for a life lesson that
never came, one that might put him on a better track than his
relations. Wistful thinking with the Kunous, no doubt, but the story
seemed to set up that way.
It wasn't mean to have any deep meanings!
Well, interesting anyway. Keep 'em coming!
I'll try.
June