Subject: [FFML] [Ranma/xover] Our Wedding Day - Part 7
From: Jack Staik
Date: 4/10/2000, 12:52 AM
To: Fanfic Mailing List




-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: owd07.txt

DISCLAIMER: Nabiki is innocent of any and all wrong-doing. 
(She paid me to say that.)

--------------------
Ranma 1/2: "Our Wedding Day" pt. 7
by Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
--------------------

Ranma passed by the door on his way to go upstairs when the 
doorbell rang again. He went to get it, finding Jiro on the 
other side.

"Hey, oniichan! Emphasis on 'oni'," Ranma greeted him. "What 
are ya' doin' over here?"

Jiro forced a smile. Not exactly 'forced' - somehow, he was 
finding it easier to get along with his smartass half-
brother now (but he'd be damned before he admitted it). "To 
see Kasumi-chan, you dip. Is she here?"

"Yep, in the dining room. She'll probably be glad to see you 
- can't imagine why." He smirked, "Watch out for the 
Estrogen Brigade."

Jiro raised his eyebrow in puzzlement and wandered into the 
dining room. He noted the hole in the wall and decided not 
to ask; Mind-Your-Own-Business is a good policy on the road.

The visitors looked up at the *gorgeous*, much older guy who 
just came in. The schoolgirls took deep breaths, stuck out 
their chests, and smiled sweetly.

"Jiro-kun!" Kasumi cried, getting up. "So good to see you 
again! Come in, would you like some tea?"

"Hi, Kasumi-chan," Jiro answered politely. "If I'm 
interrupting -"

"Not at all - have a seat!"

The girls exhaled, hauled in their weaponry, and the smiles 
became just polite. <Damn - taken!> they thought ruefully.

He looked around, seeing an empty space between Kasumi's 
seat and Ranko, and settled in next to his sister.

He waved at the baby, "Hiya, Old Fa-"

"Watch language!" Shampoo shook a finger at Jiro, making 
chills run down his spine. <Damn - she looks just like Mom 
when she does that!> he thought.

Ranko turned and swatted him in the head with a kimono 
pattern.

"Hey, what was that for?" he asked, annoyed.

"Shut up, you ... *male*!" she hissed.

"Who pissed in her canteen?"

"Behave yourself," Akane asked politely. "She and Doctor 
Tofu just had a fight."

"Aww, poor Imouto-chan!" he cooed sarcastically, placing an 
arm around her. "Forget the relationships; one-night stands 
are the best way to go. They always work for me."

A mallet appeared out of nowhere, landing on Jiro's head. 
Kasumi held the other end of it, a look of stern disapproval 
on her sweet face.

"Ah, Kasumi-chan," he stated. "Imagine meetng you here of 
all places ..."

"Yes," she said in a sweet-yet-acidic tone. "Just imagine."

As she turned and left, Jiro followed pleading. "It wasn't 
what it sounded like - honest! I would never think of you as 
a sex object! You're nothing like those young, pretty 
girls!"

"So I'm old and ugly?" she snapped.

"No! You're not old at all!" he answered in panic.

"So I'm ugly!!"

"Only when you're mad - hey wait!"

Kasumi stomped to the kitchen, not listening as Jiro dug his 
own grave.

Shampoo shook her head. "Foot-in-mouth disease hereditary," 
she commented.

"Seems to point that way," Akane agreed.

"That's the first time I ever saw Kasumi get mad like that," 
Nabiki commented. "Must be love."

Sayuri asked, "Ranko, did he just call you 'little sister'?"

"Yeah," she said, stuffing some hors d'oeuvres in her mouth. 
"The jerk's my brother."

"I thought you were Ranma's sister."

"I am," Ranko clarified. "I'm also that butthead's sister. 
Life sucks."

"You must be very proud, Saotome-san," Kikuko said to 
Nodoka, "To have two sons as handsome as Ranma and Jiro."

"Jiro isn't my son," Nodoka answered. "I only had Ranma and 
Ranko."

The schoolgirls got *very* interested.

"Tell," they said to Nabiki.

Nabiki just smiled. "Sorry, I've found better work. Get your 
information from someone else."

Sayuri and Yuka looked at Kikuko.

"I'll pay thirty thousand for the whole story," she said to 
Nabiki.

Nabiki grinned. "Actually, I'm in negotiations with TokyoTV 
to have it turned into an anime. You'll have to dig for 
information."

Akane smirked. At least her private life would just be the 
subject of rumor and speculation, without the detailed 
exposure (complete with photographs) it had in the past.

"Heck, I'll tell," Ranko stated. "That jerk, Ranma and I, 
Ryoga, and another bunch of folks all have the same father - 
a guy named Ichiro Hibiki."

"You'll never get anywhere in the information-brokering 
market, Ko-chan," Nabiki commented.

"Feh," Ranko replied, too ticked off to care what Nabiki
thought.

"Sounds romantic," Kikuko sighed.

"It was," Nodoka sighed.

"I wish it would happen to me ... " Sayuri added. 

"EWW! That's my father-in-law you're talking about!" Akane 
pointed out sharply.

"Wouldn't stop him," Ranko mumbled.

"Wow," Yuka said in awe. "Where is he now?"

"I believe he said he was working along Sunset Road today," Nodoka 
informed her.

"My house is on Sunset Road!" Yuka said. 

"Oh, my," Akane commented in place of the absent Kasumi.

Everyone else remained silent, then Shampoo asked, "You know 
who father is?"

"Um ..." Yuka stammered nervously, blushing. "Well ... y'see 
..."

"Crap!" Nabiki commented.

"By the way," Ranko asked, "what's your blood-type?"

"It's kind of exotic -"

"Double crap!" Akane added.

"Watch language in front of baby!" Shampoo exclaimed.

"Gomen. What type?"

"The doctor called it 'double-positive' -"

"BWAAAK!" Ranko, Shampoo, and Nabiki commented together.

"Oh, triple crap! With frosting" Nabiki sighed. "The Masked 
Sperm-Donor strikes again!"

"Mebbe not." Ranko pulled out her blood-testing kit. "I can 
clear this up in an hour or so - your finger, please?"

"Where'd you get that, Ko-chan?" Nabiki asked with interest.

"There are perks to working for a physician - even a rat-
bastard one," she grumbled through clenched teeth.

"You ain't stickin' *nothin'* in me!!!" Yuka explained to 
her in a very shrill voice.

"I could just take it," Ranko said, letting her eyes glow 
with battle aura. "but you want to cooperate, don't you?"

Yuka held out her hand.

"Nice technique," Nabiki said, smirking.

"I practiced it on vampire potatoes," Ranko replied 
absently.

No one knew how to reply to *that*, so they allowed her to 
draw a sample from the poor girl.

 * * * * * * * * * *

No one could explain how it happened, nor where it came 
from. All that anyone who witnessed the catastrophe could 
say was "The light ... the light ... "

At Nerima General Hospital, not long after sunset, a 
slightly-delirious (and much-medicated) Ina Sophia heard 
something. Her sweet Ono-sama was hurt. He was admitted in 
the emergency room of the hospital and then sent home the 
next morning.

"Oh my!" she muttered, "I must go to my Ono-sama! He'll need 
my tender loving care!"

A ripple passed over her as the glamour she had maintained 
for so long slipped, letting her figure become slightly more 
petite, and her hair change to a creamsicle-orange color.

"I'm sorry, Sophia-san," A nurse said comfortingly, trying 
to persuade the girl to lay back down.

"FIRE-BALLLLL!!!"

The entire south wing of the hospital was shattered in a 
blast of mystical force. Oddly enough, no one was seriously 
injured. 

She paused, looking down at her singed hospital shift and 
scuffed black slippers.

"Oops. Maybe I should clean up before I visit my Ono-sama. I 
must look a fright."

 * * * * * * * * * *

After about an hour of apologies and promises for a date 
that night, Kasumi and Jiro were talking in the living room 
about the impending wedding while drinking lemonade. The 
door bell rang, and she excused herself to answer it.

She opened the door and found a basket on the front step. In 
the basket was a gurgling figure in a bonnet and diapers 
with a note pinned to the blanket.

	[Ranma,] (the note began)
	[You may not remember me but we met at a party nine 
	months ago. You promised to marry me, then never called 
	again. Please take care of our child.]
	(Signed)
	[Your Mystery Lover.]

Kasumi kicked the basket over.

"OW!" Genma protested.

"Honestly, Genma," Kasumi said. "Please don't insult my 
intelligence."

"Er ... who's Genma?" the diaper-wearing man said.

<SPLASH!> Kasumi's lemonade left her glass.

[I'm a cute l'il baby,] read the panda-sign.

Kasumi rolled her eyes. "And to think I thought Ranma-kun 
was exaggerating his stupidity."

She slammed the door and went back to the living room. 

"Who was that?" Jiro asked.

"A deadbeat," she replied, settling next to him. "Now, you 
said something about acting as bouncer for the wedding?"

Outside, Soun was helping Genma up. "I *told* you it was a 
stupid idea, Saotome."

[Shut up, Tendo,] the sign replied.

 * * * * * * * * * *

Akane dialed up the number given to her, waiting for the 
other end to pick up.

"Moshi-moshi, Ohayi Photography Studio."

"Hi, my name is Akane Saotome and I would like a 
photographer for my reception."

"All right. Just the reception?"

"Yes. The priest prefers no photography during the ceremony. 
Oh, can you also do group portraits?"

"Of course."

Meanwhile, the rest of the ladies were starting on the 
wedding kimonos. Ranko let the embroidered white satin slip 
gently through her fingers as she measured out the lengths 
for the panels of Akane's first wedding kimono.

"How beautiful ... " she murmured. "Reminds me of that Irish 
dance we saw on video the other night, the one where that 
woman with the really big red hair sang ... 

"['I dreamt last night
that my true love came in
Softly he came up
his feet made no din
And I thought that he spoke of
to me he did say
It will not be long, love,
til our wedding day.']"

The rest of the women didn't understand English as well, but 
they felt it.

"Sheesh, one wedding and you all go mushy on me," Nabiki 
said sarcastically.

"Biki, be patient. You'll understand someday," Ranko 
replied.

"Sorry, Ko-chan, but I have other things to worry about than 
finding a man to justify my excistence," she stated, picking 
up the scissors.

"To each their own way," her sister-in-law remarked.

Akane giggled. 

"What's so funny?" Ranko asked.

"Mentioning that Irish dance tape we saw," Akane said, "I suddenly thought - Martial Arts Clogging."

The Tendo girls all laughed, picturing the gaijin gals 
playing Morrigan and Colleen beating the crap out of each 
other by Irish dancing.

"Don't tell Niichan," Ranko said, "He'll be in tap shoes 
before you know it."

A fresh round of laughter burst out. Nabiki, imagining Ranma 
in the high-heeled tap shoes worn by Irish dancers, laughed 
hardest.

 * * * * * * * * * *

Ranma went back out to the dojo, feeling too much estrogen 
in the air for his comfort.

He thought about what happened last night. Of Ranko breaking 
in on his and Akane's intimate moment, then the quarrel in 
the hall.

Ranma punched the air, kicking it into submission as the 
emotions surfaced. He became a whirlwind of motion.

Ko-chan, right there, secreting the scent of aroused woman. 
Her breasts flushed and her thighs pressed tightly together, 
her hips moving gently. He saw Akane do the same things when 
she became aroused.

His movements speeded, twirling through the air like a 
deadly Dervish.

But why was Ko-chan turned on? Walking in on them like that? 
Was she doing something else, something that Akane showed 
him that women do?

The memory of her fragrantly wet flesh was vivid in his 
mind. It only made him fight his invisible opponent faster, 
harder. Forbidden Lust was its name. He fought like hell.

How *could* he desire her? How *dare* he even begin to want 
to bed his sister? How dare he want to take her back to the 
attic and take her like he should have when she first 
stepped out of the mirror!

<But we really aren't brother and sister; I was born from 
woman, she was born from a mirror - similar, but the doc 
said that genetically - >

Ranma hit his fist into the floor, shattering the wood under 
it. Damnit, he was letting *It* think for him! Again!

With a raging lust, he dashed into the house and located 
Akane at the sewing machine.

"Excuse me," he asked, passing a glance at Ranko, then 
grabbed Akane up and slung her over his shoulder as he raced 
back out to the dojo.

The women remained silent, then Kikuko asked, "What was 
*that* all about?"

"Makes the third time today," Nabiki yawned. "And it's not 
even noon yet."

"Not bad, Shampoo take note," the Amazon chuckled. <After
all,> she thought, <Ryoga has much more stamina ...>

"Oh," Yuka and Sayuri stated together in realization.

Nodoka sighed. "My manly son," she said with pride. 

Everyone got *very* embarassed at that and went back to 
working on the kimono.

Ranko stared after them for a long moment, replaying the 
look on his face.

Pure, unadulterated lust.

For a moment, she felt he was directing it *at* her. Then 
decided to ignore it; other things to do. A wedding to plan.

 * * * * * * * * * *

Ukyo glanced through the paper's classified setion. She and 
Konatsu were seated together near a yatai, one of the 
numerous portable diners that travel around Tokyo. Between 
eating bento lunches they purchased, they were scanning for 
a storefront for their new okonomiyaki restaurant.

"It's good the insurance gave you some extra money, huh, 
Ukyo-sama?" he asked.

"It helped. Although I have to get new equipment now. 
Ahhhhh."

"What did you find?"

"The perfect place, although it's just inside the city - 
perfect for the OL crowd. I'm sure we can build our 
clientele again."

"What about your schooling?" Konatsu asked.

"What about it?"

"You'll need a high school diploma - and preferrably a 
college degree."

She dismissed it with a wave of her hand. "I've got my own 
business - won't need it."

"Ukyo-sama!" Konatsu said sharply. "You *will* need it! And 
you *will* finish your schooling!"

Ukyo looked up in surprise. The little transvestite had 
never spoken to her like *that* before. He'd never raised 
his voice before.

Konatsu saw the shock in her eyes, and looked away in 
embarassment. "Sorry, Ukyo-sama. But I feel strongly about 
this."

"You - never spoke up before," she said. "I was surprised."

"I think that had a lot to do with your ... problems. If I'd 
spoken up, tried to stop you -"

"I'd have hurt you."

Konatsu nodded.

Ukyo smiled at him. "Thanks for caring, Natsu-chan."

Konatsu froze. <She called me ... Natsu-chan??>

Ukyo gazed at the fainting kunoichi in puzzlement ... and 
not a little bit of pride.

"I should thank Ranma for dumping me," she mused. "Konatsu's 
a lot more fun to flirt with. Less labor-intensive, too."

 * * * * * * * * * *

<knock-knock-knock>

Nabiki and Ranko looked at each other; someone was actually 
knocking?

"Could you get that, Nabiki-chan?" Kasumi asked from the 
living room. "I think it's for you."

"Sure, oneechan," she stood from the fabric cutting and 
wandered into the front hall.  Sasuke stood against the 
wall, waiting for her.  "What are you doing, short stuff?"

"In case they are assassins, Nabiki-sama."

"Lemme guess: Kuno-Baby thinks people would kill him on his 
front step."

"Of course. Doesn't everyone want to kill him?"

Nabiki thought about it, then nodded. "Logical. So, let me 
answer the door," Nabiki commanded as she pulled the door 
open.

Outside on the step was a television reporter and cameraman. 
The reporter had a lean and hungry look, with a gleam in her 
eye that only vultures had.

Nabiki smiled, recognizing a sucker.

"Konnichi wa, I'm Sachiko Himamya from DNA News Japan - "

"Hi, I'm Nabiki Tendo; executor."

"Tendo-san! We hear that a Ranma Saotome came into 
possession of billions of yen!"

"Really? Was it that much?" She tapped her temple, 
attempting to remember such information.

"You did call yourself executor."

"Did I? Let me think ... oh, yes. Ranko Saotome."

"Ran*ma*!"

"No, Ranko," Nabiki confirmed.

"Ranko Saotome is the heir?"

"Ranko who?"

"Saotome. The heir to the billions of yen."

"What billions of yen?"

"The billions you're the executor to!"

Nabiki raised her eyebrows. "Who am I? Who are you?"

The camerman was chuckling to himself.

"Huh?"

"'Not yet, not yet
The song of stars
Drifting in deep mind
Tells you the time
Dreams to be found
On which stars?
Tears fall down
Purely reaching to you ... the song
Remember this color, don't you?'"

"Come on, Komida!" the reporter huffed, turning on one spike 
heel and stomping away.

The cameraman released one chortle as he followed her, 
glancing back and waving at an evilly-grinning Nabiki. She 
waved back, closing the door.

Sasuke rubbed his eyes. "Did I just witness what I heard?"

"Sasuke-Baby, one thing you have to know about working for 
me: it's okay to yank chains."

"Um ... "

"That means 'for shits and grins'."

"Ahhhhhhh."

--------------------
First set of lyrics (sung by Ranko) are from "Our Wedding 
Day" from the Irish dance production "Lord of the Dance", 
the inspiration for the title.

Second set of lyrics (sung by Nabiki) are from "A Song 
Without a Song" from the anime "Please Save My Earth".



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