Subject: [FFML] Re: [Ranma][Fanfic] Hearts and Minds, part 4 (first half) of 10
From: warr@pobox.alaska.net (Warr)
Date: 4/8/2000, 5:34 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com
CC: harnums@thekeep.org, kleppe@mediaone.net

Hey,

It's sad when I comment on the comments and havn't read the story...  I've
read all and commented on most of the preludes, though that was a while
back.  . . . just waiting for this series to be finished before I read it.


As a way to avoid starting a sentence with "There were", let me suggest:

Ranma crawled quietly from vehicle top to vehicle top.  Trucks, jeeps and a
few tanks -- about thirty total -- were parked bumper to bumper in neatly
arranged rows.

Afaik, if you're going to use dashes, there shouldn't be any spaces.  Just had
a teacher yell at me for that, actually. . . .

Hrm.  Considering the amount of trade that goes on between China and Japan,
I doubt that merely having a bottle marked MADE IN JAPAN would keep the
soldiers from laying the blame upon Ranma's group.  If they want to make it
clear that they're responsible, why not something more obvious--a message
in the bottle, perhaps?

'sides, to quote the movie Armageddon.

"U.S. componants...  Russian compnants...  All made in Taiwan!"

Can't think of any more comments on the comments so I'm gonna get back
to my assignment.  Anyone wanna preread a paper on FBI and Civil
Liberties?  ^_-


Keep up the good work, Gary!  At least I assume it was good.  heh


Warr

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