Subject: [FFML] Re: C&C Genma's Daughter Part 1
From: "Mass Dahn" <mass_dahn@hotmail.com>
Date: 3/23/2000, 12:48 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Comments on Comments commenting Comments you mean.


Comments on comments@@


well anyway here is MY comments on Comments that Comments Comments commenting Comments.. �� geez


>Nodoka searched Akane's eyes for some sign of
recognition, but
>found none. The sound of footsteps in the hall behind
her caused
>her to turn again. Soun stood there, with Kasumi
beside him. Soun
>started to speak, but apparently couldn't find the
right words.
>He settled, instead, for successfully fighting back
his
>ever-present tears.
>
>## Use of Soun's "tears" are unnecessary
>at this point and detract from the story. Personally
>I feel that Souns tears/demon head, Akane's
mallet/cooking,
>Rouga getting lost world wide, etc should be used
>VERY carefully and sparingly since they've been
>reduced to the point of cliche.  You've got a
>very nice story to this point. Don't spoil it. ^_^


Yes, but if Soun wouldn't cry open seeing Nodoka after
seen he had seen
her see her daughter in female form I don't know when
he would cry.

@@The point was, IMO, "Soun's tears" detract from the
story.
IMO it was unnecessary to the story and,_to me_, read
as if it had
been added to the story simply as a rather "stock"
fanfiction cliche.


��NO.. this isn't just something used to fill out the space. Its ��justed to show that Soun really is Crying. See Now it would be ��revealed and it was quit possible that he would get in a heap of ��trouble.


@@ Omnipresent: universal or present everywhere.  I
did not and
do not think it fits.

It felt almost like a shrine, well kept and well
loved, but with
the sort of [pervasive] weight that made you want to
speak in
whispers.

It felt almost like a shrine, well kept and well
loved, but with
the sort of [ever present]weight that made you want to
speak in
whispers.

It felt almost like a shrine, well kept and well
loved, but with
the sort of [universal] weight that made you want to
speak in
whispers.


��I know that But its Universal in a MASTER sort of way. like they ��are being Mastered by the room.

@@As I pointed out to the authors, one of the problems
with writing fanfiction is dealing with established
characters
and situations. Ranma, as an established character
does NOT
feel this way. IMO this particular fanfiction needed
more
"back story" to make these changes convincing, IMO.

@@I understand this was the authors intent. However,
again IMO,
there was too much left unsaid in this story. The
authors are dealing
with well established characters and situations.
Making such drastic changes
is perfectly legitimate. Changes are the heart of
fanfiction. However, IMO,
such changes need a great deal of justification and
development.


��Okay. my opinion. I think the Ranma story would have been better if ��it was like Deborahs story.


@@You don't have to yell.
I stand by my opinion that the story is insufficiently
developed to this point to make Akane and Ranma
believable characters. IMO the authors
have developed interesting characters and situations
in a well written style. The basic problem, IMO, is
overcoming
their already established characters in order to make
_this_ story believable.


��Actually I think it would be more believable to Belive Ranma as a ��real person if it was based on this Fanfiction. but again its just ��mine opinion.


Ranma and Akane. By all means make changes, but
_justify_ those
changes within the context of the story. Otherwise you
have
characters of the same name but bearing no discernible
relationship to
the originals.


��I also like it when things get explained and sometimes I really ��hate it when authors don't explain things. However in this story it ��fits better not to explain. Besides its fairly obvs WHY and I ��don't think there is any more need of further Justification. ��besides if you visit the homepage the changes will be described ��before you read the story. OH yeah and you use IMO waaaaay to much.

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com



-- 
               .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List---.
               | Administrators - ffml-admins@fanfic.com |
               | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@fanfic.com |
               |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject    |
               `---http://www.fanfic.com/FFML-FAQ.txt ---'