This is just a scene worked two different ways of a what-if scenario
where Ranma is Tuxedo Kamen. Just for grins. :) My apologies if
I've duplicated someone else's humor or scene; I'm not well-versed
in Sailor Moon fanfiction.
Thanks to Andrew Norris for the once-over.
********TAKE ONE********
"Take heart, Sailor, er, Moon! In yer darkest, um, hour, Love (aw,
jeez) will lift ya ta victory!"
The four Inner Senshi, Sailor Moon, and the youma all stumble to a
halt and sweatdrop.
"Yeah... Uh, that about wraps it up... I think."
"You call THAT a SPEECH?!" Usagi yells at Tuxedo Kamen.
"Hey! I ain't used to talkin' all poetic-like and stuff! Lay off,
klutzy tomboy!"
"WHAT... DID... YOU... CALL... MEEEE?!"
Tuxedo Kamen stuck his tongue out at Sailor Moon, and Usagi steamed,
the pavement crackling around her. The youma decided it was time to
take out Sailor Moon.
"RRRAAARRRRR!!!" it screamed as it headed toward the leader of the
Senshi.
Usagi whipped her head around, spearing the youma with the white
glow of her eyes. "NOW IS *NOT* THE TIME!!"
Ranma jumped off the windowsill and sped towards the love of his
live. "BAKA OTEMBA! GET OUTTA THE WAY!!! MOUKO TAKA--"
"PISSED MOON ESCALATION!!!"
Sailor Moon's most powerful non-tiara attack ever roared and
incinerated the youma and most of the shop behind it. With her eyes
still burning white, she spun on the skidding Tuxedo Mask.
"Uh, heh heh. Hey, uh, Moon-chan, heh."
"OOOH! Moon-CHAN, is it now?! What happened to KLUTZY TOMBOY,
HUH?!?! BAKA OTEMBA, HUH?!?!?!"
"Hey! Ya coulda got *hurt*!!"
"I'M THE MOON PRINCESS!! I'M SUPPOSED TO GET HURT, DAMN IT!!!"
"WELL FINE, SAILOR BAKA MOON, GET YERSELF TRASHED NEXT TIME!!! SEE
IF *I* CARE!!!"
The glow guttered out in Moon's eyes, and her lip trembled. "You...
you don't care...?" Water spilled down her cheeks. "WAAAHHH!!!"
"Awww, please don't cry, Usako! That's not what I *meant*!"
"I don't care about you anymore, baka! Leave me alone!" Still
wailing, Sailor Moon spun on her heel and stalked down the street,
trailing droplets.
Ranma tagged along, pleading. "I *do* care! Don't be mad! Yer my
queen!"
"Go away!" she screeched.
They dwindled into the distance. The remaining four senshi looked at
each other.
"Well, that went okay, I thought," Rei quipped. The rest nodded.
*********END ONE*********
*********TAKE TWO*********
"Right! Kick some ass, Sailor Moon!" Tuxedo Mask lounged on a nearby
balcony, sipping some bottled water.
Five very-tired Senshi and a surprised youma stumbled and stared at
the martial artist-turned-Prince of Earth.
"Ra-- ERRR, Tuxedo Mask! Where's your speech?" Sailor Moon scratched
her head.
"Gah. Tired 'a talkin' like that. Just kick its ass so we can all go
home. That is, if you frilly girls are up to it. Ya been at it
forever."
Usagi, AKA Sailor Moon, steamed. "Girls can fight, too!"
"Yeah, yeah."
"Hey! Where's your rose?" Usagi demanded.
"And your cane?" Ami squeaked.
"Weapons. Gah. Who needs 'em..."
"But, but--"
"But what? Whadda ya want me to say?" Ranma scowled and said in a
sing-song, little girl's voice, dripping with sarcasm, "'VENUS
LOVE-ME CHAIN'? Gag me."
"Hey, Baka!!" Minako blew a fuse. "That's a powerful attack, I'll
have you know!!"
"Yeah, yeah. 'SHINE AQUA ILLUUUUUSION!' If I want a bubble-bath,
I'll call ya."
Ami snapped her Mercury Computer in two, her face red with anger.
She eeped. "Look what you made me DO!!"
"FINE!" Usagi stomped her foot. "If you're so high and mighty, come
down here and finish this youma YOURSELF!!"
"No prob'." Saotome Ranma, AKA Tuxedo Mask, jumped down from the
balcony, causally held up one hand, palm up, and said, sighing,
"Mouko takabisha... bah." The magically-enhanced ki blast
incinerated the youma where it stood. Ranma lowered his arm.
"So what if I don't say, 'MOON HEALING ESCALATOR!'? Bah, ya been
fightin' this youma for an hour and gettin' nowhere. Pathetic...
Um..." Ranma's danger sense started spiking as five glowing Senshi
advanced on him, all wielding mallets made of Silver Imperial
energy.
Ranma swallowed heavily and multiple-sweatdropped. "Uh... See ya
round, girls." He bounded off over the rooftops, five very pissed
Sailor Scouts on his tail, screaming and waving energy mallets.
**********END TWO***********
That's all, folks!
************************************
D.F. Roeder
Fanfiction - http://www.flash.net/~dfroeder/index.html