Just a simple comment, and a slight addendum (and short fic).
First off, I think the guide was very helpful in pointing out a lot of the
problems I've seen in alot of fics. Fight scenes are crucial to most of the
anime featured here (ie, Ranma), as Takahashi-sama was so greatful to point
out (repeatedly, with a mallet). Well written fight scenes add as much to a
story as poorly written ones detract from it (there's a statement for ya ...
try and puzzle that one out! :) ). So, with that in mind, I whole-heartedly
agree with Mr. Towler.
However, I do have just one thing to add to that little guide : there is a
pretty strong tendency to overdo most fight scenes. As important as they
are to the plot of a story, even in a series like Ranma, fight scenes were
only a minor part, time wise, in each episode - it just seems like they were
more. In RL (as little as that has to do with anime), most fights, of the
Ranma-esque level (WWF not withstanding), are over in less than a minute,
and at most, don't last more than five. A significant number of them are
finished in only a few seconds, and the exchange lasts no more than a single
stike.
As a collegiate fencer, and student (albiet a poor one) of Bushido, I have
some first hand experience with this. Quite often, a fifteen touch (AKA,
one of the participants 'dies' 15 times) bout takes no more than two to
three minutes - and that includes the time it takes to return to the line
and reset between each touch.
So, with that in mind, here is something that has been floating around my
hard-drive for some time - serving more as a reminder to me of how I want to
write rather than as anything practical - that reflects the speed that most
fights actually happen at, as well as how, IMHO, to give decent description
to events that take about a tenth of a second. It is entirely original, and
based on my own experiences. C&C if you really want to, or respond in kind,
or whatever, it really doesn't matter to me. I'm sure a number of you could
do this better than I could, but this is more a concept than an actual basis
for anything.
*********
The two men faced off.
He knew the other was better than he. It wasn't difficult to tell. He was
faster, more sure of his motions, and more fluid.
Still, he thought, the mongoose can outwit the snake. All it takes is one
blow.
With that, he stepped forward, raising his sword to ready. His opponent did
much the same, imitating his stance with only a slight variation. He
studied that variation, and the slight opening it left. It was an
invitation, he knew, and opening that would be closed before he even began
his attack, but still, it was a weakness, and it could be exploited.
His opponent took a half step back, ceding the attack, content to fight
defensively. He watched his opponent's blade make slow circles in the air,
first to clockwise, then counter, and waited, slowly advancing, timing his
steps to when his opponent was most out of position.
Suddenly, his opponent's hands blurred. Up, he thought, and instinctively
made to parry - the tip of his blade dropping, then rising again as his
wrists passed it, bringing the blade parrallel to the ground, barring his
opponent's strike. Continuing the motion, he stepped forward, and to the
side, letting his wrists rise, and the tip drop further, intending to catch
his opponent's blade, and deflect it aside, letting the momentum the strike
carry his opponent's blade downwards, and leaving him open to a
counter-attack.
A phantom contact, almost undetectable pressure of blade against blade, and
suddenly his motions were a blur, as he brought his wrists down, the blade
circling up and around, swinging now towards what would be his opponent's
back. Then, just as suddenly, his opponent moved, pulling back into ready,
and his blade caught nothing but air.
A feint. His opponent took another half step back, and he moved to match
it. Drawing me in, he thought.
Once again, his opponents blade flashed, left this time. With a blur, he
brought his own blade to meet it, unable to dodge the strike, and felt the
clang of steel meeting steel. Again, his opponent retreated, but this time
faltered, leaving a hitch in his step, and an opening into which to strike.
My turn, he thought, with a smile, strike for his opponents stomach with a
slash. His opponent was moving again before he had even started his swing,
and instantly had him parried. His opponent struck then, again, and with
effort he turned the momentum of his own weapon to match it.
Striking for the other blade with all of his strength, he felt contact, and
felt his opponents weapon give way. Then, suddenly, he felt his own weapon
twisted from his grip; a tap from his opponents blade sending his own
flying.
Lazily, he watched it sail through the air, vaguely aware of the arc his
opponents blade made as it raced towards him.
*********
Re-reading the original post, the above breaks one of the rules already laid
out, namely being 'to dry and technical', but again, this is more to
illustrate a point. That fight scene probably lasted about 5 seconds - and
compared to most of the bouts I face, that one was what would be considered
a 'complicated' exchange. A simple exchange would be along the lines of "he
faced off with his opponent, circling. He blinked. Suddenly, he was
dead." - but those aren't any fun to write. :)