Subject: [FFML] Re: [Fanfic][Ranma][Cinders, chapter 4]
From: "KaraOhki" <karaohki@snet.net>
Date: 1/27/2000, 9:53 PM
To: "D.F. Roeder" <dfroeder@flash.net>
CC: "ffml" <ffml@fanfic.com>

Thanks again, Dave.
Always appreciate your input

Wheeeee!!!

[...]


The more Soun thought about it, the angrier he became.  How dare
anyone call his little girl "damaged"?

Then he sagged.  He'd seen how badly she was burned.  People
didn't
recover from those sort of injuries without permanent problems.

Soun put his face in his hands and wept.

That was a nice piece of characterization for Soun. Still as
uncertain as ever.

He needs a backbone transplant


[...]


"I'm going to do this.  I'm going to DO this!"

Akane gritted her teeth and got out of bed.  She'd done it once.
How
hard could a second time be?

One step.  Two steps. Then a voice from behind her.

"Want me to help you?"

"No thanks, Ranma.  I want to do it myself.  I HAVE to."  Akane
continued shuffling toward the bathroom, very much aware that
Ranma
was watching her.  She was going to prove to him and to the entire
world that she wasn't "damaged".

Heh.

Is that a positive or negative "heh"?


 Akane was suddenly aware of Ranma's
close presence behind her, which annoyed her a little bit.  Then
she
realized he was probably worried about how weak she was, and
wanted to
be near enough to catch her if she stumbled.  He was still right
behind her when she opened the bathroom door.

"Don't even THINK about following me in here!" she growled.  Ranma
chuckled, and she turned around, expecting a smart remark.
Instead,
all Ranma did was grin and wave her into the bathroom.  When she
came
out he was waiting there, leaning on the wall.

Akane was pale and shaking by the time she got back into bed, but
smiling triumphantly.  She pushed the button on the pump for pain
medication as Ranma pulled the blankets over her.

"I told you I could do it, and next time I'll be faster.  You just
watch!"

Ranma leaned over and kissed his fiancee.  "I will."

Akane made a face.

"Ick.  Morning breath."

Oh, man. Picky thing, ain't she? :)

Have YOU smelled Ranma's morning breath?  Only Akane can answer that
one.


[...]


Kasumi had learned a long time ago that food was a calming
influence
on Ranma.  That was why she'd arrived with breakfast.  She poured
a
bowl of soup for Akane and gestured at Ranma's bowl, which he
still
hadn't touched.

"Eat that before it gets cold."

Ranma, who was still holding Akane's hands, didn't move, and
Kasumi
allowed herself a small show of temper.

"I won't start talking until the two of you start eating!"

All right. Who are you and what have you done with Kasumi? :)
Personally, I like a stronger Kasumi.

As do I


[...]



"I know what you're thinking.  'Kasumi would NEVER do something
like
that!'  Well I would, and I did!  I followed them all the way
home.
Auntie tried to talk once, but Uncle Saotome wouldn't let her.
When
they got to the house I sneaked around to the window and listened
to
them.  They were having an argument."

Yay!! Go get em', Kasumi-chan!

*nod*

[...]


"Yes.  I was as surprised as you are.  But that was nothing
compared
to how I felt when Uncle Saotome kept talking.  Akane, this is
going
to upset you.  Please try to stay calm."

One deep breath later, Kasumi continued.  "He said that he never
liked
Akane, but that he allowed the engagement for two reasons:  One,
that
Akane was the only martial artist out of the three of us.  Two, he
could tell that Ranma had feelings for her.  I wanted to go
through
the window and kill him."

Gods, Genma is such a slime. The only thing he's worried about is
his retirement and an heir.


Exactly.



Only shock prevented Ranma and Akane from responding.

"He said the promise to join the houses had to be kept, and Nabiki
would be the best choice.  He thought she would be the perfect one
to
keep the dojo solvent while Ranma taught.  Auntie objected,
because
she knows that Ranma and Nabiki don't love each other, but he told
her
that didn't matter.  He said all Nabiki had to do was provide him
with
a grandchild, and once she'd done that it didn't matter how they
got
along.  I was still trying to get over that remark when he said
that
if Ranma wasn't happy with her, he could take a mistress.  Then he
started listing who would do--Ukyo, Shampoo, Kodachi.  That was
when I
turned around and went home.  I felt sick."

By this time Akane was so distraught that she was shaking.  Ranma
put
an arm around her for comfort, while trying to keep his own rage
down
below the boiling point.

"Uncle never did answer Auntie's question about why he wanted
everyone
to think it was her idea to break the engagement, but I think I
figured it out myself.  He doesn't want Father to be angry at
him."

Yup.

Well you SAID he was a slime




Ranma nodded.  "You might be right.  But why didn't Nabiki tell us
about this yesterday?"

"I didn't get to tell her until last night."

"What did she say?"

Kasumi looked a little worried.  "She was quiet for a very long
time,
and then she smiled, a scary kind of smile.  She told me that she
had
an idea, but that she wanted to think it through for a while.  All
I
can tell you is that if I were Uncle Saotome, I'd be scared to
death
right now."

Heh. Panda flambe, anyone?

"Oh, look, Momma! The zoo has such a smart panda!"

Nice guesses.  You'll have to wait and see.





*****

"Pop shouldn't be scared of Nabiki.  He should be scared of me."
Ranma's hands closed around his teacup with such force that it was
in
danger of shattering from the pressure.

"Not if I can get to him first," growled Akane.

Ranma's first thought as he looked at his fiancee was relief that
her
anger wasn't directed at him this time.  He had never, ever seen
her
this furious before.  For a split second he felt some sympathy for
his
father, but that was quickly dismissed.  Whatever was going to
happen
to the old man would be no more than he deserved.

It would be perfect justice if, when things have settled down and
Ranma and Akane are safely married and ensconced in the Tendou home,
they refused to allow Genma into the home and hall. I don't know if
that's actually doable, family honor and all that, but it's
satisfying to think about. Any go, I expect Genma's going to be on
extremely thin ice for the rest of his life.

BIG EVIL GRIN





"No."

Though the one word was spoken quite softly, it was enough to
capture
Ranma's attention.  He put the teacup down and looked at Kasumi.

"No?"

"I don't want either of you to do anything until we talk to
Nabiki."

"But--"

"Listen to me!"

Ranma gulped.  He wasn't used to this kind of behavior from
Kasumi.  A
glance at Akane showed that she was equally shocked.

Yeeks!! Pod-Kasumi! :) Sorry, but I'm having fun watching Kasumi
strut her stuff.


I'm glad!  I was little worried about it.




"The two of you have too much at risk to start trouble now!
Ranma, if
you or Akane let it slip that you know what's going on, they're
going
to separate you, I'm sure of it!  Take care of the most important
thing first--get married.  I'm sure Nabiki's making some kind of
plans
for how to handle the family, and if the four of us work together
we'll be okay."

Working with Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane was a new concept to Ranma.

ARGH! Okay, time to put on my comma-ndant hat:   Working with
Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane was...

You are my favorite comma-fixer-upper!



he wanted to do was pound his father into dust, but Kasumi's
argument
that it would do more harm than good was beginning to sink in.

There were a lot of things he needed to think about, and he needed
to
do it privately.  Ranma picked up his bowl, drank the rest of his
soup, and got out of bed.

"I'm going for a walk.  You two can have some girl talk."

*****

"What's wrong with him?" asked Akane.

"Don't you think he has the right to be upset right now?"

Akane shook her head.  "Yes, but that's not what I mean.

Suggest: ... what I meant.

Nice



 I think he's
got something on his mind."

"Really?  I didn't notice."

"I did."

"That's probably because you know Ranma better than any of us."

Kasumi paused, and smiled.  "I don't think Ranma left us alone to
talk
about him.  You look so much better today!  How do you feel?"

"I still hurt a lot, but don't you DARE tell Ranma!"

"Is he fussing over you?"

"Yes.  It's not that I don't like it, but..."

"But?"  Kasumi encouraged Akane with a smile.

"I'm not used to it.  He's being so nice to me."

Akane paused, and then the words came tumbling out.

"I'm scared, Kasumi.  Everything's happening so fast.  First the
wedding, and the f-fire.  Ranma asked the priest to marry us in
the
ambulance, but why did he?"

Kasumi neatly turned the question around.  "Why did you say yes?"

Hmmm, this reeks of Vince's influence. :P

Vince and I think alike quite often.  It's scary.




"I was so scared," Akane whispered.  "I was sure that I was going
to
die.  I wanted to be Ranma's wife before it was too late."

"And how do you feel about it now?  Do you still want to marry
him?"

"More than anything.  I love him.  But I'm tired. Kasumi."

punc.: But I'm tired, Kasumi."

Thanks





Kasumi got up and sat on the edge of her sister's bed.  She gently
put
her arm around Akane's shoulders.  "That doesn't hurt, does it?"

"Not enough to matter."

"If you're that tired, do you want me to go home so you can nap?"

"No.  Not that kind of tired."

Akane began to sniffle.  "I'm tired of this mess!  I want my life
to
be normal!  And...and...I'm not sure..."  Akane trained off,
unsure of
how to explain to Kasumi what she was feeling.

"You're not sure about Ranma, are you?"

"No," she whispered.  "He keeps telling me that he loves me,
but--"
Akane bit her lip and closed her eyes.  This was harder than she
thought it would be.

Suggest: This was harder than she'd thought it would be.

Noted




"I'm afraid that he's just sorry for me."

Akane's sniffles turned into full-blown weeping, and Kasumi
gathered
her little sister into her arms and let her cry herself out.

"You're going to have to talk to him, Akane.  You can't marry
Ranma
with doubts like these.  But if you want MY opinion, he wants
exactly
what you do.  I've been watching him, and I think he's as tired of
this mess as you are."  Kasumi smiled as Akane sat up again,
looking a
lot more positive than she had a few minutes before.

"You really think so?  Sometimes I think the only way we'll get
any
peace is if we ran off together."

"So why don't you?"

"KASUMI?"

Kasumi laughed.  "I'm not telling you to run away forever.  After
all,
the house is going to belong to you and Ranma, right?  And you do
intend to teach together, don't you?"

"We've never talked about it."

"Then I suggest that you do.  Nabiki is doing everything she can
to
get you two married, but you'd better not take that step unless
you're
absolutely sure you're doing the right thing."

Kasumi got up and began to gather the dishes together and pack
them
up.

"I'm going to leave you alone now, but I want you to think about
something.  Try to figure out what your life would be like with
Ranma
in it, and what it would be like without him.  Then I want you two
to
talk."

"I will.  I promise."

*****

Ranma  walked

extra space


down the hallway until he reached the sitting room.  It
was normally used for visitors who needed a place to rest, and he
was
relieved to find it empty.

Everything was happening at once, and much too fast.  He needed to
catch his breath, and think.  He plugged his IV pump into an
outlet
next to one of the couches, and sat down.

Images of the past few days flooded his mind, starting with the
battle
at Jusendo, where he nearly lost Akane, and ending with the fire,
where he nearly lost her again.  So much fighting, so much
insanity.
Would it ever end?

Right now he was very worried about Akane.  He'd never seen her so
fragile.  He had always admired her strength, even if it was
directed
against him in the form of violence when she got angry.  Now he ba
rely
recognized her as the Akane he loved.  She'd shown a couple of
sparks
of her old self, first with her insistence on walking to the
bathroom
on her own, and second with her display of anger when she
discovered
the old man's true feelings about her.  Hopefully, that meant she
would get better.  Her quietness and bouts of weeping were scaring
him, especially since she was trying to hide some of her crying
from
him by waiting until she thought him asleep.

Ranma closed his eyes and forced himself to keep going.  There was
something that bothered him more than anything else, and he was
having
trouble facing it.

Would Akane be better off with him, or without him?  He wanted
her,
more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life.

"Yeah, and look where that's gotten us," he murmured.  "We've had
nothing but trouble."

Nothing but trouble, but did it have to be that way?  Maybe he
should
just take her away somewhere quiet, where they could start all
over.

"Sure, the famous Saotome-running-away trick.  Damn it, Ranma,
you're
a coward!"  [And if anyone comes in here and finds me talking to
myself, they'll think I'm crazy.]

No.  It was time to ask Akane what she really thought.  If she
wanted
to be with him, then they had to be strong.  Together.  Ranma knew
that there would always be a new challenge--to him, to Akane, or
to
the dojo.  That meant Akane had to be willing to live with the
unexpected.  Was she willing?  Again, he had to ask, or he would
never
know.

It occurs to me that at some point, Ranma is likely to start having
difficulties with guilt over what's happened to Akane. Until the
fire that burned Akane, nothing has really, permanently happened to
any of the R 1/2 characters, other than the curses, and this
prolonged dealing with it is new for Ranma, in a way. Just a
thought.

I agree, even if it's not his fault.  Ranma takes Akane's safety very
personally.  That's why he'll be very unhappy when he's released from
the hospital and she has to remain there.

[...]


That was when the pressure would start.  His father would probably
tell him about his engagement to Nabiki the second he got home.

If things worked as planned, he and Akane would be married by
then.
Somehow they had to keep that a secret until she got out of the
hospital.

Suggest: Somehow, they had to keep...

OK

[...]


Ranma had said she looked better.  He'd said that she was HIS
Akane,
and he didn't care about the burns.  He'd said he loved her.  Was
that
the truth, or was he saying it to make her feel better?

Akane wiped the back of her hand across her stinging eyes.  Ranma
had
to be telling the truth.  He was the worst liar she knew.

Heh.




As far as Akane could see, being without Ranma meant being pretty
miserable.  What about being with him?

Unless Ranma could do something to change it, he was going to have
trouble with girls.  He just seemed to attract them, even though
he
didn't try to.  Akane could finally admit that to herself. Ranma
didn't chase girls.  They chased him.

Shampoo and Ukyo had finally gotten the message.  As far as
Kodachi
was concerned, Akane still expected trouble from her.  That slap
might
discourage her for a day or two, but she'd be back.

Would it be different once they were married?  Akane knew that a
wedding ring on a man's finger made him even more desirable to
some
girls.  She involuntarily made a fist.  If anyone came near her
husband...

Husband.  Was that what she really wanted?  Ranma for a husband?
What
would it be like?

Akane pictured herself living in her home, with Ranma.  Once they
finished school Ranma might want to begin teaching with her.  Then
again, he'd spent so much time as a wandering martial artist he
might
wish to do that again.  If so, would he want her to go with him?
Would she want to go?

Mmm, tough questions for Akane. She's never really been the
wandering type. Of course, the question is whether Ranma is actually
the wandering type or not. That's not really been addressed in
canon, I don't think. He did it, but is he the type, like his father
is?

I'll get into that further later in the story.




What about all the enemies Ranma had made through the years?
Akane
had become accustomed to the strangest people showing up on the
doorstep, looking for a fight, and if they weren't showing up at
the
dojo, they were attacking Ukyo or Shampoo, and Ranma felt
obligated to
step in.  She expected he'd always be that way--ready to help
where he
was needed.

Akane forced herself to look at that honestly.  She would be
disappointed in Ranma if he didn't help, and in herself if she
didn't
do what she could to help too.

The more she looked at both options, the more she realized that
she
would take Ranma, craziness and all, over being alone.

Now if she could find the courage to tell him, and to ask him what
he
truly felt.

There was a sound at the door and Akane looked up, expecting to
see
Ranma.  Instead, a pleasant-looking woman stood there.

"Hello, Akane.  I'm Miki.  Can I come in?"

Heh, remind me to tell you about another manga Miki. :P


I have to change the name.  I already have a Miki (unseen) in the
story - the wife of the clerk at City Hall.



*****

Ranma saw a woman entering his and Akane's room as he was coming
down
the hallway.  When he got to the doorway, the woman was taking a
chair
next to his fiancee.

"Hello.  You must be Ranma.  My name is Miki."

"Are you the burn counselor the doctor told me about?"

Miki nodded.  Ranma wheeled his IV stand over to the bedside,
plugged
it in, and got into bed.  Akane just sat there looking confused.

"You knew about her, Ranma?  The doctor didn't mention this to
me."

"This was after they sedated you last night, Akane."

"Oh."  For a second, Akane felt the stirrings of anger because
Ranma
hadn't told her about the fact that a counselor was coming to see
them.  Then she forced herself to be sensible about it.  Maybe she
needed to talk to a professional.

"I don't know where to start."

"That's all right.  Your doctor told me that you were concerned
about
how you look.  Is that right?"

Akane nodded mutely.  Ranma though

thought

Whoops!



she was going to cry.

[...]



Her footsteps had barely died away when both Ranma and Akane spoke
at
the same time.

"We need to talk."


Another fine installment, June. Of course, you advance the plot so
achingly slow... ARGH! :) But I seem to keep coming back for more,
heh.

Kudos on the characterizations.

Well, I guess I'll just have to bite my nails until the next. *sob*


I'll try to make it fast.

June




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