This was originally gong to be a one hour fic, but it stretched into
just over three. It's been too long since I've had time to do this kind
of extended writing in one sitting, so I'm not sure if this is quite as
good as it could be. If you can see a way it can be made better, please
tell.
---
[insert standard use-of-Ranmaverse disclaimers]
This is just a draft copy. I'll post the final version after doing
some revisions to this. For those of you who collect and distribute
fanfics, if you could avoid distributing the draft of this one and wait
for the final version, it would be appreciated. (I've been asked this
before, so: quoting parts of the fic for C&C isn't "distribution" in
this sense.)
******
"I do."
"I do."
And Ukyo's world crumbled around her.
******
"Well, sugar, looks like you finally won."
"Ranma loves me, Ukyo. This isn't some sporting contest."
"I suppose..."
"What's wrong?"
"I...I'm glad for you, Akane, really I am."
"But you still love Ranma."
Akane's bluntness stung Ukyo to the core. Drowning amidst rising tides
of sorrow, the only thing she could think of was to be blunt right back.
"Like nothing else. He's...he means everything to me, and now I have to
give him up..."
"Says who?"
"Says..." Ukyo blinked. "Akane, he's married to you. That means I
can't pursue him any more. If I'm going to maintain any sanity, I'm
going to have to go where I won't be reminded of him..."
"Or you could become his mistress."
"...or I could whahahey?"
"Ukyo...I've given a lot of thought to this. I don't want to lose you
as a friend. As large as that pervert's heart is, I don't doubt that
I'm going to wind up sharing him with *someone* someday. Given that, I
can't think of anyone I'd rather share him with than you."
"Akane..."
"I know, I know. I'd be lying if I said I'd rather not have him all to
myself. But I don't think that's possible, not for more than a little
while. He glomps onto you or Shampoo every chance he gets as it is..."
"Umm, sugar, that's not what it looks like."
"That's what *he* says. Anyway, I think that between the two of us, we
might be able to keep him from acquiring a third bride. What do you
say?"
"Yes."
"That was fast."
"If this is my only chance to be with Ranchan, my only chance to share
his heart...can there be any other answer? *Thank* you, Akane, you
don't know what this means to me."
"I think I have some idea, if the fact that your tears are soaking far
enough through my dress to start moistening my bra strap is any clue."
"Sorry..."
******
"Say WHAT?!?"
"Ukyo will be your mistress."
"Don't I get any say in this?"
"No."
"But she's...I mean..."
"Look, now you have an excuse to glomp her all you want, and I won't get
jealous. Promise. All I ask in exchange is that you confine your
fantasies to us."
"...she's a *friend*."
"Yeah, right. A 'friend' who would cut out her heart and leave it on
your doorstep if she thought it would please you. A 'friend' who loves
you just as much as I do. A 'friend' whom you glomped AT OUR OWN
WEDDING!"
"That was an accident! She tripped, and I kept her from falling over."
"Pervert."
"Uncute...wait, weren't we going to stop doing that?"
"Ranma, it's the night after our wedding. What do most couples do on
this night?"
"Umm...I don't know, what?"
"You honestly don't know?"
"No."
Akane smiled. "Let's just say that 'pervert' will be a *good* thing,
for the next few hours."
******
Akane had never seen Kasumi so disheveled before. Then again, Akane had
rarely seen Kasumi in any state other than "prepared for the world" -
which, considering the traffic that sometimes went through their home
with no notice, was a good thing. "Are you ok?"
"Just fine. Couldn't be happier."
"You burned the toast."
"Did I? Oh, I'm sorry. It's been difficult for me to keep my
concentration this morning."
"Kasumi, if we kept you up..."
"Oh, it's no problem, honest. A newlywed couple's first night together
*should* be like that. Good morning, Nabiki."
Akane turned to look at her other sister, and had to suppress a yelp of
fright.
"Eight hours. *Eight* *hours*. And all my recording equipment just
happens to be in for repairs."
"Eight hours, forty-one minutes, and ten seconds, actually."
"You timed it?"
Kasumi smiled. "Father asked me to. He hoped little trivia like that
would appease Happosai when he returns from his trip and learns what he
missed."
Akane shrank a little. "Did you two get any sleep?"
Two "No"s induced a long and, for Akane, uncomfortable silence.
******
"This isn't the way home."
"No, it isn't, Ranma. Remember? You're sleeping at Ukyo's tonight."
Ranma knew, of course. But he had been procrastinating dealing with
this moment for as long as possible. "I...I've got a headache."
"No, you don't. Honestly, that's the worst excuse you've come up with
yet."
"Akane, Ukyo's my *friend*, not my *mistress*. I still think of her as
a guy sometimes. It'd be...weird."
"You won't think of her as a guy after tonight."
"Wouldn't you rather I sleep with you?"
"Of course. But, sooner or later, you won't. I'd rather get that dealt
with *now* so I don't have to worry about it."
"But...but..."
"Welcome. Ukyo awaits upstairs." Konatsu seemed to, as usual,
materialize out of thin air.
Akane gave Ranma a push towards the stairway. "Go on. Konatsu, make
sure he doesn't try to sneak out. It would upset Ukyo."
"Of course, Akane. This way, Ranma."
"But I don't wanna...Ukyo?"
Akane never asked, and was never told, just exactly how Ukyo had
prepared for her first night with him.
******
"Hi, Konatsu. What's up?"
"Greetings, Akane. I thought you might know that things will take a
little longer than either of us had anticipated."
"You mean they're still at it?"
"Yes."
Akane shrugged. "Let him fulfill his fantasies. Could you do me a
favor and time it?"
"Time it?"
She smiled. "Ask Kasumi."
******
"Ah, Konatsu. They're finally done?"
"No, things are taking...a little longer. I come to ask if I might
spend this night here. Much as I dislike leaving Ukyo's side, I fear I
will be of no use to her without any sleep."
"You've been up since yesterday morning? But it's almost midnight!"
"Yes."
"Fine, come in. You can sleep on the..."
*whump* "Zzz."
"...floor. Ok, as long as you're comfortable."
******
"Hi, Konatsu. So, how long did it take?"
"I beg that I might once again slumber here."
"THEY'RE STILL AT IT?!?!? It's been, what, over 50 hours?"
"51, in a couple minutes."
"He must've been a bigger pervert than I thought."
******
"Oh, no..."
"Do not worry. They have ceased their...labors."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. The Guinness people confirmed my count of 71.4 hours, but
this was not quite the record Ukyo had hoped it would be."
"Sev...seven...KASUMI!!!"
"Yes, sister?"
"You were just talking to Happosai, right?"
"Yes. He seemed most impressed with his students' endurance, though I
doubt either one would consider themselves his 'student'."
"Get him down here. Konatsu's got a lot more detail for him."
******
"You know, Akane, I think you were right."
"About you needing a mistress?"
"No, about my never seeing Ukyo as a guy again. Though I'm not sure
whether Ukyo sees me as a guy or a girl, now. Oh, by the way, I found
out something else about my curse: transforming regenerates certain
types of stamina."
"Really?"
"Yeah. She also taught me a few new tricks."
"You'll have to show me tonight."
******
"Chestnut Fist Revised..."
Nabiki rolled her eyes. It was *just* like Ranma to turn even *this*
into a martial...or was that marital...art. She wondered, briefly, how
he could keep Akane in the mood while shouting out the moves' names,
then chalked it up to the mysteries of high level martial arts that they
knew and she did not. Sighing, she flopped onto her bed, switching on
her room's noise/vibration silencing gear, making a mental note to thank
Kasumi for acquiring it.
******
"Hello, Akane."
"Seventy one point four hours?"
"Umm, well..."
"SEVENTY ONE POINT FOUR HOURS?!?"
"There was a bit of a debate over whether we took breaks in there..."
"Ukyo, I'm afraid I'm going to have to revise our agreement."
"What?"
"I can only approve of you being his mistress..." She held a pause just
long enough to let Ukyo's worry start to turn to panic. "...if you
teach me how to do better than that!"
Ukyo's expression melted from shock to mirth. "Deal."
******
"How long did you go this time?"
"Twenty three hours, sensei."
******
"Forty two hours, Ukyo."
******
"Seventy two point one. HA!"
Ukyo stepped back a bit; Akane had taken the "in your face" metaphor a
bit too literally. "Congratulations. We should let him recover for a
few weeks. When he comes to me, he almost seems...scared. We haven't
done it in two months; he just cuddles and sleeps."
"Err...sorry."
"Which is why I know I'm exactly two months pregnant."
*whump*
"Akane?"
******
"She is coming around, Ukyo."
"Thank you, Konatsu."
"Her sleep was plagued with nightmares, or so I suspect. She kept
mumbling something about 'can't'."
"'Can't become pregnant.'"
"Exact...Akane? You're up!"
"Morning, you two. Sorry about fainting like that. I guess maybe I
should've told you."
Ukyo's mind had already reached its conclusion, but Konatsu's - having
less direct experience with the subject - had not. "Told us what?"
"I'm infertile."
Ukyo shed one tear. "Akane...I'm sorry. I would've braced you have I
known..."
"Don't worry about it. I've known since...well, before the marriage. I
should've told you that was the other reason I wanted Ranma to have a
mistress."
"You mean, you wanted me to have his child?"
"Yeah. Kinda selfish, maybe...it's my fault. Before I met Ranma, I
tried many ways to become stronger. Some standard and recommended,
some...not. The steroids, for example."
"Where did you get steroids?"
"Nabiki. Only she, Doctor Tofu, and now you two, know about this, so
please keep it a secret. And *don't* blame her; I nearly broke her arm
convincing her to help me obtain them. Even then she was reluctant. I
knew the dangers of steroid abuse, but back then, I didn't care. Doctor
Tofu said the damage could have been much worse; it was a good thing I
came in for my regular checkup when I did, but the only treatment he
knew was cold turkey. Nabiki told Kasumi I just had a cold when I was
going through withdrawal, but you could tell she wanted to confess
everything. I have only myself to blame for this. I hope you don't
hate me for using you to get what I could never do myself."
"Oh, Akane..." Ukyo hugged her. "I don't care. And I think it was
wonderful of you to solve it this way. Now, not only can you raise a
child, but Ranma's child will have three parents."
******
"Oh, my. Akane, you should only do that in bed. Your husband could
break something if he collapses in the living room."
"I just told him Ukyo's pregnant."
"I know. But you and Ukyo have been leaving him tired and unable to
deal with major events as well as he usually can."
"I see. Thanks for the advice."
******
"Push, Ukyo, PUSH!"
"I am pushing. ERRGH! Lousy good-for-nothing painkillers, why'd they
have to not work on ME?"
"The doctor told you. You've trained your senses so well, your body
kicks out any attempt to dull them."
"Is that what he GAAAH! said? Had a hard time translating his jargon.
ERRGH! Where's Ranma, anyway?"
Akane glanced through the window, to the floor outside the delivery
ward and the semi-conscious body sprawled there. "He'd be here if he
could, honest. Now PUSH!"
"WAAAAH!"
"Congratulations. It's a boy."
******
"Come on, you two. It's time for our son's fifth birthday!"
Ranma slowly stretched, and reflected on how life had changed. Nabiki
and Kasumi had moved out, but Ukyo and Konatsu took their places.
Nodoka had been pleased enough at how Ranma turned out that she asked
Genma and Soun to move in with her to leave him his own house - and the
dojo, too.
When Ukyo's pregnancy forced her to take leave of her business, she
offered to let Shampoo take over - on the condition that neither Mousse
nor Cologne come with her. The other Amazons had been outraged at such
a blatant attempt to remove one of their finest warriors from their
influence, but Ukyo convinced Shampoo to file for political asylum and
start a new life in Japan, mainly by pointing out that to return in
failure meant near-certain death. Cologne and Mousse were summarily
deported on suspicion of conspiracy to murder a new Japanese citizen.
Shampoo still came over from time to time, but only as a friend now.
There was no doubt that she truly had loved Ranma at one point, but only
honor kept her from even thinking letting her heart hold any other
emotion - honor in a system that she no longer cared about.
Most of his other friends from years ago had moved away. Ryoga and
Akari had presumably married, or not...the laws and formalities in the
rural area they farmed were quite a bit looser than Tokyo standards.
The Kunos' money had not, in the end, lasted forever; when the money ran
out, Tatewaki took what little was left to fend for himself and put
himself far away - physically and emotionally - from his past, Kodachi
was rumored to have run off to some American artists' colony, and the
head of the clan committed suicide for failing his ancestors. Even
Hiroshi, Daisuke, Sayuka, and Yuri had not been heard from since their
double marriage - and for the life of him, Ranma could not remember
which one had married which.
Akane and Ukyo enjoyed sharing the responsibility of raising his son.
He sometimes wished he could spend more time - he would have preferred
to work at home, teaching at the dojo, but that was not where the money
was. This movie studio wanted him as a consultant or an actor for their
martial arts flick, that military/police academy wanted him to teach
classes on their campus, and so forth. He still taught in his dojo at
least once a month, partly for honor and partly so Ukyo could write it
off as an operating business on their taxes, though sometimes the class
consisted of just himself, Ukyo, and Akane.
Still, at least there were none of the domestic squabbles he had feared
from one child having two mothers...
******
"What do you MEAN, two only?"
"This is for the parents of the child. Our apologize, Mrs. Saotome, but
he is not your son..."
******
"Nuh-uh. Ukyo's my mommy. You're just some lady."
******
"Daddy? Why didn't you marry mommy like everyone else's parents did?"
Ranma saw Akane wince, and hoped that his son had not deliberately said
it loud enough for her to hear.
******
"Parents only."
******
"Hey, lady. Is it true what Konatsu said about you not being able to
have a child, and that's why you're not my mommy?"
Akane distinctly remembered telling Konatsu not to tell anyone about
that. "My name is Akane, dear."
"Nuh-uh. Strangers got names, mommy and daddy got names, friends got
names, but you're none of those. You're just 'lady'."
"So what do you call Konatsu?"
"Konatsu. He's a friend, so he's got a name. But Ukyo says you're the
lady of the house. So you're 'lady'."
******
"Kasumi, PLEASE! You've got to help me!"
Kasumi scowled. "There are laws against this kind of thing."
"Against surgical repair? I've read your record. I know you've done
this operation before."
"The operation itself is legitimate. I'm talking about how you want to
finance it, *and* that I'm the one you want to do it."
"It's too expensive for us..."
"This technology's new, Akane. I can't do anything about that. The
only way I could use it on a nonpaying patient without getting thrown
off the staff would be to keep it off the books completely. That's
illegal."
"You *invented* the procedure. No way would they throw you out even if
they found out."
"Maybe. But you're still asking me to risk my career. Anyway, that's
beside the point of me operating on my own sister. It's impossible to
maintain clinical detachment in that kind of situation, and without
that, the odds of survival - to say nothing of having the procedure done
correctly - are drastically reduced. You're asking me to put *your*
life on the line. There have been fatalities, you know."
"One or two, out of thousands of trials. And those were with
inexperienced doctors on patients who were in such bad shape that they
might not lived through the night even if this hadn't been used as part
of their reconstruction."
"...I see. You really do know the risks."
"I know. And I know it's killing me to live with this...with things as
they are. I. Want. Ranma's. Child."
"Very well." Kasumi symbolically snapped her handheld scheduling
computer shut. "Meet me at the front door at 11 PM next Wednesday. The
surveillance will be down for maintenance at that time, and no one will
be using the machines. If anyone asks, tell them that I'm giving you a
tour of the hospital. I did invent the procedure, so everyone will
believe that I'm just showing it off if they don't see me actually using
it on you."
******
"Out like a light so quickly, Ranma?"
"..."
"Oh, don't worry. That was the best we've ever done." Akane smiled.
"But maybe we can do even better tomorrow. Good night."
******
"Ranma...you're so cold..."
"Akane! Breakfast is ready!"
"I'll be up as soon as I can get Ranma up!"
Ukyo stuck her head through the doorway. "Is something wrong?"
"Maybe. Ranma's awfully cold and stiff this morning."
A thought struck Ukyo, but she smiled it off. "Eh, you finally killed
him."
"You think so?!?!?"
Ukyo blinked. "Of course not. I mean...you *did* check his pulse,
right, so you know he's not...you didn't..."
Akane applied two fingers to his neck.
"Is he..."
Akane nodded. "I...I didn't even think about it...he just collapsed, I
thought he was just exhausted...you're right, Ukyo. *I* killed him."
******
"Let the record show that Ranma Saotome died of natural causes,
specifically heart failure. The motion by Akane Saotome to convict
Akane Saotome of murder is hereby dismissed."
******
"You're pregnant."
"Mm-hmm!"
"You're pregnant."
"That's right."
"You're pregnant."
"Can't you say anything else?"
"The one whom everyone thought was infertile is pregnant."
"Yes, Ukyo."
"How?"
"Same way you did. Ranma put his-"
"You know what I mean."
"Oh. Umm...do you believe in miracles?"
"No."
"Then start." Akane stuck her tongue out at Ukyo.
"This isn't a miracle, Akane. You *did* something. I can read it in
your chi."
"Trust me, Ukyo. *I* did nothing. Maybe something happened to me,
maybe someone did something, but *I* did nothing."
Ukyo shrugged. "Fine, be mysterious." She smiled. "We should be
celebrating instead of arguing, anyway."
"That's right!"
"One last piece of Ranma survives."
Suddenly, Akane no longer felt like celebrating.
******
"You've got some balls, Akane. Coming around here after what do *did*
to my wife!"
Akane dared not look her childhood crush in the eyes.
"Do you have *any* idea how long she agonized about it, both before and
after the deed itself? Time was, she'd do anything for you. But you
have crossed the line."
"Dr. Tofu, please. I'm just here for my checkup results."
"And they asked me to deliver 'em because they knew I'd tell you what
they wanted to say - but only I have an excuse. You've bungled it
again, Akane. First it was steroids, this time...the child's chance of
survival is 30 percent. Odds are, if you carry this to birth, the child
will be stillborn. And your chance of survival ain't that rosy either.
You'll have to abort."
"No."
"Excuse me. The child probably won't make it. *You* might not make it.
We can either save your life or let you die. Carrying this through
won't give you Ranma's last child, Akane. It'll give us a corpse -
maybe two, if you're not lucky."
"I said no." Akane finally locked eyes with the doctor. "As long as
there is *any* chance, I'm willing to risk my life for it."
He sighed. "Fine. I can't *legally* force your decision...and I'm not
about to stoop to your level. But I am recording that you made this
choice against the advice of your doctor."
"Very well."
******
"No."
"Ukyo, you're the only one she'll listen to."
"She's made her choice, sugar. I can't interfere in it."
"But Ukyo...look at the ultrasounds! Look at the..."
"I said no, and I gave my reasons. What part of 'no' don't you
understand?"
"Why you're being so stubborn about it."
"It's not me, it's her. You know how bull-headed she can get sometimes.
She's made up her mind about this; even I can't do anything."
"I see. Even for your own nephew..."
"Don't get me started, doc. And it'll be a niece, I can tell."
Tofu peered closer at the images. "How can you be sure?"
"Look here, and here, and you can start to see the line here."
"...you're right. I never would have thought to check there."
"Let's just say I've had experience with gender-ambiguous people before.
Lots and lots of experience."
******
"Push, Akane, PUSH!"
"I am pushing. ERRGH! Lousy good-for-nothing painkillers, why'd they
have to not work on ME?"
"The doctor told you. You've trained your senses so well, your body
kicks out any attempt to dull them. Payback's a bitch, huh?"
"Is that what he GAAAH! said? Had a hard time translating his jargon.
ERRGH! Where's Ranma, anyway?"
Ukyo faltered for a moment, but maintained her grip on Akane's hand.
"He'd be here if he could, honest. Now PUSH!"
"WAAAAH!"
"Congratulations. It's a girl."
"...Akane?"
******
"Legally, this child is not yours."
"Bull. Shit. After Ranma died, I signed a domestic partners agreement
with Akane."
"You're a lesbian?"
"Nuh-uh. I just thought this might happen. All the legal rights of
married couples. That means all of Akane's property is now mine, and I
assumed guardianship of her children upon her death. Since Akane was
married to Ranma at the time of his death, his stuff went through her to
me, too. So *get* off *my* land, you good-for-nothing ambulance chasing
lawyer!"
"I could sue you for defamation of character, you know."
"You're trespassing on my land. Now that you've been notified, until
you get off, I have the legal right to kill you, you know."
"...I'll be leaving now. Good day."
******
"Come on, you two, we're going to visit your mommy's and daddy's
marker."
"She ain't my mommy. Never was."
"And she ain't my mommy *or* my daddy. You're the only parent I've ever
had, mamma Ukyo, and I love you as much as he loved you *and* his
daddy."
"Do not."
"Do too."
Ukyo rested her head in her hands. Perhaps she would not take them to
see the grave after all. Perhaps she would go alone this time; only
those that respected the dead would be there. Which was now an
audience of only her and Shampoo.