"KaraOhki" <karaohki@snet.net> wrote:
Professor Negita looked up from his notes and surveyed his students.
The results? 62.4% thought the class was boring, and 58.7% wanted to
know whether this would be on the test.
The professor looked at Shampoo with new respect. "That is your home?
I received much of my training there many years ago. It was extremely
hard to get permission to stay in the village, but I had heard a great
deal about the medicinal herbs of the area and I was determined to
learn."
He should've gone to Yaocaicun. It's close by, and their herbal stuff is
WAY cooler.
"Perhaps. My wife would have been upset if I hadn't returned home. I
am still very grateful to the woman who taught me. Perhaps you know
of her, although I doubt if she is still living. Her name was
Cologne."
"Cologne is my great-grandmother, and she still lives. She is waiting
for me at home."
Odd that we don't get any internal reaction from Shaps here. What does
she think about all this?
"Run, Akane! RUN!!"
Akane's response was to plant her feet, summon up all of her
confidence, and hold up both hands, palms out.
I'm wondering why she doesn't just beat the crap out of them. Practicing
new attacks is fine but this might not be the most opportune time.
The rapists seemed rather... generic. It might help to show us some of
what motivates them and how they see things.
It wasn't long after she began to cry that the absurdity of the
situation struck her. Why was she crying now, especially when she was
in the safest place in her universe--Ranma's arms? Akane relaxed her
grip and her crying slowed down.
By that time Ranma had regained control, and his hold on Akane went
>from a death grip to a gentle embrace. He picked Akane up and settled
her in his lap, wrapping his arms around her. Akane leaned against
him and closed her eyes. They remained that way for a long time
before Ranma stood up, Akane in his arms, and carried her off to bed.
Very nicely done scene. Good amount of detail in the characters'
perspectives.
Shiro woke early to the sound of singing. Shampoo slept on while he
quietly got out of bed and went to the window. There was a group of
women walking by the house. They were singing a song he couldn't
quite understand, but that didn't matter to him. What entranced him
was the beauty of their voices. He watched them until they were out
of sight, and their voices faded. Then the song began again, but from
inside the bedroom.
It might help to describe the song more, perhaps by comparing it to some
other sound. Just "beautiful" is rather vague. :)
Shiro looked in the mirror, and combed his hair again. When Shampoo's
family had come to the house to meet him the previous night he had
been nervous, but their warm welcome had made him feel very much at
home. This was different. He was on his way to meet the Elders, and
Shampoo's description of them made him extremely uncomfortable. In
his mind, he saw several duplicates of Cologne, only these women were
unfriendly, unreasonable, and dangerous.
Not gonna say it... it'd be a cheap shot.
The Elders were waiting for him. They were seated behind a long
table, which held a teapot and several cups. There were other women
present, including Cologn, who were seated around the edges of the
Cologne
The oldest-looking woman gave a brief nod. "That remains to be seen.
I am Lili, this is Hyacinth, and this is Mai."
"Hyacinth?" Doesn't sound Chinese to me. :)
Shiro smiled. "I have a sister named Mai."
(Insert "My sister" / "Mai sister" quip of your choice here.)
Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html