This my first post to the mailing list. It's actually a side
story for a story I am currently in the process of writing.
It follows one of the main NPCs that my players tend to
interact with a lot in the course of their game. The main
story is a long way off from being finished and will include
a lot of the background that is missing from this story.
All forms of C&C welcome.
I am not subscribed to the FFML so please reply by private
e-mail to:
dkarshner@hotmail.com
I don't think I'm stepping on anyone's toes with this but if
I am then sorry. Anything that belongs to somebody else belongs
to them and I'm not trying to claim credit for it. I'm broke so
no lawsuits please. Thank you.
**********************************************************************
Final Night
Star General Arlynn S. Perry, Commander in Chief of the RAF,
walked around her quarters aboard the `Starleaf'. As she slowly made
her way around the room she ran a single finger over each item there
using only her limited human memory to recall every image that each
summoned. Here sat a chipped vase that she had found on an
archaeological dig to Fontana IV. Their, above her bed, hung the
dream catcher that she had made on Twilight. And here on the night
stand sat an old leather-bound book that she had picked up on a
shopping trip to Jaxom III with Kelly, Danica, Cathy, and Nim.
Poor, poor departed Nim. Why, she asked herself again, did
Nim betray her in the way she did. She could have forgiven anything
but that. She loved her as much as she loved Danica. Why couldn't
she have understood the love that Arlynn felt for those whom she
considered sisters. Did Nim understand the pain and anguish Arlynn
felt when she was forced to strike her down with her katana? Arlynn
didn't know and now, two years later, she wasn't about to summon Nim's
spirit to find out.
"Things had been so good when we started," she said quietly as
she began to turn back the clock in her mind to a time over a thousand
terran years earlier when they had all been young and idealistic.
Correction, all but Cathy had been young and idealistic. And that was
the crux of her problems tonight. She was going into battle tomorrow
to face her older sister, her sister by blood, and she knew she wasn't
going to survive it. Even if she did survive this battle it wouldn't
matter. Her time was running out.
A thousand years earlier Cathy had come to her quarters on a
cold, July night at Antarctica base and told her she was an android
created the the Vortax race, the precursors of terrans. She had been
so furious with Cathy that she had thrown her out of her quarters,
ignoring Cathy's pleas that she let her finish saying what she had
come to say.
"Mother, God, how stupid I was back then," she said to herself
as she sat down on her bed.
She remembered a month later when she had gone to Cathy's
quarters on another cold, Antarctican night and begged to be let in.
How, humiliating herself in the hallway, she had apologized for her
thoughtlessness through a doorway to Cathy. How Cathy had finally
opened the door and let her in telling her very tersely to get in and
stop making a fool of herself. How she had begged, with tears
streaming down her face, for Cathy to accept her apology. An apology
so profusely given that she had started to go hoarse.
And she remembered that magical moment, the one that had made
her entire pathetic, worthless, meaningless life seem worth it after
all when Cathy's face had softened and she accepted her apology with a
kiss that told her, in a way no words could, that she had been
forgiven everything wrong she had done. How her heart had soared to
the heavens and beyond when Cathy had said, "I Love You." How she had
given Cathy a far more passionate kiss filled with every bit of her
twenty-nine years of walled up frustration at being an unattractive,
fat girl who no guy would ever give a second, let alone a first,
glance. How that kiss had deepened into something that seemed to go
on forever to the end of time and beyond. How, she now understood,
they had bonded their souls to one another for all eternity with that
one moment of intense ardor.
And how, when she felt that bond snapping into place, Arlynn
had jerked away. How she had looked at Cathy's grief-stricken face,
the golden tears streaming down it, as Arlynn had told her that she
couldn't love a woman like that. How she had been raised, both
morally and religiously, to believe that it was wrong. How she was
sorry. And how she had run out of their before her resolve crumbled
and her own anguish began to show.
"How could I be so stupid," she asked. Only the silence of
her room answered her though.
Arlynn thought back to all the centuries that she and Cathy
had served together in the RAF and how there had never once been a
repeat of that night. She remembered every moment of pain that she
had caused her soulmate because of her resistance. The flash of pain,
anger, loss, and betrayal when Arlynn had finally stepped out of the
genetic reconstruction tube and Cathy had seen what Arlynn had become.
How Cathy knew at that moment that Arlynn had found a way to finally
make herself attractive to some man who would just use her and toss
her away, never finding the person who was beneath. Cathy's scream of
anguish that echoed up their link to Arlynn when she was told that
Arlynn had died at Telexes. All the other little hurts she had
unwittingly and purposefully inflicted, both imagined and actual, on
Cathy.
Arlynn remembered the incident earlier today when she had
asked Cathy to she her privately in her office on the `Starbreeze'.
How, when Cathy asked her why she needed to see her, she had let her
sculpt slip. How Cathy has stared dumbfounded at the woman who looked
to be a hundred stood where the same woman who looked only thirty
stood moments before. How she had calmly told Cathy about the disease
she caught that was making her age again. How she couldn't find a
cure. And how, when the time came to face her sister, she was going
to go down with her ship.
How she stood there impassively watching as Cathy groveled
before her, saying there had to be a way to save her life. How Cathy
had named off several possibilities that could be tried. How, when
Arlynn had shot them all down and Cathy had offered the final
suggestion of transferring herself into an android body like her own,
she had lashed out at her. She remembered everything she said word
for word, each hauntingly vicious syllable spoken.
"You think I want to end up some machine like you! I'm a
human being, and not some mechanical toy built for my mother's
pleasure! You dare to have the audacity to suggest that I become
some freak of nature like you! Ha! Don't make me laugh."
She also remembered the blank expression and Cathy's face as
she mechanically stood up. The change to cold fury on her face as she
pulled back her hand and slapped Arlynn with her full force, sending
her flying across the office and into the wall. The tears that poured
down her face as she turned and ran out of her office. Arlynn
uncomfortably felt her throat as she thought back to how long it had
taken her nanites to repair the broken neck and jaw that had resulted
from that slap.
She sat there for a long time like that, crying quietly,
thinking about how she had hurt the one person she loved more than
anything, even her own children, with her ill chosen words said more
out of the insanity that was creeping up on her due to the disease
than out of her own feelings. The insanity was why she had refused
transferring herself into a new body. And it was with a need to
explain this one final thing to her only love that she left to see
Cathy.
**********************************************************************
"How could she," Cathy asked herself over and over as she
huddled up on the bed in her quarters with her arms around her knees
crying and rocking slowly back and forth. Cathy loved her, loved her,
and she had rebuked her love completely. Cathy had spent fifty
thousand years looking for someone like Arlynn and another thousand
waiting for her and yet she had been rebuked in the end. Her grief
tore at her in a way that nothing else had and it solidified into a
single conclusion as she sat there for only Mother knows how many
hours.
Cathy didn't notice as the doors to her room opened admitting
Arlynn; she was too busy pulling her service issue Whitestar Mk.4
heavy plasma pistol out to notice. She was so oblivious she didn't
even notice Arlynn yell her name and begin to run towards her as she
began to put the pistol to her head. She only took notice when she
realized she was alive after the trigger was squeezed.
As Cathy looked at the object that stopped the gun she
realized that it was Arlynn's blacked hand. She dropped the gun in
horror as the hand flexed and bits of charred skin flaked off. She
looked up at Arlynn's face, scarred to see what she'd find but unable
to not look. At seeing the worried, love-filled look on Arlynn's face
she let out the most horrifying, soul-wrenching, heart-breaking wail
Arlynn had ever heard and through herself into Arlynn's arms. Arlynn
simply held her, stroking her hair and whispering soothing words in
her ear.
"I'm sorry Cathy. I'm so, so sorry. I love you and I'm sorry
I hurt you."
Cathy looked up at her with a wary, but hope-filled, look.
"You love me?" At Arlynn's nod she began to cry again, this time
joyfully, letting out fifty-one thousand years of frustration and
loneliness. After an hour like that Arlynn lifted Cathy's chin with
her thumb and forefinger and gently kissed her.
"I'm sorry. I will never, ever do that to you again. Not in
this life or any other life that we live. I love you with all my
heart, with all my mind, with all my body, with all my soul, and with
every fiber of my being. I'll do anything you ask that is within my
power to grant if you will just forgive me my complete stupidity at
ignoring the most precious thing that has ever existed in my life.
You."
"Live then Arlynn. Give me a reason to carry on."
"I cannot," Arlynn replied in a quiet, apologetic voice.
"Why?" Her anguished plea tore at Arlynn's soul.
"Because I'm slowly losing my sanity. It's the disease. It's
breaking me down slowly but surely and I'm scared to death of it.
I've tried everything I could to stop it but I can't. If I live I'll
be completely insane in ten years. Do you want me to live now only to
lose me in a more horrible way later."
Cathy just slowing shook her head, finally understanding why
Arlynn couldn't transfer herself to a new body. The disease, and by
extension, the insanity would just transfer with her.
"Then will you give me something else?"
"Whatever it is, I'll do it if I can."
Cathy looked at her pleadingly. "Will you stay with me
tonight," she asked as she looked down and closed her eyes, waiting
for the inevitable refusal.
"Remember what I said all those centuries ago." Cathy nodded,
beginning to cry again with renewed vigor. "Well this should have
been my answer instead."
With that Arlynn picked Cathy up, cradling her in her arms,
and laid her on her bed, slowly picking up where they had left off on
that cold, Antarctican night back in August of 2014.
**********************************************************************
Arlynn slowly traced the curve of the woman next to her,
sleeping peacefully in what was probably the first time in more years
than Arlynn wanted to contemplate, as she propped herself up on one
arm. Their lovemaking had been wonderful and Arlynn wished she had
returned Cathy's love in this way back when she was physically young
enough to have enjoyed it without the accompanying pain. She smiled
softly as Cathy awoke and turned to look at her with her beautiful,
amber eyes.
"Thank you Dearheart," Cathy said as she pulled Arlynn down to
kiss her. "I'm so glad that we at least had just one night together.
I just don't know if I can carry on now that I've found you only to
lose you tomorrow." Cathy buried her head in Arlynn's breast and
began to weep again.
"Please look at me love," Arlynn asked. Cathy did, trying
unsuccessfully to wipe the tears from her eyes.
"I know I'm going to die tomorrow and I know it pains you but
I need to ask you something."
"Anything."
"I need you to live and be a mother to my children. The
mother I tried to be but never succeeded at being."
"I can't." The cry tore from Cathy's lips before she could
stop them. "Deanna and especially Auden need their real mother and
not some substitute. How am I, someone who's not even human, supposed
to be a mother to them."
"Cathy, Cathy, Cathy, Cathy. Your more human than I have ever
been. You're definitely more human than most of the Antarctican race.
Do you think I want someone like Rush or Kelly to be the primary
influence in their lives when I'm gone. No, I want the most
compassionate and caring and human person I know to take over for me.
And that, my dear angel, is you."
Cathy looked into Arlynn's grey eyes and, seeing that she
meant every word, tightened her embrace and pressed Arlynn tightly to
her saying thank you in between sobs. Arlynn just embraced her back
for a few more minutes before she pulled back slightly so she again
look into Cathy's eyes.
"I'm leaving you tomorrow and I'm sorry but I have one more
thing that needs to be done before I do that." Arlynn sat up and then
shifted her position so she was kneeling and indicated for Cathy to do
the same. After she had mirrored Arlynn with a confused look she
lifted two white-gold rings and a crystal dagger to herself
telekinetically.
"No Arlynn. I can't let you...," Cathy began to protest but
Arlynn cut her off.
"I can and I will. My dearest angel, marry me," she asked as
she held out the dagger and laid the rings below it.
"Are you sure? I thought the church didn't....."
"The church be damned. Marry me in this life and the next and
on till the end of all. Please Cathy. I wish to spend all of
eternity and beyond with you and only you, my soulmate. Do you wish
to spend it with me as well?"
"Yes Dearheart I do." Cathy them reached out and clasped her
left hand with Arlynn's over the blade of the dagger till it drew
blood. As they did two intermingled drops fell too the rings below,
one absorbing into each ring. The rest of the blood absorbed into the
dagger, staining it the color of their blood. As they each looked into
the other's eyes and into their souls they spoke their oath together.
"Blood to Blood, Soul to Soul, I join myself to you from here
after. We are now one being made up of what was two. My life is in
your hands, my blood is in your veins. Hold me well and I will lend
you my strength; break your bond and may we both perish. My eternal
soul I swear to you, an Oath of clasped hands and shared hearts."
Each felt the spell take effect. The power of it would be
felt throughout the ship and beyond but neither cared so caught up
were they in each other at that one moment. As they unclasped their
hands the wounds healed instantly, so strong was the magic they had
weaved.
Arlynn sat the dagger on the night stand. Then, taking up
both rings, she slipped one on Cathy's finger and handed the other to
Cathy for her to do the same. Once both rings were on they kissed
again and drifted off to sleep, holding each other in an embrace that
neither wanted to end but knew must with the coming dawn.
**********************************************************************
Grand Admiral Cathy Nova Desmond, Branch Commander of the
United Nations Mage Corps of the RAF watched at attention with tears
in her eyes as the Alus-class starship `Archangel' plunged into the
burning inferno of Sol. It was the final funeral of the Antarctican
Civil War and her wife had just been committed to the fiery depths of
Sol as was befitting for a child born of Terra.
Cathy looked over at Arlynn's son and daughter's and promised
her love that she would watch over and guide them as if they were her
own until Arlynn came back. In a way they were her own. She was
their stepmother now under RAF and Centaurian law. The ring was a
type of proof that no mage, psychic, or mystic in all the Stellar
Confederation could refute.
As she let magic ensorceled into her wedding band wash over
her, she smiled at the memory it conjured of the night her and Arlynn
had shared on the `Starlance' a fortnight ago. With that memory to
help her deal with the pain of loss, Cathy knew that she would wait
until the end of all for just one last moment with Arlynn. She knew
their love was strong enough to pass the test of time and that, in her
heart of hearts, neither of them would allow that one night to be
their final night.
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