Sorry it's taken so long to get this one out, but I've had
a bit of writer's block. This time, I'll also at least thank
anyone that gives C&C.
Disclaimer: Prozac is overrated, and I didn't invent the
Nerima crowd. Thanks for your support.
Hazards of Redemption
Chapter Two: Oni in my Dreams
Happosai, Grand Master of the School of Anything Goes
Martial Arts had been called many things in his long life.
Most of them had something to do with his perversions, and
not a few had to do with his less than handsome appearance.
But never had he heard anyone that seemed to be in his right
mind call him cute.
Of course, this still didn't happen. "Fascinating,"
said Kenchiro, the reformed Oni. "I though the Bakemono had
left Japan three hundred years ago."
Jumping off Ranma-chan's heavenly bosom, and bouncing
around as he dodged the punches, kicks, tables, chairs, and
students the redhead directed at him. Such a playful thing,
really. "Hmm? Look, whoever you are, I'll have you know I am
most certainly _not_ a goblin." He would have continued, but
an unfortunate Senior had just impacted with his head.
Kenchiro turned to Ranma. "Do you mind? I am attempting
to have a conversation with this Bakemono."
As Happosai twitched, Akane smirked. "He's not a goblin,
Kenchiro. He's the pervert who invented Ranma's and my style
of martial arts. He's totally human, no matter what he looks
like."
Shrugging the student off of him, Happosai faced
Kenchiro, eyes narrowed. "Do I know you? You look oddly
familiar."
The oni nodded. "I am the On..."
"He's the only cousin I have," interrupted Ranma. "An he
ain't a martial artist, so don't go doin nothin' to 'im!"
"Ranma-kun, this is your sensei. Should you not let him
know the tru..."
"The truth about your job, hehe?" blurted Ranma. "I
don't think so, the government could get angry, ne?"
"You're hiding something," growled the old pervert, "and
I intend to find out what it is!" Stopping only to cop a feel
on one of the younger Freshmen, he bounded out of the
lunchroom, and into the noonday sun.
"Just can't stay away from water, hmm, Saotome?" asked
Nabiki as she walked up. "Just this once, I'll let you get by
on credit," she said, producing a kettle.
"Why bother?" asked Kenchiro. Placing one hand on Ranma-
chan's drenched shoulder, he closed his eyes. Seconds later,
steam rose from the Chinese shirt, which now was wrapped
around a male body.
Nabiki studied the Oni. 'the big question for me,' she
thought, 'is are you good or bad for business?'
****************************************
Happosai sat on the roof of the local mall, reclining on
a bed of silky darlings recently liberated from the lingerie
store in the mall. No, not the ones on the rack, the ones
left on the bench in the changing room. He had to figure out
what this 'cousin' of Ranma's, whatever his name is, really
meant to do.
He had known both Genma's and Nodoka's families for
seventy years, though he only knew Nodoka's by reputation.
The fact that both of Ranma's parents were only children
meant that this interloper could not be a first cousin. He
might be a distant cousin, but, somehow, the old pervert
doubted that. That, plus Ranma's pathetic attempts at lying
to him, piqued his curiosity.
He was not Ranma's cousin, that was pretty certain. And
what was the 'truth' they were trying to hide?
"Let's see," he muttered. "One, this fellow is rather
handsome, and was sitting next to Ranma in the lunchroom.
"Two, he didn't bat an eye when Ranma changed. If
anything, he looked interested.
"Three, he called me a Bakemono, a goblin. He'll pay for
that one.
"Four, Ranma was defending him, of sorts.
"Five, Akane didn't seem angry when this 'cousin' called
him 'Ranma-kun' in front of her. Okay, so maybe that doesn't
mean anything."
Sitting up, and tapping one finger against his chin, he
stewed over the evidence before him. Soon enough, his twisted
little mind put two and two together to get 54.
"He's after my Ranma-chan! Waaagh! Don't worry, Ranam-
chan!" He stood, raising one fist in the air as he placed the
other firmly against his hip. "I will protect your virtue!
For myself, of course!" Swiftly wrapping up the sweet
nothings in his sack, he adjusted the mask below his nose,
and bounced off towards the Tendou Dojo.
****************************************
The walk home that afternoon started out relatively
uneventful. Kuno still hadn't returned from his trip to the
Shinjuku district from earlier that morning, and the China
crew was stuck at the Nekohanten for a busy lunch crowd.
Kenchiro stayed in the area for the afternoon, so he could
accompany his sensei's sibling and her fiance back to the
dojo.
About halfway there, however, a familiar battle cry rang
out across the Nerima skyline. "RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!"
Jumping back out of the way of a torrent of razor-sharp
bandannas, Ranma replied with, "Heya, pig-boy! Ain't seen ya
in a while, how's it goin'?"
"Shut up and fight, Ranma! For what you are doing, you
deserve retrib... retrobi... er, justice!" called out Ryouga.
Kenchiro reached out, and gently pulled Akane out of the
street, and out of possible danger. "Another unique
individual of the area?" he asked.
"Yes. He's Hibiki Ryouga. He has a problem with his
sense of direction, and seems to have a grudge against
Ranma," she said, "but is a sweet guy, otherwise."
Meanwhile, the two martial artists had closed to hand to
hand combat. Most of the roundhouse swings of the more
powerful young man swept right by Ranma, but his own quick
jabs had very little effect on the stone-hard skin of his
rival. "Whaddya know, ya actually made it back to Nerima in
less than a week, pork-brain!"
"Stop calling me that!" growled Ryouga, as his punches
began to blister the very air with their force. One dropping
axe kick hit the pavement instead of Ranma, sending large
chunks of concrete in all directions, including that of
Kenchiro and Akane.
Realizing that his sensei would not be pleased if her
youngest sister were hurt by this, Kenchiro simply grabbed
her, picked her up, and turned his back, taking a rather
large piece of concrete to his back. Despite his own
supernatural strength, he was knocked to the ground, Akane
beneath him. "Get off of me," she said, struggling to
extricate herself from out from under him.
Ranma caught all this in a glance, and understood what
Kenchiro was trying to do. Ryouga, unfortunately, only caught
the tail end, and did what any good resident of Nerima would
do, and immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion. Jumping
back from Ranma, he yelled, "Hey, you! Leave Akane alone!"
Snatching a handful of bandannas off his head, he tossed them
at the Oni as he slowly stood.
"Oh, crap," cussed Ranma. Reacting with all the speed he
could, he sprinted in front of his erstwhile cousin. Darting
his hands in the air, he intercepted all of the bandannas but
one, which cut a long gash across his ribs.
"You're helping this rapist?" asked Ryouga. "That's even
lower than I thought you'd go. Prepare to die!"
Akane had recovered herself by this time, and tried to
intercede. "No, wait, Ryouga, it's not what it looks like!"
Needless to say, it was little more than wasted breath.
"Boy, P-chan, you're even more clueless than I thought,"
grunted Ranma as he crossed his arms to block a particularly
powerful straightarm punch.
"Shut up, Shut Up, SHUT UP!" roared the Lost Boy,
redoubling his assault on his rival. Out of the corner of his
eye, he saw the steady flow of blood from Ranma's side, and
narrowed his mouth to a tight-lipped grin. "Bakusai
Tenketsu!" His finger thrust out just past Ranma, to the wall
behind him.
"ARRRGH" groaned Ranma, as the shrapnel and the force of
the explosion knocked him forward into Ryouga. Bouncing off
his chest, the pigtailed martial artist rolled backwards
through the wall, and brought himself up to one knee.
"Dammit, Ryouga, you've really lost it this time!" With a
kiai, he sent the burst of chi that was his Moko Takabisha at
the other young man, which caught him square in the chest,
and knocked him across the street.
Kenchiro, by this time, had almost literally dragged
Akane further down the street towards the dojo, the better to
be out of the way. "Why did he do that?" he asked.
"Do what?" asked Akane.
"Place himself between the cloth projectiles and my own
form?"
Akane tried to hide a half smile. "He's like that. He
doesn't like anyone but himself getting hurt when he's in a
fight."
Meanwhile, Ryouga had managed to extricate himself from
the wall he had impacted with. Head still spinning, but ready
for anything, he roared, "Now you Die!" before running the
wrong way down the street.
Ranma staggered out of the yard beyond the destroyed
wall, holding on to his injured side. "Hmph. Couldn't even
finish our fight," he complained.
Kenchiro eyed him critically. "Nether could you," he
remarked, "if a few more blows had landed. Is there an
apothecary nearby?"
"Well, Doctor Tofu's place is about three blocks that
way," pointed Akane. "He just got back after several months
studying abroad."
"Aww," said the pigtailed boy, "I ain't that hurt."
Leaning over, Akane poked him in the side, and Ranma
doubled over in pain. Standing suddenly, she said, "Whoa,
Deja Vu! Anyway, I think you are, and you at least need a
couple of stitches. Now, come on."
****************************************
As they arrived, Kenchiro started shuffling his feet.
"Erm, do I have to enter the premesis?" he asked.
Akane, helping Ranma stand, asked "Why?"
"Something feels... uncomfortable. As though there is
very little negative chi that has not been focused and
channeled away." The Oni scratched the back of his neck.
"Needless to say, it is not the most conducive environment
for me."
"well," said Ranma, "If ya don't wanna go in, you can
wait out here."
"I shall do that," he said.
Doctor Tofu met them at the door, face grim. "Akane,
Ranma, hello. First, looks like you need a lot of help;
however, I also want to know why an Oni is walking with you."
Kenchiro actually blushed. "With all due respect, Tofu-
sensei, I am being taught the way of Inner Peace by Tendo-
Sensei."
The doctor blinked a bit, then looked at Akane. His
stern face slowly relaxing, and starting to crack into a
grin, he asked, "Tendo-sensei? You mean Akane's teaching you
about inner peace?"
"No," said the Oni, "Tendo Kasumi is."
'Oh no,' thought Ranma. 'He's said her name! An' I'm in
arm's reach!' He struggled against Akane, trying to get away
before it was too late.
"K-K-Kasumi?" asked the doctor, glasses fogging over.
"Well isn't she just peaceful?" One arm snaked out, and
caught an unfortunate martial artist.
As Ranma's screams echoed through the district, Kenchiro
muttered, "What talent! He'd go far in the service of the
Yama Kings!"
****************************************
Five minor demons sat around a rather large table,
playing poker. "I bet six souls," said a red, cockroach like
thing.
A green slug with six lobster claws carefully considered
his cards. "I'll meet yer six, and raise ya two."
A blue one that resembled a human with mouths all over
his body dropped his cards in disgust. "Too rich fer my
blood," he said in polyphonic stereo.
The others laughed. A grey minotaur snorted at the blue
one. "Wimp. I'll meet, and raise another soul."
"Wimp yerself," said the last one, a black, shadowy
shape vaguely remeniscent of a pile of cottage cheese. "I
meetcha, and raise ya twenny!" It quivered slightly, a broad
white grin stretching across his face. Even its teeth looked
like cottage cheese.
Everyone groaned, and dropped their cards. "What?" asked
the black blob.
Before any of the others could answer, a large Oni, with
six horns, appeared in their midst, holding an ancient, robed
human. "SILENCE!" it bellowed.
The black blob looked up. "What's up? Is he a snack? Ya
want in on the game?"
ZARK! A blast of eldritch power lanced out from the eyes
of the Oni, vaporizing the disgusting thing. The other lesser
demons considered cheering, but decided it would be hazardous
to their health. "This mortal has command of you, slaves.
Listen to him as if he were the High Yama King, himself!"
With that, he vanished, leaving the human in the company of
evil.
"I am Takamaru Yoshi," he began. "I have been sent by
the High Yama King, King Chuan Lun Wang, on a mission to
reclaim a stray Oni."
"So?" asked the minotaur. "Whazzat gotta do wit' us?"
"You will accompany me to the mortal realm, where we
shal take him, screaming back to Hell." He looked at them,
and saw a slight bit of trepidation in their faces. "Oh, and
we're also going to kill a lot of people." Yoshi sat down in
the still rather slimy seat the black blob had occupied, and
basked in the cheers of the demons.
=====
- Valandar the Red of the Empty Tankard
Captain of the Guard of the Barony of the Far Woods
Empire of the Iron Mountains
and Ruler of the Spammish Main
http://members.tripod.com/~Valandar/fanfic.html
http://members.tripod.com/~Valandar/ran40k.html
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