Upperclassman Ranma
A fan-fiction by Ranmania
Disclaimer: All right. You've probably all heard this before. All characters
(save any new ones) are property of Rumiko Takahashi. I am not doing this
for any profit other than the satisfaction gained from writing. (However,
any donations would be very welcome.:))
Well, according to what I've read and watched (not very much), the series
seems to take place while Ranma is doing junior high. Generally, I'm just
trying to add another 'episode' to the series. So, sit back, and enjoy. (Or
curse and swear, depending on how you find my writing.)
Chapter 2: How great was the date?
Ranmania: Ahem. Okay, for those of you who've just joined in, this story can
be largely a standalone just like the chapter before it. Basically, here's
the premise: somehow or other, Ranma and co. have made it to senior high
school. And somehow or other (Read chapter one to find out how), Ranma has
agreed to go on a date with Shampoo in return for a service she and Cologne
rendered. Unfortunately, he's also vowed to help Mousse get a date with
Shampoo. Needless to say, Akane wasn't too thrilled to find that out...
BTW, a number of mails I received have indicated that script format is no
longer popular, so lets give prose a shot, shall we?
Act one: Roses are red, and Ranma's blue...
Her name was Akane Tendo, and she was jogging. She was the heir to the Tendo
style of Anything Goes, and sometime fiancee to local martial arts hero (at
least, that's what he thinks he is) Currently, her mind was not dwelling on
the innumerable and invariably painful things to inflict upon the personage
of a certain aqua-transsexual... But rather on the chain of events he had
set off. The China gang, a name she had given to the staff of the Nekohaten,
had been unusually quiet as of late. When Shampoo passed her on the road,
she had actually SMILED at her. No death threats. No challenges. No insults
even. Something was DEFINITELY up.
'Its almost a week,' she mused. 'Its not like Shampoo to wait so long...
Perhaps that bimbo forgot all about it?' A wry expression crossed her face.
'Right. And Nerima has hot and dry weather.'
Almost on cue, a roll of thunder, no a whole club-sandwich of it, drowned
out her train of thought.
Unlike the majority of the martial artists in Nerima, Akane was able to
enjoy the caress of the rain on her body, a soothing, gentle whispering
touch which soon evolved into a full bodied embrace of torrential rainfall.
'Sometimes, I almost feel sorry for Ranma... Almost.' She glanced at her
watch and gasped inwardly. 'Uh-oh... its time I headed home.'
Turning around a corner, she increased her pace, feet pounding the ground
like machine-gun fire. Of course, Ranma would have likened them more to
heavy artillery, but what did HE know?!
It was at this moment that she collided into something. Or more correctly,
someone.
'Ouch! Hey, why don't you watch where you're going!?'
The tall figure peered down at her from beneath its hood. In different
circumstances, it would have been foreboding or even sinister. However,
being clad in a bright yellow raincoat with small birds and 'PIYO-PIYO' on
it are not such circumstances.
'Mousse?'
Striking what he considered to be a dramatic pose, Mousse declared, 'Light
of my life! My darling, would you go out with me now? Even the multihued sky
itself cannot compare to your great beauty!'
Akane blushed furiously, and managed to stammer out, 'M-mousse?'
'Yes! My darling Shampoo, can it be you finally realise my love for you? You
no longer hit me and cast me aside!'
Akane's face returned to its normal colour in a hurry. 'Mousse... I'm NOT
your DARLING SHAMPOO!' She bopped Mousse on the head to little effect.
'I know that' was the calm reply.
'Huh?'
'I was just practising.'
Shaking her head, Akane trudged on home, her mood spoilt. Surprisingly,
Mousse walked alongside her.
'Akane, just where IS Ranma? Whenever I try to get him to pay up. He's gone
faster than a one-hit-wonder pop band...'
So Mousse at least hasn't forgotten... 'Come on Mousse,' Akane said
nonchalantly. 'The jerk's probably at the dojo.' Okay Ranma, lets see you
get out of THIS one. Akane resisted a severe urge to rub her hands together
and cackle.
Soon, they were on the threshold of the dojo. Soun and the other two Tendo
sisters were eating their breakfast, while Ranma and Genma sparred in the
background. Some things never change...
'And just what would I do if it ever did?' Akane whispered. Wait a minute, I
can't actually be FALLING for him! That perv?! No WAY!
As Ranma was shoulder-tossing Genma into the pond, Kasumi called out in her
usual pleasant tones, 'Breakfast!'
It is important to note that over the two years, Genma had developed a
Pavlov response to Kasumi calling out breakfast, lunch or dinner. It
involved running full tilt to the dinner table. No matter what he was doing
at the moment. Even if he was currently upside down.
The resulting movement threw Ranma's balance off, and after a few...
interesting... seconds, they splashed magnificently into the pool with a
'Ah... thank you Kasumi' and a more vulgar 'AAAARGH!'
Half a minute later, a drenched red-head and panda plonked themselves down
by the table.
'Stupid old geezer...' was Ranma's only comment as she began to wolf down
her food.
Managing to stuff his face at the same time, Genma held up a sign. 'Show
some respect for your elders, boy!'
'Ranma' was all Akane and Mousse could manage before...
'NIHAO RANMA!' cheerfully demolishing a wall, Shampoo hugged Ranma in a way
that would best be described as akin to a bear trying to crush an offending
tree trunk. If the purple in Ranma's face was any indication, the bear
wasn't just winning, but already picking up the honey clusters inside the
trunk...
'Today is big opening of carnival. Is very pretty night, you take Shampoo,
yes?' Emphasising her point, Shampoo hugged Ranma even tighter.
'urnk...' was the eloquent response.
Of course, this passionate moment was unfolding right before Akane and
Mousse. And they were not pulling out tissues and hankies to wipe away their
tears. In a perfect stereo, they bellowed at Ranma point blank from either
side. 'Ranma you JERK! How DARE you! Right in front of me too!'
Eyes boggling from the sonic assault and the lack of oxygen in her blood
stream, Ranma still managed a witty comeback. 'Help... meeee...'
In a manner which Tatewaki would envy, Mousse pointed at Ranma. 'You CUR!
Hear my words and heed them! On your word, I now collect my dues: Shampoo
and I will go to the carnival today! On your WORD, Saotome!'
'urk...'
Relinquishing her hold on Ranma, Shampoo graced Mousse with a bored look.
'Mousse no know when to give up.' Turning to Ranma, she held a single index
finger up in front of her face. 'Ranma, today YOU bring Shampoo to carnival.
On Ranma word of honour.'
'Ack...' Only one word could describe Ranma's expression at that moment:
abysmal. Utterly abysmal. Ryoga would have been proud.
In a single choreographed movement, Shampoo and Mousse nodded proudly, then
sauntered out, chins held high. Right into the rain.
'WAK WAK WAK!'
'MEEW! RRROW!'
This commotion was largely ignored by the people inside. Soun looked ready
to throttle Ranma for even CONSIDERING dating 'that Chinese bimbo', but was
held in check by Genma's frantic sign waving.
A huge drop of sweat on her head, Akane prodded the recumbent, twitching
ball of flesh. 'Ranma...?'
'I'm dead... dead...'
A sign dropped itself in front of her face. 'You brought this all on
yourself.' Genma turned the sign around. 'Fool.'
'Oh, shut up, pop...'
The rest of the day was rather uneventful save for a certain t�te-�-t�te
between Ukyo and Ranma during lunch time. To avoid endless lines of 'Ranma
said' and 'Ukyo replied', a script of the conversation has been provided.
Ukyo: What's the problem, sugar? You look absolutely down.
Ranma: Remember that play we had last Friday?
Ukyo: Uh huh. How'd you get the China gang to act in it?
Ranma: [Sighs] That's the problem. See, I promised Mousse that I'd get him a
date with Shampoo.
Ukyo: [Nods cheerily] That's sweet.
Ranma: ...then I promised Cologne and Shampoo that I'd bring Shampoo out...
Ukyo: [Nods sarcastically] Right...
Ranma: [oblivious, still depressed.] Only now, they BOTH wanna have their
dates TODAY!
Ukyo: [Nods] I can see your problem.
Ranma: [Brightening up] Yeah?!
Ukyo: [Nods] Yup. You're dead, sugar.
Ranma: [Falls over.] There's gotta be a way outta this!
Ukyo: [Smiling brightly] Of course there is Ranma-honey!
Ranma: Yeah?! What is it?
Ukyo: I... [Dramatic pose, background becomes dramatic] ...don't know...
Ranma: [Turns to stone and starts cracking...]
Ukyo: JUST JOKING! JUST JOKING! Take it easy... All you have to do [Looking
cunning]... is bend the rules a bit... Listen, they just said that they had
to go on a date with you, right?
Ranma: Uh huh.
Ukyo: Simple! All you need to do is double date with them!
Ranma: [Bursting with vitality] OF COURSE! Thanks Ucchan!
Ukyo: [blushing]...
Ranma: But who am I supposed to ask to go along with me?
Ukyo: [thinks] Come ON!
Ranma: I guess I'd better think about it a bit more.
*RIIINNNNGGG!*
Ranma: Thanks for the tip Ucchan! See ya! [Runs off]
A fuming Ukyo was left trembling in rage at the bench. 'He CAN'T be
serious...'
'And you're madly in love with HIM?' A girl with short hair parted at the
side had observed the whole scene with interest.
'Nami, I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel as though I want to
strangle him...'
'And all the other times you are crazy over him?'
Ukyo's silence spoke volumes. Her eyes began to mist over, as the
bittersweet memories played across her mind's eye.
Nami was one of the few girls who actually liked Ukyo. In her own right,
Nami was quite a tomboy. While not able to hold a candle to Akane, she could
handle most of the hormonally overcharged boys who got too friendly. She
also knew when to make an exit. 'Good hunting, upperclassman Ukyo.' *
*It seems to be necessary to call someone who's your senior in school or a
dojo 'upperclassman'.
Apart from a small murmur, Ukyo didn't even acknowledge her best (female)
friend's departure. Some things never change... And what would I do if they
did? Would I really be happy?
'Of COURSE I will!'
History class. A class where the lore of the ages are passed down to the
wide eyed young. Where the lives of great men and women are replayed time
and time again in an ageless saga. Where not a single student pays any
semblance of attention, much less interest.
Okay, now what poor, misguided member of the female gender shall I 'grace
with my favour'? This was the thought crossing Ranma's mind. With a jerk, he
caught himself, shaken.
Oh JEEZ... Now I'm startin' to talk like Kuno... Just goes to show how
stressful dating is on the noggin...
His gaze fell on the seat Ukyo used to occupy. Having dropped history, Ukyo
now studied in a different class. At times, Ranma didn't know whether that
was good or not.
'Maybe... Ucchan?' Ranma mused, then let his imagination take control...
A scene with Mousse and Shampoo came to mind, both of them looking like
demons with fangs and slit eyes. Mousse threw bombs everywhere, and Shampoo
smashed everything around her with her bare hands. Both of them are laughed
maniacally.
Shuddering, Ranma dismissed the idea. Ucchan was nice, but she was a friend,
and he didn't want her to get hurt. I need, he thought. I need someone
tough. Like a brick wall.
This being a cartoon, a light bulb appeared over Ranma's head as an idea
struck him. 'Brick... wall...' He turned his gaze on Akane, who was chatting
with Yuka and Sayuri. His face broke into a wolfish grin. Tough as a brick
wall... and around as dumb.
For her part, Akane proved Ranma's last assumption wrong. She DID notice
what he was doing. And she didn't like it one bit. 'Uh oh... What's Ranma
thinking about now? That look in his eyes...'
In that split second, Ranma had already formulated his battle plan. He was
going to use the dreaded art of... Martial Arts Pick-up lines. He crept over
to the seat next to Akane and sat down.
'Akane...' Not tomboy. Not un-cute. Just Akane. Somehow the word sounded
like loving embrace.
Caught off guard, Akane stammered. 'Y-yes?' What, no insults?
If you sat near Ranma, you could swear you could hear rusty gears clanking
and moving as bits of his brain he never used before began to operate.
Err... what am I supposed to say now?! Lets try this! 'Ah- Y-you look SO
pretty today...'
'I... do?' Akane's heart was like a drunkard dragged into a bar brawl.
Beating madly.
Smiling in his most charming manner, ignoring the stress-mark on his head,
Ranma ploughed on. 'Sure you do! I bet you're the prettiest girl in school
right now!' Help! What am I SAYING?!
'Ranma...' He's... so cute... The drunkard in that bar apparently took a LOT
of steroids.
Still smiling, Ranma fought against every survival instinct in his body. He
continued. 'Uh... I was wondering whether you'd...' Aw MAN, I can't believe
what I'm DOING!
'Whether I'd...?'
'G-g-go out with m-m-me?' His icy-soul training forsaking him, Ranma began
stuttering like an adolescent schoolboy asking a girl out on a date for the
first time. Which in fact, he was.
Akane was also experiencing new emotions. This was the first time a guy
asked her out without the words 'challenge' and 'duel' and sometimes even
'to the death' being used. It was definitely refreshing to say the least.
In his mind, Ranma brushed away a drop of sweat. PHEW! I guess not. Putting
on a serious face, he added, 'But if you're busy, I'll understand.'
'Ranma... I'd love to' With that, Akane blushed and smiled shyly in that way
most guys wished girls would do when THEY asked them out on a date.
However, Ranma only thought of one thing as he saw her expression. She's...
so cute when she smiles. 'Akane...'
Akane edged closer towards Ranma, looking deeply into his eyes.
Ranma noticed just how close her lips were to his.
Akane closed her eyes and moved even closer to Ranma. His world right now
comprised of Akane's face. He let his eyelids drop shut...
'HURRAY!' Party trumpets were blown, confetti was thrown about. The class
began to cheer and clap. Many of the girls began to sniff and wipe tears out
of their faces.
Akane and Ranma stared at the room, huge drops of sweat forming on their
heads. The new couple only had one thing to say. 'Oops...'
'Ranma! And we were beginning to think that you liked boys!' Hiroshi stopped
to wipe away a tear and blow his nose. 'I'm SO happy for you!'
'What?! Hey, how'd ya get THAT idea?!'
Daisuke popped his head over Hiroshi's shoulder. 'Weeeeelllll... there was
the six times you hugged Ryoga.'
'Seven times,' Hiroshi corrected. 'He did it again last month.'
'Okay, seven times,' Daisuke admitted. He then turned back to his victim.
'Then there was the time you started hugging every boy in sight... including
Kuno, and even when he had the flu...'
'Hey! I was under Shampoo's spell!' Ranma was beginning to get a little
agitated. Alright, maybe enraged would be a better word.
Daisuke was not to be stopped. Ticking points off his fingers, he rattled
on. 'And then there was the time you took girlie pictures of yourself and
paraded them in front of half the school...'
'I was trying to get Happosai to give me his moxibustion chart!'
Daisuke ignored Ranma's weakening pleas. 'And then... blah-blah-blah...'
Happily oblivious, Akane held her face in her hands, gazing with starry eyes
at nothing in particular. In her mind, she was dancing through a meadow of
flowers, throwing roses everywhere.
He asked me out! He didn't insult me or anything, he just ASKED ME OUT!
Her level of utter exuberance began to form a pink aura around her.
"EEEE! I'm so happy!" Charged with emotions, Akane turned around and ran
through the wall so fast that there was a perfectly Akane shaped hole
leading into the corridor. As she hurtled down the corridor and through a
few inconvenient walls, all the school could hear her battle-cry. "HE ASKED
ME OUT! HE ASKED ME OUT!"
Back in the classroom, the students had frozen in mid-celebration, every
last one of them face-faulting. Soon, however, the celebrations continued.
'Wow, you sure made her day.' Sayuri stared at the hole in the wall.
Patting him on the back, Yuka smiled at Ranma. 'Yeah. I guess we were all
wrong about you being an elephantine oaf with the sensitivities of a
bomb-shelter.'
At this point, the teacher finally lost his temper. 'CLASS!' He barked.
'Back to your seats.' Sadly, the class still adamantly ignored him.
Hiroshi snapped his fingers. 'Oh yeah! I almost forgot!' He trotted up to
the teacher's desk and held out his hand palm upwards.
'What is it?!'
'You know what we're talking about.' Daisuke descended upon the teacher like
dandruff onto a shirt. Inevitable, flaky and hard to get rid of.
Big-sweating, the teacher strove to salvage what was left of his dignity.
'This insolence is unacceptable.'
Hiroshi and Daisuke chirped in perfect unison, 'You said that they'd never
get along. Now pay up the 1000 yen that you bet.'
Fishing out his wallet, the teacher forked over the money. 'Gambling... is
my... ruin...'
Hours later, the eye of attention shifts to the Tendo dojo, where the
patriarchs of both families were engaging in their favourite pastime:
Martial Arts Go-Cheating.
Soun was just about to distract Genma to set up his 3-hit combination
attack, the 'Dragon descends from the heavens', when...
'DAAAAD!!' Akane barrelled into the room and flew into Soun's arms, tears
leaving sparkling trails in the air as they always do in Anime.
Soun's concentration broke, all thoughts of dragons and descendants
scattered to the winds. 'Akane? What's wrong?'
Only after some coaxing, Akane managed a short reply. 'R-Ranma... h-he...
WAAAAAH!'
The room grew dark and ominous, swirls of purple smoke appearing from
nowhere. Demon head manifesting, Soun growled, chewing each syllable like a
dog does a bone. 'What did he do this time?!'
Too distraught to notice the mood swing, Akane sobbed, 'He... he... WAAAAH!'
'GENMA! WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY FOR YOUR SON?!' The words were like the blows
of a smith's hammer on the anvil.
In panda form, Genma's only response was to use the Saotome final
technique... The tiger descends from the mountain. In other words, he began
to kow-tow to Genma. The sole thought in his mind was along the lines of
'Uh-oh...'
At this moment, Akane rescued Genma from certain bodily harm. 'He asked me
out! WAAAAH! I'm SOOOOO happy!'*
*Proof that Akane is Soun's daughter.
With a resounding pop, the demon head vanished, and Soun pulled out a paper
fan, all smiles and jollity again. 'That's wonderful! Genma! Did you hear
that?!'
Tears rolling down his furry cheek, Genma held up a sign. 'I KNEW he was my
son! The old Saotome charm works every time.'
(Ranmania: Considering that Genma managed to marry NODOKA... there has to be
SOME truth in that. )
Walking into the room with the tea, Kasumi smiled her usual smile at Akane.
'That's great Akane! You two are finally getting along. I'm glad.'
At this moment, Nabiki entered the dojo. She'd caught the last exchange, and
wasn't too happy about it. 'What?! He asked you out?' Apparently, she was
VERY concerned about a certain 1000 yen bet she made...
Still caught up in her own private nirvana, Akane sniffed. 'W-we're going to
the carnival this Saturday.'
'How romantic! This calls for a celebration!' At this, Soun and the
panda-shaped Genma pulled out their sake bottles and began chugging.
Ever the needle that pops someone's bubble, Nabiki interjected, 'I thought
that just today Shampoo called up that favour? You know, so that he has to
date HER to the carnival.'
The bottle halfway to his mouth, Soun froze. You could almost hear his brain
shift gear from Ultra-happy to Calm-before-the-BIG-storm mode. At this gear
he didn't just run over offenders, but dug their graves and provided the
coffin too.
Genma noticed this, but with his already limited powers of speech robbed by
his panda state, all he could do was sweat.
'Heh-heh... so you're son thinks he's a real hit with the girls, huh? One on
each arm, Hmm?'
'Now, now... I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation.' The sign's
lettering was unusually shaky, possibly an indication of the writer's
emotional state.
Fortunately for Genma, at this instant Ranma bounded into the dojo. 'I'm
home!' he yelled before turning to Akane. 'Hey I never knew you could run so
fast, what's up?'
All Ranma remembered before blacking out were two towering figures which
only said one thing. 'RAAAAN-MAAAAAAH!!!'
Oh...no...
A few agonising seconds later, Ranma was sulking by the table as Kasumi
applied the last of the bandages. If there ever was a Japanese version of
the mummy, Ranma would have very chances of getting the lead role.
'You should have said that you and Akane were going to double-date...' was
all she had said.
'Humph... I'm myself, I get hammered. I try to be nice, and I get the mallet
an' Pop Tendo bashes me up too...'
In the other corner, Soun was busy placating his currently homicidal
daughter. 'There-there Akane... See? He wasn't two timing you.'
Mallet still clutched easily in one hand, she snorted, 'Feh, our first date
should've been something special.' At this she flung Mr Ranma-Pounder at the
offending party.
'NOT A SESSION OF BABYSITTING THAT BIMBO AND HER DUCK-BOY!!!'
'Akane... Give it a rest. Why'd you think I asked YOU out?' was Ranma's
retort as he snagged the mallet out of the air.
If Ranma was even remotely observant, he would have heard the resounding
BOOM as Akane's temper finally snapped. Again.
'Ranma... you JERK!'
POW!
'WHY DO I EVEN BOTHEEEEEEEERRRRR?!!' with that wonderfully original exit
line, Ranma flew through the roof.
'Boohoo! Will our children never get along, Genma?!'
Patting his emotional friend on the shoulder, Genma held up yet another
sign. 'Give them time Soun...'
Act two: Carnival Capers.
The day of the carnival arrived. In a normally empty public park, the tents,
booths and rides were set up like a squatter settlement. Our view shifts to
the Ucchan.
'WHAT?! RANMA-HONEY DID WHAT?!' Patrons began to scuttle out as Ukyo threw
one of her infrequent but usually catastrophic temper-tantrums.
Nami nodded. 'Yup, my big brother said that in History class he asked Akane
out. They were even getting all gushy over each other.'
I KNEW it was a mistake to change class... Calming herself down, Ukyo forced
her voice to lower its volume. 'And, they'll be going today?'
'Yeah, to the carnival that's happening at the park. Y'know, I suddenly get
the idea that Ranma isn't as dumb as he seems.'
Ukyo could only stare at Nami with questioning eyes.
'He got two other people to double with him and Akane. It'll be harder to
split them up like this, huh?' Nami grinned mischievously. While she liked
Ukyo, she definitely did not approve of her continued pursuit of Ranma. If a
guy's taken, he's taken. That was her philosophy.
'What other two people?' Her interest piqued, Ukyo forgot about her
Ranma-honey. At least, for a while.
'The poor boy who keeps talking to lamp posts and what-not, and that girl
with the purple hair and the big....you know'
'Shampoo and Mousse... Maybe I can use them,' Ukyo mused. If Ukyo ever had
aspirations of world domination, she'd not only have it under her heel in a
week, but have it thinking, 'Hey, I LIKE being under Ukyo's heel. 'S my idea
in the first place.'
BOOM!
Walking through a hole he'd just blasted in the wall, Ryoga asked no one in
particular, 'Hmm... Excuse me, is this the Tendo Dojo? No, wait, I think I'm
still in Beijing...' He'd learnt that if you were super strong and appeared
to be a few fish-cakes short of a ramen seafood special, people tended to
pay you a little more caution and actually answer your questions.
Another light-bulb appeared above Ukyo's head, and she smiled so sweetly at
Ryoga that she nearly gave him tooth-decay. 'Oh Ryoooogaa... C'mere
sugar...'
'Oh, its you. Guess I'm in Nerima after all.' Ryoga finally paid some
attention to his surroundings.
'You bet, and just guess what is Akane doing now?' Ukyo almost purred.
Nami looked around her in panic. 'Erm... I think I'd better be going...'
With that, she scooted out of the hole Ryoga had just conveniently made in
the wall.
'A... A... Akane? Alright, what is it THIS time, Ukyo?' Apparently neither
of them even noticed Nami's departure.
'Oh nothing, just that Mousse and Shampoo are on a date...' The indifference
in Ukyo's tone would have done Nabiki proud.
'About time too,' Ryoga grinned. 'Wonder how ducky managed to beat her.'
Ukyo continued without missing a beat, 'And Ranma and Akane are doubling
with them.'
The grin froze on Ryoga's face. 'What?'
'I said, "Ranma and Akane are-"'
'Okay then... what's the plan?' Ryoga could get down to business when he
wanted to.
'I thought you'd never ask.' With a glint in her eyes, Ukyo used a finger to
beckon him closer. 'C'mere sugar.'
Edging closer to Ukyo, Ryoga placed his ear near her mouth. 'Yeah?'
'Well... psst- psst- psst- psst'
'Uh huh...'
'Psst-psst-PSST-PSST-psst.'
'Oh HO... Heh-heh-heh...'
'Psst-psst... And then... psst-psst-psst.'
'Perfect! Ukyo, you're a genius.'
With a mock bow, Ukyo saluted her partner in crime. 'Thank you, Ryoga.'
Ryoga broke into another of his trademark Alright-Ranma-I-got-U-now laughs,
'MUAHAHAHAHA!'
'NYAHAHAHAHA!' Apparently Ukyo didn't like being left behind.
They blinked, looked at each other, then...
'WAHAHAHAHAHAA!' Actually, they both made a very nice duet. Words were a
little dull though.
A couple walked by the restaurant. 'What a happy restaurant, don't you think
Godai?'
'I wish we were that happy when we were their age, Kyoko.' The couple walked
away.
Just nearby, in another restaurant, the air was filled with tension.
As customers gawked, Shampoo stood at one end of the restaurant, Cologne at
the other. Both were determined.
'No, this time great-grandmother wrong! Shampoo know what Shampoo must do!'
'Shampoo, you have been an obedient and bright girl. I'll let you off
lightly if you accept my orders!'
Mousse just popped out of the kitchen, steam still clinging about his body
after another water-induced change. 'Shampoo!' With a distinct lack of his
usual grovelling and gushing, Mousse walked over to Shampoo's side. 'No
matter what happens, I will stand by you always!'
Surprisingly, Shampoo smiled. 'Mousse go away. Is between great-grandmother
and Shampoo. Not Mousse fight.'
Cologne began to gather her battle aura, the air around her swirling and
distorting. 'FOOLISH CHILD! Know you not your betters?!'
Shampoo began to emit an aura of her own. 'SHAMPOO NEVER GIVE UP!'
'HIYAA!' The two women jumped into acrobatic leaps.
Cologne swing her staff around in a wide arc, a sound like a blade being
drawn was heard as the staff slashed through the air.
Shampoo drew out her bonbori, swinging them around in a complex matrix.
A huge flash blinded Mousse and the customers in the restaurant.
'This dress befits the heir to the Amazon throne!' Cologne's staff was
locked into a clinch with the bonbori, a white cheongsam dangling from the
end.
'Shampoo no want to appear old fashion!' From the left bonbori dangled an
assortment of clothing that seemed to be a size too small for a nine year
old. It had holes. It had glitter. It was TIGHT. It didn't so much drive
Cologne mad as to chauffeur her to insanity isle.
Every last one of the customers face-faulted. Mousse walked up to the two
fighting women. 'Excuse me... you were fighting because of... what Shampoo
will wear today?'
Without looking up, Cologne muttered through gritted teeth. 'A high...
ranking Amazon... must not look like... like some hormonally crazed teenage
girl out to drag a boy into her bed!'
Shampoo smiled viciously. 'Shampoo no look like old woman! Dress out of
fashion!'
Mousse simply said, 'Yes... of course...' Why on earth do I even bother?
In just a few hours, the sun had dipped below the horizon, and the street
lights came on. The hustle and bustle of the day was banished, and Nerima
became a different place. Well, at least for four certain young people it
did.
No matter how much he denied it, Ranma was nervous. Admit it guys. No matter
how suave you appear, there's always this tiny part of you that trembles in
trepidation. What if I say something wrong? What if it rains? (For Ranma,
that was a VERY important question.) However, these questions were
superseded by more pressing ones. What if Shampoo tried to kill Akane? What
if Mousse tried to kill HIM? What if Kodachi or Kuno (heaven forbid BOTH of
them) tried something? Quite frankly, Ranma wasn't scared. He was petrified.
No matter how much SHE denied it, Akane was nervous. This was, after all,
her first real date. One without the family tagging along. One that wasn't
forced on by their parents. 'Ranma... did you really mean it when you said I
was pretty?'
Shampoo wasn't the least bit edgy. Oh no, today, her precious Ranma would
finally see her for the treasure she was. And if that stupid spatula girl or
the mad one with the flower-fixation tried anything, they would wish that
they had never heard of the word 'steamroller'. Admittedly what passed for
fashion was around as comfortable as wearing underwear made out of dead
hedgehogs, but if it brought Ranma over to her side, comfort could shove
itself up Mousse's behind.
Just next door, Mousse was pulling layer after layer of clothing off his
body. A literal shower of metal and wood accompanied each shed skin. First
came a tuxedo. 'No too formal.' Then a variant of his normal clothes with
shorter sleeves. 'Too old fashioned.' Tonight Shampoo would be his at LAST.
With Ranma's blessing no less! Who cared if it made him feel like a loser
picking up the scraps. Shampoo WOULD. BE. HIS.
'MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SHAMPOOOOOOOOO-OO-OOO! I LOVE YUUUUUU-UUU-UU!
BWAHAHAHAHA!'
Cologne shook her head. Poor Mousse had finally cracked. While he was far
from her favourite, he still was her child, as much as all Chinese Amazons
younger than her were considered her children. A blind, blundering obsessed
child maybe, but her child nonetheless. 'Maybe I should introduce him to
some other girl...'
Ranma paced erratically around the entrance to the carnival. What if they
didn't turn up? He'd still be honour bound to arrange another date. He
didn't think his nerves could possibly take another session of
Dearest-Akane-may-I-be-your-escort-on-this-wondrous-evening?
'Not to mention my stomach too.' Ranma looked at his watch for what he
believed to be the hundredth time.
'What wrong with Ai-ren stomach?'
Ranma gulped. Oh no, Shampoo got here first... Turning around, he tried to
bring his Martial Arts Pick-up lines into play. 'Ah Shampoo. I'm really
sorry, but weeble-weeble duh dee duh....'
To say that Shampoo was clothed exquisitely would be misleading. Rather, it
seemed that the clothes were Shampooed exquisitely. For one thing, there was
a lot more of her visible than them.
Ranma's libido was taking the driver's seat and making rude gestures to the
rest of his brain as it stepped on the gas pedal. 'Uh... cold in those you
aren't?' He managed to stammer out.
'Shampoo happy Ranma like!' Her voice dropped from its usual cheery chirp to
a low, seductive purr. 'Shampoo see we all alone. Ranma DO like Shampoo
after all... Shampoo make Ranma VERY happy.'
Common-sense managed to get libido into a choke hold while self-preservation
took the wheel from the passenger's seat. 'Erm... wait a sec Shampoo... I
uh... that is I...'
This was one time Ranma was really glad that Mousse showed up.
'SHAMPOOOOOOOO!' Mousse rushed forward and embraced his beloved. 'You're so
pretty tonight, Shampoo.'
BIFF!
'Shampoo's over there, moron.' Ranma disengaged himself from Mousse's arms.
'Oops...' Whipping out his spectacles, Mousse turned to face Shampoo. 'My
dear Shampoo, I... I... wooga-wooga schlup....' Apparently, Mousse's sex
drive had commandeered the driver seat of his brain.
'What Mousse do here?' Shampoo glared at Ranma. Tonight was definitely not
shaping up as planned.
THIS was going to be tough. 'Well, you see, Shampoo, I also had to...' Ranma
sighed inwardly. Lets just get this over with. 'I told Mousse I'd get a date
for him with you...'
'BUT RANMA SAY DATE WITH SHAMPOO!' Shampoo was beginning to tear at the
eyes. She'd worked SO hard for this. Now that STUPID Mousse had to turn
up...
'Waaah! Shampoo, don't cry!' Dragons, he could handle. Malicious
power-charged martial artists he could cope with. But this was the Ultimate
Weapon. Ranma couldn't stand up to it. No way.
'Hi Ranma, sorry I'm so late- What have you done THIS time?' Akane was far
more laid back than Shampoo, clad simply in jeans and a T-shirt. While she
couldn't stand Shampoo, the idea that Ranma would bully another girl was
even more abhorrent.
Mousse chose this moment to snap out of his stupor. 'Ranma! What have you
done to poor Shampoo!'
Ranma was getting more than a little annoyed. Stress-marks popped into
existence on his head. He'd be DAMNED if he was going to get thrashed for
doing his best. Again.
'I'VE JUST GIVEN YOU GUYS WHAT YOU WANTED! SHAMPOO IS HERE, I'M HERE! SO
WHATS THE PROBLEM?!' Ranma's battle aura flared, causing a twelve foot
version of himself to tower menacingly over the trio.
'Heh-heh... nothing Ranma... everything's just fine!' Mousse had finally got
a chance at Shampoo, and the last thing he'd want was to miss it by being
sent to the hospital.
'WAAAH! RANMA NO LIKE SHAMPOO! WAAH!' Shampoo was doing a reasonable
impression of Soun's Geyser of Tears technique.
'You've only just noticed?' Apparently Akane was the only one unaffected by
Ranma's battle aura.
The foursome immediately broke into bickering.
'Okay, Ryoga. Do you get it?' Ukyo was desperately trying to ensure that
THIS time, Ranma would finally fall for her.
'Erm... we walk to the entrance... and YOU say... How nice to see you
Ranma-honey... ugh. Then I say what a coincidence, hi there Akane! Then...
then...' Ryoga leafed frantically through his notebook.
'THEN, sugar, we separate them and hit them with our secret weapon! OK?'
Ukyo sighed. Ryoga was a nice sort, but a little wanting in the brains
department.
'Ah YES! The secret weapon! I blast Ranma into...' Ryoga was interrupted by
the clanging of a spatula over his head.
'NO, you idiot! You hit AKANE with the secret weapon. I'M the one who hits
Ranma with the secret weapon!' Discarding the now Ryoga-imprinted spatula,
Ukyo chastised her partner who seemed none the worse after the blow.
'Ah yes. Got it. Just one thing.'
'What?'
'What's the secret weapon?'
Ukyo face-faulted. 'We're doomed.'
'Listen Shampoo, my honour's at stake here! If I didn't do this, I'd have no
face to show the world!' Ranma was nearing the end of his tether. They had
been arguing like this for almost half an hour now.
'Why Ai-ren choose pervert girl? She cook worse than Chernobyl go boom, she
beat Ai-ren many times, and Shampoo got prettier body!' For emphasis,
Shampoo struck a provocative pose which had many bystanders of the male
position gaping and drooling.
'Oh really?' Akane had long since lost her patience and was now gushing
battle aura like a broken faucet.
'Well, at least I can talk properly!'
Mousse sidled over to Ranma. 'Getting a little repetitive, isn't it?'
'We've wasted enough time already. Heck, I ain't gonna waste these tickets.'
Ranma walked through the gate and stood waiting on the other side.
Mousse thought for a while, then sighed and joined Ranma. It was his first
night off in almost half a year, and he wasn't going to waste it watching a
cat-fight. Shampoo or not.
A few seconds later, they gave up waiting and walked into the bright lights.
'Shampoo no- Ai-ren! Wait for Shampoo!' Shampoo bounced her way through the
gates.
'Ranma! What are you doing?' Akane turned around and chased after the
others.
'Ryoga, are you SURE this is the way to the carnival?' Ukyo looked around.
Somehow it seemed a little quiet for a festive night.
'I'm POSITIVE. Look over there! See those lights?'
'Ryoga... what's the Aurora Borealis doing here in Japan?'
To put it mildly, the carnival was huge. The animosity dissolved amidst the
festive atmosphere. If only for a while. Sometimes, a while is all we need.
Ranma and Mousse tottered precariously under a huge pile of stuffed toys and
carnival goodies, while Akane and Shampoo flitted all over the place. While
they weren't talking to each other, at least they weren't arguing or
fighting. And that, Ranma heaved a sigh of relief. That was the most he
could have hoped for.
'MARTIAL ARTS VIDEO GAME PLAYING!'
As they wandered another part of the carnival, their attention was instantly
snared by a large tent. It was at least as big as the training hall in the
dojo.
'Hmm... wonder what all this is about?' Ranma munched absently on a cookie
while trying to look into the tent.
'Hey you! Yeah you!' Ranma looked left and right, then peered down. 'What,
are you blind, pig-tail boy?'
The person standing before him was a scrawny specimen of a teenager. Picture
a pole stuck into the ground. Then attach a toast rack in the middle and a
balloon at the top. That's basically what the boy was.
'Yeah, big strong guy like you? Hah! I'd beat you flat in ten seconds!' The
boy sneered.
In a split second, Ranma's fist was touching the boy's nose. The scarecrow
almost fell back from the force of the wind accompanying the almost-blow.
'Feh, ANYONE can throw a punch here! Come on in and show us all what you're
made of!' The boy puffed his birdcage chest out so much that he was on
tiptoes.
'Sounds interesting.' Mousse adjusted his spectacles as he appeared by
Ranma's side. Shampoo and Akane soon followed.
'Ai-ren sure to win. Is no challenge to beat up toothpick boy.' While many
people underestimate Shampoo's intelligence because of her language
problems, her ability to needle and insult someone was almost becoming
legendary.
'Hey, babe. Want a real man?' The teen leered at Shampoo, seeming to ignore
what she'd just said.
Mousse growled ominously. A large number of clinking and clanking sounds
came from beneath his robe. A couple of blades and chains slipped from his
sleeves and slammed into the ground.
'Mousse! Not here! It's an enclosed area!' Akane looked around in panic.
'Only until my little friends have fun...'
A crowd was already being attracted. For people in Nerima, a fight was
considered free entertainment.
The boy continued to sneer arrogantly. 'Then step on inside... "brave
warriors"... I, Isamu Kettibepu, challenge you all to a Martial Arts Video
Game duel!
'There it is! I see the carnival, Ukyo! Soon... soon I will find Akane!'
Ryoga blushed deeply and began to demolish a nearby wall in embarrassment.
'Finally, you will be mine Ranma-honey...'
Act three: Samurai Show-off.
'The rules are really simple.' Kettibepu drawled as though talking to an
abject idiot. 'Two players per character. One person will emulate the
character itself and the other will control it.' The now crowded tent was
large, with a boxing ring in the middle. Large speakers stood at each
corner. Two consoles were fixed at one side of the ring, with small screens
standing up near it.
'Feh, no problem.' Ranma cracked his knuckles. 'I'll be the one emu-emu...
becoming the character.'
'Ranma... I don't like this. That creep's got something up his sleeve...'
'Don't sweat it Akane. We'll beat the little twerp hands down.'
'But still- we?'
'Yeah, didn't you hear him? Ya gotta have two to tango.' Ranma smiled.
'Besides, if anyone's gonna be pullin' my strings, I want it to be you.'
'Ranma... I have to tell you, I've never played a fighting game before.'
'That's OK, I haven't either.' He threw back confidently.
Akane face-faulted.
'I will not let that upstart's blood soil your hands Shampoo, let ME be the
one!'
'Shampoo no care. Is Mousse own hormone bring him trouble.' Shampoo crossed
her arms and looked away indifferently.
Mousse deflated. 'Just once, Shampoo, I wish you'd care.'
He looked so downcast that Shampoo faltered. 'Mousse...'
'Yes Shampoo?'
'Match starting. Go beat up little pervert boy.' Shampoo shook her head.
Boys will be boys. Besides, having someone beat up someone else for her
would be a new experience.
'Choose your corpse- I mean, your character!' Kettibepu almost squeaked as
he jumped up and down in excitement.
As Ranma stepped into the ring, Akane stared at the screen in front of her.
Good grief, THESE were supposed to be martial artists? Most of them looked
like fashion show rejects.
'Well, here I go!' She moved the joystick and tentatively pressed a button.
'RYU!' The speaker boomed. The crowd cheered as Ranma's body flickered and
changed. Now he wore a yellow Gi and a red headband.
'Hmm... a little like Akane...' he mused. As an experiment, he threw a few
jabs and punches. Or rather, tried to. 'Akane! What's happening?!'
Kettibepu crowed, 'You maroon! Now your body is under the TOTAL control of
the person at the console!'
Akane began to sweat. She'd wished that she'd been Ranma more than once. Now
she'd get that chance. Only if she screwed up, Ranma would pay the price.
'Its no big deal, Akane!' Ranma yelled back. 'I can take whatever the little
pip-squeak can dish out and still come back for desert!'
At the other end, Shampoo pondered over the selection of characters. Over
the long nights she'd become somewhat of a connoisseur of video games, so
these faces were old friends to her. Despite her earlier indifference, she
REALLY wanted to nail this little peacock. 'Someone, like Mousse... Use
weapons... Aiya! Shampoo got it!' She fiddled about a bit and then
triumphantly pushed a button.
'HSIEN KO!' The name rang through the air.
'Who?' Mousse managed to utter before he was consumed by the change. In his
place now stood a purple haired, blue skinned...
'VAMPIRE?!' Mousse yelled out in shock. This was not going to be good... The
fact that he'd grown... extra appendages was not making it any better.
'And now,' Kettibepu intoned. 'The reigning champion will choose his
character.'
The crowd peered left and right, searching for the champion.
'Where?!'
'...Can't find him?'
'I think that's him...'
Kettibepu face-faulted. 'I'm talking about ME!' Whipping his arm about, he
shouted, 'BEHOLD! The ULTIMATE FIGHTING MACHINE! Orochi!' Kettibepu began to
flicker and grow...
Shampoo began to sweat. 'Pervert girl! Is big trouble! Orochi is very cheap
character!'
'WHO ARE YOU CALLING PERVERT GIRL?!' The response was automatic, but inside,
Akane registered Shampoo's warning.
'ROUND ONE! FIGHT!' The irritating speaker voice shouted.
Instinctively Ranma tried to jump, but ended up tripping himself up. This
was not going well...
'They've got to be here somewhere!' Ryoga was almost despairing. And Ukyo
knew what happened when he got too depressed...
'Calm down sugar! We'll find them for sure!'
Ryoga seemed to take her advice. He did something other people rarely saw
him do. He stood still and thought. 'Lets see... This is Ranma we're talking
about. And Mousse and Shampoo...' He snapped his fingers. 'All we have to do
is follow the explosions and cries of battle!'
Ukyo sighed. 'Ryoga, I know Ranma attracts that kind of trouble once in a
while, but don't you think you're exaggerating?'
An explosion shattered the festive mood of the carnival. For a second. After
all, in Nerima these things were commonplace.
'Nope. Lets go Ukyo!' Ryoga grabbed Ukyo's arm and broke into a run. In the
wrong direction.
Ranma was not having a good time. Here he was, a top-of-his-class martial
artist, and he had to wait for someone to push his buttons. Literally. And
he was getting SO tired of blocking hits he could normally dance around.
'What's the matter? The big bad martial artist getting all tired?'
Kettibepu-Orochi taunted.
'You forgot about me!' Mousse yelled as Shampoo manoeuvred him into another
devastating assault. A huge weight fell out of his sleeve and crowned Orochi
as a multitude of large spiked balls pelted him. It almost made Orochi
pause. Just before he socked Mousse one.
Shampoo pursed her lips. Normally even Orochi should be beat by now. Akane
wasn't much of a player, but Mousse had been continuously nailing their foe
with weapons. Ryoga himself would have begun to falter in his steps after
the third Super-attack. But Orochi had taken a total of six from Ranma and
Mousse. He wasn't even beginning to breath hard. Something was wrong here.
'Aiya! Mousse save Ai-ren now!' Mousse was still struggling to get back to
his feet. Many times Shampoo had thrown him in the way of a devastating
attack meant for Ranma. Strangely enough, he never complained...
Orochi had grabbed Ranma by the throat and was gloating as Akane desperately
tried to wriggle her fiancee out of his predicament. 'You're all WASHED OUT,
boy!' Orochi grinned as he threw Ranma into the corner.
Right into the water bucket they used to freshen them up between rounds.
SPLASH!
Ranma's body began to twitch and flicker. The speaker spat out garbled
syllables before announcing another name. 'SAKURA!'
Now clad in a sailor-suit type school uniform, Ranma got up into a ready
position. 'Lets GO Akane!'
Frantically jiggling her controls, Akane yelled back. 'Its not working!'
'WHAT?!'
Orochi grinned and launched another projectile attack. 'Now you DIE.'
Ranma's instincts kicked in again and she got ready to leap. And she leapt.
Without Akane's manipulation.
'Akane! I'm free! The water must have shorted out the controls!' Ranma
grinned. Now she'd have some fun.
'Feh! I'm Orochi! What can you do to me?!' Orochi thumped his chest for
emphasis.
'I don't know, how about THIS!' Ranma shot off a volley of punches that
defied the laws of physics. All the audience could see were streaks of light
as they slammed home.
Ranma was grinning widely now. SHE didn't need to boost her ego by hiding
behind some fictional character as it did things she'd never do. SHE didn't
have to show off by memorising some button combinations to kick a virtual
opponent's butt. Oh no, she played games because they were fun. And she was
having a ball now.
Glowing yellow, she clenched her fists and concentrated her aura. Mousse
yelled at Shampoo to move him somewhere else. Which she did.
'Mousse! You hold bad guy down!' She squealed in joy as Ranma prepared her
trump-card.
'NOOO! Ranma, STOP!' Mousse struggled to relinquish his hold on Orochi. And
failed miserably.
The now dazed Orochi stuttered. 'That's not possible! Sakura can't do that!'
'Got news for ya, I ain't Sakura! MOUKO TAKABISHA!' The blast of energy hit
Orochi full on and engulfed him.
The crowd cheered...
'Ukyo! I see them!' Ryoga pointed excitedly.
'At last!' Ukyo put on her Hey-Ranma-how's-it-going smile and they both ran
over to where the foursome were.
Ranma was smiling smugly. 'Heh, I KNEW no one could be that good unless they
cheated!'
Mousse replied. 'Yeah. Things got interesting once Shampoo found that
Game-Genie in the game unit.'
'Don't you think we should have helped him from the crowd? I mean, he'd
already taken the blast straight on, and even managed to shield Mousse from
it.' Shampoo and Mousse shared identical evil grins.
'Humph! Cheat deserve worst he can get!'
When the foursome left the tent, Kettibeppu was being mobbed by previous
victims. It had not been pretty. Especially when someone pulled the plug and
'Orochi Isamu' flickered back into plain old Isamu Kettibeppu of the pigeon
chest and rubber-band arms.
Ukyo finally managed to catch up to the group. 'Ranma-honey! What ARE you
doing here?!'
'Ucchan! I see you brought Ryoga too.' Ranma's grin bordered on a leer. If
Ucchan and pig-boy were getting together...
'Ranma, I thought you might be hungry, so why don't we go over there and
I'll whip you up an okonomiyaki?' Ukyo nudged Ryoga.
'Uh, yeah! Akane, I just took some lessons from Ukyo, I'd be honoured if
you'll try my okonomiyaki. Lets go over there.' Ryoga recited his lines as
if they were off a script. Which they were, in fact.
'Sorry guys, but we're all kinda tired right now. Maybe some other time.
We're heading home. See ya!' Ranma turned to go.
Ukyo took a few quick steps in front of Ranma and used her most pleading
voice. 'But RANMA... I cooked this batch just for you! I and Ryoga worked SO
hard...'
One of Ranma's weaknesses was his utter lack of resistance to any soft
treatment from members of the female gender. 'Alright Ucchan. Just one.' He
took a small okonomiyaki out of the box Ukyo was carrying and popped it into
his mouth. Closing his eyes, he chewed. 'Its great Ucchan. Perfect as
always.'
Ukyo smiled a vicious smile of triumph. Now, all I have to do is have him
look at me. The Love-at-first-sight-sauce would do the rest. Ryoga, on the
other hand, was not doing so well.
'But Akane...' Ryoga held the box in front of her again.
'I'm sorry, Ryoga, but I really ate too much candy and stuff.' Akane smiled
nervously at Ryoga. She still remembered her last date with him and
encouraging Ryoga was the last thing she wanted to do.
'Yeah, I saw you stuffing your face like P-chan.' Ranma popped over and made
a face at Akane.
'Ranma! You leave my poor P-chan alone! Do you hear- Ranma?' Ranma was now
staring into Akane's eyes. Ukyo dropped the box and mentally slapped herself
on the head. Oh NO...
Ryoga was frozen in sheer terror. Now Akane would be lost to him...forever.
'Humph! If pervert girl no want, Shampoo hungry!' Ryoga didn't even notice
Shampoo pull out a mini-okonomiyaki from his box and bite into it with
relish.
'Shampoo, I really don't think you should eat any more. You've had quite a
lot already.' Mousse was the voice of concern.
'Shampoo do what Shampoo... want... to... do...' Shampoo was now vacantly
staring at Mousse.
'Erm... Shampoo?'
'Ranma? Are you OK?'
Ranma was the first one to break the silence. In one smooth movement, he
swept Akane off her feet. 'Akane! I have been so bad to you! All those times
I insulted you! The times I never took you seriously! Will you ever forgive
me?! Come, let us go and declare our love to the world!' With that, he leapt
out of the carnival. The crowd around where he was broke into spontaneous
applause.
The wind whipping at her hair, Akane wondered in bewilderment what had come
over Ranma. Then again, she supposed it could wait until morning. She put
her arms around Ranma's neck as they leapt over roof tops.
Back at the carnival, Ukyo was comforting a Ryoga who had broken down.
Utterly. 'WAAAH! MY DEAREST AKANE! GONE! GOOOONNNNE!'
'There, there... we can always try again. Besides, the sauce will wear off
soon enough. The plan was to have them eat the okonomiyaki THEN the
Long-life-long-love noodles, right?'
Shampoo still had to break out of her staring spell. Mousse peered
myopically at his beloved. 'Erm... are you all right?'
'Mooouuusse...' Shampoo was practically rolling the word like a sweet in her
mouth. 'Shampoo been so bad to you... you forgive Shampoo?'
'Erm... I guess so... Shampoo, are you feeling well?'
'SHAMPOO NO LOVE RANMA! SHAMPOO ALWAYS LOVE MOUSSE!' As she grabbed Mousse,
the crowd broke into another cheer and applause.
'How touching! Sniff...'
'Ah, young love.'
They stopped once they heard the first rib crack.
'S-shampoo?'
'Yes?'
'I need to b-breathe... p-please?'
Mousse struggled out of her embrace, and took in great breaths of air.
Shampoo walked over to him like some predatory animal.
'Mousse finish breathing?'
'N-now... Shampoo... I need to WAAGH!' Mousse broke into a run as Shampoo
chased gleefully after him.
'Ai-ren! No play hard to get! Shampoo love Mousse LOTS! No let go of
Mousse!'
'Not THAT much! Help!' Mousse went full tilt and left Shampoo behind in a
cloud of dust. At least, until he slammed into a lamp post.
'Ngh..'
'Silly Mousse.' Was all Shampoo said before she grabbed him and leapt off
into the night sky.
Ryoga looked at the disappearing specks. Then he looked at Ukyo. Ukyo looked
back at him. 'Are you thinking...?' They both looked at the remaining
okonomiyaki in the boxes.
'NO WAY!' They flung the boxes into the nearest bin and stalked away. There
would be other times. But for now, they had no further use for each other.
'Saotome! Look at this!' Soun Tendo gazed up at the dawn sky. And at the
couple on the roof just opposite his.
'They're finally getting along! At LAST!' Genma's tears flowed down his
cheeks.
'THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION!' Out came the bottles. Down the hatch. This
one's for Akane and Ranma. This one's for us. And the rest is for anything
we can think of.
'So... you were under another one of those love potions?' Akane had
recognised the signs as soon as Ranma snapped out of his
I-love-U-more-than-life mode.
'I think it was the okonomiyaki... Ukyo's learnt a few new tricks, huh?'
'So that means... you didn't mean any of what you've said last night?'
'I... don't know.' Here was the great Ranma Saotome. The man who had
defeated Saffron. The confident, often arrogant martial artist. Now unsure,
edgy and vulnerable.
Akane just squeezed his hand. They watched the sun rise and tried to pretend
that they couldn't hear their parents getting drunk below.
'Great-grandmother! What happen?!' Shampoo shook the prone body of Cologne.
All she'd said was that she now wanted to marry Mousse. And
great-grandmother screamed once and fainted. Wait a moment... she wanted to
marry MOUSSE?!
'Shampoo, I think we'll let the news sink in slowly. Come one, we have to
look for the wedding dress!' Last night had been wonderful. He and Shampoo
had actually talked. They'd chatted all night through, watched late night
movies and laughed at how silly some of them were. And now, they were to be
wed. Life was good. 'Shampoo?'
POW!
'Owwee... knew it was too good to last.' Mousse muttered from the floor.
Shampoo dusted her hands off as she walked to the kitchen. The NERVE of him,
taking advantage of her like that! Actually... TALKING to her! Shampoo
frowned. Actually, given how weirdly she'd been acting, worse things could
have happened. Maybe...
'Silly Mousse.' She pulled him to his feet. 'We have restaurant to run!'
Maybe not like Ranma, but Mousse was still someone special.
Mousse dusted himself off and looked at Shampoo, who was wiping tables. He
had had a taste of heaven. And now he knew that it was within his reach.
Maybe with a little time and a lot of training...
'Shampoo! One day, I will be strong enough for you! Just wait for me!'
Somehow, it sounded a lot more possible this time.
This time there were no blows, no curses. Just a faintly sarcastic smile
and, 'Of course. And pig-boy fall for spatula girl.'
They both laughed and began to open up the restaurant. Today was a new day.
And there would be many more after that.
End. For now at least.
PHEW! Well, I gotta say one thing. When you write in prose, it gets very
hard for things to stay light hearted. Already it's a little more serious
than I'd intended, especially at the end. Why a comedy piece? Because thats
what Ranma 1/2 essentially is. Its not so much about gritty, grim battles
and angst as it is about getting the audience to laugh. There's a lot of
serious fics out there, so I'm urging anyone who's got a good idea to try
his/her hand at a funny piece to even the scales up a bit. I also thought
I'd give Mousse a break. Maybe Shampoo's not head over heels over him, but
now at least she doesn't hate him. After all, he definitely gets an A for
effort. I'm ending the series here, so its more of a mini-series, 'cause if
I draw it out too long, I'll inadvertently change it so much that it'll no
longer be Ranma 1/2.
Many Ukyo-Ryoga fans will probably want my head on an okonomiyaki for this,
but I wanted to try something a little different. C&C are VERY welcome. If
you're reading this from outside the FFML, then please mail me @
ranmania@hotmail.com.
Thanks to:
Rumiko Takahashi for creating Ranma 1/2 and Maison Ikkoku.
David Tai, Paul Gallegos and Digital Knights for Daigakusei no Ranma (DNR),
one of the greatest pieces of fanfiction I've ever read
My brother James for sparking my interest in manga all those years ago.
And Miss 3B.
Ranmania, November '99
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