Returning Home
Part 2
By David Farr
Characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi.
This story and other of my works my be found at:
http://homepage.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/
*****
Ranma stood, humming quietly, surrounded by a sea of silvery water. The morning
sun felt good on his back as he balanced atop one of the stones of the Tendo koi
pond. Ripples splashed the walls of the garden with light as the koi busily fed
on crumbs floating on the surface. The young martial artist's head was bent,
staring down at the bundle happily sucking away at a bottle in his arms. A warm
smile had long ago crept onto his face as he regarded his son.
The silver on the pond faded as a large shadow fell upon it. "That's not very
manly son."
"That explains a lot about my upbringing then pop," Ranma shot back, not
bothering to look up.
"You've also left yourself wide open to attack," Genma scolded.
"Wanna bet?" Even as Ranma spoke his father felt a pin prick on his back. With
a sigh he fell to the ground. "Good work Ukyo."
"Hehe. Thanks dad," Ukyo skipped off into the house, happily swinging her spear
as she went.
Ranma's smile brightened slightly as he watched his red-haired daughter. Her
birth had been somewhat of a shock to him, her hair colour indicating that his
curse went far deeper than they had imagined. Still, she was the apple of her
father's eye. Like Ryoga she'd been a quiet kid of need, a baby's cry would have
brought down a lot of trouble in their old lifestyle, and somehow both had
sensed this. Instead the two parents had paid much attention to their two
children and managed to interpret their needs with a minimum of fuss. It had
been trying, but it had brought them closer as a family.
Ranma hopped across the stepping stones of the pool and landed lightly next to
his father. He prodded the slumbering man with one foot. "Come on old man, wake
up!"
"Huh? What?" Genma shot to his feet, and searched about for his attacker.
"You left your back wide open and Ukyo snuck up behind you and knocked you out
with a special technique," Ranma explained.
Genma started visibly. "That little girl beat me?!"
Ranma answered with a nod. "Yep. 'Course she's had surprise and she's pretty
good with that spear. Might even be the best fighter about by sixteen, if she
keeps up her training"
"That was hardly an honourable combat, my son," Genma pointed out, frowning.
Ranma shrugged as best he could with a baby in his arms. "Honourable combat
wasn't what the lesson was about. It was about protecting family."
"Lesson?" Genma puffed up in pride. "Well, always glad to help you train her."
Chuckling Ranma walked past his old man towards the house. "Who said it was for
her?" He left Genma standing by the koi pond, wondering on his son's words.
Inside Ranma found Nabiki standing at the kitchen door, worriedly glancing
into the kitchen. Ranma's memories of the middle Tendo daughter were sketchy at
best after five years. He remembered that she had a tendency to enjoy making
money off others, but something also told him that worry was not something she
usually showed.
"Ranma, good, get in there and stop her," Nabiki hissed, spotting him
approaching.
Ranma could only stare at her blankly. He had absolutely no idea what she was
talking about. Combat techniques and fighting styles he could work out, but when
it came to the subtly of words, he had no clues.
"Akane's cooking!" Nabiki exclaimed. "And it isn't CURRY!"
Still her comments went right over her head. Then, finally, it clicked. "Oh,
that's right, she couldn't cook before, could she?" Ranma took up chuckling
again and walked past the kitchen door.
Nabiki watched as he continued along the corridor. 'If these two continue to
spring surprises on me, someone WILL pay; and I'm not talking yen.' she thought,
glaring at him through slitted eyes.
*****
The Tendo front yard wasn't large, but then it didn't really need to be. It was
just a place to await those inside the house once you'd managed to get by the
gates. Still, it was a beautiful area, in its own quiet way, and the perfect
place for a young girl to bounce a ball on the concrete path. Ukyo though,
preferred practising with her spear, so was busy doing a series of feints when
the gates burst open.
Her spear point instinctively shot to threaten the intruder, who found the
point resting against his Adam's apple. He looked younger than Ukyo's parents
and she would have said he'd had a noble bearing if she didn't know some nobles who
would have taken offence. Ukyo's eyes flickered over him, his clothes were a set
of white robes that might have looked impressive if they weren't so out of
place, and in one hand he held a wooded sword. Obviously he hadn't expect an
attack, because his weapon was held lightly and his eyes gazed fearfully down
the length of the spear.
"Who are you?!" Ukyo demanded.
The man stepped back and flourished his sword. "I am Tatewaki Kuno," lightning
played behind him, "also known as the blue thunder of Furnikan high! I am here
to rescue Akane Tendo and the pig-tailed-goddess from the clutches of the evil
Ranma Saotome!" He looked down to realise that the little girl was no longer
paying any attention to him.
Ukyo walked over to the front door and slid it open. "Mum! Dad! The big idiot's
here to see you!"
Moments later Ranma calmly emerged from the doorway. "Now what have I told you
about insults young lady?"
Ukyo hung her head in shame. "Only us them to get an advantage in battle."
"That's right," Ranma confirmed with a nod. He looked up to see Furnikan's
prize fool still in his pose. "Hey Kuno, long time no see."
Kuno's mind, as sharp as a rusty bear trap, latched onto what the girl had
said. "So foul Saotome, you have finally shown your true colours, as I knew you
would. What loathsome whore bore you this devil child?!"
Ranma opened his mouth to retort, then snapped it shut again.
"Oh, Kuno!" someone sung sweetly from beside him.
Kuno turned and looked at the newcomer. A smile exploded onto his face. "Ah the
beauteous Akane--"
"DON'T CALL ME A WHORE!" Akane screamed, smashing her fist into the kendoist.
"And don't say Ukyo's a devil." She dusted her hands off as Ranma and their
daughter watching Kuno join the birds.
"Nice punch mum," Ukyo whistled.
"Yeah, you're still in good form," added Ranma. "Wonder if you managed to hit
the canal like you always managed with me." Akane glared at him, and he smiled
back in return. "You know we *were* gonna try to talk to him."
Akane shrugged. "He pressed the wrong buttons."
Before Ranma could reply Ukyo made an exaggerated sniffing motion then asked,
"What's the burning smell?"
"Eeeekk! Breakfast!" Akane dashed back into the house.
*****
"Breakfast's ready," Kasumi called, and stepped out of the doorway before the
horde came trampling through. Sometimes she wondered what they would all do if
she slammed shut the door, but decided against it when she realised it would
simply mean replacing the door.
Kasumi's smile slipped slightly when she saw Ranma and young Ukyo already
sitting waiting at the table, eagerly awaiting their food. The pair had both
moved far to quickly and quietly to be heard over the thunder that signified
everyone else's approach.
It was only moments before Genma and Soun appeared. Nabiki rather reluctantly
took her seat as Akane wandered in. Akane smiled at her eldest sister, then gave
her a conspirational wink.
The food on the table looked delicious, not quite up to Kasumi's usual
standards, but certainly very delicious. As soon the eldest Tendo daughter took
her seat everyone started helping themselves to the collection of dishes on the
table. Genma launched himself in with his usual gusto, grabbing what food he
could. Conversely his son and granddaughter both took their time filling their
plates.
As Kasumi watched she felt something was wrong, it took her a moments
concentration to see it. Even as Genma shovelled food onto his plate, Ranma's
chopsticks snagged them off onto his own plate. Joining in on the fun, Ukyo was
sneaking piles of her father's stolen booty.
Realising that watching the trio was not getting her any breakfast Kasumi
started helping herself. The food-fighting trio surrendered the dishes, not
wishing to offend the one person everyone in the house respected. Once all the
food was gone (there hadn't been leftovers since the Saotomes first arrived)
everyone looked down at their plates.
"HEY! Where'd my food go?" Genma exclaimed, staring down at his half-full
plate. He turned and glared at Ranma, who was innocently looking everywhere
else.
"Too slow! Food go!" Ukyo sang, and popped a morsel of food into her mouth. As
the meal started even Nabiki was smiling.
Nabiki raised her first bite to her mouth before remembering and paused, aware
she couldn't put it down anymore than she was willing to risk a bite. Out of the
corner of her eye she watched as both of the fathers swallowed some food. Soun
look thoughtful for a few second, but Genma immediately started shovelling, so
Nabiki guessed the food was relatively safe.
"Kasumi, it's not like you to burn a meal," Soun commented after a few moments
contemplation.
"But father," Kasumi started in her best
'I-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about' voice, "I didn't cook this, Akane
did."
Genma immediately started gagging, earning a fiery glare from Akane. Nabiki
however started in on her second mouthful, other than a slight burnt taste, the
meal wasn't bad.
"If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it!" Akane snapped.
"He's right though," Ranma pointed out, "this is the worst meal you've cooked
in a while."
Akane frowned, and violence seemed to hang in the air.
"I mean, it's been what, two years, since you last burnt a meal," Ranma
continued as if he hadn't noticed, "but then you did get distracted by Kuno this
morning, so I guess you've got your reasons."
The tension in the room eased with Akane's frown. "Sorry."
Ranma leaned across the table and patted Akane's hand. "We forgive you."
"Yeah sis, your cooking's really improved in the last three months," Nabiki
added before taking another mouthful.
"Would you cut the comedy?!" Ranma snapped at his father, who was still choking
violently.
"Ranma my boy," Soun spoke up once everyone had settled once more into their
meals, "we have to talk about your future."
The young martial artist stopped mid shovel. "Ahhh, let's see. As soon as Ukyo
and Ryoga are settled in we're going back to school..." He lowered the food to
his plate.
"I'll get some catch-up work off your teachers if you want," Nabiki volunteered.
"Thanks Nabiki, we owe you one." Ranma's comment sent Genma into another
coughing fit. "Ummm, we also have to talk to Shampoo, Kuno and stuff, get it
clear what what's. What else? Oh yeah, we're gonna have to start looking at
taking students again so we can pay the bills. I think that's it."
"Actually Ranma, you've forgotten something," Nabiki pointed out.
"Oh?"
"Well two actually. Neither Ryoga nor Ukyo have birth certificates. While Ryoga
isn't much of a problem, we just have to pay a fine for late registration, Ukyo
is far too old to be the child of a pair of sixteen year olds."
Akane frowned, but Ranma looked indignant. "We aren't sixteen!"
Nabiki took another mouthful and shrugged. "As far as the government is
concerned you were born sixteen years ago. That's going to create all kinds of
problems."
Even Ranma knew she was right and deflated. "So what's the solution?"
"I don't know," Nabiki admitted, "but there are some people I can talk to, get
some legal advice. This is going to cost you Ranma."
This time it was Akane who looked indignant while Ranma was resigned. "How
much?" he asked.
Nabiki shrugged. "My costs, nothing more for my big brother." Everyone stared
at her. "What? He is my older brother!"
"You said two things Nabiki," Kasumi pointed out, swiftly changing the subject.
"Oh yeah," she leaned forward, chin in hands and elbows on the table. "When's
the wedding?"
There was a crash as everyone but Ukyo face-faulted.
"We're already married," Akane volunteered.
Soun immediately started the waterworks, soaking his meal in the process. "My
little girl got married and I wasn't invited to the wedding!"
One of Nabiki's baleful glares was fixed on her father. "I think the invitation
got lost in the mail."
"Come on mister Tendo, you really think I'd sleep with your daughter unwed?"
Ranma took another bite of food. "We do have two children you know."
TWAK! Everyone leaned over the edge of the table to look at the unconscious
man.
"Oh my, he collapsed," Kasumi commented. "Is he okay?"
"Guess he never put two and two together before," Akane added.
"Idiot," Nabiki muttered.
Ukyo picked up her spear and prodded the unmoving bulk with the butt. "Not
beddy-bye time."
"Geeze pop, that is really lame." Ranma shook his head.
Soun lent over and patted his friends face. "Wake up Saotome!"
*****
Nabiki was at Furnikan's gates before she realised that she hadn't extorted any
money for her silence. Well, she was never one to pass up a chance, and unless
someone was willing to pay big-time, talking could wait for tomorrow if Ranma
and Akane didn't pay up.
The schoolyard was packed, it reminded Nabiki of when her sister arrived at
school, back before the engagement had become common knowledge. The only
difference was that this crowd encompassed both sexes, and seemed to be
concentrated on something in its centre. As Nabiki stood watching there was a
slight disturbance in the crowd, and someone pushed their way out.
Kuno's outfit had been added to since his arrival at the house. Thanks to Akane
the top of his head was now wrapped in bandages.
'Oh good, he landed head first, no damage then,' Nabiki thought.
"Nabiki Tendo! Tell these unbelievers that I am telling the truth!" Kuno
called.
Nabiki found herself the centre of attention suddenly. "And what truth would
that be?" she asked, taking her best "I'm-in-charge" stance.
"That the miscreant Saotome has forced your sister to bear him a child!"
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "You mean that four year old you met when you showed
up this morning? Tell me Kuno, how could Ranma and Akane have a child three
years before they met?"
There was a muttering in the crowd before Kuno, and he started to look
confused. "But... but... she called him father... and Akane..."
"Oh please Kuno-baby, stop wasting my time." Ignoring the spluttering kendoist,
Nabiki strode through the parting crowd, which was already starting to thin out,
and into the school building. 'That's another you owe me Ranma.'
*****
Ranma and Akane lay on the roof and gazed up into the blue sky. The morning's
excitement had faded into a peaceful day. Thankfully none of the other suitors
or fiancees had shown up so the pair got to spend time with their children.
Ryoga, the good baby that he was, had complained only once, needing his nappies
changed, then settled into his cot and immediately fell asleep.
Down in the garden Ukyo happily chased birds about, purposefully thrusting her
spear just to one side of them. She was a child, and it was one of those days
that made even the most serious youngster fell like playing. Of course it helped
that her play was as much training as fun.
Cotton clouds floated above the house, slowly moving through shapes as the
winds pushed them towards the horizon.
"See that one looks like a castle," Ranma pointed up at one cloud.
"I don't know, reminds me more of a ship," Akane commented.
Ranma turned his head. "Yeah, I see it."
"And the one next to it's a flower."
"Naah, more like a nuclear symbol."
Akane pointed elsewhere. "A beautiful swan."
Ranma chose another cloud. "Charging bull."
"An ice cream cone."
"Duck," Ranma said calmly.
Akane squinted up into the sky. "I don't see a duck."
"Quack, quack, QUACK!" In a flurry of white feathers a white duck wearing a
pair of bottle thick glasses pounced on top of Ranma.
"Hi Mousse!" the pair chorused, ignoring the ineffective attacks the duck was
using on Ranma.
Mousse continued quacking angrily at Ranma and raking him with his wings.
Unusual for the hidden-weapons Martial artist, there didn't seem to be any
surprises.
"I tell you what Mousse," Ranma said, catching hold of the duck and leaping to
his feet, "how about I take you downstairs, get some hot water, and then you can
yell at me in a language I can understand."
"Go ahead Ranma, just don't get Ukyo involved in your fight," Akane told him.
"Yes ma'am." Ranma vanished over the edge of the roof.
It took only a minute to get some hot water for Mousse, during which time the
small duck continued to flap and squawk. Ranma poured the kettle over the fowl,
then stepped back and watched while Mousse transformed in a cloud of steam.
"SAOTOME!" Mousse roared, having quickly pull his normal robes from nowhere and
donned them. "How dare you return?! I will not let you take Shampoo again!" He
thrust out, sending a chain whizzing through the air.
"Why would I want to?" Ranma leapt over the chain.
"Are you saying Shampoo is not good enough for you?!" He launched himself at
Ranma.
The pair crashed out the door and landed in a tussle in ground. Ranma
immediately flipped the Chinese martial artist off him. Twisting in mid-air
Mousse pulled out another weapon and threw it at Ranma. With little more than a
twitch, Ranma dodged out the way of the projectile, which buried itself in a
tree behind him. In retaliation Ranma sprinted towards his opponent, dodging
more chained weapons.
Reaching Mousse, Ranma punched upwards, trying to uppercut him, but the Chinese
boy flipped backwards. Realising his mistake Ranma leapt backwards, just in time
to have his shirt shredded by the talons on Mousse's shoes.
"Damn, another shirt ruined!" Ranma swore and threw himself at Mousse's back.
Mousse's hands blurred and Ranma blocked the incoming blow, feeling the
collision of the swan potty Mousse used in the swan fist. Dodging a sword, Ranma
allowed his feet to slide out from under him. As he hit the ground he twisted
suddenly snaking his feet around Mousse's legs and throwing him.
Recovering quickly Mousse spun back on Ranma and charged, pulling a trident
from somewhere. Ranma grabbed the weapon as it came within reach and heaved it
up over him. For once Mousse flew without the aid of cold water, arcing over
Ranma's head, carried by his own momentum. However as he passed from Ranma's
field of vision he let loose a chain which wrapped around Ranma, pulling him
along for the ride.
Twisting like a cat, Ranma was horrified to see where they were heading. "UKYO!
DROP!" he screamed.
Ukyo, still happily chasing birds, simply fell to the ground and the two
fighters sailed over her head. They landed with a splash, sending water flying
from the Koi pond.
A rather angry female Ranma rose from the pool, holding Mumu the duck. "I don't
care if you attack me!" THAWK! His fist struck the animal. "Just keep others out
of it!" THAWK! "ESPECIALLY MY DAUGHTER!" BOOT! Mumu was propelled towards the
horizon. Ranma turned and ran over to her daughter. "Are you alright honey?"
Ukyo leapt to her feet and dusted herself off. "I'm fine dad. Thanks for the
warning."
Tears formed in Ranma's eyes as she wrapped her arms about Ukyo. "I'm sorry, I
shouldn't have let that get out of hand." She heard Akane land off to one side.
"What happened?" Akane hurried over to the pair.
Ukyo looked up at her mother. "I wasn't paying attention and almost got hit by
dad's fight." She looked at her father's chest. "Um, dad."
Ranma looked down and noticed the tatters of her shirt and her rather prominent
attributes. She quickly grabbed what she could to cover herself and ran inside
to get another shirt.
"Dad's so funny," Ukyo giggled.
Akane smiled warmly at her lovers retreating back. "Yes, he is, isn't he."
*****
-----------
David Farr
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/
djfarr@ihug.co.nz katsuhito@planetjurai.com
"Die-cast construction, it's a lost art."
- Optimus Primal, Beast Wars.