the good-enough version
i have not heard this idea thrown out, so here's a rough
idea. anybody who thinks this should be done, send your
suggestions in e-mail, i can clip them together with your
tagline and put 'em out at once. (rather than clog up the ML
with 'em.)
Ranma 1/2 Blooper Reel:
Kasumi: "Well, you're in luck, Akane. After all, he's half
girl."
Akane: "What? Me? Marry that pervert? No way!"
Kasumi: "Oh dear, that means I've got to marry him. Oh well,
more screen time and more money as the romantic lead. I'll
take him."
Akane: "huh?!"
Nabiki: "Waitaminute! *I* want to be the one to shake my
booty around during the opening credits!"
Akane: "Guys, come on, this is the third take already!"
-------------------------
Ranma: "Upperclassman Kuno, didn't have much, did he?"
Akane: "What do you mean? You took a hit, didn't you?"
Ranma: "Doesn't even itch."
Akane: "Oh?" (starts tickling)
Ranma: "Bwhahahahaha, cut it out..." CLUNK!
Nabiki: "And Ranma falls to the dreaded Tendo Special
Manuever: Tickle Fist. Will he rise again, tune in next week
when the director stops pulling all his hair out!"
from Kahlil and Kiwi Noriega (LIME WARNING)
This is a blooper scene from the Romeo and Juliet story,
Ranma is up on stage after being thrown by Soun so that he
could kiss Akane. He is sweating profusely as he deliberates
on how he should go about doing it. Damn! he thought. I
should have paid more attention to that script...
The cast of extras playing as students began to fidget in
their seats. What's taking him so long, they all thought.
Finally...
"Don't be a moron!" Ranma shouted at the cardboard
caricature of Soun's demonic head. "If I didn't care...I
wouldn't be so damn HARD!"
"Psst, hey Ranma." Nabiki, called from off-stage. "That
would be 'This wouldn't be so damn hard.' "
"Oh, sorry...."
"Pervert..." Akane said, lying in her makeshift coffin.
----------------------------------------------
Blooper two, same story. This time the scotch tape scene
wherein Ranma has
to kiss Akane...
"Can't...can't you just, pretend?" Akane said, face sad at
the same time hopeful as her hand gently reached out to
caress Ranma's cheek.
God, she's so hot, oh that would be cute the script said,
but damn it, I can't take it...*Kiss*
"Mmmphhhh...ahh Ranma...whammmphhh...this isn't
in....mmphh...the....mmmphhahh...the, the script- "
"Who cares about the script!"
--------------------------------------------------
Blooper three, a change of pace here. The scene is at the
Tendo dojo, Akane and Ranma are playing their usual
argument/mallet type scene. In one of their chases though,
they manage to bump into Kasumi who was just standing by in
the background.
As the three slowly rise up, Kasumi is the first to speak...
"@#$@%^#%^#&!"
Everyone pauses as they all stare at Kasumi who is busily
dusting herself, grumbling all the while of stupid and
unprofessional actors. Ranma by this time has built up the
courage to speak. "Uh Kasumi..."
"YES! RANMA!" Kasumi answered with an angry glare.
"Uh, we're still taping..."
Kasumi practically blushed red as she breathes, "Oh my..."
---------------------------
Blooper four, a suggestion from my younger sister Kiwi, the
scene takes place at the fields behind Furinkan high, a
crowd has gathered all centered on Kuno and Ranko. Kuno is
about to profess his undying love to Ranko...
"Oh pigtailed girl, the clouds bleed like my heart..." Kuno
began his monologue, oblivious of Ranko who fairly tried to
hide her snicker. "...the mountains fairly cry from peak to
peak my undying love for you..." snicker "...Oh why? Why
can't you..." while Kuno said this, he grabs Ranko by the
shoulders and stops. Ranko, no longer hiding her snickers,
comes out to full laughter as she bends over, gripping her
stomach...
Kuno sighs as he turns his head to look at the sky and turns
pleading eyes at the director. "I can't work like this,
can't you see I'm trying to make art here...[Insane laughter
from behind] *sigh* if you need me, I'll be in my
trailer..."
---------------------
Blooper five, another blooper idea from my sister, a typical
Shampoo scene, she is hugging Ranma and trying to 'ask' him
for a date.
"Oh Ranma! It beautiful day, too too nice to spend all
alone. Why not come to date with Shampoo!"
This feels nice, Ranma thought as he felt the all too
familiar hug of the cute Chinese girl.
Hmmm? Shampoo thought as she felt the all too familiar
grope, she wastes no time in lauching the perverted actor
from her person and turns an angry glare at the director.
"I'm sick and tired of doing these scenes and having that
pervert Ranma grope me all the time." Shampoo screamed as
she argued with the director before the camera is turned
off.
The Anything goes Ranma 1/2 fanfic page:
http://www.geocites.com/tokyo/temple/9371
------------------------------------------------
from Kenjiko2@aol.com
"Kawaiikuno!"
"Oh, do you really think so?" replied the kendoist from
the sidelines. Hilarity ensued.
--------------------------------
Or...
"Is very tragic story of... wombat? Mister Director,
Mister Customer hit wrong spring again."
"Pops, I'm getting really really TIRED of diving into
the Nyannichuan..."
"Squerk."
===============================
from VideoGameAddictedPerson:.
Akane: Come on Nabiki, stop harassing her. She's a guest!
Nabiki: Hmph.
Akane: Hey, do you want to come to dojo? I'm Akane, do you
want to be friends?
Ranma: Sure, but when do we get to the lemon scene?
Akane: On the other hand, why don't I just pound you into a
greasy spot?
Ranma: Because that's not supposed to happen yet.
Kasumi: Well, you already messed up the lines, anyway.
*BANG*
Nabiki: Great. Now I gotta contact NERV again.
and from DKUN: (the Scenes of Nerima was posted on the RAAC
four days after i sent this idea out, which seems to be
another of those mind-boggling and fairly common
coincidences that Ike Asimov once wrote of...) posted here
with DKun's permission to the FFML
Scenes from Nerima
by
dkun
In the summer of 1998 I ran into a strange little man who
claimed to
have known Rumiko Takahashi. He also claimed to have been
around for
much of the creation of Ranma 1/2. He insisted it wasn't
always the
polished set of story lines we all knew and loved. After
buying him a
cup of coffee and a subtitled copy of Serial Experiments
Lain a set of
somewhat spotted documents and a dirty bra were entrusted to
me. They
included a series of outtakes and failed scenes that never
made it into
Takahashi=B9s version of Ranma 1/2. According to the old man
they were
discovered late one afternoon in the bottom of a birdcage in
her
dumpster. After a struggle at deciphering the documents that
lasted over
a year, I discovered the old man was right. Oddly, there
were no scenes
featuring Happousai. Excerpts from this set of documents
follow. Read
them at your own peril . . . I threw away the bra.
---
[Scene: Soun Tendo has just informed his daughters that one
of them will
have a new fiance in order to carry on the school.]
Silence reigns around the table for a moment.
Nabiki: Well Akane, Kasumi, I'll go take down the Dojo's
sign while you
take care of Daddy. I'm sure we can hide the body without
too much
trouble.
Kasumi: Oh, father, father, father . . .
Akane cracks her knuckles.
Soun sweatdrops while the girls advance . . .
---
[Scene: Akane has just opened the bathroom door on a naked
Ranma]
The two teens exchange looks.
Akane: So, Ranma is it? Wanna scrub my back?
Ranma: Sure, since we'll probably end up engaged I suppose
that's ok.
Director: CUT! How are we supposed to develop any sexual
tension between
you two, if you get along?
---
[Scene: Girl Ranma has just been given flowers by Kuno,
instead of the
challenge she was expecting]
Ranma: Ooooh! Roses! I love roses! Thanks Kuno. Take me to
dinner?
Director: You don't want to date him. You're supposed to be
a guy! Not a
girl! It's called acting, remember?
Ranma: But he's cute. And besides, my boyfriend isn't
anywhere NEAR this
romantic!
---
[Scene: Dodging a blow from Kuno, Ranma has rolled to a
stop, causing
him to look up Akane's dress]
Ranma locks up, a shocked look on his face, while Akane
blushes. Kuno,
clueless as to why Ranma has stopped looks around. This goes
on for the
better part of a minute.
Director: CUT! Saotome, what's the hold up?! It's your line.
Blue
doesn't suit you remember?
Ranma (shaken): N-not blue.
Director: Well, whatever color! It doesn't really matter.
Ranma (still shaken): N-not there.
Akane's blush deepens while the director just throws his
hands in the
air and the other actors facefault. Kuno still looks
clueless.
---
[Scene: Ryouga has just arrived at Furinkan and approaches
Ranma]
Akane: So Ranma, someone you know?
Ranma looks at Ryouga for a second before rushing to him and
grabbing
him in a huge embrace: RYOUGA! I was so worried when you
didn't show up
that fourth day! How you been buddy? Where'd you wind up
anyway? Let's
grab something to eat and catch up!
The two walk off talking while Akane just shakes her head.
---
[Scene: Akane has just slapped Ranma, Ranma and Ryouga end
up in a
struggle which causes Ryouga's belt to fly towards Akane]
The belt slices through Akane's hair as well as a good part
of her neck.
Director: CUT! Err, that may not have been the best word
choice . . .
MEDIC!!
---
[Scene: Kodachi has just challenged Akane to Rhythmic
Gymnastics with
Ranma as the prize]
Kodachi: Farewell!
She then spins her ribbon expecting to unleash a flurry of
black rose
petals. Nothing happens. She spins her ribbon again. Still
nothing. Some
of the students in the background have begun snickering.
Kodachi: What is with this stupid thing?!
As a last attempt she twirls it the other way. Rose petals
come rushing
out, unfortunately they end up covering her. Full fledged
laughter
breaks out.
---
[Girl Ranma has just been "rescued" by Mikado Sanzenin. He
goes to give
her a kiss]
Mikado: At least you can thank me for my earlier rescue.
He pulls her close and begins to kiss her. The kiss proceeds
for a long
moment with no sign of slowing down.
Director: Cut! Hello! Would someone pry those two apart. [To
Ranma] GUY!
You're a GUY! Remember?
Ranma: Is it my fault you hired my boyfriend as a walk-on
role?
---
[Scene: Ranma and Akane are in the Dojo. Akane is consoling
Ranma after
his first traumatic kiss and has dared him to kiss her]
Ranma: If, if you d-don't mind . . . Then I don't.
Silence for several long seconds and then Ranma and Akane
grab each
other and proceed to kiss with unbridled passion. In the
background
Nabiki is taping the event while the rest of the family
looks on. When
they break apart Akane turns to Nabiki.
Akane: Make sure you make copies for us ok?
Director: I give up with these two . . .
---
[Scene: Kuno rapidly approaches the Tendo home with two sets
of flowers]
Kuno [entering the Tendo Home]: Kuno's in da house!
Girl Ranma: You da man! Go Kuno. Go Kuno.
Akane claps and starts dancing as Kuno launches into "La
Vida Loca"
Director [bangs head against the wall repeatedly] Why me?
---
[Scene: Neko Ranma has just pounced on Akane and landed in
her lap]
Ranma turns his face up and gives Akane a slight peck.
Director: At last, they're following the script.
Suddenly Akane begins making muffled, happy sounds.
Girl in crowd: I thought the Full Body Cat Tongue was the
next story
arc?
Girl next to her: It is. And that's not how that technique
is done.
1st Girl: I don't know, looks like his technique is pretty
good to me.
Director [starts banging his head against a wall again]
---
[Scene: Cologne's arrival]
Ranma lands on a roof after Akane has kicked her out of the
Tendo yard.
Cologne, hopping with her staff, lands next to her.
Ranma: Who are you?
Cologne: I'm a little tea pot, short and stout . . .
Ranma starts laughing and mimicking the motions for the
song.
---
[Scene: Ranma is sleeping, it is early morning]
Ranma snores away. Suddenly one eye opens, and then just as
suddenly
closes. More snoring follows. Again Ranma opens his eye
before he starts
shaking with silent laughter.
Ranma: Yo Pop! You gonna sneak attack me or what?
We see Genma Panda blearily look around before holding up a
sign.
Genma: [What? Did I miss my cue? Is it morning already?]
---
[Scene: Ucchan's restaurant which has just opened]
Ranma: Yo Ucchan!
Ukyou: Ranchan! Come on over.
The young chef flings one of her creations to a customer
only to hit him
in the face with the okonomiyaki.
Ukyou: Oops! Sorry!
*Take 2*
Ukyou: Ranchan! Come on over.
She once more flings an okonomiyaki towards the customer
this time
missing the table by a good 3 feet.
Ukyou: Damn. I can't believe this.
*Take 3*
Ukyou: Ranchan! Have a seat.
Ukyou flings the okonomiyaki only to have it flop down a
foot past her
counter. Ranma and the rest of the cast start laughing
uncontrollably
while Ukyou bangs her head on the counter.
---
[Scene Shampoo shows up at the Tendo Dojo with some ramen]
Shampoo: Nihao! I, err, Shampoo bring too too . . . No wait
. . . I've
got some delicious . . . Who talks like this?!
Director: Cut! [To the Tendos and Saotomes who are
snickering] Quiet on
the set.
Suddenly he starts laughing as well.
---
[Scene: Akane is on stage dressed as Juliet watching Ranma,
Kuno and
Happousai fight for the opportunity to play Romeo]
Drama club leader: Who then, is the real Romeo? Vote for the
one you
like best!
Akane looks out at the fight, apparently waiting for
something. She
stands there for a long moment before looking angrily at the
balcony
floor.
Akane: Gosunkugi?! Gosunkugi! It's your cue, you're supposed
to jump up
now.
Meanwhile Gosunkugi hurries over from makeup only half
painted like the
balcony and only one deep circle under his left eye.
Gosunkugi: Sorry! It's taking forever for them to do this
makeup. Sorry!
---
[Scene: Ranma is attempting to learn the Hiryu Shoten Ha and
Ryouga has
just accused Ranma of molesting Akane]
Ranma: So anyway, last night Akane and I were sharing the
same tent.
Ryouga: Oh yeah? You are so lucky Saotome. It's volumes
before they
introduce my love interest. Of course, you and Akane aren't
supposed to
get along yet . . .
Director: Hello! Are you two ready to begin the scene yet?
[To Ryouga]
And you! You're supposed to be ANGRY. Where's this
impressive battle
aura you were hired for?
Ranma: We were rolling?
Ryouga shrugs.
---
[Scene: Tendo home. Soun and Genma panda are seated at the
shogi board,
Kasumi is cleaning]
Genma places a tile while Kasumi cleans the table.
Suddenly Ranma and Akane burst into the entryway singing at
the top of
their lungs.
Ranma and Akane: We're just two lost souls swimming in a
fish bowl, year
after year. Runnin' over the same old ground, how we found
the same old
fear . . . Wish you were here.
Genma holds up a sign 'What the heck?!'
Soun begins swaying side to side while Kasumi smiles and
holds up a
lighter.
Director: No ad libbing!
---
[Scene: Ranma is in the Nekohanten. Cologne is behind the
counter while
Mousse mops the floor.]
Cologne: So son-in-law
Shampoo suddenly enters, sees Ranma and heads to grab him in
a hug.
Unfortunately she misses the puddle of soapy water from
Mousse's mopping
and begins sliding wildly, arms flailing.
Shampoo: Aiyaa!!
She careens straight into the kitchen apparently crashing
into something
that was once piled up. Ranma laughs while Mousse looks up
from mopping
placing his glasses on his face. Cologne falls off her staff
laughing.
Shampoo: owie
---
[Scene: Ranma faces off against Saffron in an attempt to
save Akane]
Ranma: Here I come! You better be ready!
Saffron runs to meet him. They stop just in front of each
other, clasp
hands and begin thumb wrestling furiously.
Director: Ha ha. Very funny. Could we do it right this time?
---
[Scene: Ranma has just defeated Saffron and is cradling
Akane in his
arms, pouring out his heart to his "dead" fiance]
Ranma: Akane! Let me tell you I love you!
He looks down to see Akane sticking her tongue out at him
and making
silly faces. He bursts out laughing.
Akane: Oops, you weren't supposed to see that.
Ranma: So much for the emotional finale . . .
---
End?
Hope you enjoyed this brief bout of silliness. I certainly
enjoyed
writing it. Feel free to send any comments you have my way.
If you have
scenes you feel should be added, send them to me, and I may
someday be
motivated enough to add them to the page ^_^. Ja!
dkun
eoff@itsnet.com <mailto:eoff@itsnet.com>
~http://users.itsnet.com/~eoff/ranmafics.html
<http://users.itsnet.com/eoff/ranmafics.html>
-----------------------------------------
web: http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/
mail: metroanime@mindspring.com
"Shampoo get to kick major butt in this scene?"
-The Bet: Four Wishes
thanks for reading.gregg-san