I need c&c... as much as I can get... I have several other chapters
written but they need to be edited. More stories can be found at the page
listed below. c&c on those too...
****************************************
platypus3333
platypus3333@yahoo.com
http://members.tripod.com/Platypus3333
There might be spoilers in this story. I don�t remember. Always assume that
there are. This is my first story, so send me any criticism or opinions. I
made a new character because I felt that the serious needed a boy that was
neither totally lecherous or totally wimpy. Basically, an in-between sort of
guy who fit in.
****************************************
Parallel Worlds: The New Guy
Sohryu Asuka Langley was pissed, more so than usual. She was running around
in circles, screaming random German explicatives. Shinji, as a contrast, sat
at the table eating his breakfast. He made no move to calm Asuka down or
even attempt to. There was a very noble reason for this. He valued his
manhood. Very much so, in fact.
"Mein gott! Another pilot! Every time they ship a new one in everybody gets
all uncomfortable! Verdammt!" Asuka began pacing in circles. Shinji thought
that this was a good time to say something meaningful to the conversation.
"The last time they brought someone new in was you." Immediately, the
temperature of the room dropped several degrees as Asuka glared at him. She
then grabbed his ear.
"What?! What was that? Are you saying I make you uncomfortable?!" She
leaned over him, grabbed him by the shoulders, and began shaking him
violently. Shinji got a generous look down her cleavage, and got a
nosebleed. He did not say anything, because saying something would only
serve to worsen the situation. He simply took it and enjoyed the view. Asuka
stopped shaking him for a minute. She traced his gaze, starting from his
eyes to�
She smacked him upside the head and stalked off. "Hentai!" Shinji passed
out thinking happy, happy thoughts.
****************************************
Later, they picked up Rei and walked to school. Again, Shinji had collided
with Rei and ended up across her chest. Asuka had begun to doubt the
accidental nature of this incident, as Shinji had an incredible tendency to
do this. Seeing no options other than to abuse him, she let off. �Must be
growing soft��
****************************************
In school, it was a normal day. Rei stared out the window, Asuka mocked
Shinji, Touji and Kensuke made up rumors, and Sensei babbled meaninglessly.
At least, it was a normal day until Misato walked in to talk to Sensei. She
bent over his desk, giving all the males (and several females who will
remain nameless) nosebleeds. Asuka hit them all with a textbook. Misato then
got up and smiled. She gestured to something outside the door, and a boy
came in.
He was obviously Chinese, and appeared about 5 foot 7. He had short hair,
and had a quiet look about him. His dark brown eyes just did not contain the
proper look one assumes a pilot of a huge machine of raw destruction would
possess. They looked far too contemplative and thoughtful. Asuka nearly
snorted in disgust. THIS was the new pilot?! Mein gott�
He had a fairly calm look in his eyes as he took in the surroundings. Time
stood still for several moments as he looked at the class and the class
looked at him. No sounds were forthcoming until Sensei cleared his throat
and grinned.
"Ok, we obviously have a new student. His name is James Wu. Say �Hi,
James!�" Cho stared at the old man with an incredulous look on his face.
Sensei coughed and sweat-dropped.
"Ok, great. Everybody say �Hi� to James!" Everybody stared until Rei, who
took all commands literally and seriously, said "Hi." She then returned to
looking out the window. Sensei twitched noticeably, and the sweat-drop grew
in proportion.
"Ok, great. James, sit over there." James moved in the direction and
approached the seat in front of Rei. He looked at her for several seconds,
then put his bag down and sat. The sensei, upon seeing everything was fine,
lost interest and began babbling about the Second Impact. Misato, unnoticed
this entire time, grinned.
"Pilots, don�t forget that we have tests today! Bye!" She turned around, and
the female portion of the class made sure the other portion of the class did
not watch her back.
Cho listened to Sensei for all of 3 minutes before staring out the window
like the occupant of the seat behind him. As a result, he was the only
person in recorded history to see what Rei was so "fascinated" at. He
watched as various arguments occurred on the street. Directly opposite Rei a
drug deal was going down: she silently watched as a huge black man argued
with a small, rodent-like man dressed in a business suit. The small man then
pulled out a gun. Unfortunately, he was too close, and the big man took out
a knife and they fought to the death. Then a public sanitation worker
cleaned them up. Another man, perhaps a pimp, moved in on the spot soon
after and began trying futilely to sell cheap pornography to pedestrians.
Cho was morbidly fascinated with the incredible events taking place before
him. He leaned on his arm as he watched.
Across the room, Asuka kept her patented "Asuka Death Stare" fixated on Wu.
�He doesn�t look all that great. I�ll kick his sorry ass in training today��
She leaned back and visualized hitting his Eva unit. Several times, in fact.
And then kicking his head. She grinned as horrendous scenes of death and
destruction played through her head. Shinji glanced at her nervously. He was
well acquainted with that look, and he really felt pity for Wu. Or Touji. Or
Kensuke. When he thought about it, he pitied almost every male in the world.
He stared at her as he thought of the possible scenes of devastation in her
14-year-old female mind. He sweat-dropped. She noticed this, and turned on
him.
"Baka! What are you staring at??!"
"�"
Upon the lack of a verbal answer, she turned her nose up at him. "Stupid
pervert!" She would deal with him later. She went back to looking at the
other side of the room. She noticed Rei and Wu, in the exact same position,
looking out their respective windows. �Wonder-Girl meets Wonder-Boy��
****************************************
At lunch, she went up to Shinji. He was busy in conversation with Touji and
Kensuke. As she neared, she heard bits and pieces about Wu. She thought for
a moment, then sneaked up and scared the living crap out of Shinji. When he
started breathing again, she asked him sweetly, "Shinji, where�s my lunch?"
He sweat-dropped. "Squeak." He needed more air.
Asuka face faulted. "What? You didn�t bring me lunch? How dare you?" she
exploded.
"Er, well, as you might remember, I was unconscious for most of the
morning�"
"That is NO EXCUSE? What�ll happen to me? I�ll lose my beautiful figure!"
Shinji sweat-dropped some more. "ARRGGGH!" she stomped off in an "Asuka
Rage." Shinji collapsed.
"Are you okay?" Touji asked, sympathy on his voice.
"I think I just soiled myself," Shinji squeaked.
****************************************
Cho walked out, holding his bag. He scanned the yard, then saw Rei sitting
by herself in an abandones corner. He walked up. "Hello." She looked up.
"Konnichi wa."
"May I sit next to you?"
"If you wish to do so�" Cho sat down and unzipped his bag, digging around.
He pulled out a half-eaten candy bar and munched thoughtfully.
"What�s your name?"
"Ayanami Rei." She took out a banana and methodically peeled it, eating
quietly.
"Oh." �Okay, this is an interesting conversation�� He noticed that her lunch
contained no meat. "You�re a vegetarian?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
She paused. "Why?"
"Yeah. Is there a reason? Religious or something?"
"I have no religion." �Why is Pilot Cho questioning me? Did I do something
wrong?�
"So you�re an atheist?"
"I said, �I have no religion.�"
"That�s an atheist."
"No. Atheism is a religion. An atheist believes that gods do not exist. As a
result, they have a faith. I simply do not care." She started eating her
banana again. Cho thought deeply about this for a moment.
"So why are you a vegetarian?"
"It has not occurred to me that there is another way to eat."
"You�ve never seen someone eat meat?!"
"No. It simply has not occurred to me to eat meat myself."
"Oh. Okay, then." Cho gave up trying to make conversation and finished his
chocolate bar.
****************************************
After class, Misato was waiting outside the school to take them to NERV.
"Hop in!" she exclaimed. She then grinned. Shinji was uneasy. He had heard
bad things about drunks and driving. He was about to say something when Cho
beat him to it.
"Um, there are 4 extra seats and 5 of us�"
"Good! You can stay!" Asuka exclaimed happily.
"Do you ever shut up?" Cho asked, annoyed. Touji, Shinji, and Misato�s eyes
grew wide as dinner plates. �Poor bastard�,� they thought.
Wu, meanwhile, was only beginning to sense that he was in trouble. Asuka was
glaring up at him, and nearing him by the second. Her face was red as her
hair. Cho sweat-dropped as it dawned on him how much trouble he was in.
"Um, could you please back off? A little? I have this problem with girls
getting this close without�"
"PERVERT!!!"
"Ohshit." He began backing away. Quickly.
Asuka grabbed his shirt and hurled him through a second story window.
Misato arrived at headquarters several minutes late. Upon seeing that he was
unconscious, she had made Touji and Shinji take Cho and put him in the
trunk. She had then poured 2 cans of gaijin beer down his throat.
"Sedatives," she had said.
****************************************
He did not wake up when they arrived at base. Unsuccessful in all attempts,
they found a hand truck and stuffed him on, securing his comatose body with
duct tape. "Incredibly useful substance, is duct tape," mused Misato.
"Sometimes I use it instead of underwear." They all, having no chairs,
simply fell to the ground and sweat-dropped.
In the briefing room, Misato was explaining to the pilots their schedule for
the day. She had just began when Rei spoke up. "Pilot Cho is still
unconscious."
Misato glared at Asuka. "Um, yes, but we don�t know how to wake him up. At
this point in time."
Touji suddenly had a brilliant idea. "Hey, we can try this technique I saw
on this gaijin movie last night!"
As the rest of the pilots (except Wu, who was in his own happy world)
face-faulted, Touji sweat-dropped. He tried to save face. "Well, it was a
very effective method�" He detailed to his silent audience how coffee, tea,
salt, pepper, and just about every non-alcoholic beverage could be used to
shock a person into consciousness. Silence followed his presentation.
Finally, unexpectedly, Rei spoke up. "What was the name of the gaijin
movie?"
Touji grinned. "Back to the Future. Part something." The others exchanged
glances. It was worth a shot.
They stole Gendou�s water cooler and favorite mug for this occasion: he had
went to Eva 01 to have a nice chat with his dead wife. They mixed everything
together. The mug began to dissolve.
"Quick! Get it down his throat!" Asuka began pouring zealously as Touji held
the jaw open.
Rei, several feet away, pondered the wisdom of making an organic being drink
a substance that dissolved ceramic. �I do not see this as a wise course of
action. But how do I feel about this? Do I care? If so, Why do I care?� Rei,
busy pondering the situation, came to a conclusion far too late to save Wu�s
intestines.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" He jumped up and down, restrained by the several
layers of duct tape it had required to keep him on the hand truck. He then
tripped. His head collided with the nice marble table of the briefing room
with, to Asuka, a satisfying sound.
* Thunk *
Everybody sweat-dropped and looked to Touji for instructions. He shrugged.
"Exactly what happened in the movie�" He grinned. "Now for the second
helping�" Rei decided to comment this time, but was pushed aside by Asuka.
"Don�t worry about it, Wonder Girl, he�ll be fine."
Rei backed off and began thinking un-Rei-like thoughts, mostly involving
force feeding the liquid down Asuka�s throat with a funnel. �Is this
emotion? I wish to grab her hair and take a funnel and force feed it�� She
shook her head. �Inappropriate thoughts, Rei.� She then thought some more.
�What is "inappropriate" and what is "appropriate?" How can I properly judge
what is right and what is wrong?� She soon stopped thinking and looked back
at the group of amateur doctors.
Cho had revived immediately, but was still restrained for safety purposes;
he screamed very loud and didn�t blink for extended periods of time. Misato
shut him up with some more duct tape. She then began the scheduling again.
They had wasted 3 hours.
"Ok!" She smiled. "Back on track! Now, someone put this mug back in Gendou�s
office. Shinji, you go."
"What about the water cooler?"
"Our apartment always needs some more furniture. Don�t worry. Oh, and don�t
bother washing out the mug. We don�t have much time."
Shinji found something infinitely amusing in all of this and left. Rei felt
some concern for the Commander, but soon thought better of it. She didn�t
want to make a scene.
Once Shinji had returned, Misato cleared her throat and began. "First, there
will be some basic synchronization tests to see how well Cho can pilot." She
glanced at Wu, who had not calmed down at all. She ignored Asuka�s boasting
and continued. "Next�what time is it, anyway?" Seeing that it was already
7:00 p.m., she groaned. "That will be all for today. Asuka, please do not
throw Cho through anymore second-story windows. I�m sure that first the
floor will be fine."
****************************************
"No respect for an artist," Asuka muttered. They went to the changing rooms.
Touji wheeled Wu, as Shinji walked at his side. "What do you think of this
new guy so far?"
Shinji shrugged. "I dunno, I haven�t seen that much of him not when he�s
comatose or insane."
"Good point." They walked into the men�s changing room and contemplated Wu,
who was now looking at them with calm eyes. Touji ripped off the duct tape
on his mouth.
"Ow!"
"Are you back to normal?" Touji asked.
"Yeah, I�m fine, thanks. Who poured that crap down my throat?!" Cho looked
around uncomfortably. "And could you let me out? I have to get into my plug
suit." Touji complied, neglecting the crap part, and peeled off all the
tape. Cho shook his arms to restore feeling. "Ok."
They changed quickly, and pressed the buttons to compress the suits. Cho
looked at the curtain. Outlines could be made out. "How can it take them
that long? I was drunk and I took only 3 minutes, max. I think. The numbers
had been dancing the Macarena."
Touji shrugged. "One of the mysteries of woman-kind, I guess."
Shinji looked appreciative. "That�s deep."
"SEXIST PERVERTS!" The three boys watched as an angry Asuka pulled aside the
curtain and stomped up to them. They sweat-dropped. "WHO SAID THAT??"
Shinji, too afraid, just stared in terror.
Wu, too afraid, just twitched.
Touji, too afraid, just looked down. He got a nosebleed. Asuka traced his
gaze, and slapped him. She then kneed him and stalked off. Shinji and Cho
looked at each other with the looks people who survive horrible ordeals
together share. Touji had had no such luck. They contemplated what they had
just seen, and then felt an intense sense of sympathy. "Poor bastard�" Cho
and Shinji helped Touji walk out, hunched over.
"So what does your Eva look like?" Shinji asked over Touji�s back. Cho
thought a minute. "It�s a cross between all of the first 3 Eva�s, and is jet
black. I can�t explain it. It�s weird. How about yours?"
"Mine is possessed by the soul of my dead dissolved mother, who looks like
an older Rei. And it�s purple."
Cho stared at Shinji. "..."
Shinji returned the look. "What?"
"Nothing."
They entered their plugs.
Over a communication�s link, Misato instructed them. "Ok, now work hard to
attain the highest synch score you can get. Concentrate. Wu, are you sober
yet?"
Wu, when looking around the familiar interior of his Eva, saw two of
everything. "Yeah, I�m fine�"
"Ok." The link was broken. He concentrated.
Far above the Eva�s, Ritsuko noticed something strange. "Misato?"
"Yes?"
"Unit -1�s synch ratio is rising and falling."
"What?"
"Wu�s synch ratio ranges from 73% to 3%."
Misato closed her eyes. �Damn it� Kid can�t take his alcohol� At least
Ritsuko doesn�t know�� "I don�t know how this can be," Misato exclaimed
innocently.
"You knocked him out with beer, didn�t you?" Ritsuko glared at Misato.
"I�I�"
"I saw you guys drag�?!"
Unit -1 was swaying around drunkenly. Finally, it collapsed onto the floor
of the cage with a sickening "thud" sound. The complex shook. Ritsuko
sighed. "Take him home."
****************************************
Misato grinned sheepishly.
"Where do I live?" Misato looked over at Wu. Touji and Shinji, with the help
of Rei, had stuffed Asuka into the trunk. She currently had a death grip on
Shinji through the air hole they had given her. He was blue.
"When we get home, baka," she growled. Rei just watched as Shinji gradually
lost the strength to clutch feebly at her hands. Touji was fascinated. And
afraid that he would be next.
Misato thought. �Damn� If I can just say this without Touji making sexual
innuendoes�� "You�re living across from Rei."
Cho blinked. "Ok."
Asuka took this time to tease the both of them. "Hehehe� looks like Cho and
Rei will�"
"DAMMIT SHUT UP!!!!" Cho screamed. He couldn�t help it. Asuka released her
grip on Shinji and withdrew her hand into the depths of her "cabin." She
thought for a minute.
"Wu?" She asked.
"Yes?"
"You�re next." Cho grew a sweat-drop and twitched. �Sweet Mary, she�s
insane. A killer.� He turned to Misato. "Can I have the key now?"
"Why?"
"I�m going to run very fast and hide in my apartment once we open the trunk
to get my luggage."
Misato nodded understanding. "I see." Then she had a horrible thought.
"Hey, I forgot that your luggage is back here�" �I dunno if this is the
right bag. Damn. Ah well, lets see�� "Hey, Wu, you sleep with a teddy bear?"
She stuck its head out and waved it around for all to see. Surprisingly, Rei
grew red.
"GIVE ME THAT!" She grabbed the bear from Asuka�s clutches and hugged it.
They all stared at her. "What?"
"Nothing�" Misato was still watching Rei. �Whoa��
"Misato?"
"Yes, Touji?"
"We�re heading straight for a wall."
"Huh! OH SHIT!" She twisted the wheel and the car swerved. Cho was looking
straight ahead with terror when the airbag deployed and he started
suffocating. Shinji and Touji couldn�t breath: Asuka, lacking a seat-belt,
had grabbed their necks in panic. Rei simply held her teddy bear close. The
finally stopped. They all sat panting in terror. Finally, Rei leaned
forward. "Misato-san?"
"Yes?"
"We live a block from here. I am sure that Pilot Cho would prefer to walk."
Wu, sitting in front of her, while still struggling with the airbag, nodded
weakly. Misato sighed.
"Fine."
Cho got out and walked to the back. "Open the trunk!" he shouted. Misato
opened the trunk. He leaned in, looking for his case, and then his eyes
widened. "Oh, sh�" A very delicate, feminine foot collided with his groin.
He weakly attempted to stay up, but then collapsed in pain. When Rei came
out, she saw Asuka standing over a comatose Wu, who was still clutching his
groin, and feebly protesting. Rei took no notice and stepped over him,
giving him a nice view of her panties. His eyes widened for a moment, before
Asuka stepped on his head.
"BAKA HENTAI!" Touji and Shinji were staring, and winced when she managed to
kick his hands away and proceed to permanently disable him. Misato let it
continue for 10 more seconds, then grabbed Asuka by the hair.
"Come on, you�ll have plenty more time to beat the crap out of him later�"
Asuka pouted cutely, but to no avail. Touji and Shinji ran up to Wu.
"Good God, Wu, how are you?" Touji asked, expecting no answer.
"How� does� it� look�like�I�.feel?!**" He blacked out. �This was not a good
way to start my stay here��
****************************************
He woke up staring into a pair of red eyes. He jumped up in shock and
screamed. Rei blinked as she watched him twitch from her vantage point
standing above him. From her experience, this was not the normal way people
greeted each other in the morning. She tilted her head.
"Pilot Wu, it is time for school."
Cho looked around with wild eyes. "How did I get here?"
"Pilots Ikari and Suzahara dragged you up here last night. They are waiting
outside, along with pilot Sohryu." Rei watched as Cho began looking around
nervously and twitching some more. �Is this the normal human reaction to
Sohryu?� And then as an after thought: �It appears so.�
"You have 30 minutes to prepare for school, pilot Wu."
"Ok." Cho waited for her to leave. She did not. "Um�"
"Yes?"
"Could you please wait in the living room?" �What the hell is wrong with
this girl?�
"There are only this, the kitchen, and the bathroom, pilot Wu."
�Ok. I can accept that. Now if I can only get to the bathroom� this girl is
mental��
Cho crawled under his blanket before he realized he was fully dressed in his
clothes from yesterday. Rei tilted her head as she observed this decidedly
odd behavior. He finally crawled out, got his things, and went to take a
shower.
9 minutes later, he walked back to discover Rei still standing there. "Where
are the others?"
"Outside."
"Um, could you ask them to come in?" Rei walked to the door, and said, "You
may enter." She walked back. Cho stared.
"What is the matter?"
"Nothing� Nothing�" Cho walked over to the refrigerator to see if there was
anything to eat. As he had expected, it was empty. He grimaced.
"Hi, Wu!" At the sound of Asuka�s voice, he jumped up 3 feet. Asuka grinned
viciously. This was the desired effect. �Hehehe�� "How are you feeling?"
Cho recovered his composure. "Ok. I just need some food."
"I brought you some." She held out a bag, still with that grin. Cho took it.
"Um� Thanks."
He looked in suspiciously. It was a little foam container with eggs and
sausage. It smelled delicious.
"Hey, thanks! You�re nicer than I thought!" �But I�m not forgetting the
gut-wrenching nausea� the pain��
At this, Asuka froze and blushed. Should she let him eat it? She had cooked
it. She had long ago acknowledged the fact that her cooking was mediocre, at
best. Now that she had had a compliment given to her, she had no idea what
to do. �Verdammt� this is bad�� Cho took a plastic fork and shoveled some
into his mouth. His eyes widened in surprise, while Asuka squeezed her eyes
shut. �Here is comes�� He looked up smiling.
"This is good!"
�Mein Gott!!! The boy is whacked!�
Cho soon finished it and found all the pilots staring at him with wide eyes.
Even Rei looked slightly horrified and/or surprised. "What?"
"Nothing," they chorused. Then Shinji and Touji looked at Asuka, evil rumors
forming in their minds. Shinji, however, having no spine, would never act on
them. Touji had no such problems, other than a desire to make babies
someday. They turned around and snickered. They whispered some things to
Rei, who didn�t understand them anyway. They ran off. Asuka watched them go
with a strange sinking feeling in her stomach. �Scheist! Scheist! Scheist!
Scheist! Scheist! Scheist! Scheist! Scheist! Scheist! Scheist! Scheist!
Scheist!� Cho got up, threw away everything, and took his bag.
"Where did they go?"
Asuka began twitching for once. "Uh...School. We�re late. Let�s go." She
walked out, thinking furiously about how to defuse this situation. Rei, as
usual, just watched the world go by. She turned as Cho tapped her shoulder.
"Come on!" She followed.
At school, the three of them walked in late. The class watched as Sensei
stood up furiously. "James, I simply cannot believe that you would be late
on just the second day of school. All three of you, the buckets! Cho turned
to Rei. "Is that bad?"
Rei turned to him. "What is bad?"
Cho stared at her before the sensei pushed them out. After the door was
shut, the rumors flew.
"What are the buckets?" Asuka glared at him. He prepared for the onslaught.
"I can�t believe you�ve gotten me in trouble on your second day! I�m going
to KILL YOU!!!"
�Cho silently screamed.
****************************************
Gendou took a sip of coffee from his favorite mug. His eyes widened, and he
collapsed onto the table.
_______________________________________________________________
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