At 10:41 pm 25/07/99 -0400, you wrote:

Travels, Training and Trials
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic by June "KaraOhki" Geraci

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Chapter One

"Fiancee?"

Ranma's eyes bulged so far out of his head they nearly fell out.

Genma had the grace to look somewhat embarrassed.

"I made the arrangement with my friend Tendo before you were born,
Ranma.  At the time he had only one daughter.  Now he has three.  If
they're as pretty as his wife was, you should like one of them."

Hasn't anyone written an "everybody thinks first" fic before 
this?  If so, I don't remember it, and if not why not?  The 
treatment of the idea is well done.

"I said no!  How am I going to explain this to Tofu?  It took me
MONTHS to get anywhere with him, and now you want me to dump him for
some younger guy I've never met?"

"But Kasumi--"

"And I don't give a DAMN if he's Auntie Nodoka's son.  Forget it!"

I disagree with GK's opinion on this scene; I think he wrote 
his opinions as he was reading, not after digesting the whole 
thing.  Given that _everyone_ acts differently (but not too 
much), Kasumi's reaction isn't that far off base.

"I'm not in the market for a husband right now, Dad.  I'm too busy.
Besides, having only ONE boyfriend is no fun!"

Soun could only shake his head at Nabiki's statement.  He'd thought
that Kasumi had been popular in high school.  Then Nabiki had started
attending Furinkan, and boys followed her everywhere.  Right now she
was going out with two boys, both of whom had expressed intentions of
marrying her.  Nabiki seemed to enjoy keeping them dangling while she
made up her mind between them.

Hiroshi and Daisuke?  Kuno and Jeffrey?  I wonder.... ^_^

Hours later, Ranma relaxed in the Tendo bath.  He had a lot to think
about.

He and his father had totally confused the Tendos when they arrived.
Ranma had immediately asked for hot water, and was in the middle of
explaining Jusenkyo curses when Kasumi came home, and he'd had to
start all over again.  Kasumi had listened to the explanation and
demonstration, shrugged in disinterest, and disappeared into the
kitchen to start dinner.  Her sister Nabiki had excused herself,
saying that she had a date to prepare for.  That left only Akane at
the table.

Most flashback/memory scenes aren't too well done.  (I know 
I can't do it.)  This flows from memory into the present to 
Ranma's bath at the end of the scene without stalling.  

Ranma never got to unwrap the gift.  His father exploded into the
room, breathing heavily.  The pair on the futon separated instantly,
Ranma turning bright red and Midori white.

Are these little in-jokes about Japanese culture?  The fancy 
wrapping of gifts the Japanese are known for, and about the 
receiver refusing gifts twice before accepting one?  (Ranma 
only refused twice, he would have taken her the third time, I 
think.)  And how about the Japanese seeing red and white as 
opposite, the same way we see black and white?

"I have to tell her that the two of you are here!"

To everyone's amazement, Genma had gone dead white.

Your one error (you're forgiven ^_^); try being consistent 
with the verb tense: "Genma went dead white."  The above 
is quite awkward.

to be continued

Let's hope so. ^_^



Shunsuke


Hype is overrated.