Superfly Saturday Theater 3000
by Bono Video.

C&C needed like Ataru needs a harem.
Flamers will be exterminated with extreme prejudice.

Ok, before we get started, the MST team is as thus:

Bart[The Simpsons, property of Gracie Films, Fox and Matt Groening]
Neo[The Matrix, property of Warner Bros. and Village Roadshow Pictures]
Ataru[Urusei Yatsura, property of Rumiko Takahashi]




(everyone is in the Theater. Neo had just came in with a couple of Cheesy 
Poof boxes. He hands a box to Bart and one to the snoozing Ataru.)

Bart: What the hell are we in here for, anyway?
Ataru: *SSNNRK!*
Neo: I think we're here for a MST-ing, Bart.
Bart: Mst-ing?
Neo: Giving a fanfic the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment. We give 
clever comments on fics as they play out, see?
Bart: Cool. But why is Pervo the Wonder Lady-Leech here with us? *gestures 
at Ataru*
Neo: Have no idea.
Ataru: *SNNK!* Huh? Wha...? Hey! Neo! Your movie kicks ass!
Neo: Uh, thanks.
Bart: Hey, wait, somethigs coming on...

(The curtains part to reveal onscreen...)

All Spectators: Dr Forrester!
Forrester: Yes boys, I'm your charge for these fics.
Neo: Fics? I thought this was a one-shot.
Forrester: Well, until the writer sees another fic to review...
Ataru: Enough talkin', man! I want to do the fic!
Forrester:If you want...




A MOTHER'S WISH
by Scott K. Jamison
Ataru: Eep..
Neo: Something wrong?
(Note:  Urusei Yatsura and its associated characters created by
Rumiko Takahashi.  No infringement is intended.)


[Mrs. Moroboshi groaned as she forced herself awake.  Another day
[in her own private hell.  Her husband was still sleeping, a useless lump
[in the darkness.

Bart: Lump, lump, he's in my bed...
Ataru: If anyone in Tomobiki's useless, it has to be Dad, 'cos Kotasuneko's 
got uses.
Bart: Yeh, an exceptional plot device!

[*You did this to me!* she thought.  Dark thoughts of
[seppuku, or at least divorce, ran through her head again.

Bart: Sounds like a typical Hollywood romance
Neo: Good at first but all ends in tears...
Ataru: Only Mom and Dad are STILL together!

[ She pushed herself off the futon, performed her ablutions, and
[dressed for the day.  She had to check to make sure it actually was a
[clean outfit; all of her clothing followed the same pattern lately.  Just
[like her life.

Neo: And I thought Ranma had chaos that was similar. A never ending pattren, 
woven by the muses of the neverending loop.
Bart: Please kindly dump the Zen, Neo.

[Mrs. Moroboshi passed by her son's door on the way to the
[kitchen.  She could hear faint moans as his never-ending harem dream
[continued.

Ataru: I think you know about the harem, so I won't explain.
Bart (mocking voice): Ooh, Harem boy, eh? I know a place where you can get 
one _real_ cheap.
Neo and Ataru: Shut up.

"Shinobu-chan...Ryo-chan...Ryuu-chan...Lum-chan, a little
lower..."

His mother shuddered a bit.  She never should have borne him.
Yet somehow, she endured each day, despite the shame...

Ataru: She should be in the record books.
Bart: "Most Sensible Woman in Tomobiki?"
Ataru: "Most Enduring", block head.

[Breakfast was soon ready, not that anyone was really grateful.
[Ataru argued with Ten-chan, Lum argued with Ataru, and Mr. Moroboshi hid
[behind his newspaper, just like every day.

Bart: So far, so formula.
Neo: Like I said, a neverending cycle
Ataru: That's why most fans change the formula, but many have failed. Too 
bad I never got the harem..


[At last they were all out the door, and Mrs. Moroboshi had some
[relative peace.  But not for long.  Soon the calls began, from angry
[women Ataru had propositioned,

Ataru: Oh yeh, that's what can happen when I try to have fun.
Neo: An unfortunate characteristic. That's a sad thing.

[from angry men whose girlfriends Ataru had
[propositioned, from shopkeepers and the like whose venues had been
[accidentally damaged by Ataru and a few bigoted wackos complaining about
[the Moroboshis harboring dangerous aliens.

Neo: Oh shit, the MIB came to you too?
Ataru: When they visit, sunglasses are a sacred thing.

[Then visits from her "friends".  Each anxious to share gossip
[about the latest stupid thing Ataru had done, and to find out new dirt.
[She must have done something truly awful in a previous life, to deserve
[such a fate.

Neo: Not really, because then Mrs. M would be in Hell.

[Somehow, the housework got done despite the interruptions.  She
[even had time for a relaxing cup of tea before the calm was shattered by
[the return of her worthless son, this time with half his class in tow.

Ataru: Half the class? What an overstatment! I hate exaggerations!
Neo: Sometimes an exaggeration can be helpful.
Ataru: Yeh, yeh.

[They rampaged through the house, scuffing the floors, breaking
[the doors, making weird stains on the ceiling, and generally being
[nuisances.

Ataru: Weird stains?
Neo: I can understand the floors, doors and being nuisances. But stains?

["I will use the Wishing Star to make Darling faithful to me-tcha!"
[cried Lum, as she pursued a small sparkling object through the air.

Ataru: I don't think non-otaku anglophones will get that.
Neo: Only the subs hold the answer...
Bart: No more Zen!

["No, vengeance will be mine!" snarled the normally much cuter
[Ran.

Bart: That girl really want to suck you, Moro!
Neo: Congratulations, Bart. You made the first sexual innnuendo in the fic.
Ataru: Cool, Bart should be the rude guy!

["Ha-rem!  Ha-rem!" was the all too predictable refrain from
[Ataru.

Ataru: Here we go. Harem is my only wish, but why should I give up on it.

[ Shinobu bashed him with a table.  "I'll have a boyfriend of my
[very own!"

["Punish Ataru!" chimed in Lum's Stormtroopers.

["Foolish peasants!  Only the great Mendou is worthy of using the
[Wishing Star!  Lum will be mine!"

[Ryuunosuke made a leap for the Star.  "I'll wish my stupid father
[into someone decent!"

["I'll finally be rid of this stupid curse!" said some red-headed
[girl Mrs. Moroboshi didn't recognize.  She'd had quite enough of this.

Ataru: Special guest star, Ranma Saotome as "Red-Head".


"QUIET!!"  (Or in Japanese, "Urusei!")

Bart: OBNOXIOUS!!!
Neo and Ataru: What?
Bart: "Urusei is "obnoxious" in Japanese, right?

[Everyone screeched to a halt.
["We will settle this the sensible and adult way."
["Oh.  That makes sense."
["Why didn't I think of that?"

Neo: Because of greed.
Ataru: Hey, everyone in the fic and series has a wish.

[Mrs. Moroboshi smiled.  "Lum-chan, would you hand me that?"

[The alien girl complied.  The Wishing Star felt uncomfortably
[warm to the touch.

All: *Ulp!*

["Now will someone explain just what this thing is?"
[After much interruption and cross-talk, it turned out to be
[simple enough.  One wish, any one desire would be fulfilled.  Each of the
[people outlined the reasons why their wish should get priority.

"I see.  Well, in that case, I see that the wish should go
to...me!"

[While everyone was facefaulting, she took the opportunity to say,
["This whole mess started with one big mistake that I'm going to fix right
[now!  I wish I'd had a daughter instead!"

All:Ooooooooh SHIT!

[ There was the traditional flash of light as several people
[(especially Ataru) screamed.
            *                       *                       *
[Mrs. Moroboshi groaned as she forced herself awake.  Another day
[in her own private hell.  She glanced at her husband, a useless lump in
[the dark.  *This is all your fault!* she thought.

(Neo and Ataru stare at each other)
Both: It's the same as before!

[She pushed herself off the futon, made her ablutions and got
[dressed.  She didn't even check to see if it was a clean outfit.  She no
[longer cared.

Ataru: Wasn't there a thing about her clothing following the same pattern 
like her life here?
Neo: Then something _is_ different...

[Sounds of moaning were coming from her child's room as she passed
[it, and Mrs. Moroboshi shuddered.

Neo:Again, similar, but different...
Ataru: And I think I know the difference.

[*Even while sleeping!  What did I do
[wrong?*  The constant lechery, the insane aliens, the gratuitous property
[damage...  At least she got some help making breakfast.  She knocked
[loudly.
{"Alielle, it's time to get up!"


                                 [THE END

(Neo and Bart gape at the screen. Ataru just looks fazed)

Neo: Uh, Ataru...
Bart: Did the Wish Star do something wrong?
Ataru: *points to himself and grins* I might've been a girl, but it's still 
ME! Ha ha ha!

(All three laugh until Dr Forrester comes onscreen again.)

Forrester: So how did you like that?
Neo: Interesting premise, nice Ranma cameo, but the fic was too short when 
SKJAM could have built on the premise. Also, couldn't SKJAM! think of a 
better name for the new Ataru than "Alielle"?
Ataru: Also, Lum sounds silly using the "-tcha" suffix in English. Lum may 
speak both languages, but not as annoying as you think, Doc.
Forrester: I'll see you for your next fic, gentlemen, is there is one...

(Forrester fades out. The boys get up to leave.)

Bart: Hey, Ataru, do you think SKJAM!'ll do anther Momma's Wish fic?
Ataru: Dunno.
Neo: Maybe you should ask her if she feels up to it...
Ataru: Yeh, maybe.

(All leave, but not before ...)

Bart: Hey Ataru, would Alielle be cute?

(All three laugh at the prospect, but Bart joined in minutes after Neo and 
Ataru.)

Bart: No, I'm serious.
Neo (stopped laughing): You are one sick puppy, Bart.
Ataru: Yeh, one sick puppy.

(Ataru closes the door behind him then runs to catch up.)

Ataru: All that for a lousy $50 per hour. I should speak with the manager...


END(Oh Yeah!).



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