Subject: [FFML] [C&C response] The Contest Part 2
From: David Johnston
Date: 6/22/1999, 2:28 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Jason Liao wrote:

On Tue, 22 Jun 1999, David Johnston wrote:

And then Ranma would be alone with his crazy mother and his
theiving father.

"But not to worry!  Saint Ukyou is here to rescue you!"

Sorry, that last spamfic hasn't gotten out of my system yet.  Less
heroics...

Sorry, but this is a challenge fic.  The challenge was to resolve such a 
contest without showing any bias.  Therefore I tried to show each 
fiancee in the best possible light while ensuring that each passed the 
test.  (I could have had them all fail, but then the fic would have been 
over almost immediately and Nodoka's scheme would have worked.)  Also 
since I'm least fond of Ukyo I might have overcompensated a little.  
That is why I'm reluctant to go into details about how Kodachi tricked 
Ranma into an engagement, incidentally.  To so so might betray an 
authorial bias.  I do have a way in mind, but it makes Kodachi seem like 
the villain in a 19th century melodrama, and the story isn't about that 
anyway.  


"I don't really want to kill Ranma's mother.  I think it
would put a strain on our relationship."

I like this line.

Mousse lunged forward, flat
onto his face as she absently stepped aside, tripped him and
planted a foot on his back as she grabbed a cold drink to
hold over him.

>From the way this sentence is constructed, I can construe that Mousse was
lying facedown on the ground, and propelled himself towards Shampoo with
his feet.  Somehow, Shampoo trips him anyway (though he's alredy on the
ground), and stepps on his back.

I think you meant to say something like 'Mousse lunged forward, only to
fall flat on his face as she absently stepped aside, tripping him and
planting a foot on his back as she grabbed a cold drink to hold over
him.'

Yes something like that.  This was a bit of a rush job since I'd 
promised to give the ending soon.  I am not normally a speedy writer.  


Busted.  "Oh...hi, Kasumi.  I was going to clean up a little
accident.  Nothing to...<glkct>...worry about."

glkct?  What's that?

That's an inarticulate choking noise.  What, did I spell it wrong?


Without really knowing how it had happened Akane found
herself being hugged by Kasumi.

Kasumi's been taking martial arts lessons from Shampoo?  ^_^

Akane lay back on her bed and sighed.  After a moment she
leaned over and looked at her clock.  Time to get in her
workout.  After all, she wouldn't want to let her martial
arts skills slide.

Well...maybe she'd put it off until tomorrow.  It had been a
rough day.

Actually, I thought that Akane doesn't train after the first couple of
volumes in the manga.  That's secondhand info, though, so I could be
wrong.

Akane isn't shown to train, but I consider it unlikely that that she 
wouldn't be training at least enough to maintain the skills she had, and 
just because it isn't shown doesn't mean it isn't happening.  Besides, 
if she doesn't train, she doesn't have much to give up.  


"Oh.  Well, that's good," he said lamely.  "Say, you want to
grab a bit at the Ucchan?  Looks like it's open again."

"A bite of what?"

He followed her gaze.  Through the window instead of the
grill and stools he could racks of magazines, newspapers,
and manga.  "What the..?"

So, what's the new business called?  UcchanBooks?  Maybe she can hook up
with Shampoo, and become an extension of Amazon?

Maybe she wields a BattleLibraryCart now, instead of the Battle Spat.

"Nope.  She moved out and got a job as a hairdresser."

Oh dear.

"My!  What brand of dye did you use to get that colour?"

"Dye?  Why would I use dye?"

"..."

"My family's been making okonomiaki for at least that long."

Recognizable Japanese government hasn't been around that long (I think).

This is true.  Ukyo is claiming that her family's cooking tradition
predates Japanese government.  Shampoo is of course skeptical.  So am I.
But just because it isn't true doesn't mean Ukyo can't claim it.  She's 
not a saint after all.  


Nodoka looked about ready to cry.  "I was so sure that
they'd all say no!  I mean I couldn't have possibly been
more unreasonable..."

Oh yes she could!

Nodoka: Um.  Um.  Okay!  Now for round two.

Ukyou:  Round 2?  What's that?

Nodoka: Can everyone here rub their heads and pat their tummies?
        Well, what about pat their heads, and rub their tummies?

Well, yes...


Everyone turned to the new arrival, a handsome but tall
young girl with her brown hair in a pony tail.

"Mom, you didn't-"

"Are you my fiancee?"

Finace (unless she's like that, and Ranma's currently Onna-Ranma).

For some reason, I keep thinking of Yohko, even though she has two braids,
not a pony tail.

Probably because Yohko would have been a better choice.  Yes, all the 
contestants who guessed "Makoto Kino", you are correct.  That character 
was modelled on her, just because Makoto was the first romantically 
obsessive and unattached anime female who came to mind.  

On one other issue, yes "The Contest" is over.  I am not a writer of 
epic proportions.  If I hadn't posted in haste I wouldn't have forgotten 
to put "The End" at the end.  

I originally was going to comment on the initial challenge that the only 
point to such a story would be to parade one's fiancee biases.  Then I 
realised that the big mystery about such a story was not which fiancee 
would choose to make such a sacrifice, but why Nodoka would demand it, 
when, as has been pointed out, it would not bode well for Ranma's 
chances of a happy marriage to any of them.  

All that introspection was actually to just to rationalise an improbable 
outcome, that all four girls would make such a choice, so I get to the 
important part, the revelation of Nodoka's true motives.  All the girls 
had to pass the test because this was an ingenious scheme and we all 
know what happens to ingenious schemes in Ranma 1/2.  Now that the girls 
know that Nodoka was scamming them they would mostly revert to their 
typical behaviour (although Ukyo would probably start selling magazines 
_and_ okonomiyaki).  That's not to say that I might not use the ending 
of this fic as a springboard for some kind of crossover with Sailor 
Moon, (or with a slight adjustment, Devil Hunter Yohko now that I have 
the suggestion).  However that will be a different story.  

I'll post the revised and complete version of "The Contest" in a week or 
two when I get around to it.  Thanks for the comments.