A Fusion Anime Fanfic featuring Ranma 1/2, Sailor Moon, & Tenchi Muyo!...
Star Trek: Voyager (the Movie)...
"By the Power of the Borg."

Story written & directed by Andrew

(The scene opens with a Star-Trek like ship crusing in space, and crusing very 
fast.)

Nabiki's voice: Captain's log stardate 2830.48. We have finally come in contact
with the guy the Caretaker said could take us back home. Unfortunately, he
couldn't find his way out of a paper bag. (She sighs.) Meanwhile, we have picked
up Borg ships a few lightyears behind us. Sometimes I wonder why I even wanted
to work in the Federation in the first place. I wonder if Babylon 5 is hiring?

(The scene cuts to the the bridge. At the navigational helm is Daisuke. The
science area is being tended to by Kodachi. Back behind Nabiki, Taro is working
the security area, Ranma works the Weapons and Ops. Sitting next to Nabiki is
Ryouga. And everyone is dressed in Star Trek uniforms.)

Nabiki: So, you're the new Caretaker?

Ryouga: Well, yeah.

Nabiki: And you let out those plasma streams whenever you're depressed,
displacing starships and planets all over the place?

Ryouga: Yeah.

Nabiki: And you have no idea which way is North?

Ryouga: I get lost a lot.

Nabiki: I see.
 
Ryouga: Yeah.

Nabiki: Bridge to Sick Bay.

Dr. Tofu's voice: Sick Bay
.
Nabiki: I'm sending...what did they call you?

Ryouga: Ryouga. It's better than being called the P.

Nabiki: ...sending Ryouga over. Examine him and see if there is something that
makes him unable to go in a straight line. Daisuke, go with Ryouga.
(Daisuke leaves. Gosunkurgi takes Daisuke's place.) Now, where are those Borg
Ships? (Gosunkurgi examines his ops panels very frantically.

Gosunkurgi: Um, I think they're one lightyear away.

Nabiki (glaring at Gosunkurgi): You *think?*

Gosunkurgi: Don't blame me, Captain, you know I graduated last at the Academy!

Female voice: Resistance is futile!

Nabiki: .... (Everyone on the bridge starts to big-sweat, except Nabiki.)

Tarou: The Borg ship is hailing us, Captain.

Nabiki: On screen. (On the screen is a bunch of borg wearing fukus, glaring at
Nabiki. All of these borgs are girls and they have long hairs. Yep, it's the  
Sailor Moon group.)

Sailor Moon: Resistance is so uncute. (Kasumi comes in carrying a silver plate
filled with sweets. Sailor Moon eyes gets really wide!) Say, are those cookies?

Kasumi: Would you like some cookies? (Nabiki starts to big-sweat.)

Sailor Moon: Anyway, we want to assimulate you. Resistance is so uncute.
Assembly required.

Tarou: I hate it when they say "Some Assembly Required."

Sailor Moon: And yes, we do would like some cookies. (She grins in that kawaii
sort of way.)

Nabiki: You realize that we are heading towards the Alpha Quadrant?
Sailor Pluto: Ha! Do you realize you're actually heading towards the Beta
Quadrant?

Nabiki: B-b-but Ryouga...oohh! We're heading in the wrong direction!

Ranma: Captain, they've just kidnapped---(A borg girl appears, grabs Ranma, and
disappears.)

Nabiki (glaring at Sailor Moon): What are you planning to do with my crew you've
kidnapped?

Sailor Moon: We plan to turn them into Sailor Senshi and help defeat evil with
love, truth, and lots and lots of cookies! (Another borg girl transports herself
in, takes Nabiki and Kasumi, and disappears the same way she came in. Everyone
remaining looks around.)

Taro: Um, who's next in line?

Gosunkurgi: I think Commander Herb is. (Herb comes in.)

Herb: Yes, it's me. Now, what are you ladies going to do now? (Sailor Moon
yawns.) I do hope this isn't going to take this long, I have a date with Rouge,
the ship's counselor.

Sailor Neptune: We'll just have to kidnap all of you. (More Sailor Borgs pop
in, kidnap the entire crew and disappear leaving a empty spaceship.)

Dr. Tofu's voice: Now, Ryouga, this will only hurt a little...

Ryouga's voice: Arrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Not one of those anal
probes!

(Well, almost empty.... We switch over to the Borg ship where Ranma is mewing
like a cat while Luna and Artemis are talking it over.)

Luna: Interesting, that a boy like him should be so afraid of cats.

Artemis: How did he get into such a disposition? (Luna looks at a holopad.)

Luna: Well, it was his father. Neko-ken.

Artemis: Wrapping the two-year-old in fish-induced paper and tossing him into a
pit of hungry cats for days. This'll be tough.

Luna: Yes, but we have the tools. We have the technology. Artemis, we can
rebuild him! Let's do it! Let's build the 6 billion yen baka!

Artemis: B-b-but we're cats! And besides--- 

Luna: So? It didn't stop Garfield. Or Salem.

Artemis: Or Uura. Or Jiji.

Luna: Right. So, let's cure this boy of his neko-ken.

Ranma: Meow? (He starts to purr.)

Luna: Say, when was the last time you purred Artemis?

Artemis: When Usagi actually made it to school, for once.

Luna: Ah. Shall we begin?

Artemis: Lets.

(We see Nabiki being escorted by a male Borg, who looks suspiciously like
Tenchi. Ryo-oh-ki follows him.)

Nabiki: So...who are you?

Tenchi: I am Ten of Eleven. You are to be assimulated as Sailor Asteroid.

Nabiki: Sailor Asteroid?!

Tenchi: Yes, you are very fitting for such a planetary destination.

Nabiki: That implies I'm very insigificant!

Tenchi: Exactly.

Ryo-oh-ki: Miyaa.

Nabiki: And who is that?

Tenchi: She is Ryo-oh-ki, also known as Sailor Cabbit. She just conveyed to me
your life's history. I'm amazed you sold your mother just so that you could get
into this Starfleet Academy. You must have quite the bad family.

(Nabiki winces. Tenchi escorts Nabiki to a hollow chamber.)

Nabiki: Didn't you have any family? (Tenchi sighed.)

Tenchi: If you really must know, my father was named two out of three.

Nabiki: Two out of three?

Tenchi: Because two out of three ain't bad. He wasn't that good either.

Nabiki: Um...

Tenchi: Anyway, you are to be assimulated. And there is nothing that you can do.

Nabiki: How about the chance to meet boys your age?

Tenchi: Well, considering they usually become girls...hmm...(As Tenchi sits
there and ponders these things, Nabiki grabs him and drags him to a transporter
room where they transport back to the ship.)

(We switch to the center where Princess Serenity is watching all of this with
her 3-D ViewMaster (TM). Sailor Venus comes in.)

Sailor Venus: All is going as planned. (Serenity jumps out of her seat.)

Sailor Moon: Would you please announce you're coming before you say something?
Have our versions of their dilithum crystals been put aboard the ship?

Sailor Venus: Yes, my Princess.

(On board the ship, we see Queen Berzel, Jadeite, Kunzite, and all of the other
Queen's henchmen inprisoned in crystal inside the main engine of the Starship.)

Queen Berzel: When we get out of here, we're going to kill that Sailor Moon!

Jadeite: Hey, at least we got a cameo role.

Kunzite: You know, I wonder if the author and I are related...

Berzel & Jadeite: Shut up!

(Back at the Borg ship, Sailor Moon laughs, and laughs hard.)

Sailor Moon: Good, then it's time to...(Kasumi comes in, with come cookies.)
Cookies! (She devours the cookies in such a way that would even make Cookie
Monster sick.)

Kasumi: Oh, my! You mustn't eat like that!

Sailor Moon: Why not? It's an anime hero's tradition.

Sailor Venus: But you're on the evil side, Usagi.

Sailor Moon (screaming at Venus): How many times do I have to tell you, DON'T
CALL ME USAGI EVER AGAIN! (Venus falls over. Moon smiles back at Kasumi.) So, do
you have any last request before we assimulate you?

Kasumi: I'll tell you what, if you let my friends go without being assimulated,
then I'll bake you two more batches of cookies.

Sailor Venus (starting to get up): Chocolate chip?

Kasumi: If you like, although I have oatmeal raisin cooking in the oven.

Sailor Venus: Oatmeal raisin? I love oatmeal raisin cookies! We'll do that!

(Meanwhile, back at the lab of Dr. Artemis and Nurse Luna, Artemis and Luna are
sleeping.)

Luna (jerks up): W-wwhat? (She looks at a wall clock.) Oh, no! We've overslept!

Artemis! Wake up! We've overslept!

Artemis (mumbling): I don't know...I mean I've never done El-Hazard
before...(Luna whaps Artemis.) W-w-what?!

Luna: Artemis, we've overslept. The chemical bathing should be done!

Artemis: H-h-huh? What? (Luna gives Artemis that look.) Ranma! Oh, no!

(The two cats run into the lab, and run to the controls. Luna looks through a
view-finder.)

Luna: Oh, oh.

Artemis: What's the matter? (He pushes a button, and a green tub starts to
drain.) What's wrong?

Luna: Well, there's a slight side-effect of the chemical solution you created.
(Ranma-chan, as we know and love, appears.) He's not afraid of cats anymore, but
he's now a girl. (Artemis and Luna jump on the girl. She wakes, and
starts to scream.) Then again...(Then, they transport onto the Starship.)
********************************************
Will The Sailor Senshi Borgs continue their evil ways? Would you like to be
called the "best two-out-of-three" child? Did Nabiki sell her soul to become a
Captain? Has the cats solved Ranma's auilophobic problem or worsened it? Would
you like to have blue hair? Will Dr. Tofu cure Ryouga disfunctional sense of
direction? Or will the anal probe blow up into a cabbit wielding spaceship? Tune
in to find out the answers to these and other such silly questions next
time...that is if there is a next time...