This is the first chapter of a sequel to my earlier fanfic, Crossed
Wires.  You should read that first if you want to understand and enjoy
this story.  Crossed Wires can be found at
http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/towers/1030/cwires/cw.html.  Thanks go to
David Johnston and Kaneda Saotome for prereading.  Any and all comments
are welcome.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or any of the ideas associated with
it.  Rumiko Takihashi and Shogakukan, Inc do.  Rights in North belong to
Viz Communications.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1: I Feel Like a New Person

  Monday morning, Ranma and Akane were walking to school side by side,
with Ryoga trailing slightly behind.

     "Will you stop moping, Ranma?  You should be happy that you can go
to school as a guy again," Akane's voice was acquiring an edge of
irritation.

     "I am happy.  I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to explain
things to everyone at school."

     "I don't think you need to worry about that.  Nabiki left for
school early today,"  Ryoga interjected.

     "Great.  That's just what-"  A wave of cool water inundated Ranma,
cutting off his complaint.

     "Fear not, my beloved Ranma.  I shall liberate you."  Ever since
Ukyo had told him of Ranma's curse, Kuno had struggled to find a way to
confirm his interpretation of it.  He finally had his chance.

     Ranma was just about to beat the tall kendoist into
unconsciousness, when two things occurred to her.  "You used my name.
And you splashed me with cold water.  Who are you and what have you done
with the real Kuno?"

     "I am unchanged, save that mine eyes are no longer deceived by the
enchantment which hides your true visage."

     "What are you talking about?  I'm a guy."  Ranma was starting to
realized where Kuno's strange behavior was leading and she didn't like
it.

     Kuno drew his bokken and pointed it at Ryoga.  "Sorcerer, I
challenge you.  Should I win, you will free Ranma from her curse."

     "Oh no you don't," Ranma said, seeing that Ryoga was preparing to
fight.

     "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!"  After Kuno fell to the ground
unconscious, Ranma turned on Ryoga.  "I don't need anyone fighting my
battles for me."

    "It's just Kuno.  You could have beaten him up later."

=====================

      Later that day, Ranma was smiling as he prepared to leave school.
No one had commented on him changing back after he arrived at school and
no one had asked any embarrassing questions.  It seemed as if the whole
school was ready to forget the last couple of weeks had happened.  That
was fine as far as he was concerned.

      "Ranma, wait up."

      "Sure, Ak- Sayuri."  Ranma was faintly surprised.  He got along
well enough with most of Akane's friends, but he seldom talked to any of
them either.  "What do you want?"

      "I just wanted to ask you if it's true that you were just
pretending to be a girl because of your mother ."

      Ranma gaped dumbfounded for a moment and then his mind made a
connection.  "Nabiki told you that?"

      "Not in so many words.  She mentioned the promise your father made
and that your mother had just found out about the curse."

     Ranma was beyond surprised.  Usually, Nabiki could get him into
trouble even telling the truth.  "You're right.  Now that she's found
out
I don't have to worry anymore "

     "So, this means that Ryoga isn't seeing anyone."

     "Well, no.  I thought you were going with Hiroshi though."

     A blush colored Sayuri's cheeks.  "I am.  It was some of the other
girls that wanted to know.  Um, I really should be going now."

     When Sayuri turned to go, Ranma sighed in relief.  "Hmm.  That went
better than I thought it would."

====================

     With the situation at school stable, if nothing else, Ranma decided
to take care of some other business.  Namely, investigating the
relationship between Ukyo and Shampoo.  Somehow, despite all the
evidence he had a feeling that things weren't quite as they seemed.  For
that reason, among others, the greeting he received when he entered
Ucchan's surprised him.

     "Welcome to Ucchan's Okonomiyaki shop.  Can Shampoo help you?"

     "Shampoo, what are you doing here?"

     "Shampoo work here now.  Nekohanten closed while Great-grandmother
in China."

     "The old ghoul's in China?  I suppose it doesn't matter.  I'm here
to talk to Ukyo anyway."

     Shampoo's face twisted as if she'd tasted something sour.  However
she quickly  recovered her composure.  "Of course, airen can talk to
other airen.  Shampoo not mind at all."

     "Hey, that's great, Shampoo."  Ranma brushed past the amazon
oblivious to the look that she directed at his back.

     Ranma strolled up to the counter and greeted the chef behind it.
"How are you doing, Ucchan?"

     "Just fine, Ranchan.  Why do you ask?"

     "I couldn't help noticing that you and Shampoo have been getting
along better lately.  You've been doing a lot of things together."

     "I don't know about that."  This line of question was starting to
make Ukyo nervous.  It was something she preferred not to think about,
let alone discuss.  She decided to get it over with quickly.  "The whole
engagement thing is one of those crazy laws.  I have no intention of
going through with it."

     "Really?  That's sort of a surprise."

     "Well, if you're interested, I could at least consider it."

     "No!  I mean, I just thought that Shampoo would be your type."

     Ukyo's fists clenched and she leaned towards Ranma.  "I am not a
lesbian."  Ukyo's voice was low, but it had acquired a dangerous
flatness.

      "You seemed to enjoy that kiss a lot," Ranma said dubiously.

      "I don't care whether you're a boy or a girl.  I still feel the
same way about you."
      Ranma considered this for a moment.  "So, you're saying that
you're bi?" he guessed.

      "I give up."

      Ranma waited for a moment, but when Ukyo's only further response
was to rest her head on the counter he got up and left.

      As he prepared to exit, Ranma noticed that Shampoo had hung the
closed sign in the window.  "Isn't it a bit early to be shutting down?"

     "Shampoo and Ukyo go to new Italian place for supper."

     "You mean Mario's?"

     "Yes, that name."

     "Um, that's nice."  Ranma left without further comment.

====================

     "Shampoo and Ukyo are going on a date?"  Ryoga's voice was just
short of outright disbelief.  "I didn't think that Shampoo was like
that."

     "Ukyo says that there isn't anything between them, but I want to
find out for sure."

     "So what are you going to do, follow them around all night?"

     "Yes.  We'll need disguises first though."

     "What do you mean we?  There's no way I'm getting involved in
another of
your crazy plans."

     "Nothings going to go wrong this time.  Besides, don't you want to
find out what's happening?"

     "Not that badly.  There's nothing you can say to convince me."
Ryoga crossed his arms defiantly, resolve shining clearly on his face."

     "Well if that's the way you feel there's nothing I can do about
it."  Ranma's shoulders slumped in mock dejection.  "I guess I'll just
have to ask Akane."

====================

      "So, what do you think?"

      Ranma examined Ryoga closely.  His usually unruly hair had been
neatly combed and gel applied to hold it in place.  A similar change had
taken place with his clothing , Ryoga was wearing a white shirt and
black dress pants.  He'd even surrendered his bandanas with minimal
resistance.

      "Not bad.  You just need one more thing.  Here, put these on."

      "Sunglasses?"  Ryoga took the offered item dubiously.  "I feel
silly."

      "You look fine.  Now to complete my disguise."

      As usual, Ranma's disguise consisted of cold water and feminine
attire, in this case a short black dress.  As far as she was concerned,
the addition of a brown wig made her disguise foolproof.

     "Well, how do I look, Ryoga?"

     "Great."  Realizing what he'd said, Ryoga continued hastily, "But I
don't think we'll fool anyone."

     "Don't worry.  I always managed to fool you, right?"

     Ryoga looked unconvinced, but there wasn't really anyway that he
could argue with that.  "Okay.  Let's get this over with."

===================

     "Ranma, I think that you and Kasumi should go out for supper
tonight," Nodoka called up the stairs.  She certainly didn't mind that
several girls were chasing her son, but she did have preferences.  What
Ranma needed was a nice, traditional girl.

     "Sorry, Mom.  I've already made plans for tonight."

     Nodoka blinked as her child descended the stairs, with Ryoga by her
side.  "If you say so, dear," she said, weakly.  This business of having
both a son and a daughter was going to take more getting used to than
she'd thought.  "Be sure to bring her back home early, Ryoga."

     The lost boy's expression was torn between horror and amusement,
but he managed to reply.  "Don't worry.  Nothing's going to happen
tonight."

====================

     "This place looks familiar."  Ryoga searched his mind trying to
remember when he'd seen the building before, and what he'd been doing.
As was so often the case, he didn't have much luck.

    "We've eaten here before.  Now be quiet.  Ukyo and Shampoo are just
a couple of tables over.  I want to try to hear what they're saying"

    Ukyo looked up from the menu she was holding, despair on her face.
"I don't believe this.  They've got great atmosphere, service and
prices.  No wonder I'm losing business to them."

     "Shampoo think maybe they have accident and have to close."

     Ukyo struggled with temptation for a moment, but finally shook her
head.  "I couldn't do anything like that."

     "You no have to.  Look to left."

     Ukyo glanced over and then quickly performed a double take.
"That's Ranma and Ryoga, isn't it?" she hissed.  When Shampoo nodded, a
speculative look crossed Ukyo's face.  "I wonder what they're doing
here.  Ranma does look pretty good in that dress though."

     "Shampoo should have made antidote stronger."

     Ukyo and Shampoo weren't the only people who were surprised by the
clientele that night.

     "Hiroshi, isn't that Ukyo and Shampoo over there?"  Sayuri asked
her date.  "And isn't that Ryoga and Ranma beside them?"

     Hiroshi briefly stopped worrying about the prices on the menu to
look around.  "I think you're right."  When he realized what that meant,
he frowned.  "Maybe we should leave now."

     "Hiroshi, we aren't in any danger.  None of them even know we're
here.  Besides, I want to see what happens."

     "I want to see what happens too.  From a safe distance that is."
Seeing that Sayuri had no intention of leaving, Hiroshi sank back into
his seat.  "I just hope we don't regret this."

     "Now that I've thought things over, you're probably right."  Sayuri
casually gestured towards the latest person to enter the restaurant.     

     "Ranma,  this time I will have my revenge."  Many patrons of the
restaurant were barely able to stifle their laughter when they saw the
diminutive figure that made the threat.  Even standing on one of the
tables, he didn't reach five feet in height.  More experienced residents
of Nerima, those that recognized Happosai, began filing out of the
dining establishment.  

     Ranma wasn't one of them.  She faced Happosai with a confident
sneer.  "What're you gonna do, letch?"

     "Hotcha!"  Without seeming to pass through the space between them,
Happosai was suddenly attached to Ranma's chest.

     "Leggo of me, you freak!"  Prying Happosai loose, Ranma smashed him
into the wall.

     "Too late, Ranma!  I've finally achieved my greatest ambition."

     "What are you- oh."  Ranma noticed the pair of objects that
Happosai was holding and realized what he'd done.

     "Pervert! Give me back my underwear."  Ranma was red faced with
rage and embarrassment, as Ryoga along with Ukyo and Shampoo stepped
forward to join her in confronting Happosai.

     "You're going to gang up on a poor old man who only wants to enjoy
his few remaining years?  Then it's lucky I brought this."  Happosai
produced a crude sculpture formed of black rock and consisting of two
vaguely humanoid figures standing back to back.

      Upon seeing the sculpture, Shampoo swiftly dove to one side, while
the other three chose to charge Happosai.

      "Anything Goes Secret Technique: Ghostly Spirit Switch!"

      At Happosai's words a cloud of pink smoke shot through with
streaks of purple poured out of the statue and enveloped the martial
artists charging him.  When the cloud dissipated he saw the three lying
unconscious on the floor.

      "What a piece of junk.  It was supposed to switch Ranma and I."
The elderly pervert angrily tossed the figurine to the floor.
Happosai's mood changed for the better when he saw one of the figures
stagger to its feet.  "Come to Happi, darling."

      Ryoga had been as disoriented as either of the others by
Happosai's magical assault.  The main difference was that he was used to
disorientation.  Still, he was shocked to discover two things.  First,
he now had breasts.  Secondly, Happosai was groping them.  Ryoga's
reaction was both understandable and extreme.

      "Perfect Shi Shi Hokodan!"  A brilliant green column of energy
enveloped Ryoga and erupted upwards, through the roof of the
restaurant.  The fifteen meter ball of heavy ki that crashed back to
earth seconds later leveled most of the building along with Happosai.
Ryoga remained standing for a second afterwards, but then collapsed from
shock and fatigue.

     There was only one remaining observer.  "Shampoo really wish
Great-grandmother here."

=====================

     Ranma fought to open his eyes.  Not only was there something
subtly different about his body, it felt like a small mountain had
fallen on him.

     "Ryoga, are you all right?"

     "Not Ryoga.  I'm Ranma," he mumbled.

     "Oh dear.  It looks like Shampoo was right."

     Disturbed, Ranma opened his eyes to see Kasumi looking down at
him.  "What do you mean?"

     "Shampoo carried the three of you here.  She said that Happosai had
used some sort of ancient amazon artifact on you."

     Genma leaned into Ranma's field of view.  "According to her, Ryoga
is in Ukyo's body.  He's not awake yet, but he used a Perfect Shi Shi
Hokodan before he passed out."

      Ranma puzzled over things and reached a tentative conclusion.
"You're saying that Happosai somehow switched our bodies so that I'm in
Ryoga's, Ryoga's in Ukyo's and-"

      "Agh!  What am I wearing?"  The almost hysterical shriek
overwhelmed Ranma's words momentarily.
      "-Ukyo must be in mine."

      It should be noted that the dress Ranma had been wearing was one
of Nabiki's selections.  As a result it had been intended to embarrass
Ranma and was far shorter, tighter and lower cut than anything Ukyo had
worn in recent memory

     "I can explain, Ucchan."

     "I heard.  I have trouble believing it, but I heard.  Is it just
me or is it drafty in here?"

     "Oh, that.  Happosai sort of-"

     "I'm going to go change."

===================

     Ukyo was looking through Ranma's clothes and not liking what she
found.  She'd expected several nearly identical Chinese outfits and
she'd found them.  However, she knew that Ranma had some girl's clothes
and she'd been hoping she could wear some of them.  There were two
things that surprised her.  Over two thirds of Ranma's dresser and
closet seemed to be devoted to female attire.  More shocking was the
type of clothes, tight jeans, mini-skirts, very short shorts and shirts
that Ukyo was sure she could see through.  There were a couple of
dresses that looked more Akane's style, but what she already had on
seemed to be one of the more conservative outfits.  The less said about
the lingerie the better.

     After searching for several minutes, Ukyo finally found the sort of
clothing she'd envisioned, a set of Ranma's Chinese clothes that were
sized to fit a girl.  Ukyo set aside her questions about the other
clothes and quickly changed.

===================

     When Ukyo descended the stairs, she noted that the Tendo and
Saotome families, along with Ryoga and Shampoo were apparently waiting
for her.

     "Ah good.  Have a seat, Ukyo.  Shampoo was just about to explain
what happened."  The Tendo patriarch seemed to be taking maters in
stride.  He'd probably gotten things out of his system early.

     As she sat, Ukyo examined the others in the room.  The only person
who really seemed to be affected was Ryoga.  It was even easy to
overlook the fact that Ranma literally wasn't himself.  Except for
facial features and a slightly heavier build he hadn't changed much.  In
contrast, Ryoga radiated such a palpable air of depression that it
seemed
to darken the corner of the room she was sitting in.  It might have been
Ukyo's imagination, but she hoped she hadn't looked that haggard to
other people.

     "So what do you have to say, Shampoo?"

    "Happosai use ancient treasure of Amazon people.  Called Token of
Ages."  Shampoo gently set the strange double statue on the floor in
front her.

    "If you have it, then you should be able to fix things."

    "You'd think so, wouldn't you?"  Ukyo had to hold back a shudder.
Hearing someone else speak in her voice was bad enough without the air
of sadness Ryoga seemed to infuse it with.

     "Shampoo already try, but not know how.  Nothing happen.
Great-grandmother fix when she get back."

     "The old ghoul will already know that Happosai stole it, so she
should be back soon.  I say we don't tell anyone about this."

     "Sounds good to me, Ranchan.  Say Ryoga, is anything wrong?  You
seem awfully depressed.  Even considering the change."

     "I'm just tired.  Usually I don't pass out after a ki blast.  It's
probably because your body doesn't have the conditioning mine does."

     "There's nothing wrong with my body, you jackass!"

     "I'm sure he didn't mean it that way.  Everyone's just a bit tired
and on edge.  I think we'll all feel better in the morning," Nodoka
said.

     Ukyo shrugged.  There was nothing wrong with her, but Ryoga
probably was under a lot of pressure.  "I suppose so."

     "Good.  I think you should stay here tonight.  Shampoo wants to see
if Cologne's books have any information about this, but you are in my
daughter's er son's body."

     "I'd be happy to stay, Mrs. Saotome.  What about Ryoga though?  He
has my body."

     "I suppose you should get some of your clothes.  I don't think he's
ready to dress like a girl."

    Ukyo looked at the ex-lost boy who was too busy brooding to pay
attention.  "You're probably right."

     After that the conversation turned towards sleeping arrangement.
Shampoo had left for the Nekohanten and Genma had dragged Ranma out to
the dojo to see how a new body affected his skill.  Ukyo was pushing to
stay in the same room as Ranma, but it didn't look like that was going
to happen.  Nabiki had spent the evening lost in her own thoughts.
There had to be a way to make a profit out of this situation.  If
nothing else, she could finally get those pictures of Ukyo that Kuno
wanted.

End Chapter 1