Ranma 1/2 is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, oh, so is Urusei Yatsura.


Juxtaposition
------------------
By: Anand Rao


Chapter Four: The Fit Hit the Shan
-----------------------------------


"P-Chan! Where are you, baby?"  After Ryoga had left, Akane renewed the 
search for her often-missing pet.  She had checked the kitchen, the living 
room, the restroom, the backyard, and even the dojo.  (I hope he's not lost 
again,) she sighed resignedly.  "I'll check upstairs one more time. . ."

The front door opened and slammed shut, admitting Ataru into the house.  
"I'm home!" he wearily called out.

Akane sighed and decided to ignore him for the rest of the evening.  She was 
about to walk back to her room when Ataru walked into the living room.  
Akane spared him an annoyed glance, but burst out laughing when she saw him. 
  "W-what are you doing in -that-?"

"This?  It's a little drafty I suppose, and the colors don't suit me at all. 
. . but I really didn't have much of a choice."  Ataru was wearing a high 
school uniform; from St. Hebereke, if Akane had remembered the colors 
correctly.  The blouse covered his chest easily, but showed a bit of his 
stomach.  The skirt just managed to flow a little past his knobby knees.

Akane's laughter slowed to a chuckle.  "Where did you get it?"

"A pretty girl in a leotard tossed it away while prancing around and 
spreading flower petals everywhere."  Ataru paused then shrugged.  "I was 
going to ask for her phone number, but she had this really scary laugh."

"Oh, that's Kodachi; she'd be perfect for you, Ataru."

"Oh, forget about her!" Ataru said.  "How about we discuss -our- date?"

"Not now, Ataru," Akane sighed.  "I don't have time for your games.  I need 
to find P-Chan."

"I think the Fanged Monster ate him, Akane-chan."

Akane rolled her eyes.  "There was no 'Fanged Monster', Ataru.  Honestly, 
you over react so easily!  That was just Ryoga."

"That's what it called itself. It had fangs and it glowed and-"

"Ryoga's not an 'it'!  He's a very good friend, and he would -never- hurt 
P-Chan!"

"Whatever you say, Akane-chan." Ataru shrugged.  "All I know is, P-Chan 
walked into the bathroom, jumped into the furo, and your 'friend' suddenly 
appeared; right in the spot where P-Chan jumped in."  Ataru walked past 
Akane and started up the stairs.

"Wait a minute!  P-Chan jumped in, and Ryoga came out?"

"Yup!"  Ataru turned towards Akane, noticed her puzzled expression, then 
continued up the stairs.

"How odd. . ," Akane muttered.  (Maybe they got lost together.)


			************************************

Ranma, Lum, and Benten sat in a small circle in the middle of Ranma's room.  
Mrs. Moroboshi had invited Benten to stay for dinner, and the biker had 
readily agreed.

"Maybe I can transfer to Darling's new school."

"That's a good idea, Lum! You can make sure that husband of yours doesn't 
stray too far."

"You can also help keep him alive," Ranma added.  "Furinkan can be pretty 
rough."

"Can't be worse than the jerks around here," Benten snorted.

"It's settled then.  Starting tomorrow, I'll go to Furinkan."  Lum nodded 
her head firmly.  "That still doesn't get me past the engagement problem 
though, does it, Ranma?"

"No, but we'll think of something. . .  I guess."

Benten smiled winsomely at Ranma.  "It really is nice of ya to help Lum out 
like this. . ."

"Ranma and I are in the same position right now, Benten.  We're both trying 
to get our fianc�s back."

The smile quickly vanished from Benten's face.  "You're engaged?"

"Er. . . not really, I mean, not anymore," Ranma faltered.

"But you -were- engaged; back when you thought Ataru's parents were really 
your parents. . ."

"Yeah. . ."

Benten casually picked up a cookie, willing her hand not to shake.  "So, did 
ya love her?  This girl you were engaged to. . ."

Ranma jerked forward.  "What? No!"

"Ranma!" Lum exclaimed.

"Well, I don't!" Ranma repeated.  "Besides, Akane doesn't care about me 
either."

"So, we just have to worry about getting Lum and Ataru back together."

"Right," Ranma replied.  "Man, it's gonna be tough getting around that 
family honor stuff though."

Lum bowed her head dejectedly.  "What am I going to do?"

"Heh.  It's kinda funny thinking about Ataru taking over the Tendo Dojo," 
Ranma mused, then suddenly sat up straight.  "That's it!"

"What?  You have an idea?"

"Yeah," Ranma grinned.  "Ataru's a Saotome now, and it's time to start 
treating him like one."


			************************************************

Ataru let out a peaceful snore as he flew through his bedroom window and 
landed in the koi pond.  He rose out of the water, coughing and sputtering.  
"Wh-what's going on?"

"Time for training, boy!"  Genma stood in Ataru's room, leaning out the 
window.  He grinned smugly at the sight of his now awake son.  "A martial 
artist must be prepared at all times."

"Otosan, not -this- again. . ," Ataru groaned.

"Quit complaining, Ataru!"  Genma hopped out of the window and landed near 
the pond in front of Ataru.  "We'll be sparring every morning, so you'd 
better get used to it."

"I don't want to be a martial artist."  Ataru crawled out of the pond and 
stared plaintively at Genma.

"You don't have a choice!"  Genma picked up Ataru by the front of his shirt, 
lifting him off his feet.  "You should be willing to sacrifice your life for 
the sake of the Art!"  He tossed Ataru across the yard.

Ataru landed on his face and skidded across the grass before coming to a 
complete stop.  "S-sacrifice. . . my. . . life?"  He managed to scramble to 
his feet as Genma charged towards him.

"Prepare yourself, boy!"

Ataru dodged a kick aimed for his head and wondered if even the beautiful 
fiancees were worth doing -this- every morning.


		***********************************************

Akane yawned and opened her bleary eyes as the sounds of pitiful screaming 
cut through her sleep.  Tossing off her blankets, she stood up and stretched 
her arms widely.  She heard another scream, walked over to her window, and 
opened the curtains.  She smiled then giggled at what she saw.

Ataru was sprawled out, face down, on the ground, with Genma sitting on top 
of him.  The elder Saotome was attempting to attach a ball-and-chain to 
Ataru's ankle.  "What kind of weird training is this?  Let me go!"  Ataru 
struggled to stand, and, in fact, he struggled to breathe.  Genma had firmly 
placed his full weight on Ataru's back.

She quickly sobered as her thoughts returned to the previous day's 
discovery.  A profound sense of betrayal threatened to overwhelm her.  
(Ranma, how could you?)  Akane turned away from the window.  "I never should 
have gone to see him."

In a way, Akane envied Ranma.  She wished she could move on with her life as 
easily as he could.  She wished she could forget about him, the way he 
seemed to have forgotten about her.  "Oh, Ranma. . ."  Akane took a deep 
breath and left her room, prepared to face another day alone.


		******************************************

Ranma entered through the front gates of the Tendo home and smiled at what 
he saw.  "Glad to see that you have such a willing student, Old Man."  He 
walked closer to Genma and Ataru who were still struggling on the ground.

"Ranma!  I'm so glad you're here!" Genma explained.  "You can explain to 
this ingrate son of mine what a useful training method this is!"

"Oh sure, the ball and chain technique is great; along with the pit of cats, 
a cursed spring or two, fighting off a swarm of angry bees, food-stealing.  
Yeah, it's all great training!"  Ranma grinned wickedly at the look on 
Ataru's face.

"What kind of training is that?"  Ataru finally managed to wriggle out from 
under Genma.  Taking several deep breaths, he stood up and glared at Ranma, 
then at Genma.  "You guys are nuts!  It's all that training, I think it 
damages the brain!"

Ranma looked at Genma and pointed disdainfully in Ataru's direction.  "THIS 
is going to carry on the tradition of Anything Goes?"

"He's easily as fast as you, Ranma.  He just needs to get used to training, 
that's all."

"Yeah, right!"  Ranma turned towards Ataru.  "I challenge you to a fight!  
You don't have the right to call yourself the Heir to our Art."

"A fight?  Don't be stupid.  Why would I want to fight some emptied-headed 
jock for?"

Ranma gritted his teeth and tried to keep a hold on his temper.  "You're 
refusing to accept my challenge?"

"You got it."  Ataru nodded his head firmly.  "I'll see if I can find the 
Fanged Monster, though.  I'm sure he'd be willing to fight you."

"Accept the challenge," Genma said coldly.

"What? No way!"

"Accept the challenge!" Genma yelled.  "Your honor is at stake here, Ataru.  
You will fight Ranma, or. . . "

"Or?"

"Or you won't be allowed to date Akane, Nabiki, or Kasumi!" Genma looked 
triumphant as he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his son.

"B-b-but, Otosan!"

"No excuses!" Genma bellowed. "I will not raise a son who refuses to follow 
the basic tenets of our School.  You -never- back down from a challenge."

Ataru sat on the grounded and pouted stubbornly.  "What do I get if I win?"

"Uh. . . what do ya want?"  Ranma's tone was curious.  He had expected Ataru 
to back down completely.  Ranma's plan was simple.  He was going to expose 
Ataru as a coward and hopefully alienate him from his parents and every 
martial artist in Nerima.

After that, the only person he'd be able to turn to would be Lum, who would 
be conveniently attending Furinkan high school with him.

"Let's see. . ."  Ataru scratched his chin and stared up at the sky.  Ranma 
and Genma waited impatiently for Ataru to come to a decision.

"Hurry it up already!" Ranma exclaimed after a few minutes.

Ataru snapped his fingers and smiled brightly.  "I got it!"  He turned 
towards Ranma, his smile turning somewhat sly.  "According to some people at 
school, you're connected to a beautiful pig-tailed girl.  Kuno even called 
her a goddess!"

Ranma's blood turned cold and he felt a slight shiver run up his spine.  
"What about her?"

"If I win, you set me up on a date with her."

"What?  Forget it!" Ranma shuddered.  "There's no way she'd go out with 
you."

"She would if you asked her, wouldn't she, Ranma?" Genma asked.  The elder 
Saotome let out a hearty laugh.

"Stay outta this, old man!" Ranma spat.

"Scared that you might lose, Ranma?" Genma taunted.

"I never lose."  Ranma glared at Genma.  "And there's no way I'm gonna lose 
to a guy like him!"  In a sudden flash of inspiration, Ranma turned back 
towards Ataru and said, "You got a deal.  But if I win, then ya marry Lum."

"What?!"  Ataru backed away from Ranma.  "What does she have to do with any 
of this?"

Ranma ignored the question.  "Well, still up to the challenge?  To be a true 
martial artist, Ataru, you gotta be willing to put -everything- on the 
line."

"He accepts," Genma interjected.  "Be ready for that date, Ranma."

"Yeah, right."  Ranma nodded his head stiffly then stalked out of the front 
yard.  As he left the dojo, he grinned darkly.  (That was almost too easy.  
You'll be happily married before you know it, Ataru.)


			******************************************

After Ranma had left, Genma lifted Ataru to his feet and patted him firmly 
on the shoulder.  "I'm proud of you, boy!  Never turn down a challenge."

"What are you talking about?  I don't want to marry Lum!"

Genma shrugged his shoulders.  "Then don't."

"Is Ranma any good at martial arts?" Ataru asked suspiciously.

"He's one of the best," Genma admitted.  "I trained him."

"So will I be able to beat him?"

"Probably not on your first few tries. . ."

"First. . . few. . . tries?" Ataru asked faintly.  He grabbed the front of 
Genma's gi.  "I don't even want to fight him once!  He'll defeat me, then 
Lum'll come around with her electricity, and I haven't gotten a chance to 
kiss Akane or Nabiki or Kasumi or Ukyo or Yuka or. . ."

"Settle down, boy!"  Genma snapped.  "You won't have to marry the Oni girl.  
Our clan's honor demands that you marry a Tendo, and that's what you're 
going to do."

"What about the deal I just made with Ranma?"

"It's irrelevant.  Family honor takes precedence," Genma replied firmly.  
"Besides, when you lose, you just challenge him to a rematch."

Ataru decided to ignore the part about the rematch and let go of Genma.  
"Let me see if I get this straight. . . if I win, he has go along with the 
deal, but he wins, I don't?"

"Exactly."

"And he'll set up the date for me?" Ataru insisted.

"Yes.  Ranma is a man of his word."  Genma sighed proudly.  "I raised that 
boy right."

Ataru smiled then started laughing.  "I think I'm going to like this family 
honor stuff."


			***************************************

Lum excitedly latched onto Ranma's arm as soon as he entered the house.  
"So, how did it go?  Did Darling back down?"

"Not. . . exactly."

"What happened?  He accepted your challenge?"  Lum would not have been 
surprised if Ataru had.  If a pretty girl was involved, her Darling could be 
remarkably brave.

"Well, we sorta made a bet.  He accepted the challenge, and if I win, he'll 
marry ya."

Lum was elated.  "Really?  That's great!"  Suddenly, she let got of Ranma's 
arm and frowned suspiciously.  "What does he get if he wins?"

"Uh. . . he gets to go on a date.  With me."

"Darling. . . wants to date a. . . boy?"  Lum looked very confused, and a 
little worried.

"What? No no no. . .  it's not like that!" Ranma hastily replied.  "I'm 
cursed, remember? Someone at Furinkan told him about my girl-side, and now 
he wants to date 'her'.  He doesn't know that it's really me."

"I. . . see.  Well, I guess that's not too bad.  Are you sure you'll win?"

"Ha!  No problem, Lum, I never lose," Ranma assured her.

"I'm sure you're very good, Ranma," Lum began uncertainly, "but Darling is 
really quick, and he becomes really sneaky when he's motivated and-"

"Don't worry!" Ranma snapped.  He was feeling a bit irate.  "If it's martial 
arts, I. Don't. Lose."

"Okay, Ranma.  I'll leave it to you then, just. . . don't hurt Darling too 
much, okay?"

"I'll just smack him around a bit, he'll be fine."

"Er. . . right.  I need to get ready for school, I don't want to be late for 
my first day at Furinkan."  Lum smiled winsomely at Ranma and flew off.

"You're a lucky guy, Ataru.  I hope you wise up soon," Ranma muttered.  He 
walked upstairs to his room and changed into his school uniform.  (Jeez, I'm 
never gonna get used to this thing.)  Giving a firm tug to the shirt collar, 
Ranma left his room.  He was headed out the front door when someone called 
his name.

"Yo, Ranma, where ya headed?"

"Hey, Benten.  I'm just going to school."

"Um, right. . . That's why you're wearing your uniform," Benten laughed 
shyly.

"Uh, yeah. . . Anyway, I'll see ya later, don't wanna be late, ya know?"

"Wait!" Benten screamed as Ranma was turning away from her.

Ranma jerked back and turned towards Benten, his eyes full of concern.  
"What?"

"W-what are you doing after school?"  Benten forced her voice to sound 
casual.

"Huh?"

"Today, after school. . . do you got any plans?" Benten clarified.

"I'm probably gonna work out or something, then talk to Lum about how things 
went today."

"That's so dull!  Why don't we go -out- and do something?"

Ranma blinked.  "What did ya want to do?  We could go out an' eat, I guess.  
I haven't tried any of the restaurants in Tomobiki yet."

Benten's eyes lit up.  "Dinner would be great!"  In her mind, she pictured a 
large romantic dinner for two, followed by a scenic and leisurely walk 
through Tomobiki, as the two of them shot and blew up any and all idiots in 
sight.

Maybe she'd let him use her gun.

Maybe he'd let her use his. . . if he had one, that is.

"Fine, when Lum comes back, we'll all go to dinner and talk then.  See ya!"

As Benten's dream shattered all around her, Ranma left for school.


			**********************************************

Ataru giggled maniacally and softly as he stared at the pictures on his 
desk.  Nabiki had charged him 1000 yen for each of the three pictures, but 
they were worth the price.  -Now- he knew what he was fighting for.  The 
photos of the oh-so-delicious looking pig-tailed girl provided him with more 
motivation than any of his father's speeches on the Art or family honor.

He giggled again, and the girls in class slowly inched their desks away from 
him.  (I got to admit, that Kuno guy has -good- taste.)  The pigtailed girl 
was indeed a goddess, Ataru decided.  She was so cute, and according to the 
pictures, a bit uninhibited as well.  She had a well-toned body with 
-perfect- muscle definition.   She also had a really large bust, especially 
for her small body frame.

Ataru was in lust.

"I will win.  I can!  For her, I can do anything!"  Ataru suddenly stood, 
raising his right fist to his chest dramatically.

"Saotome-kun, sit down.  We are about to start class."  Little Hinako glared 
in his direction.

"Hai, hai. . ."  Ataru nodded his head absently and continued staring at the 
pictures.

"Okay, class!  We have a new transfer student here today!"  Little Hinako 
grinned excitedly.  The students began chattering at once.

"Another one?"

"Hope this one's a girl. . ."

"Whoever it is, I just hope they don't do martial arts."  The rest of the 
class nodded their heads in agreement.

"Class, please welcome Lum, from the planet Oni."  The classroom door opened 
and Lum floated in, landing gently in front of Hinako's desk.

The pictures fell from Ataru's shaking hands as he stared at Lum, his mouth 
gaping open in shock.

"L-L-L-L-Lum!"

"Hello, Darling.  Did you miss me?"  The Oni grinned coyly.

Ataru leaped out of his desk and hurriedly backed away.  "What are you doing 
here?" he demanded.

"I thought it would be a good idea to keep an eye on you, Darling.  So I 
transferred schools," Lum explained.  She rose in the air once more and 
floated towards Ataru.

"W-we're not engaged anymore!"  Ataru gulped nervously then glared at Lum.  
"My mother won't let me marry you, remember?  It's a matter of honor!"  A 
confident smirk grew on his face.  Sure, she might electrocute him, but she 
couldn't stop his girl hunts.  He was free of her, completely free.

Lum's grin widened as she landed in front of Ataru.  "That's true," she 
admitted.  The oni gently traced a finger along Ataru's jaw and leaned 
towards him, their lips nearly touching.  "But Darling, your mother isn't 
here."

Ataru looked over Lum's shoulder at Hinako, wondering why she had not 
blasted Lum as a 'delinquent' yet.  He was astonished to see little Hinako 
sprawled out on her desk, fast asleep.  (No help there.)  He quickly faced 
Lum once more.  "Why can't you just give up?"

"Give up?" Lum asked quietly.  "Give up!  After everything we've gone 
through, you expect me to give up?"  Lum wasn't being so quiet any more.  
"Never, Darling!  You -will- marry me!"  She grabbed hold of Ataru's neck 
and a surge of electricity coursed through her hands and straight into 
Ataru's helpless body.

For a brief moment, a wave of nostalgia washed over Ataru.  This was, of 
course, followed by intense pain.


				***********************************

Ranma entered his classroom and nervously ignored all the female smiles that 
were thrown in his direction.  He didn't have a problem being the center of 
attention, but the looks the girls were throwing him reminded him of certain 
unwanted fiancees.  He sat at his desk and relaxed, hoping that the boring 
school day would pass by quickly.  He then noticed that some of Lum's more 
vocal fans had entered the classroom. Ranma grinned when he saw Mendo.  
(That's the guy with the sword.  Heh.  This might be fun.)  He chuckled 
softly in anticipation.

"Moroboshi, do you know if Lum-san is coming to class today?" Mendo asked, 
walking up to Ranma's desk.

"Oh, she didn't tell you?   Lum transferred to Furinkan to keep an eye on 
Ataru."

"She WHAT?"

The rest of the class turned towards Ranma's desk and the four storm 
troopers jumped up and rushed towards him.

"She's gone?"

"She couldn't have transferred!"

"Lum-san!"

"Oh, how. . . how could she leave us?  Who in Furinkan will protect her from 
the evil of Ataru?"

"Geez. . . you guys gotta get a life!"  Ranma exclaimed in disgust.  The 
girls in class nodded their heads in agreement.

"Lum -is- our life!"  Megane shouted back.  "You're new here, Moroboshi, so 
maybe your ignorance can be excused."  Megane slammed his hands on Ranma's 
desk.  "However, you are familiar with Furinkan high school, are you not?  
You will help us get her back!"

Ranma slowly crossed his arms over his chest.  "And why would I wanna do 
that?"

"To save her from the evil of Ataru, of course!"

"Yes!  Now that Ataru is finally gone, Lum will realize that it's -me- she 
should love," Mendo proclaimed.

"Yeah, right.  That's why she didn't tell ya that she was leaving, huh?"

Mendo flushed angrily and drew is katana.  "Just what are you implying, 
Moroboshi?"

"That you're a loser."

Mendo's face turned bright red a vein protruded from his neck.  "You. . . 
you. . . Moroboshi!"  He swung the katana down, directly towards Ranma's 
head.

Ranma's left hand quickly went up and he caught the blade between his index 
and middle finger.  The girls gasped in surprise, their hearts in their 
eyes.

"What are you all goggling at?  Ataru used to catch Mendo's blade all the 
time!" Megane shouted.

"Sure, but Ranma does it with style," Shinobu retorted.

"Ya know, Mendo, I really should thank you."  Still holding the blade, Ranma 
cracked the knuckles of his right hand.

Mendo tried to pull back his sword, but it wouldn't budge.   "Thank me?  
What for?"

Ranma jumped straight up out of his desk and belted Mendo with a hard right 
jab.  The trillionaire would-be playboy flew back, bounced off the 
chalkboard, and landed on the floor.  His sword clattered harmless next to 
him.  Several female students rushed to check his condition.

"I needed an excuse to work off some stress," Ranma explained.  He turned 
towards the four storm troopers and grinned challengingly.  "Who's next?"

Megane stared at Mendo's prone form and began chuckling nervously.  "Perhaps 
we can discuss this at a later time, Moroboshi."  The other three storm 
troopers, clutching each other in fear, nodded their heads in vigorous 
agreement.

"Any time, Otaku No Lum."  Ranma sat back down at his desk and let out a 
deeply satisfied sigh.

One of the girls who was looking over Mendo let out a horrified gasp and 
turned a venomous glare towards Ranma.  "You damaged Mendo-sama's face!"

"Huh?"  Ranma was taken back by the girl's reaction.  He hadn't hit Mendo 
that hard.

"How could you!?"   Tears were starting to form in the girl's eyes.

"Hey, I just knocked him out!  He'll be fine!"

"But you damaged his beautiful face!  That. . . that's unforgivable!"

"It wasn't Ranma's fault," Shinobu blurted.  "Mendo did attack him, after 
all."

"Yeah, but he didn't have to hit his face!" Another girl replied.

"So what?  Ranma-sama's more handsome anyway," said another.

"He is not!  Mendo-sama is the greatest! "

"Mendo constantly betrays us!  He only has eyes for Lum; even now!  
Ranma-sama isn't interested in her.  We have a chance with him!"

"Uh. . . excuse me?"  Ranma definitely didn't like the direction this 
conversation was taking.

"You. . . you traitor!  How can you abandon Mendo-sama like that?"

"Ranma-sama!"

"MENDO-SAMA!"

"RANMA-SAMA!"

"MENDO-SAMA!"

By this time, all the girls had gotten involved.  Ranma buried his head in 
his hands and tried not to cry.  (Never thought I'd hear myself say this, 
but I -gotta- get back to Nerima. . .)


		*************************************

Lunch was the best time of the school day for an enterprising young lecher.  
One could request phone numbers, estimate measurements, perhaps get a quick 
kiss, and if one was really lucky, even cop a feel or two.  There were the 
convenient boundaries to consider as well.  The prey couldn't run very far, 
having to stay within the limits of the school grounds.  They were all out 
in the open, all at once, idly grazing, not even suspecting that they might 
be stalked.

Yes, lunch was a good time for an enterprising young lecher; and Ataru was 
more enterprising than most.   The Lunch Hour Girl Hunt was one of Ataru's 
favorite activities, along with the Before School Girl Hunt, the After 
School Girl Hunt, the Weekend Girl Hunt, and the 
Alien-Babes-Who-Drag-You-Into-Space Girl Hunt.  On this particular lunch 
hour, however, he was sitting under a tree, sulking, with a pretty oni girl 
latched onto his arm.

"It's really nice to meet the both of you!  I hope Darling hasn't been 
causing you too much trouble."  Lum squeezed Ataru's arm meaningfully.

"Oh, nothing we couldn't handle, Lum."  Ukyo laughed easily.  She smirked at 
Ataru's obvious discomfort and her faith in karma was renewed.

"Yeah, I have experience dealing with perverts."  Akane tried glaring at 
Ataru but her heart wasn't really in it.  -His- former fiancee wanted him 
back.  -His- former fiancee transferred schools and was willing to face any 
obstacles just to be near him.

"Well, don't worry, I'll keep him in line from now on," Lum cheerfully 
replied.

Ataru jerked his arm out of Lum's grasp.  "What gives you the right to do 
that!"

Lum grabbed hold of his arm again and promptly fried him.  "My love gives me 
the right.  Just accept it, Darling."  Ataru slumped back against the tree.

"That's a neat trick, Lum."

"Thanks, Ukyo!  I've found it useful on occasion."

"I bet!  Say, Lum. . . How's Ranma doing?  Does. . . he miss us?"

"He's probably happy to be gone. . . I bet he hated it here," Akane said 
bitterly.

"Things were kinda crazy," Ukyo admitted.  "Well, Lum?"

"Ranma seems to be adjusting, but I'm sure he misses all of his friends. Are 
the two of you close to him?"

"You could say that.  I'm Ranchan's cute fianc�e."  Ukyo pointed towards 
Akane.  "She's Ranchan's uncute fianc�e."  She smiled lightly at Akane's 
embarrassed glare.

"You're both engaged to Ranma?"  Lum looked back and forth between the two 
girls.  She was baffled, Ranma hadn't -seemed- to be a playboy.

"No!  They're both engaged to me!"  Ataru stood up and put one arm around 
Akane and the other around Ukyo.

"Darling!"  Ozone burnt as electricity danced around Lum's body.  She stood 
up and growled at Ataru, her fangs gleaming prominently.

Acting in unison, Akane and Ukyo shoved Ataru towards Lum.  The electrifying 
oni sent a bolt of Divine Retribution hurdling towards him.   Ataru twisted 
to the side and the lightning missed him by scant inches.  Akane and Ukyo 
dove out the way, wanting to get as far from the soon-to-be destructive pair 
as possible.

"Lunch is almost over, time for a Girl Hunt."  Ataru rubbed his hands 
together readily and ran away.  "Talk to you later, Lum!"

"Darling!  You come back here!"  The oni flew after him.  Ataru heard the 
sounds of many young women approaching, and headed off in their direction; 
the fact that the girls were screaming in indignant outrage didn't seem to 
phase him.

Electric blasts flew past, but he paid them no mind as the girls he was 
hunting came into view.    Ataru slowed to a halt as he realized the girls 
were actually chasing a diminutive old man who carried a large black sack 
over his shoulder.  The girls were all carrying brooms, rakes, baseball 
bats, and other assorted blunt instruments.  The old man bounced along 
happily, seemingly unaware of the girls behind him.  Ataru's eyes widened as 
he felt aura the old man radiated.


				************************************

Happosai was having a good day.  A productive morning spent in Furinkan's 
girls' locker room had yielded quite a haul.   Beyond the plethora of cotton 
panties he usually acquired, he had also found about a dozen silken 
beauties.  Some of those panties might even number among his special stock.  
The mother lode, however, was the tiger-striped bikini he had found.  It was 
of a rare and exotic quality, one he had encountered only once before.  He 
sincerely hoped to reintroduce himself to its owner.

It was about this time that he normally encountered Ranma, but his heir was 
nowhere in sight.  Happosai laughed sneakily.  "Looks like I'm going to get 
past that young ingrate today!"  He then noticed the young man standing in 
front of him, gaping in surprise.  "Just what I need!  A springboard!"  
Taking a closer look at the person in front of him, Happosai slowed to a 
sudden halt.  "This boy's aura. . ," he gasped.

The girls with missing undergarments crowed gleefully at their now still 
target.  Then they saw Ataru.   They shuddered in fear, turned around, and 
ran away screaming.

Lum grinned in feral delight and thanked whatever gods who had caused her 
Darling to stop running.  She readied a massive electrical bolt, and then 
she saw Happosai.  The proud Oni princess shuddered in fear, turned around, 
and flew away screaming.

The two remaining men, one young, one old, stood facing each other in 
complete silence.  A gentle breeze blew around them as their auras grew and 
touched.  Tears gently streamed down their eyes as realization flowed 
through them.  In each other they had discovered a kindred spirit.

The old man had found a true apprentice.  The aura of lechery shone like a 
star in the young one.  Untapped, raw potential; the purest Happosai had 
ever seen.  This one would surpass him, the master knew.

The young man found a renewed sense of hope.  For if one so old could be so 
perverted, then Ataru too could learn to maintain his sex drive 
indefinitely.  It would not die with the passage of time, and maybe, just 
maybe, his dream of a harem could become a reality.

The two men bowed to each other with the most profound respect, and women 
everywhere felt the chill of inevitable dread.  The Master of Perversion had 
met the Most Lecherous Being in the Universe. . . .

And things would never be the same again.

---------------------------------
End Chapter 4.

Notes:

Thanks to Gary Kleppe for prereading and keeping me honest. ^_^

This is still the funnest fic I've written, and I got a bunch of things 
planned for part 5+

As always, any form of C&C welcome.

Namaste,

Anand
---------------------------------


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