Subject: [FFML] [C&C] Review, May 14
From: David Johnston
Date: 5/14/1999, 2:49 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Routine Disclaimer:  Omission of a fic implies nothing concerning my
opinion of it.  

Subject: 
            [FFML] [CSY][Fanfic][KOR]Kimagure Soyokaze prequel 
       Date: 
            Thu, 13 May 1999 03:59:07 -0700 
       From: 
            TJ Hamilton <ryougaecho@abraxis.com>

Description:  Intro to a second generation KOR fic.

Comments:  Doesn't look too bad, but the author seems like they might be 
one of those people who doesn't have the writing speed to handle the 
project they've taken on.  After all, I've seen these prologues before, 
and there doesn't seem to be a full length chapter to go with them.  

Subject: 
        [FFML] [Ranma] NEW "A Little Earlier" part 5 
  Date: 
        Wed, 12 May 1999 17:05:36 -0400 
From: 
        Stephen Ratliff <sratliff@runet.edu>

Description:  Ranma and Akane go to the same school when they are 
twelve.  This time they discover that they are actually engaged.

Comments:  The marriage contract in the main continuity was between
Ranma and any of the Tendo daughters.  Apart from that quibble, 
this is getting kind of dull without any serious complications.
Everything is just going too smoothly.  

Subject: 
        [FFML] [Orig]It's a Rainy Day Sunshine Girl -- Episode 02 
  Date: 
        Wed, 12 May 1999 13:16:06 -0700 (PDT) 
  From: 
        Matt Johnston <matt2518@gladstone.uoregon.edu>

Description:  In the tradition of "Video Girl Ai", a student's muse
takes on three dimensional form to encourage him.   

Comments:  Quite good for a story of frustrated teen romance.

Subject: 
         [FFML][XO:R.5 & TM!][draft] The Chaos Chronicles, Chapter
         1 
    Date: 
         Wed, 12 May 1999 12:55:30 -0700 
    From: 
         JJ Corley <ronin_salsolo@geocities.com>

Description:  Ranma 'fesses up to his mother about the curse and she 
immediately declares him manly and offers to break the marriage contract 
by getting him adopted away from his father.  Then he severs the 
engagement to Shampoo with unbelievable and goes off with Ukyo to
be part of the Masaki family.

Comments:  Highly contrived, not very exciting and rife with spelling 
errors.  Many stories, even ones like "Hearts of Ice" have begun too 
soon, starting the story too far in advance of the action and I think 
this story is one of them.  The author would be better advised to just 
begin with Ranma's arrival at the Masakis' and forget most of this 
chapter, just leaving a brief flashback to the scene where he parts from 
Akane which was quite good.  

Oh, and the rationale for severing the relationship with Shampoo doesn't
work in the least.  The first time Ranma beat Shampoo, there was no 
accident about it.  It would be better if Shampoo and company had just 
decided to give up and go home if you don't like her and don't want to 
keep her. 

Subject: 
        [FFML][Fanfic][Ranma] American Vacation Chapter Two (new) 
  Date: 
        Wed, 12 May 1999 12:34:10 -0700 
  From: 
        Brian Payne <BrianP@nhspokane.com>

Description:  Having screwed up in the United States, Akane has gotten 
herself jailed, and Genma is on his way to the zoo.  

Comments:  Akane was phoning the hotel room.  Nabiki was at the hotel 
room.  Why didn't she get the call?  Surely she didn't rush out to
Genma's aid?  Incidentally, given that the author had Akane busting up 
pavement with Ranma in the first chapter, why would Ranma even wonder 
about his ability to break Genma free of the park bench?  

Subject: 
        [FFML][R1/2][FF][Alt] Nabiki and Ranma � Part 2 
  Date: 
        Wed, 12 May 1999 02:23:22 EDT 
  From: 
        MalaspinaM@aol.com

Description:  Ranma returns from his 10 year training trip with his 
fiancee, Nabiki.

Comments:  I have trouble believing that Genma would subject Nabiki to 
the Cat-Fist training.  That's his friend's daughter, not his own son.  
Also, Ranma would object vigorously to Nabiki telling the others about 
his fear of cats.  In fact, you have Nabiki telling us far too much 
about their history.  There's no need for exposition about Shampoo and
Mousse until Shampoo and Mousse show up.  

"All right Kasumi. I already told you all that Ranma and I beat the
village's best martial artists, Mousse and Shampoo, to prove we worth 

"were worth"

Subject: 
        [FFML][FANFIC][XOVER][Ranma 1/2/The King and I] Akane &
        I part 1 
  Date: 
        Tue, 11 May 1999 23:45:38 -0600 
  From: 
        "Tracy Garnett" <crikit@geocities.com>

Description:  After Genma commits seppuku, Nodoka takes her son/daughter
to a kingdom ruled by the Tendo dynasty where Nodoka, who suddenly 
becomes strangely inclined to sing, becomes the tutor
to the Tendo daughters, and Ranma's female guise is ordered to instruct
the youngest daughter in the grace and politeness that she so noticeably
lacks.  

Comments:  Surprisingly hard to describe.  

On the whole, I'd prefer it if the subject of seppuku was avoided and 
Ranma just left it at, "After Pop died, my mom decided...".  Really,
Suiren (very good pseudonym) should do something to impress with Soun 
with how graceful she is before Soun gets this brilliant idea, and the 
author should come up with some reason why Ranma would be in a dress.  

Princess Akane would probably have long hair.  

Subject: 
        [FFML][Ranma] Girl Days, part Six, section two 
  Date: 
        Tue, 11 May 1999 23:55:48 EDT 
  From: 
        Kenjiko2@aol.com

Description:  Ranma goes to the beach in a skimpy bikini.  Everyone else
shows up coincidentally, including <shudder> Happosai.  

Comments:  I agree.  Since Happosai has no problem draining Ranma in
female form he shouldn't have a problem with Ranma's lingerie.  It would
be far better to let Happy have a mishap with Konatsu's undies.  

Speaking of which...surely Konatsu would seem very flat-chested in a 
bathing suit.  

in one of the change booths that dotted the beach. She intended to
swim first, which mwant one of the one-pieces.  But which one?

"meant"

The mallet factory outlet was, by the way, an inspired moment.  

Subject: 
        [FFML][Ranma][Islands Underwater pt. 1] 
  Date: 
        Tue, 11 May 1999 15:20:19 -0700 
  From: 
        Prince Frog <starfrog@pacbell.net>

Description:  Kuno wakes up, takes a good at himself, doesn't like what
he sees, and pretends he doesn't see it.  

Comments:  Exceptional.  If the rest of the fic is this good, I look 
forward to it.