====================
PART XIV
Never fear (much)
The Hyperdolls are here!!
====================

Maika and Miyu decided they'd waited long enough. "She's alone now.
Go, Akai!" Miyu hissed, shoving him out from behind the bush they were
hiding in.
Akai advanced on Ryoga-chan with a lot more than just a little
reluctance. The only thing that stopped him running away was the fact
that the Hyperdolls scared him more than the thought that she _might_
be a bloodthirsty alien monster. "Uh ... hi," he said, trying to sound
calmer than he felt.
Ryoga-chan turned around. "Hello?" 
Akai scuffed his feet against the floor. "Um ..." *Think, Akai! Think
of something to say!*  He was hit by inspiration. "I think you forgot
to add the table to the tab, because we weren't charged for it."
Ryoga-chan blinked. "Oops!" She jumped to her feet. "Could you show me
the way back there and pay for it?"
"Sure." *Damn Hyperdolls! The amount they cost me in property damage
..* They began walking. Akai sincerely hoped Maika and Miyu were
following. "So, um ... what's your name?" he asked after a moment.
"Ryoga Hibiki," she replied politely. "What's yours?"
"My name's Akai Hideo." He decided he may as well get it over with
now. "So, Ryoga, doing anything Saturday night?"
Ryoga-chan looked surprised. *What?!! Is this guy asking me out?!!*
"Why do you ask?"
Akai gritted his teeth. *I'm gonna kill those two ...* "Well, I was
just wondering if you might possibly maybe consider going on a date"
He paused for a moment. "With me." *Say no!*
Ryoga-chan wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. On one hand, she
thought it was genuinely hilarious that this guy really thought she
was datable material. On the other hand she was angry and upset that
she'd spent months and months trying to pluck up the courage to ask
Akane out and this guy had the courage to ask her within about ten
minutes of meeting her. Plus the total irony that the first time she
was ever getting asked out was when she was a girl. Time for a little
white lie. "I'm flattered ... but I already have a boyfriend."
Phew. That was a close call. Akai smiled in relief. *They can't hurt
me - she turned me down flat.* "I'm not surprised, a cute girl like
you," he said cheerfully, not seeing the scowl appearing on her face.
"So what's he like?"
Time for another lie. *I'll just describe Ranma ... after all, every
single girl _I_ know is madly in love with him ... no. I can't do
that. I don't even know what they see in him. I'll just have to
improvise.* "Umm ... well, ... he's cute and strong and kinda smart
and a real good cook ..."
"Really?" Akai was genuinely interested. *Mental note - learn to
cook.* He'd always wondered what girls looked for in guys. "He sounds
too good to be true."
Ryoga-chan shrugged, trying to look innocent. "Well, they do say love
is blind."
"Until marriage restores the sight," Akai quipped. "So what does this
wonderboy look like?"
*Now what the hell do I say?!!* she thought, feeling slightly panicky.
"Well, um ... he's um ... he's got brown eyes and um ... really dark
drown hair and he's got the nicest smile ..." *Now I'm beginning to
understand how hard it was for Ukyo to pretend to be a guy!*
*It's a pity she might be an alien. She's really nice. And real cute.
Why are all the cute aliens homicidal?* Akai thought with a sigh. *Ah
well. Nearly there.* All he had to do was converse for a little
longer. "What does he do?"
Ryoga-chan's extremely short temper snapped. "Jeez! Enough with the
third degree! Why not just shine a light in my eyes?!!"
Akai blinked. *Argh! She knows! She knows I'm helping the Hyperdolls!
She's gonna kill me!!!" However, months of hiding his secret had long
since stopped him from blurting things out on pain of death and to
think (a bit more) quickly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," he
said quickly. "What about you? How long have you been working at
Ucchans?"
Ryoga-chan relaxed. "Just started today with my sister and brothers...
and here we are!" She pushed open the door.
*CLANG*
"OW! What the heck was that for?!!" Ryoga-chan yelled.
Ukyo glared at her. "YOU left me to try and reason with Ranchan, the
king of denial. Thanks to YOUR lack of help ..."
Ryoga-chan grabbed Akai by the arm. "Akai has to pay for a table."
Akai looked nervously at Ukyo's large spatula. "It was a total
accident ..."
Ukyo closed her eyes. "That's fine. It happens all the time. Here's
the bill."
Akai groaned inwardly. Tables always cost more than they looked like
they should. *I'm going to kill those two ...* he thought, handing
over the money.
Maika and Miyu burst into the restaurant. "Akai! So when's your date
with the totally hot waitress?!!" Miyu shouted.
Ukyo, R-C, R-A and R-D (who'd all just found their way back) were
instantly all ears.
"Date?!!"
"What?!! With you?!!"
"Totally hot waitress?!!"
Ryoga-chan glared at them. "Haha. Akai's gonna go away now ..."
*If only looks could kill ...* Akai thought angrily. "We need to talk
.." he snarled at Maika and Miyu, dragging them to a booth. "None of
these people are related to me," he called over his shoulder.
"Neither are any of these people anymore," Ryoga-chan growled, glaring
at her 'siblings.'
"Sooo ..." R-D began with a smirk.
"We're not going to talk about it now," Ryoga-chan snapped. "Got that?
As of now, this conversation is over."
Ukyo dragged her behind the counter. "Well this one isn't," she
hissed. "You have to talk to Ranchan because there is no way I'm
marrying you."
Ryoga-chan blinked. Then burst into hysterical laughter, doubling over
and almost in tears. "Mu-ma-mar-marry yu-yu-you?" she gasped.
"Th-ha-thats fu-fun-unny!" She didn't notice the scowl deepen on
Ukyo's face as she collapsed on the ground, still laughing. "Th-hat is
so, so, funny!"
*CLANG* 
"OW!"
 "AND WHAT'S SO FUNNY THEN?!!!"
R-C shook her head with a small laugh. "Let's hide in the corner for a
while in case she mistakes us for him," she advised R-A and R-D.
Ryoga-chan glared at her boss and stood up. "What did I ..." 
"Prrrrr" 
She looked at the small kitten nestled in her arms with amazement.
"Aiko! You came back!!" She hugged the little cat in delight. "Awww
.. you're so sweet ..."
Ukyo glared at her for a moment longer. "Ahem. We were just talking
.."
Ryoga-chan ignored the increasingly enraged chef and carried Aiko over
to the refrigerator. "L'il Aiko want some milk? And some fish?" The
purring increased in volume. "Daddy'll get you some now."
*BANG*
"OW!" Ryoga-chan rubbed her nose where it'd hit the spatula. "Is there
some reason that thing was in my way?"
"No. I just felt like inflicting pain on you," Ukyo snapped. "Now get
that animal out of here."
"But she's so sweet and cute and ..."
"I DON'T CARE!!!" Ukyo sighed at the hurt expression on her face.
"This is a restaurant. I can't have animals in here."
"So I'll take her out the back," Ryoga-chan said stubbornly.
"She can't stay here. It'd be unhygienic ... and Ranma ..."
Ryoga-chan scowled. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot Ranma was Lord of the
universe and whatever he says goes." She hugged the little kitten
closer. "Just hold her for a second," she pleaded.
Ukyo's expression softened as she picked up Aiko. "She is kinda cute
.. but she still can't stay here." Aiko mewed and jumped out of her
arms, running straight back over to Ryoga-chan.
"Please?"
"No." Ukyo crossed her arms sternly.
Ryoga-chan put on a surprisingly effective girlie pout. "Fine then."
She stomped over to the doorway.
Ukyo blinked in surprise, then ran over to block her path. "Whoa,
where do you think you're going?!"
Ryoga-chan looked up at her in annoyance. It really bugged her that
when she was a girl, she was shorter than Ukyo, Akane and even
Ranma-chan. "I'm taking her back to _my_ house." 
Nose in the air, she stalked past her surprised boss. A scowl spread
across Ukyo's face and she grabbed Ryoga-chan by the back of the
apron. "Get back here! Your shift isn't over yet!" 
Ryoga-chan, being monstrously strong in either form, barely even
slowed down. "So I'll come back and work overtime. Big deal. Aiko
needs food more than these people do." Ukyo placed a foot on either
side of the doorframe to stop Ryoga-chan from dragging her down the
street and yanked hard. The back of the apron ripped in half, and
Ryoga-chan landed flat on her face on the pavement. Ukyo landed flat
on her back inside the restaurant. And Aiko managed to avoid injury by
jumping out of her adopted owners arms and landing in front of her.
"Prowww." She batted Ryoga-chan on the nose. Translation - Hey.
"Aiko! Are you all right?!! Are you hurt?!!" Ryoga-chan scooped the
kitten into her arms and hugged her.
"Mroww." Translation - I'm fine.
Ukyo sat up slowly. *That jerk! Doesn't even check to see if _I'm_ all
right!!*
"Prrrrr." Translation - Feed me.
She hefted her spatula. *I'll teach him to respect his boss!*
"Meow." Translation - I hope you realise, dear owner, that the girl
you just landed flat on her spine is wielding a giant spatula with a
lot of aggression. I think you'd better avoid it pronto, because it's
heading your way.
*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*
Maika looked over at them and sighed. "Should we intervene? If this
Ryoga person is really an alien, then the chef may be in danger if she
keeps smashing her over the head."
Miyu nodded. "Yes. Lets." They made their way over to the duelling
teens. "Excuse us. We'd like to order some food?"
Like magic, Ukyo immediately stopped hitting her waitress over the
head. "Sure! I'll be right there." She nudged Ryoga-chan with her toe.
"Get up, you. You can feed the wretched thing some food and keep her
here for the rest of the day. But then she goes." She dragged R-C, R-D
and R-A along too. "You three, stop slacking and get cracking!"
"Thank you _so_ much," Ryoga-chan muttered to herself, rubbing the
back of her head and slowly climbing to her feet. Aiko purred and
wound herself around her ankles, promptly tripping her over again.
"Hi. My name is Maika Minazuki." Maika offered a hand to Ryoga-chan,
who flushed scarlet and declined the offer. "You are Ryoga, aren't
you?"
"Yes, I ... um ... well, yes. Did Akai tell you?" Ryoga-chan picked up
the kitten again and looked around for the refrigerator.
"Yes." Miyu appeared on the other side of her. "My name is Miyu
Fumizuki. We're cousins. Akai is our ... friend."
"It's ... it's n-nice to meet you," she stuttered in reply. Cute girls
always made her nervous even when she was a girl. After all, she was
still a guy at heart. "Could you tell me where the fridge is?"
Maika looped an arm through Ryoga-chans. "It's this way."
Miyu looped her arm through Ryoga-chans other arm. "We'll show you the
way." They began to frogmarch her towards the counter.
Ryoga-chan whipped her head from side to side. "T-that's very kind of
you, but you don't have to hold on to me," she stuttered, red-faced.
"You have a very cute kitten," Maika observed. "What is her name?"
Ryoga-chan tickled the kitten under the chin. "Aiko. Isn't she
adorable?"
Ukyo glared at the three of them out of the corner of her eye. "What
do you want to eat, then?" she asked Akai.
Akai dragged his gaze away from the three girls feeding and petting
the small kitten. "Ah, sorry. One large special, please." *Bet they'll
make me pay for it again.*

End Part XIV
Final song - Amidst The Chaos Of The Day

======================
PART XV
When the going gets tough 
The tough get dinner.
======================

"Hey Ryoga, join us for dinner," Miyu suggested.
"What?!" Ryoga-chan looked up in surprise. "N-no, that's OK, I'm only
the waitress ..."
"We insist," Maika stated. 
Miyu took hold of her arm with a grip that said "Don't argue with us,
buster. You're coming with us whether you like it or not." It was a
grip only a Hyperdoll could grip with. It was also a grip only someone
with Ryoga-chan's brute strength could break out of. And she did. The
two girls eyed each other with sudden suspicion.
Maika laughed. "It's OK, we don't bite. We're just new in town and
wanna make friends."
Ryoga-chan relaxed slightly. "I'd have to ask Ukyo first ... but why
me?" *Why not R-C?*
"Because you're the one Akai fancies!" The two Hyperdolls giggled. R-C
wandered over to them. "Hey Ryoga, watcha doin'?"
Ryoga-chan looked at her 'sister' in relief. "Hi, R-C, I'd like you to
meet Maika and Miyu. They're new in town."
"Hello R-C," Maika said politely. *I suspect this girl is a body
clone, created as a decoy. And her brothers may be GM body clones
also. It is a good thing we can detect the differences in energy
levels. I will have to share my suspicions with Miyu later.* Still, if
they had to mimic earthlings, they may as well keep up the act. "Would
you like to join us for dinner too?"
Miyu caught on. "Akai would love that. He talks to all the cute
girls."
"He thinks you're totally hot!"
"You should watch out for him."
Ryoga-chan and R-C looked at the two of them in confusion. "Excuse me,
I have to put Aiko upstairs for now," Ryoga-chan said, sounding dazed.
Ukyo savagely flipped another okonomiyaki. "R-A, one for table 3," she
called angrily. R-A wandered around for a second, in confusion, before
getting a spatula over the head. Akai winced. "The counter is behind
you!" Ukyo said with false cheeriness. "Perhaps you could inform your
SISTERS to help R-D. He looks a bit lost."
"I'm fine," R-D lied.
Ryoga-chan glared at Ukyo in annoyance. *She _knows_ how much I hate
being referred to as female! Couldn't she just call me by name?!!* She
turned back to Maika and Miyu. "We would love to join you for dinner,
wouldn't we, R-C?" she said loudly.
"We would?" R-C blinked, then enlightenment dawned. "Yeah! We'd love
to!"
"Let's put Aiko upstairs first."
Akai shook his head with a small groan. "Hey, Ukyo, how long have you
lived in Tokyo? Known Ryoga for long? How'd you get to be such a good
chef?"
Ukyo glared at the direction the four girls had disappeared in.
*Stupid Ryoga! He'll get himself fired if he's not careful! If I
didn't want the company ...* Much as she hated to admit it to anyone,
it often got lonely at Ucchans after the customers had gone. True,
she'd spent almost ten years of her life alone, but after settling
down in Nerima and making friends, she grown to dislike being lonely
more and more. That was one of the reasons she'd decided to hire an
assistant. She suddenly realised Akai was talking to her. "I'm sorry,
what did you say?"
Akai repeated his comment. "I just wondered if you were dating one of
Ryoga's brothers."
Ukyo flushed. "Date that jerk?! Are you mad?!!" *I have _got_ to talk
to Daddy and undo this mess Mr Saotome's created ...*
R-D jerked his head up. "Is if any of us would date a mach..."
R-A clapped a hand over his 'brothers' mouth. "Do you want to get us
all killed?!" he hissed.
Ukyo gave them a threatening look. "What was that you were saying?"
"Nothing!" R-A said cheerfully. "OW!" R-D'd bitten him.
R-D grinned. "I was saying, none of us would date a macho
cross-dressing tomboy like you!"
"WHY YOU LITTLE ..."
Akai began to wish he'd never been born. Much to his relief, Maika,
Miyu, Ryoga-chan and R-C turned up then. "Hey girls! Our food's nearly
ready!" Much to his surprise, Ukyo immediately whacked Ryoga-chan over
the head with her giant spatula.
"What the hell was that for?!"
"So you think I'm a macho cross-dressing tomboy, do you?!! Take that,
you creep!"
*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*
Ryoga-chan grabbed the spatula out of Ukyo's grip. "I _never_ called
you a macho cross-dressing tomboy!" She paused for a second. "Not that
I remember, anyway."
Ukyo snatched her spatula back. "Never mind. Take these over to table
7. R-C, I've got two orders for table 1 in a sec."
Akai looked at Maika and Miyu. "Why don't we go now?" he
asked/pleaded.
The Hyperdolls nodded in agreement. "Yes. We'll come back tomorrow."
Paying for the okonomiyaki, they left.
"They were nice," Ryoga-chan said after a moment.
"They thought you were a girl," Ukyo pointed out. "Especially Akai.
Now get serving!"
R-D made his way back over to them. "What _is_ your problem? You were
really mean to Ryoga - you know how much he hates being referred to as
a girl - you could've just called him by name. And what do you keep
hitting him for?!"
R-C nodded. "I have to agree. He didn't do anything wrong."
Ukyo sighed. "Sorry. I'm just a bit upset over this whole thing with
us being engaged."
"That's OK. We'll get it sorted," Ryoga-chan said. *And you and
Shampoo can go running back to your damn precious Ranma.*

"Doll Miyu, Doll Maika, for once you are correct." The Hyperdolls
ignored the criticism as their Commander continued. "There is
definitely something very strange about Ryoga Hibiki."
Akai looked gloomily at the Commander. His gloomy expression was
brought on partly by the fact Ryoga was such a babe and he was upset
that she really _did_ appear to be an alien - which would mean the
Hyperdolls would have to kill her, and partly by the fact that the
okonomiyaki the Commander had appeared in was getting cold. "Are you
certain?" he asked, hoping someone had made one heck of a bad
calculation somewhere. After all, the Hyperdolls had no sense of
responsibility whatsoever. It wouldn't be the first time they'd made a
mistake.
Miyu glared at Akai. "She pulled out of my grip as if it were nothing.
She is definitely no ordinary girl."
The Commander nodded. "No. According to her earth record, she is
actually a he."
The other three all facefaulted. "Show us the record!" Maika said.
"Ryoga Hibiki, male, one sister ..." 
"R-C?" Akai asked hopefully. *She was a babe too ...* 
"No. One seven year old sister, Keiko Hibiki"
"Aww .... Isn't she adorable!" Miyu squealed, looking at the
hologramatic photograph attached.
Akai sighed. "So which one is Ryoga then? R-A or R-D?"
The Commander blinked. "Who's to say Ryoga isn't Ryoga? After all, she
.. he is the one with the peculiar energy levels. Doll Maika, you may
have a point with body clones. If he can create two male body clones
of himself, then it is possible he created two female bodies and
housed himself in one as a very effective disguise."
"He has the cutest little sister!" Miyu said with a grin. 
The Commander groaned. "She may be human, alien or non-existent. I
will check records with the Galaxy Police - this is a very serious
matter. Meanwhile, I would like you to keep an eye on this Ryoga. Find
out everything about him or her."
Maika and Miyu nodded. "Yes Commander."
"And be discrete!!!"
They blinked. "How?"
"Continue to make friends with her and her friends. Join the same
school as her, I don't know," the Commander said irritably. "Think of
something!"
The Hyperdolls nodded. "Yes Commander." 

"But Daddy, it's not ... yes, but that was ... Daddy, would you listen
to me!" 
Ryoga shook his head. "Ugh. This is terrible," he muttered, stroking
Aiko for comfort. 
Ukyo waved a hand at him, to indicate for him to shut up unless he
wanted a spatula over the head. "I _know_ Daddy ... Daddy, I do _not_
want to marry him!" There was a slight pause. "It was a faked photo!
Daddy, please listen ... no, I ..." 
There was another long pause. Ryoga wished Ukyo's father would just
shut up and let her explain. It was the first time Ukyo and her father
had spoken in ten years. And so far the whole conversation had
consisted of long pauses, lots of two word protesting and quite a lot
of slander against him. "Look, Daddy ... yes, I ... DADDY! LISTEN TO
ME!!!" 
*Like that's really going to work!* At least Ukyo seemed to have
temporarily forgotten about sending Aiko away. *She may be only a cat
.. but it's nice to have someone who genuinely loves me.* He smiled
slightly as Aiko purred lazily.
"So what if he's cute? I _know_ he's cute! But cute isn't everything!
Daddy, he's a jerk!"
"I'm what?!!"
Ukyo covered the mouthpiece of the phone. "Ssh. He doesn't know you're
here."
"But ..."
"You're not a jerk, OK? Happy now?" She resumed her argument with her
father. "Here? No, there's no-one else here now .... it was the
television ... Daddy ... Daddy, no!"
*I've been called worse ... it was the 'cute' remark I was referring
to,* he thought, blushing slightly. 
"Daddy, Daddy wait! Dad ..." She looked at the phone in annoyance.
"Damn!"
"He cut you off again?" Ryoga asked.
"He cut me off again. Get off the counter, it's not a chair." Ukyo
redialled and resumed pacing up and down. "Daddy? Yes, it's me again
.."
Ryoga didn't bother getting off the counter. This was the seventh time
Ukyo's father had hung up on her and it was really rather depressing
to know she'd been on the phone for two hours - long distance as well
- to avoid marrying him. *At least Shampoo's _trying_!!*
"I don't want you to pay for the wedding! I'm _NOT_ going to marry
him!! Daddy ..."
*Any minute now, it'll be 'I know he left me in a ditch, but I still
love him.' God, it's pathetic!* Ryoga sighed.
"Yes, I know he left me in a ditch ... but I still ... I know!"
*Ah well. I was close. Let's see ... next it's 'I know he's engaged. I
don't care.'*
"Yes Daddy, I know he's engaged, but I don't ... Daddy, would you stop
interrupting!"
Ryoga looked at Aiko sadly. *What do _you_ see in me that nobody else
sees?* He glanced at Ukyo. *What is it she hates so much about me?
What's the next line? 'Daddy I love Ranma, not Ryoga,' then they'll go
into another argument about what Ukyo hates about me.* So far she'd
called him a moron, an idiot, a jerk, a jackass, a twit, a buffoon and
a few others he'd forgotten. *What did she do? Memorise a thesaurus?*
There were two that'd made him laugh, though. The first was
'directionally disabled dental disaster' which had led to an
embarrassing half conversation about honeymoons and exploring, until
Ukyo had exploded and screamed "Daddy, that's SICK! As if I'd ever do
that with HIM!" and 'playboy.' *Ha! Me, a playboy?! That's the _last_
thing _I_ am!*
"Daddy, I love Ranma, not Ryoga," came the inevitable.
*And next her Dad'll say 'why' and then she'll start again.* He braced
himself for the next wave of slander, half wondering why he didn't
join R-A, R-C and R-D upstairs to play Monopoly. *Because I'm a
glutton for punishment ... and she wanted me here for moral support.
I'm the one who needs support!*
"Daddy, he's ..."
*A demonic evil spawned from hell. Pick  from the list.*
"... A nice enough guy, I just don't want to marry him."
"What?!!" Ryoga jerked his head up. "You never said that before!"
Ukyo waved him away frantically. "No Daddy. There's no-one else here
.. no, that is NOT why I'm being so nasty about him ... no, he's not
here! How many times do I have to emphasise that?! Daddy, Daddy wait!"
She glared at the phone again. "He cut me off again! Why didn't you
keep your mouth shut?!!" She began to redial the number. "Shut up this
time, OK?"
"Ukyo ..."
"What?!!" she growled, stabbing at the numbers.
*Why do you hate me so much?* He looked at the kitten sleeping in his
arms. "Nothing." he whispered. A small tear trickled down his face.
*Am I really so horrible?*
"Daddy? Daddy don't you dare hang up on me again!" 
Ryoga stood up. "I'm going outside," he whispered quietly.
Ukyo nodded absently. "Daddy, we've gone through this before. I'm not
going to marry him ... I know Ranma left me in a ditch ... yes I know
.. Daddy, I don't care! Daddy ..." 
Ryoga leaned against the wall outside and let the tears fall. *She's
right. I'm nothing compared to Ranma. I'm nothing _not_ compared to
Ranma. Why am I being kept alive if all I have to look forward to is
continual defeat?* He closed his eyes sadly. *Even when he's not here,
I'm still living in his shadow.* 
He listened to Ukyo's voice floating through the doorway. "But Daddy,
he's not Ranma ... that's the point ..."

End Part XV
Final song - Slipping Away



Member 30 of SSoAGMA, Deadly Everyday Object Weaponary Technique, Dragon Warrior Style
Mousse no miku; Generally dangerous English otaku
Member of the Chan club; Wos; Head Castrator of the Hotnit Feminisation Project; SOotCiP; Supporter of cliched pairs;
Keeper of the Moneybags for the Hotnit Fan Club; CotMHW - Launderer of the Robes of Death; SLAP;
4th Gen. EOE; Image Consultant For "That Guy"; #WASHU#;AKPReSS, Gen. Div.
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